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"But it's a giant hairy monster."

Shiloh had already managed to get the horrific sweater on over her body, after she'd come over for some hasty discussion with her best friend. He'd given up on trying to convince her not to do this, but he'd tried. He'd reminded her not to send him any selfies, not to let him touch her boobs, and informed her that he'd probably just get cheetos crumbs all over them. All of this was sound advice that Maebe had actually needed to hear. But the sweater..

"It's Chewbacca! From the movie. Trust me," He'd told her. "He'll love it."

"But it's a Giant. Hairy. Monster."

She hadn't been so convinced.

Maebe showed up to Mark's office a good half hour later than she'd expected. They hadn't really set a time, so she wasn't 'late', but she had managed to waste a fair amount of time trying to convince Shiloh that giant hairy monsters were not trendy apparel, no matter how obsessed with a movie you were. The last thing she needed walking into this was to take a hit to her self-confidence. She needed that to convince herself that she was always one step ahead of the game.

Maybe that was Shiloh's plan all along. The clever boy must have been trying to throw her off her game in order to make sure she didn't do anything disgusting. What a douchebag.

Walking into Mark's office had her half-expecting to find him asleep again. Would she end up spending her time there stealing more of his stuff, if he was? Probably. But at least he'd get a new sweater out of it.

Maebe needed that moment to take it all in. And she took it.

Then she backed out of the office through the doorway, and very slowly shut the door in her own face.

This was a mistake, she convinced herself, as she clenched her eyes to try and push out the vision of Mark lying there in robes, positioned preposterously on the couch, waiting for her. His responses to her tweets had actually started to clue her in on just how clueless he was, so she didn't expect anything kinky or forward walking in that day.

But then she saw that, and she knew he was going to pop up in her nightmares tonight.

She turned away from the door and took a step in the opposite direction. But she stopped there, taking in a deep. cleansing breath. "No." She told herself. "Get it together, Maebe. You've been through worse then this. With worse than this. Way worse. You can do this. You can be - "

She couldn't even say it out loud. (Mostly because she didn't know what it meant to be Chewbacca. Should she have skipped on shaving her legs?? Her stomach churned and she shoved the entire thought out of her head.

"A big girl." There, that was easier. She turned back around, and opened the door. Whether or not he was still lounging on that couch didn't matter, because she walked in and focused smartly on the giant screen instead. Where did he get something like that with such short notice? See, Maebe, She thought in a self-convincing manner. Mark is just full of secrets.

Her face smoothed out into an even smile. "Wow." The word sounded genuinly impressed. "You don't mess around."

While she might have originally second guessed her decision, the fact that he was already eating doritos and drinking a beer somehow made the entire situation less sexual predator and more Shiloh was right, except doritos not cheetos. Well, it was official - he was not allowed to touch her boobs.

And in truth, he didn't even seem interested in the task. So she walked over to the love seat, and grabbed the six pack before he accidentally dropped them from fishing. She pulled one out for herself, and then dropped the rest beside him.

"Uh." She could have tried to flirt, but Mark made it difficult to take him seriously. "Where am I supposed to sit, if you lie down like that?" This was, of course, completely ignoring the fact that he'd already shushed her - which normally would mean a punch to the stomach, but that was saved for later, when he tried to touch her boob with dorito fingers.

She was wrong. She hadn't been with worse than this. The mere idea of dating Mark seemed equivalent to dating a younger brother. Even the look he gave her felt sibling'esque, which was really starting to irritate her to the point of abandoning any premise of subterfuge. Mark was a hopeless cause.

She swiveled around and took the beer - because if she wasn't going to get anything out of him for this, she was certainly going to get her buzz on - and flopped down in the chair. The movie looked old and boring. Immediately, she remembered something Peyton had said, and smiled.

"Why does this guy sound so whiny?" She huffed out, burying herself comfortably into the chair after reaching for the pretzels. "I mean, he lives at home with his parents. Big deal. He's being a big whiny baby."

She continued before Mark could even have a chance to retaliate. "That robot just looks like a guy in a robot suit. Why aren't all the robots little round things like his friend? Is every robot going to look different? Don't you think they would be mass producing them at this point?"

