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 Posted: Mon Dec 30, 2013 11:48 am
"EEEEEEEIIIIiiiiii nonononono..."
The high pitched wail seemed to echo through the park as a gray blurr streaked through the snow and dived under a bush in a flurr of tossed white stuff. The yapping, multi-mouthed dog that chased it was not nearly so agile or graceful... it was hard to be when you were also multi-eyed and had an odd number of limbs. Was that seven legs?
Whatever it was, the cat it had trapped against a tree was not happy about it, spitting and hissing as she pressed her haunches against the bark and puffed herself up as big as she could.
This was so undignified! Here she was, out looking for senshi to meet, and Ash had the bad luck of finding a youma instead. It wasn't fair... she wasn't cut out for this kind of thing, not at all. She was used to being a house kitty, being fed and babied, not struggling to survive out in the cold, cruel world...
"Go away!" She spat at the monster, another burbling wail bubbling up from her throat. "You are ugly and you smell!"
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Posted: Mon Dec 30, 2013 12:04 pm
"Peee-YUUUUU. You aren't kidding!" Ballard noted, waving a paw in front of his nose, though the effect might have been somewhat lost with his eye searing purple mittens and neon green and pink leopard print kitty-coat. The naked cat was perched on a branch above the fray, having been quite pleased with himself for managing the climb with minimal damage to his fabulous wardrobe... and seriously. Youma? Youma DOGS no less? So not going to ruin his day. "Hey woofers! I got a better snack for you!" He called down, summoning a glass bottle from his subspace pocket, and pulling the stopper with his teeth. "Twy dis s'uff. Sco'vll is OFF D' HUK!" He noted.... whatever that might have been supposed to be interpreted as, tipping the bottle forward and letting drops of dark liquid splash down onto the Youma's head. It was a shameless overuse of highly concentrated hot sauce, especially for this particular bottle, which contained such infamous little peppers as the Scotch Bonnet. "ALMOS' A' " He paused to restopper the bottle before the entire contents could escape, though a good half the bottle already had. "ALMOST AS HOT AS ME, RIGHT? Oh wait I lied. I'm so hot I'm off the Scoville SCALE!"
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Posted: Tue Dec 31, 2013 3:58 pm
A voice from above and a sudden rain of... something had Ash jumping straight up into the air with an athletic twist that latched her onto the back of the tree. Green eyes wide behind her visor, she twisted her head around to watch as the youma screetched in pain and anger.
For a creature with multiple everything, having hot sauce splashed in and on it was worse than for any single-orifice creature. Five eyes and two mouths burned with the sauce, its very skin breaking out in a fierce rash as it screamed in pain. The cats were completely forgotten as it struggling to deal with this fiery assault and dashed off to plow into a snow back in an effort to remove the offending substance. It kept jumping about and dashing off until it was right out of the park and Ash heaved a sigh of relief.
Unhooking her claws from where they were deeply embedded, she slid down the tree again to land daintily in the dirt. The smell of the hot sauce was over powering, making her wrinkle her nose as she crept out from under the bush and out in a clean area to take stock of herself. That was when she noticed drops of hot sauce on her silver shoulder and Ash just about lost it right then and there.
"You got that stuff on my fur!" She shrieked as she attempted to lick it off, her face bunching up as she tried to cool her mouth unsuccessfully. "Omigoshomigoshomigosh... its so groooosss...." The burmilla whimpered, thoroughly distraught over having this icky stuff on her fur and being unable to clean it.
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Posted: Tue Dec 31, 2013 4:25 pm
"It's not STUFF. It's Blairs 2 AM reserve! I had to get someone to sign a waiver to buy that!" Ballard pointed out, picking his way down the tree as he banished what was left of the bottle to his 'personal pocket'. "It's not gross, it's MARVELOUS. Love the stuff. Can't get enough." He noted, watching her flail with a spark of amusement in his bright green eyes. "...You're a total pepper noob aren't you?" He observed, curling his tail around his feet. "... Ohhhh kaayy I guess I should tell you that you should get..." He waved a paw round in circles. "Milk or bread or something to soak up the oils. Water will just make it funni....I mean worse. Make it worse." "You're welcome by the way. And also welcome for the rescue, not just sharing my fine peppery concoctions and beauty but also the rescue."
