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 Posted: Wed Oct 30, 2013 8:38 pm
He had walked in on many Infirmary rooms where a partner or friend was sitting by someone's bedside, worried, distraught, and usually worn down. Each and every time, he would tell them to take care of themselves and scold them for being more of a mess and close to being thrown in a bed themselves because of how they kept themselves.
That did not mean, when it was time to take his own medicine, that he would.
The prospect of going back to his room was too haunting for him, and he feared what would come to him if he dared to go back to his room alone. Instead, he had followed the other Lifers to where Rin was taken care of and eventually brought to rest. Here, he picked a chair, moved it close to her bed, and sat there. Here, he could look at her and just try not to think. Here, he could look at her and watch her breath, letting his mind go blank.
Here, he had company.
But that company only went so far, and in the hours and days that passed, even he had to occupy a mind determined to torture him. Fidgety, he would rise up and find something to do. He organized the cleaning bottles under the sink, organized the cotton balls in their container, and straightened out the tongue depressors in their jar. He refolded the towels in the bathroom until every corner perfectly matched, and when the shelves were organized, pulled everything out to clean inside the shelves, allowing him to reorganize everything back in it's place. He found dirty face-board to clean, tiles to wipe down, and at one point was under Rin's bed to see if the bars of the frame were rusty. All the while, he washed his hands, washed his face, and periodically ran his hair under water - damn conserving it. Late at night, he'd leave the lights all bright, on, and look at the grate to the vent that blew in air and wondered if there was anything moving deep in the dark.
His fingernails would curl into the flesh of his neck, racking down long lines of red, until, very late at night, he rose up and found a scalpel. When everything was inspected, when the lines were red and deep, he cleaned up, bandaged his neck up, put on the softest sweater he had, and resumed his place by Rin's bed. When she slept, he had looked under the sheets, and inspected. He made sure to wear gloves, for her safety, just to see that, just to be sure, that nothing moved under the skin.
But there was nothing there that wasn't unfamiliar - aside from fresh scars.
And so he sat, and tapped his fingernails against his teeth, occasionally scratching the collar of his sweater and touching his sides here and there to make sure that the brush of fabric he felt wasn't indeed a worm twisting against his side.
Needless to say, sleep was few and far between.
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Posted: Thu Oct 31, 2013 4:25 am
Rin was completely unaware of Melvin's quiet and very lonely tribulations that took place as she slumbered. She was not as peaceful as she may have looked, trapped in a nightmare. One she could not wake up from, not immediately anyway. Not for days. The events played over and over in her mind until the story became so distorted she was certain she had died at one point and must have been sent to hell for one reason or another.
Tortured for all eternity.
Everytime she relived it in her thoughts, the bugs became more ruthless and cruel. Taunting her with Melvin's body before ultimately... no. It happened again and she was helpless to stop it - again.
This time when her breathing became ragged with emotion, it was not confined to just her thoughts. Her chest heaved sharply and was followed by several quivered breaths as fresh warm tears rolled down her cheeks. Reality hurt, but not nearly as much as where she just was. Her breaths soothed, but that didn't stop reddened eyes from filling up with more tears as they sought him out.
She flinched as she struggled to roll onto her back with a loud crinkle of bandages. "Melvin?" she called out with an edge of uncertain desperation.
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Posted: Thu Oct 31, 2013 5:36 am
For the past half hour, Melvin had not been thinking of that place, mainly because he was doing math equations in his head over and over and over again. These were little things he had done throughout his life to cope with dark alleyways his friend's wanted to cut through on their way to the movies, or when he was alone at night and a scraping noise wouldn't stop from a closet door. It was the over and over and over again of numbers that he tried to envision as physical things, and he continued to run through these elementary drills before he jerked to attention when actual sound that wasn't from him came.
Looking up, he noticed tears clinging to Rin's cheeks, making their slow decent down to her jaw. Rising, he moved over, and making sure he had gloves on, decided not to touch even then, and went for a tissue from the nightstand and wiped her cheek. "I'm here." He told her, clearing his throat from disuse. "It's okay. You're safe now."
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Posted: Thu Oct 31, 2013 9:15 am
"Melvin?" she repeated a lot more softly now as she made it to her side. She didn't flinch away from his touch as he tended to her tears. This had to be her Melvin. The real Melvin. Her gaze traveled up the man and stopped at his shirt where her gaze lingered.
