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Apple Blossom19

Eloquent Exhibitionist

PostPosted: Sat Mar 15, 2014 2:45 pm


General Info
Custom: FULL! (cause I'm not sure what to put for her, and I want to throw gold at Magesc)
Character Name: Shenra
Race: Orderite
Gender: Female
Clan: N/A
Class: Civilian, laborer, engineer/tinker

Appearance
Shenra has very long, light blue hair, much like this or this or this (With Kadryn's hair color). While her eyes are a bright sunny pastel yellow, like here in the middle of the dress (the light part). Her skin is rather pale, but not too pale that she looks sick. Even when she's been in the sun, for some reason, she does not tan easily. Her wings are very unique in her immediate family because of her mother and father's wing colors. Her mother has pastel, very light yellow wings with patterns of ribbons of white or a paler white than the yellow, while her father has very light blue wings. She was born with the yellow wings and patterns, but the bottom part (the ends of the wings) is the same light blue of her father's. The white patterns she shares with her mother, go through both colorings. She is the only one of her parent's 5 children that has this coloring, and not even her grandparents on ether side of her parentage have this dual color in their wings.

She loves the steampunk fashion of Ashen City. Because she is little, she has to wear tops with her favorite corsets and skirts. Because she is small, and due to her class, she wears short Victorian era boots. I would make a tektek, but sadly the new items are not there yet ^^"


(Adept will also sport her wearing this type of clothing. Expert and possibly Master will have her wearing sundresses from the country)

She likes to wear earnings that have cuffs on the top of her ear and is linked by a chain to a stud at the bottom of the ear where we (humans) would have a stud. But because of the nature of her work, she doesn't wear anything when she is doing any tinkering.


Personality
Happy: She has two loving parents who teach her things. What else could she ask for? This is one of her weakness in that she can be too happy at times not to notice things, such as other people's true facades.

Trusting: She has no reason not to trust people. Her parents have always dealt honestly not only with her, but with the people they encounter, such as her mother's customers and her father's students. However, this is also a weakness that can get her into trouble as she trusts too much and can get hurt easily.

Studious and Hard Working: She loves to learn and implement her learning. Sometimes to the point of all other things. She would rather be in her mother's workshop working on something her mother had just taught her, or she had just learned. Unfortunately, she becomes oblivious to everything around her, and probably won't notice you are standing there for a while ^^"""

Absentminded/Organized: She has to have her tinkering work area organized. If she doesn't she will probably spend all day looking for something, and of course she finds it ether in the oddest places, or the most obvious. This also helps her when she is checking over her tools.

Questioning: She questions everything. I mean EVERYTHING. Sometimes even her father, whom she thinks knows everything, can't answer her. So she just tries to answer it herself, mostly finding wrong answers. While this helps her with her tinkering, it gets her into trouble with people when talking on the taboo subjects of politics (the great war and race) and religion, (again the great war and race). Her parents try very hard to talk things out with her, especially on these large, "adult" topics.

Cooking: While she inherited her mother's love and gift of tinkering, she also found her knack of liking to cook. Though not as good as her father, or her skills as a tinker, she loves to make things for her parents and siblings to eat. She doesn't tell her other friends she cooks, mostly because she is shy about it. This shyness is mostly because she feels a bit intimidated with her cooking at that stage, and thus why she won't tell anyone outside her family about it. She's not as sure of herself in that area as she is in her tinkering.


Biography/Background

Family
Shenra's mother, Orina: Orina comes from a merchant background in Ashen City, and has learned the family trade of tinkering. She loves to create "projects" that has resulted in several inventions that work rather well, such as a "welder" that allows her to combine two metals together. She has a loyal following of customers and can't complain about life. She has pastel sunshine color eyes, and wings with the same color that has white patterns through out it, her hair is the same color and long.

Shenra's Father, Mirika: Orphaned just before he exited the higher school levels of Serena in Ashen City, he had no trouble moving out out of his parent's upper-middle class roots and trying to establish his own. Choosing to not live with the well to do part of society, he chose to hide his moderate inheritance and find a paying job. He also loves to cook, something the whole family enjoys, especially when he tries something new. He has light blue hair, wings and eyes. His hair is short though and he wears wire rimmed glasses.

Shenra's younger twin brother and sister, Ralina (b) and Reinka (s): Born 10 years after Shenra, Ral and Rei are newborns who demand time and attention. Shenra loves being big sister, except when having to wash their dippers.... Shenra has no jealousy towards them and loves them... Except the dippers.... Ralina takes after his mother in coloring, pale yellow hair, eyes, and wings, and Reinka takes after his father with pale blue hair, eyes and wings.


