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 Posted: Thu Oct 24, 2013 5:14 pm
There was something new in the cafeteria that day, an inconspicuous booth that was desperately trying to make itself more conspicuous.
Mark had been paid well to engineer a patented 'odor meter'. Any guys who passed too close would send the needle of the meter skyrocketing to the far end, as well as receiving an automated insult about their personal hygiene from a computerized voice.
'Free Deodorant!*' shouted the hand-painted banner. There was just one catch:
They'd have to try it on first, right here. With their shirt off.
You know, for science?
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Posted: Thu Oct 24, 2013 5:33 pm
There were illustrated instructions to explain taking your shirt off and flexing attractively for the less literate hunters, along with some handmade pamphlets that explained the importance of good hygiene. There were a number of very official-looking recommendations from several division leaders and assistants.
To the side there was a sort of booth with a curtain for privacy, and within it hung a mirror for the guys to admire themselves in. Those who knew what to look for might notice that the mirror was in fact two way, and that the inside of the booth was only about half as large as the outside.
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Posted: Thu Oct 24, 2013 6:01 pm
It would be about fifteen minutes later before Charlotte joined the two, to complete their trio, the trio of HOT (Hardbody Observation Team). She was carrying several large, officious and rather meticulously well crafted posters in her arms, which she immediately pasted on all positions of the well crafted booth. Off the busiest part of the cafeteria, the booth stood out quite a fair bit, several people probably wondering already what the Moon Assistant was up to as she pasted several posters on each side of their displays. Mark's patented "odour meter" did its best to shout insults literally at any well-bodied male that passed by, in various ranges of insults on their bodily hygiene, health, and as a psychological tactic, all the hazards related to getting things like sickness and maybe even the cancers if they did not go and remedy this problem right now with the variety of products offered on the table.
On the display table itself, Charlotte had taken the time to paste very large, officious posters saying "FREE DEODORANT SAMPLES, BE A NEW YOU, BE A NEW MAN TODAY." She hadn't been too sure on words, and Mark had, for a nice fee, been more than happy to fill in the context. There were two highlighted products, along with a bunch of hair spray, shampoo and hair treatment products, mustache products, and of course the miracle deodorants. One was labelled "AXE" and clearly had Axe products, from Axe body spray (chocolate) to of course anti-persperant. Another had Old Spice. According to the posters of testimony, the Sun and Moon leads insisted on Axe, while the Mist and Life and Death leads insisted on Old Spice.
There were also very, very clear instructions as to how to use the products as written on the giant posters inside.
Step 1: Grab a product, and try it on inside the very private booth. Don't forget to remove shirt (there was a diagram)
Step 2: Apply to muscles, especially areas with lots of muscles.
Step 3: Flex muscles firmly to make sure it is working. Use the mirror as needed. It will cure all the germs away, obviously, but you must stand still to make it work (and flex). This also had diagrams of flexing.
Step 4: Congratulations! You are now odour and sickness free!
Charlotte, America, and Pandora, appreciators of true hot men, were sitting, with a whole table, pencils, and scoring cards. Yes, they were scoring you.
The cards read something like:
Cleanliness: /10
Good hair: /10
Nice shave: /10
Rugged nature: /10
Good abs: /10
Charisma: /10
Jailbait: /10
Hott butt: /10
Sexiness: /10
Overall hotness: /10 OOC THE MALE VIEWING PANEL IS OPEN!! - All guys are free to enter, and use the items inside, unbenknownst to the fact that the three are judging them, silently, for hotness. - Also any girls are free to enter the back. All Deus girls (most) who were interested got a text saying that they were doing a male viewing panel with judging. Charlotte is waiting in the back and any girls who enter she will invite. The can then come in to judge any guys that enter. GUYS: STEP 1: Try on any of the products in the booth STEP 2: Try it on SHIRTLESS (hey it is a very private booth, surely noone is watching you) and try on the stuff! There is a mirror inside for you to flex! And admire yourself! Step 3: Exit when you feel satisfied about your hygiene. GIRLS: Step 1: Enter through the back thanks to a text invite for anyone interested in HOT GUYS. Charlotte is waiting for you and will sneak you in. Step 2: Go to the panel and JUDGE ANY MAN AWAY (that is inside the private booth) Step 3: Stay as long as you want! Use the form to judge Cleanliness: /10
Good hair: /10
Nice shave: /10
Rugged nature: /10
Good abs: /10
Charisma: /10
Jailbait: /10
Hott butt: /10
Sexiness: /10
Overall hotness: /10
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Posted: Thu Oct 24, 2013 6:18 pm
Never in the history of Maebe's entire life, had an event been tailored so perfectly to her needs. She sat down and grabbed herself a judging form, tapped a pencil on the table, and leaning in impatiently.
