She said a thing (Lan and Aeron)

[iStoleYurVamps]

She had said a thing. A thing about her stupid feelings. Irrational, emotional, messy feelings.

About Aeron.

She wanted to crawl into a hole and wait for a hunter to kill her. She'd been so caught up in everything she hadn't even realized what she was doing, what she was saying- he must thought her a fool. Or worse, a shameless wanton noblewoman. Even as she got ready to move into the tower, into the new home, she wanted to go back and just hit herself.

Wandering around the near abandoned gardens they had built in the now defunct sanctuary, Lan didn't know what to do with herself. How did she even talk to him, to anyone after what she done?

At the very least she supposed, she did get to kiss him once. Sort of.  

[Pixie Nyxie]

Aeron too was in the gardens, though he had been more passing/following Lan a bit as he was attempting his own reasonings as to why Lan would feel the need to seduce him?

His thoughts would drift to his priestess and her well..traveled adventures with others, but even the thought of Lan as such was immediately rejected and thrown out.

He saw her, and he wanted to touch her, draw her into an embrace, tell her he understood. But it was improper and he was not suited for her in that way, though he wished he was. Though he wished he understood why he wished he was.

Instead he plucked a small flower, from the garden and moved to her. "Lady Lan...." He offered it out as a sort of peace offering as to not scare her away. He wanted to say 'It saddens me to see you bothered or Please let me help you with your troubles' but he was stuck on what to say and just held the flower out with his normal stoically placed face.  

[iStoleYurVamps]

Lan hadn't been expecting anyone else to be at the gardens, let alone following her. So as she heard her name, in the one voice that she both didn't want to hear and at the same time wanted to hear so badly, Lan froze. She didn't know how to react. Did she run? Face him? Claim she wasn't Lan but her twin sister

She hadn't a clue.
So, lan went with her gut and her gut said look at him.

As she did so, the heat she'd become familiar with filled her cheeks. A flower, of all things, he would offer a flower.

Timid, so unlike her normal self, (though she attributed this to the effects of her stupid irrational feelings controlling her emotions), Lan reached out and took the flower, spinning it in her fingers.
"...You- you can call me just Lan you know."  

[Pixie Nyxie]

He stared for a moment.

"I had thought to come here and gather some blooms for you Lan..." She had offered, so he took. A small thing, to call her so familiarly. Others might do it, but for him, it meant something much deeper, it meant much more. "Am I bothering you?"  

[iStoleYurVamps]

He was looking at her. Look at her again. All..looky and intensely and Aeron-y.

It really was rather unfair in her mind that his looking could make yet more heat rise to her face. "That-" It was thoughtful. Nice. It was the kind of thing that made her smile and made her feel normal.

"Thank you." She didn't know what else to say to him. She was sorry? She didn't mean it but really she did? She liked him- perhaps wanting to be more than just a friend? Yet she knew she did not desire intimacy? She just wanted to be near him, to be with him.

Aeron made her want things she didn't understand- didn't make sense.

"But..no, you don't bother me." He never bothered her. He just made her feel confusing things was all.  

[Pixie Nyxie]

He waited for a moment, perhaps too.

"If you are not bothered, then why does your gaze falter in meeting mine?" Aeron hesitated before reaching out, his hand hovering by her hair, wishing to tuck her hair behind it. Wishing it could be just a simple touch.

Wishing for once he hadn't heard that she wanted him, the same as he wanted her. As he had no idea what to do now. "Have you packed your things for moving to the tower?" It was a distraction, a move away from her and her temptation. His hand dropped from where it hovered.

iStoleYurVamps

 

[iStoleYurVamps]

He had to ask her didn't he. He just had to ask why she couldn't look him in the eye, why she didn't meet his gaze. She wanted to yet she knew what he would see. He'd see her confusion, her emotions, her loss of control. He'd see the ruth is what he'd heard, what she'd said.

Lan kept spinning the flower, gaze to the earth, to her feet. "....." She attempted a smile, thinking how she could just say what she felt, just tell him. How easy it would be.
"It's must seem very queer to you. My actions." She looked at him, blushing, forcing herself not to look away. "I must apologize- I got caught up. In everything."

Her face went back to the ground, to the flower in hand.
"I've had my things moved. Tonight I will be settling in."

Nyxtsuki Moon

 

[Pixie Nyxie]

The blush was refreshing, and it reminded Aeron that perhaps she didn't hate him but was nervous to like him. It was their stations he knew, as he should know that would be the biggest factor. He was of death and she of conquest. To let the idea fester of them anything more then what they were now was foolish.

"...." It was hard to speak, caught up in her actions? Caught up in battle? He wondered why it mattered, did she not have thoughts of him anywhere else. Did she think of him, like he thought of her when he was alone in his tent and flowers on the breeze? He was getting angry at himself for pining for something he couldn't have that he wished he could have that he didn't understand what it was.

