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 Posted: Sun Jan 05, 2014 7:51 pm
Sorry to bother everyone again sweatdrop This project is something I've been working on for quite a while, and I believe I have now sufficiently polished it by myself to submit it for outside opinions. I know some of you have already glimpsed at it through various stages of its devellopment via the PMs I've received; but we can now make it official here wink With the new format to summoning contracts now in effect (now has its own subforum, like clans) I went out to update the Cool Springs Tortoises to fit the new canvas. Although it had been previously approved in a much more basic essence, I wanted to remake it as simply yet thoroughly as possible, being, I believe, pretty much the only contract actively in use. Since it will be the first of its kind, It is very important that it be more than presentable being the one others would most likely inspire themselves from to build theirs. Therefore, all comments/corrections are welcome: balance (of course!), presentation, even wording and grammar corrections would be more than welcome (since English is not my first language!). Also, I do believe we have a few members versed in Japanese, so if the extremely rudimentary translations for jutsu names I made with an online dictionary are incorrect, corrections on those would also be extremely appreciated! As you'll see, all of the mandatory sections from the contract creation instructions are found in this thread, although they have been separated into individual posts for aesthetic and organization. I know this is a pretty substantial task so, again, I'm sorry sweatdrop and all comments will be appreciated and demands for precisions/explanations will be answered swiftly. Thank you smile Thread is here: Sameruizumi Kame (Cool Springs Tortoises)EDIT: Also you'll notice the summons do not have sheets yet since abilities have not yet been approved themselves. Being only mathematical, I intend to simply submit them like any other profile once all the ingredients have been approved in their final forms.
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Posted: Thu Jan 09, 2014 9:42 pm
YESSSSSSSSSSSS.
Heh, Shark Tortoise...
Anyways, whats the image for Turtle Transformation Technique from?
Develop/ed has one L. You have spelled it with 2 in multiple places. Not a biggy though, that was just a help on language. What is your first language?
Also "will take the form based on his affinities and general profile. Not all shinobi like the end result". this is the correct grammar for Kame Henge XD Shinobi in Japanese is like "sheep". Works as plural and singular.
Okay, approval stuff, hmmm...
HMMM... I honestly have no real, complaints...
I APPROVE!
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Posted: Sat Jan 11, 2014 10:10 am
Thanks for the corrections!
The image I actually took off google search and edited it to add in forehead protectors to make it look Naruto-ish, was probably some TMNT comic art originally xd
They have been made! First language is French actually, can be confusing because many workds are alike except for slightly different spelling.
Thank you for the vote too, can take a while to review these things in details!
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Posted: Sat Jan 11, 2014 11:48 pm
Kikkou -> I was like, "What is exosquelettal?" XD So I googled it. I figured you probably meant exoskeletal (according to Google + Wiki) but then again, shell is apparently already used for large exoskeletons anyway... (Don't mind me and my Biology fail)
I don't know about increasing Con as a whole, since that will affect things like Fortitude and Concentration. Maybe just Dodge/Armor Bonus? (D&D has the thing where AC/Armor Check is increased when wearing armor, not because of dodge but because attacks are less likely to hit)
Monokage Kikkou -> I don't know much Japanese but I think it would be either Kikkou Monokage or Kikkou Cover XD Thats the wording I would have picked. But seriously it's not a big deal.
Kuchiyose: Kame Henge -> hindrances is spelled like that XD
How long does the technique last? Is there a maintenance cost?
Bekkouhifu -> Is there a particular reason you used Bekkou instead of Kikkou? XD (genuinely wondering)
The training seems a bit not that taxing considering the requirements :O
Diamondback -> So... no damage is taken if at least 675ish damage is not dealt? Or am I reading that wrong XD
Kamezumo -> Chain melee attacks as in... not having to keep the grapple DC? Using up all the dice rolls until the end of the turn and then reapplying the grapple? Or... @_@?
*repeatedly
Geigeki -> *facilitate initiation
Reggae -> Love it! XD
"Reduce number of victim's attacks in conformity with reduction to attack bonus, melee or ranged, if reduced to 0. " What do you mean by this?
