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 Posted: Tue Jan 28, 2014 2:06 pm
Otto hadn't seen Eva since it happened. The emotions had died down, the fog in his head lifting to reveal clear thoughts. His feelings for Eva, what he'd meant to say to her, and his overall motivations. He needed to mend the broken pieces he'd left of his relationship with Eva, no matter what it was now.
The teen knocked on her door, rubbing his neck after as he waited for her to answer. Would she answer? Or would she hide. Maybe yell. If she didn't want to talk to him, he'd understand.
He just hoped she'd give him a chance.
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Posted: Tue Jan 28, 2014 2:51 pm
By this point, the anxiety that the person knocking at her door was either Otto or Nevada had gradually died down. Between Lex, Maebe, and others, she had ended up tensing up unnecessarily the last three times she had answered the door. That being said, that wasn’t to say that she didn’t want to see or speak to Otto. In addition to the wave of relief that washed over her whenever she didn’t find the blond boy behind the door, there was also a deep-set disappointment as well. She knew that she could make the first move and knock on his door instead, but…
…But she was kind of scared. It kind of made her feel ashamed to admit it—how could she ever be frightened to speak to Otto?—but their last encounter had left her uncomfortable and uncertain with herself. It wasn’t the blond’s fault, but was more of her fault for having taken this long to see her own faults.
In either case, upon hearing the knock, Eva promptly dropped the book that she had been leafing through in favour of greeting her guest. Pulling the door open, a small, weak smile touched her lips--
---Only to be promptly wiped away when she realized who was standing there. Breath catching in her throat, she resisted her first instinct—which was to slowly shut the door and skitter back to her bed—and instead she…stared. Standing there, she blinked up with wide eyes, frozen and mute.
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Posted: Tue Jan 28, 2014 2:56 pm
So far so good. She didn't slam a door in his face. One worry out the door. Otto breathed in, nodding in greeting. "Hey, Eva." The name seemed foreign to his lips. It didn't hold the meaning it once did. It felt odd, and it made him a little scared. "Look, I..." He averted his gaze, still rubbing his neck out of nervous habit. "I was.. really mean. The things I said. And I wanted to say sorry for not.. saying them in a more.. well.. civil way." Because while his words meant to hurt, they were also his honest feelings, for the most part. "Do you wanna talk?" For this he returned eye contact, albeit sheepishly.
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Posted: Tue Jan 28, 2014 3:09 pm
Shifting her weight from one foot to the other, she made an effort to look at him while he spoke, but found that her gaze kept nervously flickering away despite her best attempts. She managed to utter a tiny, “hi Otto” in response to his initial greeting (after a bit of struggle), but other than that, she was completely mute. He was here, apologizing to her for the way their confrontment had gone down, and all she could do was nod slowly. She wanted to apologize too—honestly, yelling hadn’t been her smartest idea in the least—but she was still having trouble finding her voie.
Gods, what was wrong with her?
It wasn’t until he asked her if she wanted to talk did she suddenly stiffen, her head snapping up. Blinking at him, she finally met his eyes unwaveringly, and she let out a slow breath. ”Yeah,” She murmured, pulling her door open further, ”Yeah, that’d be nice. Did you want to come in and chat, or…?”
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Posted: Tue Jan 28, 2014 3:25 pm
Otto nodded, "Yeah, I'll come in." He slipped past her, heading for her desk. There, he simply leaned against it. He didn't feel comfortable in this room anymore. He barely felt comfortable talking to her either. It simply needed to be done. His brows furrowed, his gaze cast to the floor. He wasn't sure what it was he wanted to get across to her. Just that avoiding her was not the best method to deal with her anymore. He finally lifted his eyes up to meet Eva, wondering if she had anything to say to him too. She hadn't tried to talk first, after all. Maybe she had nothing to say. Maybe she was scared of him. He just didn't know. "S-so uhm... about.. us." He started awkwardly, his fingers fidgeting with the sleeves of his shirt. "I figured it's not cool to keep avoiding each other. I don't like leaving things to hang in the air." Maybe Eva did. "I like you a lot.." More than a lot, "But I think.. ultimately what made me mad, was that I wanted something different from our relationship. And since it never seemed to grow where I wanted it to, I was left feeling.. insecure. And jealous. And angry. Sure you were there, but you never seemed close, or real... Like.... admiring an idol I could never actually meet.