.. This was going to be more fun than she'd originally thought.

Why was she here? How in the hell was he so naive that he could genuinely ask that? Was he three?

Still, his response was priceless. She knew she owed Peyton a thank you card, after a moment like that - and it was selfishly indulgent of her to feel so satisfied at his discontent. In the end, she was probably just being a brat because he was more interested in the movie, than her. But oh, being a brat was so much fun.

"I'm here because - " She could have been honest with him. She could have just said she was here because he sounded interested in something quick and dirty. But she was getting clever, now - and a clever Maebe never told the truth. Ever. "Because.. you said you'd convince me that these movies were worth watching. How are you going to do that, if you don't answer every single one of my questions? Sitting here in silence is going to mean I'm bored, and I'll walk out of your room thinking Star Wars is lame. Is that what you want, Mark?" She pushed herself up, leaned forward, and looked at him with great intensity. "Are you going to fail your franchise like that? Are you going to let the Dark Side seduce me, or are you going to do it your damn self?"

This was so much fun!

It had been fun. For a total of five seconds. Then it spiralled downhill and landed in the pit of worst date ever, followed by biggest mistake of her life. But she perservered; if nothing else, Maebe did not give up easily. Even she had to have some good qualities.

So she ignored that rude question, standing up to go look for the remote. It was nowhere near the couch, even after she shifted him a few times to look for it. When she finally worked up the courage to look on his desk, she sifted through the junk with an expression of utter horror. Something brushed against her finger, and she sucked in a breath of surprise when a cockroach popped out and scuttled away.

Mark was disgusting.

Triumphantly, her hands found the remote - but the triumph was short lived, when she realized it was covered in some sort of sticky.. batter.. substance.

"Jesus.." She whispered shakily. She turned and hit pause, freezing the frame on Luke trying to use the force through a helmet to bat away little laser shots from a small floating robot. When she hit pause, she put her hand up, trying to stop Mark from the inevitable barrage of insults and anger she expected him to throw at her.

"Listen to me for just a second." She muttered through clenched teeth. "Because I am trying to help here. If you're not going to actually try to help me like this movie, then yes. Obviously, I'm going to go leave." And take seven showers in a vain attempt to get the smell of his office off of her. "But I want you to consider this for just a second. You can watch this movie any day of the week. You can marathon them all you want in your little office alone, while texting your friends or whatever it is that you're doing. And you can go masturbate to Leia all you want for the rest of your life. That's your prerogative. But right now, you have a once in a lifetime chance with a real live not blow up girl, and you're asking her to leave so you can do something you'd totally be able to do any other time." Did she sound a little insulted? She was trying very hard not to.

"Is that your final answer?"

Ho-ly s**t. Maebe's blood pressure was rising through the roof. She closed her eyes, and put her hand on her temple for a second, before reaching into the pocket of her jeans to procure ten dollars, and throw it in his face. "Dwight did not put me up to this, moron." Maebe seethed out, in a quiet, but extremely vicious tone. She reached out and ripped the bowl of Doritos from his clutches. "This was all me. All me, offering you a chance to have someone finally say yes to you for once. And now this is all me, taking that offer back."

She threw the remote at him, with the same force as the money. Then she relented, because a thought occurred to her. One that took precedence over everything that she'd just endured, and the unbearable hit to her ego that this stain had just delivered.

"Do me a favor." Maebe muttered through once more clenched teeth. "If anybody asks about tonight, do what men do best. Lie."

He wasn't even actually answering what she was saying. And he was asking her for the ten dollars that she'd already thrown at him. Maebe did not normally scream, but she certainly made exceptions for moments like this. She let out a scream through clenched teeth, and picked up the ten dollar bill she'd thrown at him, shoving it into his shirt collar. "Would you PLEASE. JUST FOR ONE MOMENT. Live in this world with me right now, Mark. Seriously. Right here. Let's go. Okay?" She reached out and - very slowly, very hesitantly, just patted his cheek. "Are you with me now, guy? Back on Earth? You can do this, okay. Be not crazy for a single minute so I can talk to you."