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Posted: Wed Jan 01, 2014 10:27 am
"Yes, well, thank you for the rescue, but you got it on my fur!" Ash whimpered as she darted over to him, presenting her shoulder. "I can't get it so you're going to have to. Please..."
She turned big, green, pleading eyes on him, though some of the effect may have been lost through the purple of her visor. "A lady can't be out looking like this. Please... I'll owe you twice and the Silver Lady always settles her debts!"
So, maybe she hadn't had any debts thus far, unless you counted her serial shoplifting of electronics. Which she didn't because she counted it as liberating precious babies from captivity and abuse. They were so much better off in her care it would have been a crime NOT to take them.... But that was beside the point. She was dirty and she desperately needed to be clean again. Heaven forbid anyone else saw her like this, but the heat was far too much for her delicate palette to take.
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Posted: Wed Jan 01, 2014 10:56 am
"Well now, that's rather forward isn't it?" Ballard noted,cooly, making a deliberate show of examining his own shoulder, which was mostly covered by loud coat. "Oh sir, I know you have just rescued me from horrible creatures, and I have in fact insulted your sacrifice of the godly heat-nectar that is Blairs 2 AM Reserve, a true crown jewel in the realm of heat, but would you please be so kind as to groom me as well, while I imply that I outrank you in an deeply outmoded title that properly goes to Senshi anyway?" He sniffed, flicking a large, wrinkly pierced ear as he added. "I mean I'm a pretty forgiving and generous soul, but Lady Fluffypants you haven't even asked me what MY name is before asking me to potentially get an... ugh... hairball." Perhaps it was because he was himself blessed with only an almost invisible hint of peach fuzz, but he really didn't quite seem to grasp how much fur went into an actual hairball.
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Posted: Wed Jan 01, 2014 1:30 pm
At this point, Ash was more or less twitching impatiently in place, seeing no reason at all why he'd refuse such a simple request. It would take him all of two seconds and THEN they could take the time to get properly acquainted. Ash was all for proper manners and all that, but... there was hot sauce on her fur. What part of that didn't he understand?
The idea that she might give him a hairball seemed to pull her back from her obsessive need to clean herself and she puffed up as she stared at him indignantly.
"I have never had a hair ball, thankyouverymuchsir." She gasped out, her slender tail lashing. Obviously, he had about as much brains as he did fur, which was to say... next to none. Her silky soft fur, cause a hair ball? Perish the thought.
"I would love to have the luxury of greeting you formally in the manner we both deserve, but at the moment I have a far bigger issue than your hurt feelings. This is your fault, even, and you seem to think its too much of me to ask that you clean up after yourself. Its not even in an awkward spot and you obvious have a far higher tolerance for heat than I do... on top of that, you're a gentleman, aren't you? Shouldn't gentlemen help out ladies in their times of need? Honestly, if this is the sort of... whatever, that I can expect from other guardians then perhaps I was better off not meeting a single other soul, no matter how handsome they might turn out to be."
The silver burmilla huffed as she turned her faded grey side to him and sat down in the snow, proceeding to ignore him as she fussed over the hot sauce. Honestly... what sort of a world was this? High-class, pure-bred girl like her being chased by monsters and sneered at by her kind. Really. It was just too much.
She delicately licked one of the drops and screwed her face up as the heat blossomed on her tongue and mouth, her jaws gaping as she sucked in cool air in an effort to stem the heat. Stupid Tom... she would have been happy to fawn all over him in thanks, but really. How rude... She'd just have to take care of herself herself and he could go... sit in a snow bank. Her mental fuming continued, though little of it escaped her save some mumbles and soft huffs.