So.. Eva, it wasn't your fault. None of it was. We just.. wanted different things, I think." He didn't blame her for his own misconceptions. His own feelings and expectations. Eva was Eva. He'd never change it. He didn't want to. He was in love with a star in the sky, beautiful but untouchable. Something he'd see but never understand. "I.. wanted someone I could see more often. Someone that made me feel special. I know it's.." He flushed red, "..dumb. And selfish. I just.. felt like I was the only one in love."
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Posted: Tue Jan 28, 2014 6:57 pm
Shutting the door behind them, the girl hesitated for a moment before following him further into the room and turning to face him. Hands behind her back, she fidgeted with her fingers anxiously, this time managing to keep her eyes on the boy as he begun to speak. She didn't say anything--she just listened, letting everything that he said sink in and taking it all into careful consideration.
Although she had eventually come to realize that it wasn't entirely all of her fault, hearing it from Otto made her bottom lip tremble, her heart squeezing in her chest. Pressing her lips into a thin line to control herself, she forced herself to take quiet, deep breaths in order to steady herself. Somehow, his words helped lift her spirits, if only a little.
Hearing him speak from the heart made her chest ache in turn, and she hung her head upon feeling the shame of having made him felt that way. However, just as she opened her mouth to say something, she was suddenly caught off guard when he put himself down. Head snapping up, she took a tiny step forward.
"No, She told him suddenly, her voice surprisingly forceful. As she continued, however, it softened slightly. "No Otto, don't say that--you're neither dumb nor selfish. You're a great guy, and I promise you that I'm not just saying that. Anyone would be lucky to date you, I just..." Lifting a hand, she absently brushed back her hair, trying not to shrink nervously beneath his gaze.
"You knew, right? That you were my first boyfriend? It was happy and excited to finally date for the first time, but I was so...nervous too. I didn't know how to act, so I was kind of just...content in effectively letting you do everything, which obviously isn't what a relationship is supposed to be." At least now, for once, she was finally spilling her guts and telling her about her feelings instead of keeping them bottled up inside. "I was happy to spend that bit of time with you--to see you, to chat--but I never knew how you were feeling, and I'm so sorry for that. I should have noticed."
Even if it had upset her, her encounter with Nevada had given her a lot of insight. Had Otto asked her to talk days ago, she probably wouldn't have been ready, but now? Now she had had plenty of time to sort out her feelings and to think.
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Posted: Tue Jan 28, 2014 7:12 pm
He looked up, waiting for her to elaborate. He hadn't known that he was her first boyfriend. Whether that made a difference, he wasn't sure. But she'd managed to explain herself, admitting her own misconceptions in the relationship. She'd assumed he'd initiate everything on his own. She thought wrong.
"I guess I could have said something, but.." He shrugged. "I don't think there's a list of things expected of someone when dating. It's just.. something you feel. If it feels like you have to think about it or force it, then it's probably not what you really want." His voice and tone were calm, for once. He wasn't on the edge of emotion like he had been before. He patiently spoke with his heart, and his true feelings.
"I still wanna spend more time with you, but this time.. I think it should be as friends again." He admitted with some reservation, "I don't want you to go away, but if I go out with someone again.. I'd need them to be there more often, and I don't wanna make you run to me every time I want you nearby. You should live the way that makes you happy and comfortable."
He smiled sheepishly and rubbed his head. "I get lonely a lot more often than I like to admit. I never have the balls to ask for help when I need it. That's why I said I was needy, back then. I want too much from someone I'm dating. My first relationship ended in disaster because of it. I didn't wanna pester you and end up the same way. Just... seeing you once in a while makes me happy. As long as we're still friends, It'll be okay."
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Posted: Tue Jan 28, 2014 7:55 pm
Eva's lips quirked upwards ever so slightly, and she ducked her head. "Yeah. It...it was definitely something that I probably should have just known. I guess I just wasn't on the same wavelength." It had been inconsiderate and rather blind of her not to have seen it, that much she had to admit.
She perked up at the mention of friends, and had to pause in order to swallow the lump that had risen in her throat. She felt...relieved, relieved that she didn't have to lose him altogether. Eagerly, she nodded her head in agreement, shoulders hunching. "I was scared that you wouldn't even want to be friends with me anymore," Eva admitted, her voice hushed, "I mean, I would have understood, but I...don't think I can really properly express how glad I am that you don't hate me."