"I see." he turned a bit to look at the flowers, "We will be closer now, in our new home." He muttered. "Who was the horseman in gold that talked to you often?"

iStoleYurVamps

 

[iStoleYurVamps]

His silence made Lan worry. She wanted to just tell him how she felt, to just let him know that she wanted him for the fact he was just..him. It hurt to know she could say nothing. To know that she shouldn't, that it was dangerous to risk things like that.

Yet the risk had it's appeal.

"Yes. Just a few floors away. You're always welcome to visit you know!" She made the offer before she could stop herself. "I mean, you don't have to but if you should wish to, you may. I enjoy-" What did she enjoy? his company. Even when he was quiet she enjoyed being near him. "Guests." She kicked herself. She could have taken a risk.

"Mengyao?" She looked to Aeron, confused. "He is a noble like myself." She recalled his look towards her- "One who I suppose will demand a few answers of me."

Nyxtsuki Moon

 

[Pixie Nyxie]

Aeron relaxed slight.

"If you will allow me then, perhaps I will visit." He nodded. His tone a bit softer now that he could reject the idea that she would run from him. Nor would she hide. It was a...nice feeling of relief.

"Mengyao." He repeated, "He is...very noble." He smiled, though away from her. "And what will you tell him Lan?"

iStoleYurVamps

 

[iStoleYurVamps]

She smiled, shyly looking at him before turning her gaze down again. He might have had no idea how happy it made her to hear he would visit. Even something at simple as that was just.. happy.

Brushing her hair back she pondered his question, fingers busy in her hair then her robes. Did she admit to what she said or did she brush it off. Looking back at him, it hurt in a strange way to even contemplate lying to him.

"...That I let my emotions control me." She looked at him, afraid that what would come next would ruin whatever it was that they had.

"That I have developed..feelings for you."

Nyxtsuki Moon

 

[Pixie Nyxie]

He stilled.

And he remained still for a moment as a parade of thoughts took over.

She had feelings for him. She had feelings. Romantic feelings if seduction was involved. He should turn her away. Turn her away from him. He would never be worth her time, her lineage. He was a lowly death guardian meant to serve priestesses and that was all.

He didn't know why his body moved the way it did, how he had come to stand in front of her, how he tilted her chin up to search her eyes. He wasn't sure where he lost himself enough to allow his head to lower, touch his lips gently to hers.

He didn't no where he had gone wrong, but it just felt so..right.

iStoleYurVamps

 

[iStoleYurVamps]

She froze after she spoke. She wasn't sure what to do. He wasn't saying anything. He was moving but not away. Closer actually. Her heart was pounding and echoing in her ears as Aeron moved closer. Was he going to put her down gently? She bet he was. He was a guardian, devoted to his order, he wouldn't have time for her. His life was for them, nothing else.

His touch made her heart pound faster, louder, and he was looking at her so intensely. She could feel the warmth of his hand, her own body moving closer, towards that faint touch. She could see him bending down, and then the soft pressure against her. He froze for a second before she let her self get lost into the kiss, eyes closing as she enjoyed that soft weight against her lips. Her own hands reached up to cup his face momentarily before it ended.

Smiling she didn't move from him, but rather slid a hand down to grab at his own.

Nyxtsuki Moon

 

[Pixie Nyxie]

This was all sorts of wrong. He didn't have any right, he didn't have any right to touch her like he was. he was worried that he had ruined their friendship, and even if she had feelings for him, perhaps she would come to her senses and remember what he was.

Remember who he was. He had never needed something so desperately though. His time with his priestess had taught him never to take for himself. his time with his priestess should've killed the idea that he was worth anything more then a temporary guardian.

When her hand touched his, he laced his fingers through, resting his head on her forehead. There was a lot of raw emotion in his eyes, in the way he held himself. It was the first sign of weakness...the first sign of something more from the Death horseman.

"Lan." He said her name, thick and heavy. "I should not take from you." He squeezed her hand. "I should not take from you, and I have."

iStoleYurVamps

 

[iStoleYurVamps]

How come he made her feel like this? How did she, after her own stupid feelings had messed her up before, now just make her so happy? She'd grown from her past right? There wasn't room for emotions like these. There wasn't time for such. She was supposed to do Other things. Important things so why.

Why did he make her want to just stop and be with him? Stay near him? Hold him and want to be held?

Aeron had done something to her, and the worst part was that she liked it.

His kiss had made so man fears rise yet so many others fade away. It was scary, thrilling- all the sorts of thing she didn't want to deal with for fear that it would hurt her. His gaze kept her heart pounding after their kiss. His voice had a chill running down her spine. This was it, this was when it would end.

Yet she didn't want it to. Lan didn't want to give this, whatever this was, up. So, she let herself speak freely.

"No. No you took nothing." She lifted his hand, squeezing, placing it over her chest. "What you took- I have already given. And I-" She smiled at him. "I am happy to have given this part of me to you."

Nyxtsuki Moon