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 Posted: Sun Jan 19, 2014 7:57 pm
It was briefly after the meeting, and Nevada was free from the duties of best friend that had the one eyed girl making her way to the cafeteria for food and drinks. Though the snacks had been good, they weren't filling and burned away easily.
A quick turn into the cafeteria and she was met with the one person on the Island...(besides Jack and Finn) that she was not pleased to see. Eva, with her pretty form and gentle smile and ugh...It just kind of upset her to see the girl after consoling Otto all night last night.
She tried to pointedly ignore Eva. Even if the girl said hello.
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Posted: Sun Jan 19, 2014 9:00 pm
Eva wasn't sure if she was getting better so to speak, but her mind was definitely getting clearer at least. Although she was still rather subdued considering her usual nature, she wasn't the crying, feeling-sorry-for-herself mess that she had been when Wilson had found her that day. She was still upset for obvious reasons, but had come to at least accept that moping wasn't doing anyone any good.
And so, when she found herself running into Nevada that day, she offered the other woman a faint smile instead of ducking away as she would have done otherwise. It only seemed polite, after all.
"Hello, Nevada," She greeted quietly, though she noted that the other hunter wasn't really even looking at her, "Um...how are you...?"
Eva figured they'd just have a short, quick conversation and then go their separate ways. She was sure that Nevada had things to do, and Eva wanted to go find Saya.
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Posted: Sun Jan 19, 2014 9:06 pm
Nevada hissed under her breath as Eva attempted talking to her...deciding pointedly that she was going to just ignore and walk out...Which ended up a awkward silence of her gathering food items as quickly as she could. Don't get upset, it wasn't worth it. It wasn't like Eva was the end of Otto's life but...the way the boy acted now, the anger just seemed to grow.
Instead, she slammed them down on the counter closest to her, whirling to look at Eva.
"What...Gives you the right?" She started, "What gives you the goddamn right to treat Otto the way you have?" She lifted her chin. "I spent my whole day yesterday consoling one of my closest friends, which from what I hear, is more then you can do in a whole year of being his girlfriend...." She threw her hands on her hips and glared at Eva with one green eye.
"Tell me Eva, How come I can dedicate time to Otto and you can't?"
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Posted: Sun Jan 19, 2014 9:23 pm
This was not what Eva had been expecting.
Her eyes went round, her expression stricken as the other girl abruptly began to confront her. Gaze flickering to the side, she noticed that a few people in the cafeteria had glanced in their direction in surprise and interest, eager at this sudden bout of action in their otherwise boring and monotonous day.
Eva ducked her head, looking faintly ashamed by all the attention before letting her gaze flicker back to Nevada. "Look, I don't...I don't know what to say," She said in a hushed voice, clearly uncomfortable as she wrapped her arms around herself, "I know that I was wrong--I was blind and I hurt him without realizing it until it was too late. I apologized, I acknowledged it, and I--"
She glanced to the side again, her fingers grasping at her upper arms. "...Can we talk about this somewhere else?"
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Posted: Sun Jan 19, 2014 9:34 pm
Nevada would've felt bad, she should've felt bad for calling the girl out in front of people, in a public place. But in truth, she didn't care at all. She just remembered looking at Otto, who was so depressed...and so self defeating.
All because of this girl.
"It's good that you can be so selfless that you can admit that your wrong. It's so nice of you to realize that not everything is solved by smiles." She felt her voice raise a little, sarcasm with every word. "If only apologies made the world go around, we'd be spinning this planet into the next millenium."
The demand (which it felt like a demand to Nevada and not a request) bristled her already fast temper, lifting her chin. "Sure, Let me go for your convenience. Since you're so used to being waited on hand and foot, what's one more for little Miss princess Eva hmm?" She turned on her heel, choosing instead to enter the kitchen where only a couple of volunteers were. Thankfully they were in the midst of cleaning up and she levelled a glare so hard at them that they scurried out.
She turned to Eva gain and gave her the worst kind of smile. Cold and hard. "Give me a reason Eva, to allow you the opportunity to even talk to Otto again after what you've done hmmm? Because as I remember, I stepped aside after confessing to him and wished you guys a good relationship. If I had known he'd been wasted on you, I'd go back in time and slap myself."
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Posted: Sun Jan 19, 2014 10:01 pm
The hostility in her voice made Eva flinch, her mouth opening and closing wordlessly as she struggled to find something to say. In her mind, Chara had begun to bristle, asking--or rather, ordering--that Eva walk away from that conversation right now, worried about how it'd affect her partner when her mind was already in a rather fragile state. Chara could tell that with each sarcastic word from the other girl, that carefully and barely covered-up wound was beginning to unravel again.
However, instead of listening, the woman found herself slowly following Nevada into the kitchen. Once the room was hastily evacuated by the poor volunteers, Eva braced herself as the hunter turned back to her.
She refused to meet her gaze, feeling that rush of guilt bubbling up in her chest at the reminder that Nevada had stepped aside for her. Would Otto have been happier had he ended up with Nevada isn't of her? As with any relationship, there was no telling whether it would have worked out, but...at the very least, he probably wouldn't have been ignored.