She wrung her hands together, only for her smile to grow slightly at his confession. "Oh, Otto. As I see it, you definitely deserve the best--someone sweet who will make you feel as special as you make them feel. I'm really sorry that I wasn't right for that but..." Eva tentatively held a hand out to him, "I'd be really happy to still have you in my life."
He meant more to her than she could really admit. Perhaps their romantic relationship hadn't quite worked out, but there was no doubt that Otto was incredibly near and dear to her heart, and always would be--of that, Eva was certain.
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Posted: Tue Jan 28, 2014 8:05 pm
Otto shook his head, looking taken aback, "I don't hate you, Eva." He assured her just in case. He'd felt terrible and dark feelings during the fight. Made himself believe in poisonous feelings that had corrupted his heart. But ultimately, he didn't hate her. She was so sweet. As she always was. His heart fluttered, hearing her tell him he deserved the best. Sometimes he really wondered. He let so many negative people let him believe otherwise. His entire life threw people at him who wanted him to feel like dirt. It was so suffocating he often felt starved for air. Yet here, he had a select few who made a point to make sure he knew better. Small gasps of air in a quickly filling tank of water he was trapped in. He looked at the hand, and then to Eva. A shy smile crossed his lips, and he took the hand firmly in his own. "Me too."His smile faded once more, "Eva.. I know you keep a lot of yourself hidden. I don't know if it's because you wanna put up a strong front for your friends but... if you ever feel down, or weak.. just talk to me, okay? Don't hide anymore."
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Posted: Wed Jan 29, 2014 12:53 am
Giving his hand a gentle squeeze, she smiled--the most genuine one that she had worn in a long time. In the end, Wilson had been right when he said that they'd work things out on their own...but that being said, it was Wilson. In her mind, her dear cousin was rarely, if ever, incorrect--she had just been too distressed at the time to really believe it.
Although she figured their friendship wouldn't continue off right from the get-go from where they had left it--there would probably be an air of awkwardness around them for a little bit--but the fact that they would still be close in a different way lifted some of the worries that had been weighing down her chest.
She found her own smile fading upon hearing the boy's words, but then it returned, soft and vaguely embarrassed. "I will, I promise. I've definitely learned some things from this experience." Lifting a hand she reached out to ruffle his hair, "You come talk to me too if you just need some dumb, Eva-brand cheering up, y'hear...Puppy?"
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Posted: Wed Jan 29, 2014 7:45 am
Otto smirked, nodding his head. The nickname was back. "Yeah, I will. It'll probably be as hard for me as it is for you." Therefore if he did it, she would be obligated to as well. He hoped. Maybe there would be more give and take this time around. It seemed like neither of them enjoyed sharing too much when it came to feelings. All in all, the deed was now done. It hadn't been easy, but a weight was lifted. He'd patched it up with Eva. He squeezed her hand once more, before letting her go. "That's all I came to do, so.. unless you need anything, I'm getting back to work."
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Posted: Wed Jan 29, 2014 12:05 pm
She felt better—a lot better—and she hoped that this reconciliation had lessened any stress that Otto had been feeling as well. Releasing his hand as his fingers slipped away from hers, she grinned sheepishly and shook her head.
”I think I’m good for now. I should probably go get to working on my duties myself.” Laughing nervously, she glanced to the side—she had kind of been procrastinating today—but Otto’s visit had prompted her to finally get up and get her butt into gear. Reaching to the side, she grabbed her coat, shrugging it on before turning to glance at the blond from over her shoulder. ”Hey, Puppy, thanks for visiting. I probably would have dropped by myself in the next few days if you hadn’t, but…I’m glad that we could talk sooner than later.”
And then, as she made her way toward the door, she promptly pressed her palms against the boy’s back and began to push him out. ”Anyways, time for work! Get out of here and go do your huntely duties, Puppy—I have some things I need to take care of too, so shoo shoo.”
Her voice was teasing, though it did betray a panicked undertone of “holy s**t I have so much to do why didn’t I start sooner” in it.
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Posted: Wed Jan 29, 2014 12:28 pm
Just to be a brat, Otto walked slowly out the door, pressing his back against her hands to make himself heavier. "No..." He grumbled immaturely.
Eventually he really did leave.
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