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 Posted: Sat Feb 01, 2014 6:35 pm
Nevada waited till Dylon left, and waited much longer...till almost midnight on the Island. She couldn't sleep, couldn't close her eye long enough without returning to the break up moment.
She wanted comfort but not Dylon's sympathy, She wanted someone who was going through the same thing, who felt like she did.
She wanted to talk to Otto, and though she felt like she never wanted him to see the ugly...he had said he would be there for her...
Bare feet padded through the deus hall, drawing her blanket a little tighter to whip off the cold. Lack of socks, lack of real pajama's (she had short shorts and a tank top) made her shiver just a little. She made it to Otto's door and rapped gently.
"Otto?"
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Posted: Sat Feb 01, 2014 6:39 pm
Luckily, Otto hadn't gone to sleep yet.
The teen was sprawled on the couch in his pj pants, reading a book. Re-reading the Harry Potter series, since two people had gotten him the full series the Christmas before last. The tap at the door broke his train of thought. Upon hearing Nevada's voice, he immediatly abandoned the book.
"C'mon in." He called out, turning to look over the back of the couch.
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Posted: Sat Feb 01, 2014 6:51 pm
She slipped in, shutting the door behind her and smiled, glad that he was awake.
"Hey sorry to bother you...I know I stole you earlier today too..." She snuck on to the couch, sitting next to him and letting the blanket drop. "Can....we..." She rubbed her face and sighed.
"Do you mind if I vent to you Otto?"
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Posted: Sat Feb 01, 2014 6:58 pm
"It's fine. No big deal." He played it off with a shrug watching as she sat next to him. Maybe she was having trouble sleeping. Maybe she needed his pillow pile again.
Her tone seemed to drop to something more serious, emotional. In need. "I don't mind. What's up?" He insisted, his full attention on her. He wanted to be there for her. His friends never seemed to confide in him. It was always them who let him do the venting. He wanted nothing more than to give back somehow.
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Posted: Sat Feb 01, 2014 7:15 pm
"You say that, but pretty soon you'll get tired of me." She teased and made herself comfortable. "Um...I was scared to tell you these things..." she fidgeted on the couch, lacing her hands together...
"Otto..." She faced him now, "I really messed up....and I drove someone a lot of people care about away because of my own fear." She bit her lip, "And then when I broke up with Chelsea...It was good...I shot someone because...he kept pushing my buttons."
"I don't know what's going on with me anymore, I'm not in control, I'm losing myself and people I care about." Chelsea and her weren't compatible and that was okay, it was just the words the girl said that made it hurt. "I want so much....that I'm destroying everything else."
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Posted: Sat Feb 01, 2014 7:22 pm
"I'll only get tired of you if it's all you ever do." He said, honestly. He'd never bull s**t such a thing, especially with Nevada.
His brows furrowed, unsure of what the pieces she was giving him meant. Clippits of a situation he wasn't familiar with. Shot someone? Messed up? Otto's gaze dropped for a moment, trying to process the small amount of information. "Back up a bit. So you broke up with Chelsea, but what went wrong after that?" Why was she driving people away? "What are you afraid of? Why did you shoot someone? I mean, that ain't really uncommon here..." Rep was a large example of it.
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Posted: Sat Feb 01, 2014 8:04 pm
"Well lucky me~" She laughed, "I don't plan on dragging you into strip poker all the time."
The guilt started to churn and churn and had butterflies around, spinning her into just a trip of feels.
She started with the first question.
'We were in the life labs and Chelsea and I got in a fight and it just...It got worse because Finn and Jack were there and they are terrible and Jack is Stormy's ex boyfriend and he has this horrible thing of leverage of her and just... he keeps using her against me. So I shot his hand." She breathed in, "And Chelsea just told me that I trying to make her do something she can't do, that I puppet her." and her feelings. "But...The person I drove away was before this and now I'm scared she'll come back for Stormy or I and it's just..."
She dropped her head in her hands. "Otto, I'm so scared. I'm scared and I'm hurt and I wish I could stop feeling things."
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Posted: Sat Feb 01, 2014 8:23 pm
It sounded like a s**t storm. Otto couldn't protect her from anyone on the island. All he could do was listen. Listen but not solve. It was frustrating. "Sounds like a ********> He added, sitting close to her just to let her know he was there for her.
He couldn't tell her it was wrong not to feel. he often felt the way she did. Wishing he could block it off and stop from hurting. It wasn't okay. He wasn't about to lie and say something as empty as 'it's going to be okay'.
He rubbed her back instead. "I'm sorry." Was all he could offer. "Is there anything I can do for you?" Probably not. But, he had to offer something. "Even if it's just being an ear to vent to some more.."
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Posted: Sat Feb 01, 2014 8:35 pm
"Otto...." She looked up from her hands, "I knew about Aria being a traitor." She said in a hushed voice. "I knew and I was the one that told...." She reached over, "I thought I was protecting Stormy...and myself. We got mixed up in something bad, something terrible."
"And Aria ransacked our room...took our lockpicks but ransacked it. What if Stormy had been there? Or I? She knows it was either one of us, and I am the only one who did."
She kept her voice hushed around him, "So I've been laying low, I've been off the grid. I've been staying away from leaving the Island and pretty soon, I'll be up for promotion and I won't be safe." She took his hands in hers, "I won't be safe if I do, but it's not me I'm worried about anymore. It's Stormy."