Family History
Shenra's mother and father met when Mirika was hired as a live in tutor and shopkeeper for Orina's father. In exchange for tutoring his daughter and working in the Ashen City tinker shop, Mirika had room and board. This arrangement was made when Mirika was 19 and Orina 9. As Orina and Mirika worked together and she grew up, Orina developed feelings for Mirika. When Mirika had announced that he could no longer tutor Orina when she was 19, she confessed her feelings for him, and was rather surprised that Mirika returned them, even though he was 29 and she was 19. Mirika said that he never revealed his feelings as she grew because he was, after all, her tutor and she his student.

(Ages can be rearranged, just as long as he is totally older than her ^^" )

They had a traditional wedding soon after.

It was then reviled, not to anyone's surprise, that Shenra had been conceived the same day the two had reviled their feelings for each other.

Mirika adored Shenra from the first moment he laid eyes on her, and was very happy that she had adopted not only Orina coloring (yellow eyes), but his as well (blue hair), not to mention the dual coloring of her wings. "How much more truth do you need that you are proof of our love Shenra?" he would always say to her.

Having a new family, Mirika moved his new family from the shop Orina grew up in to a new area that had a house with a shop and workshop attached to it at the side. It had more rooms, spanning two stories, as well as larger living areas. Shenra grew up learning at her father's knee all that he could teach her, and from the books her father kept in a makeshift study. When she was about 5 Sherna began to follow her mother into the workshop, where she would sit and watch her mother work. Here she would learn the way and love of being a tinker by watching her mother work at the family trade. Soon when she was about 10 she joined in helping her mother work.

It was during an accident in the workroom at this age that led Orina to acquire scars on her back while shielding her daughter. The machine called a “welder” acquired too much pressure while her mother was using it. Orina had noticed just in time the strange behavior of the machine, and had grabbed her daughter and attempted to hide behind the metal forge in the shop. Though she had shielded her daughter from the debris of the explosion, Shenra never forgot the lessons learned from it. While the event itself was scary, she did not fear the machine when her mother rebuilt it. Instead, her mother had unintentionally taught her daughter to check her machines like clockwork, to check her instruments while she works, and give them routine checkups. (While Shenra’s mother would have checked her tools, this “welder” tool was a recent invention of hers and still was testing it out on her work.)

Orina though had been the recipient of the fears of the accident, worried about having her young daughter around her inventions, as well as fears Mirika would never desired her anymore due to her scars and endangerment of their child. Even though Mirika would reassure her, even to the point of making love to her to prove she was still desirable, Orina's fear of constantly putting Shenra (or later any of her children) into danger with her work would take longer to fade.

The result of Mirika making love that one time would lead to Shenra’s twin brother and sister; Ralina (brother) and Reinka (sister). Mirika would tease Orina constantly that if Shenra was proof of their love, these two were definitely proof that he still felt desire for her.

This accident will have already happened by the time Shenra is created, as well as the birth of her twin brother and sister.


The Great Engagement and Races
Thoughts on the War: She greatly wonders why people are still fighting a war that was started thousands of years ago.

Thoughts on the Magescian Races:

Oblivionites: Confused. Because she lives in a city where the majority of the inhabitants are Orderites, she is given the first impression that they are "soulless" shells and are not worth the time of the Ordeite race. However her father has said that every living thing, "soulless" or not, should be respected and judged individually. Can something that feels feelings be so "soulless"?

Orderites: Mixed feelings. While all her dealings in life so far have been with Orderites and have been positive, she has seen how some Orderites mistreat an unsuspecting Oblivionite who wanders in their path. If we are so "righteous" and "pure", then why do we treat them like that?

Dovva: Unsure. The very few she has had contact with kept looking at her like she was going to eat them. To be fair, she thought they would eat her... or turn her into a toad. Magic is... Strange...

Hybrids: Strange beings. While her experiences with this race have been a mixed bag, she still wonders how a person could be two races at once and have happy parents who don't try to kill each other.

Khehora: Interesting, yet unsure. While she has only read about this race, and swore she has seen a Khehorian, she would like to meet a nice one to ask questions about how to fly. Though, she would not like to meet one who would like to eat little girls.

Dragons: Interesting, yet unsure. Again, while she has only read about them, she would love to see one! Though, would they like to see her?