Eva took a deep, shaky breath to control herself, and then let it all out.
Her expression suddenly smoothed out, becoming unreadable as she finally lifted her gaze. "You're right--apologies don't mean a lot, but they're better than nothing. What do you want me to say, Nevada? That I was horrible? That I deserve to go to hell for hurting him? Because I can and will say such things, but ultimately, those don't end up making things any better either."
Despite the fact that her words must have been fueled by frustration and perhaps anger, Eva's tone was completely subdued, those cheerful blue eyes uncharacteristically dull. "I know you're here because you care about deeply about Otto and he's your friend, but with all due respect, this doesn't involve you right now." She told her flatly, "Whether I talk to Otto again is ultimately up to both of us. If he doesn't want to talk to me again, that's up to him, not anyone else." As it was, she wasn't so sure that she was ready to run into him anytime soon either.
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Posted: Sun Jan 19, 2014 10:15 pm
"Yes, You want honesty? I want you to hurt, and worry and stop ******** smile because it's bordering creepy." Nevada spat back out, "I want you to remember, and think about how you act to other people...and how you're suppose to be with the ones you care about like Otto. You're like a robot...You don't have anything besides happy to run on. Honestly? This is the first time I've seen you anything more then some joy infused hunter." She pointed a finger at Eva and gestured her hand down and around. "I want your apologies to shove off, because coming from you, I feel like they mean nothing. It's just convenient for you to say it because it's all you can say. I don't think you have any feelings underneath all that bundle of Eva Joy."
She snorted, the bite in her words sharpening even more. "I don't think you get it do you? Out of everyone on the Island, I've talked to Otto the most. I know him, He knows me. I trust him with things about me that only few others know. Otto was my first love, and one of my best friends. So yeah, It does involve me, It involves me more then you'd like to admit." She reached over and grabbed Eva by the collar of her shirt, "Do you know what I have to convince Otto of? That he's a good guy! That he matters! That he deserves happiness on this s**t hole of a island and the one person who was suppose to give it to him can't treat him any differently then she does anyone else!!"
"I had to tell Otto of his good qualities, of his bad. I had to tell him that it was YOU that deserved HIM. YOU, who have known him longer, who has been at his side forever.YOU, Not the other way around, are not the one he deserves....because he deserves so much better."
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Posted: Sun Jan 19, 2014 10:51 pm
In her head, Eva was slowly counting to ten, trying her best to control herself--not because she was afraid of going off on Nevada, but she was afraid that she'd crumble and cry in front of the other woman...and for some reason, she found that that was the absolute last thing that she wanted to do right now. Don't feel, She told herself, slowly letting her hands drop to her sides, Until you leave...until you get away--
Nevada's words almost startled a laugh out of her, at--what Eva personally found--the sheer absurdity that she hadn't been hurt. It wasn't even just the fact that Otto had yelled at her that had caused her so much pain, but the knowledge that she had done so much damage to him in turn. Thinking that it'd do little good saying such though, she simply met the other girl's gaze evenly, her voice curt. "Fine. Consider my apologies shoved off, though I'm not sure what that accomplishes either."
She was getting angry, but the anger burned beneath a cold exterior that refused to give. Even as Nevada grasped her collar, her expression remained impassive despite the fact that inside, she was anything but. The thought of Otto thinking that he didn't deserve happiness or that he wasn't worthy of her made her heart crack, and for a moment, her composure wavered. She wanted to wrench herself free, to escape to her room and close herself off again...but then that small part of her mind reminded her that isolating herself had been part of the cause of this whole situation in the first place.
"While I still don't think this involves you--not any more than it involves my own friends, even if one of them is family--you're right. You are right." She said this simply, her voice completely calm. "He does deserve better than me, and I don't deserve him. He's too good, too sweet."
And then her expression hardened, a hint of that barely concealed fury seeping into her otherwise cold voice. "Nevada, I still don't know what you want from me right now. It's like you want me to see something, but all you're telling me are things that I already know. You can believe that I'm unfeeling all you want, but just because I don't let you see it doesn't mean that I'm not hurting. It doesn't even matter if you believe that or not, because it ultimately doesn't change the truth of things."
Reaching up, she grasped the hand that was clutching at her collar, fingers digging between the ones that held at the fabric. "If you're trying to vent at me, then go right ahead if it makes you feel better. Otherwise, I don't know what you're trying to accomplish here."
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Posted: Sun Jan 19, 2014 11:06 pm
Unlike Eva, Nevada didn't count to ten. She was straight forward, straight to the point. She didn't want to hold back, she was tired of being sensitive to other peoples feelings, of watching her friends...and herself get hurt constantly when people couldn't see their own selfishness.
"It's a start in the road of feeling more then happiness, in the road to being a ******** human being Eva. Who geniunely cares about others, not that stupid motherly s**t or sisterly s**t. Someone who see's more for people then just what you want to see."