She shook her head. "And to top the cherry off, I realized that I suck at love. But maybe it's better that way you know? Then I won't have someone else to worry about."
And another realization hit. She had just told Otto.
"No...Oh no, Otto..." She squeezed her eyes, "Oh god, I told you, They'll know...you won't be safe either." She bumped her fist to her forehead. "I don't want to lose you either..."
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Posted: Sat Feb 01, 2014 8:41 pm
She knew about Aria before it happened. She was why she'd gotten found out? Otto listened, his heart beating quicker with all this new and scary information. It was so bad that Aria might even be after her life, and the life of her friend. Stormy was a sweet girl, as far as he'd seen of her. In his eyes, neither of them deserved to die. No one ever did.
Nevada wasn't safe. She could be ripped away from him someday soon. Just like Clerise. just like Sam.
"Nevada..." Otto furrowed his brows as he spoke sternly. "If you're not safe, why would I wanna be? I don't need you to protect me. I wanna help." He squeezed her hands in his, blue eyes staring into her eye without looking away.
"I don't wanna lose you either, you know? I won't let anyone take you away from me, too."
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Posted: Sat Feb 01, 2014 8:53 pm
"Because I need you to be safe Otto." She shook her head, "You aren't part of mist, and now I've needlessly involved you in this!" She got up and started pacing. "I'm such a idiot. I'm going to get myself killed...or worse, everyone else I love."
She reached over and took his face in her hands, "Otto, I want....I need you to..." She shook her head, "Don't tell anyone about this, don't tell another person. Especially your boss. Don't tell Caelius...."
Resting her forehead against his, she breathed in. "If it comes down to it, and if you are there. I need you to take Stormy and yourself and go." She huffed, "Don't argue. Otto I..." She was just reeling from feelings, bring it back in. No more. No more or they'll just rip it all away.
"Otto, I'm heartbroken and scared...if anyone comes at you, tell them I was distressed about Chelsea."
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Posted: Sat Feb 01, 2014 9:03 pm
This couldn't be happening. One by one, people he knew or cared for were going to be taken away. He needed his friends. He'd tried to tell himself he could avoid them, live without them or push them away. But he'd come to need them like he needed to breathe. He couldn't lose her too. It was like he was being treated to a glimpse of what was to come, and he could do nothing to stop it.
He stared unblinking as she held his face, hurt tore into his gaze. As if he'd tell Caelius. Talking to him about anything earned him nothing but suffering.
"I can't promise that! I'm not gunna let anyone do anything to you. I can't just let that s**t happen." He insisted, his voice cracking slightly with restrained emotion. "Not to Stormy, not to you!" He couldn't say he had such power. He had little power. But he didn't want to let it slide this way. He would not let it be. He wouldn't give up.
"Nevada.." He gritted his teeth. What could he do? He couldn't let this happen. Not if he had the power to prevent it. Why couldn't this have been a simple conversation of broken hearts or island drama? Why'd it have to come to this? "I can't promise I'll just let you go."
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Posted: Sat Feb 01, 2014 9:15 pm
"You can't...For me..." She shook him now. "Okay not for me...Not for me." She calmed down, "Just don't do anything for me. This hole was one I dug myself, I can't...."
She had wanted it to be simple, just a fallout of feelings of a broken heart to another...but he was the first person she vented too, the first one to know how scared she actually was.
"I want you to promise not to do anything if you do have to let go." She nodded, "You have people here, more then me Otto. Eva and Ami, friends that matter to you."
"Same with Stormy...She has Tuck and Evan and Gale and Sherry and Abbi and...so many others."
She exhaled again, "I didn't want this to happen. I shouldn't have come and told you. I was just going to tell you that I was upset about Chelsea and look at it..." A mess. "Now you're involved in my ********>
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Posted: Sat Feb 01, 2014 9:22 pm
Nevada wanted assurance that he and Stormy would be safe. She wanted security. He knew. He knew, but to let that go for her to have that... It was hard. It hurt. "I... I'll do everything I can, okay? I'll try and stay safe. I'll try and keep Stormy safe." But he made no promise to let her go. He would never promise that.
"I dont care if you accidentally got me involved! Involve me! You are not alone, Nevada. I won't let you fight alone. If you're scared, just come to me anyway!" He raised his coice, his own hands gripping Nevada's shoulders. "I'm glad you confided in me. Why would you let it all fall on you? Whether it was your own ******** up or not. You ******** up, messed up, did something wrong. Was it supposed to surprise me that you're ******** human? Stop saying I have more people who I care about. Numbers mean s**t to me!"
"You matter too! You matter just as much!"
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Posted: Sat Feb 01, 2014 9:41 pm
"Thank you..." She crumbled down on the couch again, tension leaving from her legs. "Thank you...."
"I shouldn't Otto, Otto please...." She hugged him tightly, wrapping arms around him. "I keep hearing that, I keep hearing it from you and Dylon and Stormy. I'm so scared of my humanity, of all the things it does. A constant failure...."
She just held on to him, not sure what else to say. She could only hug him so tight, remember that feeling for so long. Storms thrashed outside, but it was the ones inside that worried her the most.
"I...." She whispered, feeling her eyes well up with tears..."I should go Otto." She started to pull away, pull into herself again. "I should go back to my room, I've already dragged you this far." her hand rested on his cheek, "Stay safe okay?"
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