Statistics: N/A

Future Plots
Love Life
She will meet a NPC Dovva boy and his family in her Apprentice stage, and through her Adept stage she will "fall in love" with him. When the time comes for me to punt him out of the picture, he will choose duty over her and marry a wealthy Dovva girl. Unknown to Shenra, this Dovva boy will have been toying with her, and trying to get her into bed, ((thankfully to myself and Shenra, she doesn't go...)) and was going to marry the Dovva girl anyway due to greed.

This will upset Shenra to the point of moving away from home and into the country, as well as developing a sense of mistrust of people outside her comfort zone when it comes to her feelings. During the time between adept and expert, she will have moved into the house that is next to Avani's family. Despite her resolutions, she would allow Avani to enter into her deepest heart, a place she thought no one outside her family could enter ever again. At this time in her life, she would meet another character who would know of the Dovva boy who broke her heart, and would tell her exactly what happened with him; that he married for money, and that she meant nothing to him but a prospective tumble.

While this will lead to more heartache and pain, this character would stay by her side and help her mend. Eventually I would like this character to become her love interest, and eventually her Lifemate.


Tinkering
Her love life aside, I would love to see her become an engineer. This would make her choice as a Tinker ideal, as she loves to build and make new things. Eventually, I would like her to become really good, and have other's take advice from her.
PostPosted: Sat Mar 15, 2014 2:49 pm


Apple Blossom19

Link to hair ref is not working!! I'll post more cirts after I finish reading XD

robot kitten

Tipsy Pirate


Apple Blossom19

Eloquent Exhibitionist

PostPosted: Sat Mar 15, 2014 2:52 pm


robot kitten
Apple Blossom19

Link to hair ref is not working!! I'll post more cirts after I finish reading XD
Huh works for me O 3 O *goes to get new pic*
PostPosted: Sat Mar 15, 2014 3:00 pm


robot kitten
Apple Blossom19

Link to hair ref is not working!! I'll post more cirts after I finish reading XD
Try the first hair link ^_^"

Apple Blossom19

Eloquent Exhibitionist


robot kitten

Tipsy Pirate

PostPosted: Sat Mar 15, 2014 3:03 pm


Now the first pic works! I can't see the other website's images but image shak works just fine~
Clothing:
Please provide just one set of clothes you want the artist to draw! Unless you wish the artist to be able to pick from the various outfits :3
The other clothing is good for expanding on her, adding to description of an existing character, but for quests it's best to tell the artist just one outfit :3

Personality:
This section is a little sparse. Can you expand and add a bit more detail please? So she's happy a lot and very friendly, and studious, what else?
Note: the first half says she wants to make friends, but the second half says she isn't very trusting.... These are slightly contradicting. If she's been hurt and isn't the most trusting of people, why would she go out of her way to smile and make friends?

She also seems to have mostly Pros, can you add in some details that are cons? Like anger issues, too naive, too trusting.. something? Everyone has a dark side to them :3

History:
Quote:
It was during an accident in the work room at this age that led her mother to acquire scars on her back while shielding her daughter. Shenra's mother then thought that her husband would never love her like he had before, however this changed when Shenra's father "convinced" her mother, the result of the "convincing" being Shenra's twin brother and sister, (xD), and about a year after that, her brother, and then a bout 2 years after that, her little sister.

The phrasing on this needs working and it needs to be expanded. What accident? The wording seems very choppy and a little confusing. Maybe split up the long long middle sentence and rephrase it to be less meandering and easier to understand?

How does Shenra feel about this event? Does she blame herself for her mother's scars? Any lasting trauma from it?

Quote:
During her years between 10 and 20 years old, she had met and fallen in love with a Dovva from a noble family. He said he had loved her and wished to marry her, and had strung her along for a while, it all coming down to duty and complying with an arraigned marriage.

Eventually I would like her to find out that this marriage, while arranged, the Dovva was just toying with her and actually wished the arranged marriage go through due to him being greedy and wanting the dowry of the woman he married

Would not happen I'm sorry! To an Orderite yes, but no interracial marriages would be sanctioned by society. As such, he'd get no dowry from her unless she snuck away with it....She can meet him yes, fall in love yes, but no arranged marriage would be allowed. She'd have to run away from society to do so. (yes Kadryn's family lets her marry the Obliv...but there won't be an official wedding.. just a small party with her family and a few friends. but Kadryn's going to get banished for that.. just gotta write up the rp when it gets discovered.)

You will need to rethink this event. Also, is this a plot or has it already happened?