Nevada grinned, watching that anger bubble underneath Eva's exterior. Good. Finally. "I want you to stop apologizing and FIGHT. Because when you sit there and take it like a kicked puppy, it makes me angrier, because you can't even defend yourself. Otto isn't perfect, you have to have things that you're upset at him about. This wake up call isn't just for you, it's for Otto too. He deserves someone better, because he deserves someone who is going to be honest with him 100%. Not ******** sugar coat the words or not be there."
"I want you to see how long you've been lying to yourself. Everything's going to be alright Eva..." She mocked, "If you smile and pretend it doesn't bother you. Everything's going to be alright if I take all the blame, because it's easier that way. I know what I've done wrong, because all I think about is myself in this." She lifted her head.
"Where were you Eva, when it was Otto's birthday? Where were you, when we barely survived an attack in the desert? Where were you when the island had to fight it's own to survive? Where were you when it was a lull day and we had free time to spend with someone? I spent my days sitting with Otto, talking about stupid s**t. Eating candy till we were sick. I was there for his birthday after our shitty mission. I was there last night when we went to a meeting about sensitivity."
She clenched at Eva's collar. "For a whole year Eva, you were suppose to be the closest person to Otto. Do you even know him at all? Do you know what he likes? Have you seen him cry? Been there to comfort him for his nightmares? Laughed and played with him? Have you guys done more then kiss? Been intimate? What was your relationship to you?"
She let go...
"Do you even know any of your friends like that?"
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Posted: Sun Jan 19, 2014 11:52 pm
That hit her hard, because Nevada was obviously right. It was the same thing that Otto had said--that she never told him anything, that it seemed like she never trusted him enough to spill her guts. In hindsight, how hard could it have been to reveal her insecurities to him? That as much as she cared about him, she was genuinely nervous about making the first move in anything in their relationship because he was her first boyfriend? That she was scared of doing something wrong? And how lost and out of place she had felt upon arriving back from her mission, only to find that there was a sea of new faces?
But of course, hindsight was 20/20 for all involved.
The hand that wasn't gripping Nevada's had balled into a fist, her nails biting into the fleshy part of her palm. "I didn't take the blame because I thought it was 'easier', I took the blame because I thought that it was true. If you think there's something that isn't my fault in this whole thing beyond the fact that Otto was nothing but a loyal boyfriend the whole time--I suppose that could have been his sole mistake--then by all means, enlighten me."
She flinched at the mention of Otto's birthday, and even though she opened her mouth to respond, she found herself biting it back. I was at the outpost on a mission, She wanted to snap. That stupid goddamn mission. But even she found that excuse to be weak. Maybe, just maybe, if she really tried, she could have gotten out of it. Shortened it. At the very least, asked to be let off for that one day so that she could visit her boyfriend on his birthday.
"I know Otto," She said firmly, "We've known each other since we woke up in this hell. I know what he likes, I've comforted him, I've seen him when he's down--but you obviously know the answer to the rest of your questions."
The girl smiled bitterly as she was let go, dropping her own hand in the process. "And yeah, yeah I'm pretty sure I do, believe it or not...but that's just the thing, isn't it? Somehow, just somehow I can be a pretty decent friend, but anything beyond that just makes me shut down."
Stepping back, she straightened her shirt before lifting her gaze back to Nevada, her voice growing quiet but no less tight. "Are you done? You said your piece, and I've listened, so thank you--and I'm not saying that sarcastically, in case you're wondering--because you've given me a lot to think about."
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Posted: Mon Jan 20, 2014 9:09 am
Nevada hand dropped and curled at her side, she was still angry and she knew it was because she saw that Eva knew what was going on, why it was bothering Nevada so much.
It just made her angerier that Eva was just so goddamn perfect, because of all this.
She shrugged and made her way to the door.
"While your taking your time thinking about about those things, Otto is going to slip away from you. As a friend and potential Boyfriend." Nevada hissed, "And if you're lucky, someone won't come steal him right from under you." She gave a pointed stare before going to the door and swinging it open.
She moved to head to the training field, hunger suddenly gone and the need to hit things much stronger then usual.
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Posted: Mon Jan 20, 2014 1:17 pm
She offered Nevada a smile, though it was one that didn’t reach her eyes as the other girl head towards the kitchen door. ”If that’s what’s best for him and what would make him happiest, then I’d be glad,” She replied, her tone icy, ”Especially considering how no one can steal from me something that I don’t even have.” Could she and Otto even be considered friends right now? As it was, it almost felt like their relationship had suddenly dropped all the way back down to strangers, a thought that had her pressing her lips into a thin, tight line.
When Nevada left, Eva’s first urge was to break something, while her second urge was to give in to that desire inside her to crumple somewhere and cry for a bit. However, instead of doing either of those things, she whipped out her phone and scanned down the list of names until she came to one in particular.
Sending them a quick text, she slide her phone back into her pocket and closed her eyes, taking a deep breath to steady herself. Before she got to really thinking about everything, she first needed to blow off some steam and clear her mind in the best way she knew how. Nyxtsuki Moon /o/ Thank you, Nyx! OuO <3
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