"Are you safe too?" Her voice sounded distant and thoughtful but also with a sharp edge of guilt and concern.
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Posted: Thu Oct 31, 2013 12:03 pm
He reached out, wanting to stroke her hair, but stopped when he glanced at her hair, not wanting to have her notice just yet. Instead, he let his fingertips lightly graze her hand. "..yeah. The doctors looked us both over. We're safe." That's what they said, but he did not believe it. At least not for him. There could still be one somewhere. One that they were missing.
He didn't think about it, looking down at Rin. "How are you feeling? Would you like some water?"
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Posted: Thu Oct 31, 2013 3:00 pm
Rin noticed that Melvin seemed to have second guessed himself on a touch, but did not know why. She watched his fingers still touch, only now her hand. She turned her hand and winced as she moved it to try and grab his and hold it firmly.
"No water. But I do want something." She swallowed dryly. A sticky lump caught in her throat at the desire for water... but she had a need for something else first.
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Posted: Thu Oct 31, 2013 3:16 pm
He tensed, looking at the hand that held tightly to his. Despite the effort and pain Rin displayed to grab it, he still wanted to pull it again, but held it still, and after a minute, his fingers lightly curled around her own fingers.
After staring at the hand on his, he looked back up to her. "What is it?"
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Posted: Thu Oct 31, 2013 3:25 pm
"A hug," Rin answered carefully. Gaze fixed intently on Melvin for his reply. Did he remember?...
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Posted: Thu Oct 31, 2013 3:34 pm
He looked at her hand, and then at her. A hug. She had been set on fire, and even then, he was hesitant. Biting his lip, he looked at all the bandages, how she could barely move, and then back to look at her eyes, trying not to take notice of the absence of long, curling black locks.
"..ok." He said it as if he was agreeing to try out knife juggling.
Leaning over, he carefully placed a arm on her shoulder. It was faint, with no direct chest contact, and no hands at her back. More of a hovering presence than a hug.
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Posted: Thu Oct 31, 2013 3:42 pm
Rin made an irritable noise before reaching her arm around Melvin with all her strength and attempting to haul him into a real hug. It hurt. A lot. But Rin did not care. Hugs made it all better okay.
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Posted: Thu Oct 31, 2013 4:04 pm
He had to lift his knee up on the bed to keep himself from falling on top of her, and then stayed there, feeling her press her hand against his back closer and closer until, what was just a light touch, was a tight embrace. While rigid at first, he looked at the bandages again, and the image of her set aflame came back to mind.
A hand pressed at Rin's back, and he lowered his chin to rest it on her shoulder. She was alive.
"I let go of your hand." He let go, and she fell back.
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Posted: Thu Oct 31, 2013 4:56 pm
Rin squeezed the poor b*****d through the pain, "So?"
After a while, she finally relaxed her grip. Exhausted. She heaved a light sigh of satisfaction. She quietly hoped he wouldn't pull away hastily.
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Posted: Thu Oct 31, 2013 5:09 pm
He did pull away, slowly, but stopped when he was just a foot or so away, looking down at her. "I shouldn't have." He shouldn't have ever let her hand go. He had almost lost her. By the time it took to turn back and see her in flames, she could have died. Just a split second, and she could have been impaled, eaten, torn, burnt, or filled to the brim with -
His throat went tight, suppressing the compulsion to heave, and he moved away from her to look away, ashamed and disgusted with many things, including himself.
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Posted: Thu Oct 31, 2013 5:18 pm
"It was a chaotic battlefield Melvin. I'm alive now. For all you know if you didn't, that would have resulted in my death. See? It works both ways." She relaxed physically and it seemed like her whole body heaved a silent sigh.
"You should hug more," she finally teased with a wry smirk.
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Posted: Thu Oct 31, 2013 5:34 pm
He didn't think Rin's reasoning was sound. Leaving someone behind, for even a moment, increased their chances of being harmed. It's why they were in teams. It's why they looked after each other, stuck together.
Watching her relax, he relaxed in turn. "...I guess." He hadn't been much of a hugger, and only ever really felt comfortable hugging his siblings. Not that he...didn't find them bad.
"Do you need anything else?" He stood there, twisting his hands.
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