Also, how old exactly is she? Apprentices are between the ages of 10-13!
PostPosted: Sat Mar 15, 2014 3:27 pm


robot kitten

Quote:
During her years between 10 and 20 years old, she had met and fallen in love with a Dovva from a noble family. He said he had loved her and wished to marry her, and had strung her along for a while, it all coming down to duty and complying with an arraigned marriage.

Eventually I would like her to find out that this marriage, while arranged, the Dovva was just toying with her and actually wished the arranged marriage go through due to him being greedy and wanting the dowry of the woman he married


Would not happen I'm sorry! To an Orderite yes, but no interracial marriages would be sanctioned by society. As such, he'd get no dowry from her unless she snuck away with it....She can meet him yes, fall in love yes, but no arranged marriage would be allowed. She'd have to run away from society to do so. (yes Kadryn's family lets her marry the Obliv...but there won't be an official wedding.. just a small party with her family and a few friends. but Kadryn's going to get banished for that.. just gotta write up the rp when it gets discovered.)
The arranged marriage would be between the dovva and another dovva ^^" Going to work on changes now ^^"

Apple Blossom19

Eloquent Exhibitionist


robot kitten

Tipsy Pirate

PostPosted: Sat Mar 15, 2014 3:38 pm


Apple Blossom19
The arranged marriage would be between the dovva and another dovva ^^" Going to work on changes now ^^"

So she's not getting married? The Dovaa is marrying someone else even though he's professed love for Shenra?
PostPosted: Sat Mar 15, 2014 4:01 pm


robot kitten
Apple Blossom19
The arranged marriage would be between the dovva and another dovva ^^" Going to work on changes now ^^"

So she's not getting married? The Dovaa is marrying someone else even though he's professed love for Shenra?
Yush. Very greedy b*****d. Think Hans from Frozen twisted

Apple Blossom19

Eloquent Exhibitionist


robot kitten

Tipsy Pirate

PostPosted: Sat Mar 15, 2014 6:51 pm


Apple Blossom19
Yush. Very greedy b*****d. Think Hans from Frozen twisted

In that case, you'll need to clarify in the background! The way it is written makes it sound like he's arranged to marry her. Um, still. Age of Apprentice is 10 to 13 so marriage is not happening for a few more years.... maybe this marriage is a future plot device and not background? If so, you'll need to put it in a different section like Future Plots and not in Background.
PostPosted: Sat Mar 15, 2014 7:19 pm


robot kitten
Apple Blossom19
Yush. Very greedy b*****d. Think Hans from Frozen twisted

In that case, you'll need to clarify in the background! The way it is written makes it sound like he's arranged to marry her. Um, still. Age of Apprentice is 10 to 13 so marriage is not happening for a few more years.... maybe this marriage is a future plot device and not background? If so, you'll need to put it in a different section like Future Plots and not in Background.


I was thinking they would meet in the apprentice stage, and then develop through her adept towards her age of 16-18 when he would be laying on the charm.

I am finding that I am going to work on her whole background now (am doing it atm) and put it into sections of her ages since I have it specific in my head. I need her young enough to "be in love" yet old enough to think he would marry her.

This is part of the whole NPC lover conundrum I am having with her. Do I want a NPC brother of the b*****d to come find her in her expert stage and hurt her more with the truth that his brother never really loved her, was trying to use her (basically trying to get her in the sack), and that he, the good brother all along was truly in love with her, (pointing out all along his brother was now miserable in his marriage [and a whole backstory to that])...


OR

2) Find someone with a playable character who would find her in her expert stage and hurt her more with the truth that previously said b*****d Dovva, had been trying to use her (basically trying to get her in the sack), and guide her through the hurt and pain to a relationship beyond that.

[EDIT:] I am not getting notifications from here so if I reply slowly it's Gaia's fault ^^"

Apple Blossom19

Eloquent Exhibitionist


robot kitten

Tipsy Pirate

PostPosted: Sun Mar 16, 2014 9:31 am


Apple Blossom19

Okay. So all this is plot and not happening for a while!

We do not need that in the quest! Please keep to past events only for background! Plots you can figure out after you've gotten her :3 Feel free to keep track and work it out, but not in the quest please~ It confused me when I read it, making me think that it'd already happened.

For the Quest, all we want to know is her personality, family, history. Stuff to get her started! Plots are very nice (we encourage them!) but they need their own little section.

Also: the thoughts on others: Your Ord should have thoughts on Oblivs at least! There are too many people who are skating by and saying; no real thoughts, they're very open minded.. which is fine.. just a bit boring after a bit. Wouldn't this sheltered gril be fed storied about the bad things Oblivs do/have done?