Tenmin Haku -> Does the user have to be Shelled or Shelled if no instrument?
LOVE IT!!
BTW, I love the pics you provided for the jutsus smile
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kouri-chan_xx Vice Captain
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Posted: Sun Jan 12, 2014 10:44 am
kouri-chan_xx Kikkou -> I was like, "What is exosquelettal?" XD So I googled it. I figured you probably meant exoskeletal (according to Google + Wiki) but then again, shell is apparently already used for large exoskeletons anyway... (Don't mind me and my Biology fail) I don't know about increasing Con as a whole, since that will affect things like Fortitude and Concentration. Maybe just Dodge/Armor Bonus? (D&D has the thing where AC/Armor Check is increased when wearing armor, not because of dodge but because attacks are less likely to hit) Thanks for the clarification on spelling, I Frenched it again xd Good point about constitution, had actually though about it.Since we don't really have an armor system I wasn't exactly sure how to translate an increase in the damage the turtle can take other than increasing its overall constitution. Plus w the turtle's characteristics it kinda made some sense, sice they do everything slower it was easier for them to maintain focus. Still, when we get a working armor system we'll be able to update this, but with the way it is now I find this makes sufficient sense and remains balanced. kouri-chan_xx Monokage Kikkou -> I don't know much Japanese but I think it would be either Kikkou Monokage or Kikkou Cover XD Thats the wording I would have picked. But seriously it's not a big deal. Corrected 3nodding kouri-chan_xx Kuchiyose: Kame Henge -> hindrances is spelled like that XD How long does the technique last? Is there a maintenance cost? Spelling corrected! Added a continuous cp cost, for some reason I was under the impression that regular henge was a flat cost! kouri-chan_xx Bekkouhifu -> Is there a particular reason you used Bekkou instead of Kikkou? XD (genuinely wondering) The training seems a bit not that taxing considering the requirements :O Corrected. Had originally done it C-Rank and bumped it up to B, had forgotten to adjust training. Stages 3 and 4 were identical by the way xd kouri-chan_xx Diamondback -> So... no damage is taken if at least 675ish damage is not dealt? Or am I reading that wrong XD Yup that's it! Since it's the only S-Ranked defensive technique so far thought it would make sense that it be near indestructible. kouri-chan_xx Kamezumo -> Chain melee attacks as in... not having to keep the grapple DC? Using up all the dice rolls until the end of the turn and then reapplying the grapple? Or... @_@? *repeatedly Redid it completely, I had an idea for it today and I think this version reflects the concept better and suits their style more than successive throws and suplexes. kouri-chan_xx Geigeki -> *facilitate initiation Corrected. kouri-chan_xx Reggae -> Love it! XD "Reduce number of victim's attacks in conformity with reduction to attack bonus, melee or ranged, if reduced to 0. " What do you mean by this? If, for example, the penalty is -10 and opponents melee attack bonus is (24, 19, 14, 9), it becomes (14, 9, 4, -1) and he therefore cannot use a melee attack for that last attack as it has become lower than 0. However, if his ranged attack bonus still has a positive score for that last attack he may still attempt a ranged attack for it. kouri-chan_xx Tenmin Haku -> Does the user have to be Shelled or Shelled if no instrument? LOVE IT!! Shelled if no instrument, specified more clearly 3nodding kouri-chan_xx BTW, I love the pics you provided for the jutsus smile Thanks! These practically took as much time to find/alter as it was to actually think them up. I always find that the visual aspect adds another dimension to the game!
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Posted: Mon Jan 13, 2014 12:18 am
So... Street Sharks inspires me to make a technique for the Shark Summons (and kinda Hiru, with his Kame Henge) where the Sharks, turn into something like these guys. Oh and look!HeheheOh and...
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Posted: Tue Jan 14, 2014 8:29 pm
Qyp So... Street Sharks inspires me to make a technique for the Shark Summons (and kinda Hiru, with his Kame Henge) where the Sharks, turn into something like these guys. Oh and look!HeheheOh and...I guess this would make them go from "aquatic" creatures to "marine" creatures and allow them to move on land despite a penalty to their movement? And man, I remember this show from when I was a kid, it was bad and these sharks were creepy as hell!
