|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Sun Jan 12, 2014 4:40 pm
I'd like to apologise to you all.
Firstly I'd like to apologise that this may turn out to be longwinded and at times may not make sense. I'm trying to be clear and honest about every aspect of this including the emotional side and as such I'm not thinking as the words leave the keyboard.
Secondly I'd like to apologise for being sparse.Gaia used to be a big part of my life and I've met many wonderful people in the whole time I've been on this site. I've developed friendships. I even met Amanda here. However recently things in my life have come to light that serve only to remind me that it is not fated to be as long, nor as easy as I would have liked and as such I feel I owe an explanation to you all.
It has been this way for a while now but I feel that as my friends and as people that have helped support me in your own little way, you should be informed of the truth and severity of the situation in which I find myself and as such offer you my apologies.
To friends old and new alike; I am truly sorry for not spending my time with you all more wisely. Know that in my own perverse way, avoiding conversation and social interaction as a whole was only my attempt to protect you from the hurt that I can and will inadvertently cause and, I suppose..To protect myself from the guilt.
I'm dying.
It has been slow and gradual like a flower wilting in the sun but nonetheless I feel as though I may be coming to the end of this process and I wanted to say goodbye. Though I still may have many months or even a few years left I am slowly loosing my willpower and my mind is in pieces and will continue to be for a long time so now, in this one rare moment of clarity I want you all to know that up to this point, you have all played your part in making my life a life worth living and one worth fighting for. I wanted to thank you all.
There have been events set in motion in these past few weeks that I had never thought to prepare myself for. I perhaps lulled myself into a false sense of security and that was wrong of me as now I find myself torn apart and unable to feel and out of fear of remaining this way I had to speak my mind whilst It was still in my possession, whilst it remains in my abilities to do so.
In short and to once again repeat myself;
I am sorry and thankful in equal measure. That I got to spend time with you all, though not as much as I would have liked.
I wish you all the best in the future.
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Jan 13, 2014 10:24 am
I honestly don't really know what to say Mac. The only few things that do come to mind is that I really wish that things haven't gotten worse for you. I was really hoping that they could do something and make you better. You don't have to apologize for anything. It's not your fault you're sick and you had to deal with it on your own. You had to do what you had to do and there is nothing wrong with that. I wouldn't understand what it would be like to be in your shoes but when I think about it, I think I would have done the same.
But, I would like to thank you for having such a good time with us here in the shop. For talking to me and everyone else and making us laugh in streams when you were able to have them. You personality, your voice and you art was all something to love. I wish I had the chance to know you better but from what I got I had a awesome time and it's something I would never forget.
I wish you the best too, Mac. I really do.
If you need someone to talk to you know where I am at.
Just poke me and I will do my best to answer.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Insanity_Of_The_loveless Crew
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Jan 13, 2014 1:31 pm
I am pretty sure my message is going to get sappy at some point so I just wanted to warn everyone who might read this.
Matt I know that I do not know you as well as I would like to but I want you to know that I love you. You have always been a very warm, fun, caring, witty guy and I absolutely adore the way you say bottle! XD
I know what it's like to me given the short end of the stick, due to my muscular dystrophy my lifespan has never been expected to be very long so in my own way I feel as though I have some grasp on what you are dealing with. I can tell like me you aren't scared about what is going to happen you, you are more worried about leaving behind those who care about you.
You have always been in my thoughts and prayers, and will continue to be there as long as I'm around. I thank you for your friendship and your wonderful art you have done over the time I have known you.
I apologize if I am talking like you are already gone because I know you will still be around for some time longer but I just want you to know that I care just like everyone else whose life you have touched.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