As a racial enemy, this Ord needs to have some thoughts on Oblivs! maybe she is a little upset that this war is still going on, and wants it to end... something to make her thoughts more unique than the generic "Oh, She'll get along with lots of people! Very open minded." that a lot of people are putting in.
(you aren't the only one I'm telling this to btw)
PostPosted: Sun Mar 16, 2014 3:23 pm


robot kitten
Okay. So all this is plot and not happening for a while!

We do not need that in the quest! Please keep to past events only for background! Plots you can figure out after you've gotten her :3 Feel free to keep track and work it out, but not in the quest please~ It confused me when I read it, making me think that it'd already happened.

For the Quest, all we want to know is her personality, family, history. Stuff to get her started! Plots are very nice (we encourage them!) but they need their own little section.

Ok! Will fix!

robot kitten
Also: the thoughts on others: Your Ord should have thoughts on Oblivs at least! There are too many people who are skating by and saying; no real thoughts, they're very open minded.. which is fine.. just a bit boring after a bit. Wouldn't this sheltered gril be fed storied about the bad things Oblivs do/have done?

As a racial enemy, this Ord needs to have some thoughts on Oblivs! maybe she is a little upset that this war is still going on, and wants it to end... something to make her thoughts more unique than the generic "Oh, She'll get along with lots of people! Very open minded." that a lot of people are putting in.
(you aren't the only one I'm telling this to btw)


No I totally get it, I've been seeing it too xD Personally, she wouldn't hate them, nor would she get along, just be curious about them before forming an opinion...... very hard to explain ^^"""" Growing up in the Ashen City she could find out more about them since it's a major port, but not have seen them till late in her life, perhaps her father could teach her about the oblivionites and while not pushing an agenda of hatred, just be careful when you are around them?

This section was on agenda for the rest of the day and perhaps tomorrow ^^"

Apple Blossom19

Eloquent Exhibitionist


Miss Chief aka Uke
Crew

Rainbow Fairy

PostPosted: Thu Mar 27, 2014 5:51 pm


Quote:
Her wings are very unique because of her mother and father's wings. Her mother has pastel, very light yellow wings with patterns of ribbons of white or a paler white than the yellow, while her father has very light blue wings. She was born with the yellow wings and patterns, but the bottom part is the same light blue of her father's. The white patterns her mother has go through both colorings. She is the only one of her parent's 5 children that has this unique coloring.


You used the word "unique" twice here, and I don't really see why you're calling this coloration unique. It's totally fine, world wise, and yes it may be unique within her family, but all kiiiiinds of birds have multiple colored wings, and I assume that on Serenia having multi-colored wings (when all kinds of different ords are all cross mating and breeding etc.) is not rare or unique at all. A totally normal (but pretty) thing.

Not...hardly a critique, but at this point that's all I noticed. Everything else looks perfectly fine to me. She sounds like a very cute girl. ^^
PostPosted: Fri Mar 28, 2014 2:32 pm


The Only Black Uke
Quote:
Her wings are very unique because of her mother and father's wings. Her mother has pastel, very light yellow wings with patterns of ribbons of white or a paler white than the yellow, while her father has very light blue wings. She was born with the yellow wings and patterns, but the bottom part is the same light blue of her father's. The white patterns her mother has go through both colorings. She is the only one of her parent's 5 children that has this unique coloring.


You used the word "unique" twice here, and I don't really see why you're calling this coloration unique. It's totally fine, world wise, and yes it may be unique within her family, but all kiiiiinds of birds have multiple colored wings, and I assume that on Serenia having multi-colored wings (when all kinds of different ords are all cross mating and breeding etc.) is not rare or unique at all. A totally normal (but pretty) thing.

Not...hardly a critique, but at this point that's all I noticed. Everything else looks perfectly fine to me. She sounds like a very cute girl. ^^
Apple wasn't sure what was considered rare or unique in Magesc ^^" (goes to change it) I might be adding bits and pieces to her personality as her muse stops hitting her head on a brickwall ^^"" She started talking a lot last night to the point where I couldn't get to sleep ^^""" (I swear I'm not nuts....)

Apple Blossom19

Eloquent Exhibitionist


Miss Chief aka Uke
Crew

Rainbow Fairy

PostPosted: Fri Mar 28, 2014 2:35 pm


Apple Blossom19
Haha, okey - well, as is she's fine with me at the moment, so as long as you don't change anything major, you have my approval. 3nodding
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