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Posted: Tue Jan 14, 2014 8:49 pm
Hoshigaki Hiru Qyp So... Street Sharks inspires me to make a technique for the Shark Summons (and kinda Hiru, with his Kame Henge) where the Sharks, turn into something like these guys. Oh and look!HeheheOh and...I guess this would make them go from "aquatic" creatures to "marine" creatures and allow them to move on land despite a penalty to their movement? And man, I remember this show from when I was a kid, it was bad and these sharks were creepy as hell! XD Yes. And yes, change to marine, and gain similar Hoshigaki anatomy.
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Posted: Sun Jan 19, 2014 5:51 pm
Looks k-chan hammered out everything lol all it seems to need is approvals so *salutes* I approve!
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Posted: Mon Jan 20, 2014 2:31 am
So Kamezumo... how does one actually break out of the grapple? If beating the break Grapple DC just means no damage is sustained :O Or does that mean that the target can only break grapple in their turn (of attacking)?
*Replace [str mod] in standard break grapple formula by [str mod / 2] + [con mod]. <- Is that for the victim when rolling to break grapple, or is that for when the user rolls the Grapple DC or is that when the user is breaking free of being grappled.. XD;;
I also thought that the Cp cost for the Diamondback shield was a bit small XD I was thinking like 300, at least >.>
Rest looks good!
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kouri-chan_xx Vice Captain
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Posted: Mon Jan 20, 2014 6:19 am
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Posted: Mon Jan 20, 2014 7:35 pm
kouri-chan_xx So Kamezumo... how does one actually break out of the grapple? If beating the break Grapple DC just means no damage is sustained :O Or does that mean that the target can only break grapple in their turn (of attacking)? *Replace [str mod] in standard break grapple formula by [str mod / 2] + [con mod]. <- Is that for the victim when rolling to break grapple, or is that for when the user rolls the Grapple DC or is that when the user is breaking free of being grappled.. XD; I'll try to rephrase it to make it clearer sweatdrop This was basically a balance adjustment following your first comment. The style basically allows the user to attack during the grapple, as opposed to simply holding the opponent in place. In the first version, the idea was that since the opponent was grappled, he basically couldn't dodge the attacks so he just took the damage. Since this was too strong when I reviewed it in a simulation between balanced shinobis A and B, I replaced it by opting to change the dodge formula for the defender from [level + dex mod + wis mod] to [level + str mod + con mod] while grappled, which meant he would simply resist being tossed around by using his strength and weight. To actually break the grapple, the defender must do it the usual way, by using up actual attack turns to roll strength checks against grapple DC. The only difference is that, in Kamezumo, the user constantly pushes his massive weight against the defender to pin him against the ground, thus changing the formula to calculate grapple DC from [d20 + str mod] to [d20 + str mod / 2 + con mod]. This obviously makes the grapple harder to break than usual, but it kinda makes sense for a style focused on it. I'll try to phrase it better in the technique description. kouri-chan_xx I also thought that the Cp cost for the Diamondback shield was a bit small XD I was thinking like 300, at least >.> Yeah at first it was higher, but I realized that since my update to defensive techniques was never approved (and ultimately waived since a new rule came into effect that only crew could suggest system updates in the approvals), this technique would be the only one with a barrier HP, as all others are simply unbreakable for a fraction of the cost... stare Still I see that suggestion coming into effect at some point in the future, when I'll be done with the missions most likely since I'll have more time to go back on everyone's suggestions on the matter. Add to that the offensive use (even though damage is relatively small), I'll admit this probably warrants higher chakra cost. I'll split the difference with you at 225 ? wink
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Posted: Mon Feb 10, 2014 5:37 am
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Posted: Wed Feb 12, 2014 12:38 pm
I increased the casting cost to 300, she was right, it was too low for the effect!
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Posted: Thu Feb 13, 2014 2:20 pm
It's been three weeks since the last comment and I've made the suggested modifications, which would place this at 4/5... Can we call this approved?
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Reply
