How long had it been since he'd left his family? It felt like years, but the truth was it had only been about a month. Still, Deva missed them dearly. And the ache only grew as he thought of them and could only see faces twisted with the sorrow of losing so many loved ones. The guilt of having failed them as a spiritual advisor in their time of need still haunted him. He still wasn't sure if leaving the herd was the best decision. He was no use to them the way he had been then, though. The way he was now. He felt even more lost, but perhaps that's to be expected when setting out on one's own. Couldn't expect to find your way immediately. Deva only wished he'd at least found someone to help out just a little bit by now. He'd only come across a handful of Soq at this point and, while seeing new faces was nice, they hadn't exactly been what he was looking for.
His thoughts were getting heavy. Too heavy. He a nearby tree, he clasped the trinket around his neck between his teeth and removed it. Hanging it from a low branch, Deva took a deep breath and stared into the clear glass. It had always been a sort of focus for him, something to help keep his thoughts calm and light in troubled times. And he was certainly feeling troubled at the moment. He was seriously questioning himself, starting to think that it really was a bad idea to have left the herd. The thought of returning to them was becoming more and more frequent as the days went on.
But he simply couldn't return to them. Especially not now. They needed a spiritual advisor, one completely confident in his faith, and that is how he intended to be when he finally came back to them. His faith might have been severely shaken, but it was not broken. This was merely a test, one he was determined to pass. In the end he would come out of this stronger than ever and be able to provide the support his family needed.
Deva took another deep breath, touched his nose to the glass, and exhaled to watch the surface fog up. Uncertainty still hung over him, but at least now he wasn't considering turning tail and running home any more. It was going to take a lot of hard work to get where he wanted to be. He knew that, and he was ready to do whatever it took. However, he couldn't do it alone...