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Posted: Wed Jan 01, 2014 2:47 pm
The hotsauce, at levels which had been known to slowly errode cast iron pans, likely wasn't phased much by cold air, and nor was Ballard, who squinted his eyes and flicked his ears and chortled heartily at her expense. "Oh right, sorry, ALL MY FAULT." he chuckled. "Next time there's a big stinky dog monster I'll just let you two get on with your canoodle session then? I mean if being rescued is all that much trouble." "Sure you haven't fluffypants. I bet that's what all the fluffybutts say. I mean wow. All that...." he waved a paw gingerly. "... hair. How can you stand it?" At least she'd had the good sense to note that he was handsome, even if she looked like she couldn't handle a shot of black pepper. "Like I said, Sparklewhiskers. Bread or milk, bread or milk, but no rush. I'm kind of enjoying watching steam come out your ears. It's Ballard by the way."
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Posted: Wed Jan 01, 2014 3:16 pm
Fluffypants... Sparklewhiskers... The names didn't grate on her so much as the tone they were delivered in, making green eyes narrow as she gave him an insulted look over her shoulder.
"I don't have any milk or bred, thankyouverymuch." She huffed as she flicked her tail in irritation. It never really sat still, just twitching back and forth to express her irritated state. "And this hair is perfectly comfortable to be in. I'm sure its even more comfortable than those... clothes or whatever you're wearing."
"Ballard." She huffed as she licked herself again, making another face. It made her eyes water, but if he wasn't going to help, then she would just have to suffer through it. There was no way she was going anywhere like this. Heaven forbid.
"My name is Ash, not that I'm sure you care all that much." The silver cat said primly. Another lick or two and her fur was finally free of stain, though sporting a wet spot. That, at least, would dry... or would once she got somewhere warm and it thawed out. Out here in the snow it was just a spot of cold in her fluffy coat. "I'd almost prefer tangling with a youma to cleaning this stuff out of my fur again..."
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Posted: Wed Jan 01, 2014 4:37 pm
"Oh I thought it was Silver Laddddyyy" Ballard beamed, drawing out the title with great pomp, circumstance, and amusement. "Duly noted, Cinderella! Duly noted! And these are indeed clothes, fine, lovely clothes from my vast collection of high fashion." He raised a paw and held it delicately to his chest, as he struck a pose. "Almost as delicious as a batch of nachos dripping with spicy queso, there is my wardrobe. Not a day goes by when I do not choose an entirely different palate to be painted in, not for I, a lonely coat of unchanging fur. No, I man RESPLENDENT in colors from all parts of the rainbow and my glorious skin. Like a glorious creature of legend, I am Sphynx!, and my riddle is to make people wonder how I can possibly be this amazing. Yet here I am."
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Posted: Wed Jan 01, 2014 4:59 pm
Ash lifted her nose as he teased her, her pointed ears flicking dismissively.
"Ash is my name, Silver Lady is what they call me. As you can see, I am a creature of high breeding who happens to be a fine shade of grey... thus the title. Some how, I think you fail to see the intent behind it..." Sphinx, huh? The hairless breed... no less valued in shows than her own breed, but she liked to think her lineage was longer and older than his. Burmillas weren't so old, but both Persians and Burmese were.
Normally, Ash would not have gone that route with her thoughts... she wasn't a show cat, so its not like lineage mattered, but he was so... frustrating, that she wanted every advantage she could get.
"Yes, yes, I'm sure you are a veritable peacock in your fancy clothes." She said with a huff, trying not to roll her eyes. "I'm quite happy being a simple, lovely silver... far easier to keep looking nice, in my opinion. Now, thank you for your help, such as it was, but I think it is time I said good day." Ash said as she rose with a flick of her striped tail.
Better to escape now than risk further contamination from some other foul liquid he might suddenly produce... and as much as she could appreciate enjoying ones own lovely image, she would rather be looking into a mirror than listening to him go on about his fine fur-less form. At least then someone would be appreciating how hard she worked to look so lovely.
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Posted: Thu Jan 02, 2014 5:56 am
"Well, you are entitled to an opinion." Ballard noted, somewhat dismissively. He wasn't exactly clear on who the 'they' was she was talking about. He certainly didn't plan on addressing her with such a title. "You have fun, toots. Good luck finding someone else to save you next time. Taaaaa!" Wow, what an crazy cat. Lady indeed. Pft. Seriously. Oh well, he had other things to do, and now he needed to find a way to replenish his hot sauce supply.
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