"Whoever thought this up, I just want to say, thank you for being born."
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Posted: Thu Oct 24, 2013 6:32 pm
Al was the first unwitting subject. He wandered into the cafeteria to try and see about stealing a bunch of applesauce packets. Instead, he was met with flashing lights and an automated voice screeching at him about smelling so bad he'd kill a horse. Before he could string together a retort, he was now being told he was diseased and cancerous. Does cancer even work that way?
It persisted and his will wavered. "Fine! Whatever!" he scolded the disembodied voice.
He proceeded to step one and... very clearly went around the old spice in favor of Axe. Though the brand seemed incorrectly labeled, he did recognise the packaging. He then ducked into the private booth. He peered into the mirror in confusion. He did look a bit like he needed a bath but... ehh... product took care of that, right? He leaned back to examine the follow up diagrams.
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Posted: Thu Oct 24, 2013 7:15 pm
After receiving an extra special text message from Pandora that mostly just said "ABS. CAFETERIA. NOW", that was really all Abbi needed to be there in exactly five minutes. With a rather unsure flail she rushed over to Pandora, waving frantically at her friend. There were others there (hey! Look at that super duper cute red head! And the Moon leader lady! Hi both of you awesome ladies!), but aside from a hesitant wave at the other two, Abbi kept her attention on her friend. Or, well, more importantly, pointing between her friend and the booth.
"This is a box. This is not abs." This was not what the text message had promised. Abbi was not impressed.
Not until she was ushered behind the booth to see... A dude. Inside the booth.
There was someone here already so Abbi took up a clipboard as well and founr herself a seat, tilting her head this way and that before she blinked twice.
"There will be more abs. Right?"
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Posted: Thu Oct 24, 2013 7:26 pm
"If you build it," Pandora whispered to Abbi, "Abs will come."
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Posted: Thu Oct 24, 2013 7:47 pm
Al eventually figured out he was supposed to remove his shirt for this to work apparently. Hunter s**t was weird. He slid his scarf and coat off and eventually his shirt joined the same fate.
Beneath it all he was a skinny and mostly hairless kid still.
He practically oiled himself up with the product until almost his entire top half was shiny. He then flexed his little heart out, shifting from single arm flexes before delving right into double-arm-abs flex. He tried to follow the diagrams exactly.
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Posted: Thu Oct 24, 2013 7:52 pm
America flipped to Al's profile, and began making little notes in the margins.
Poor stick kid lol.
Someone should feed him.
I hope he liked his bracelet.
Kind of a princess, 9/10 for carrying off.
Follows instructions well.
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Posted: Thu Oct 24, 2013 7:57 pm
As an expert authority in viewing and scoring multiple hot men with chiseled abs, occasionally for her own enjoyment, it made perfect sense for Mimsy to receive that text. Okay, really, she wasn't sure how it found its way to her phone, but it had. It was neither curiosity nor any desire to see shirtless men that drew her towards the booth in the cafeteria - it was a determination to make sure that nobody tried to waste her time in such a ridiculous fashion ever, ever again. But her frustrated expression was gone as soon as she saw America in the secret girls only no boys allowed portion of the booth, replaced by intrigue. She blinked and examined their setup with a thoughtful hmm. "Expanding the set of data for your scale?" she quietly asked her, raising her eyebrows.
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Posted: Thu Oct 24, 2013 8:03 pm
Oh, look. A contestant. Al was smart to go first, because there was nothing to compare him by yet. It would surely give him a curve for his scores. Maebe started scribbling furiously. She took her job very, very seriously. Quote: Cleanliness:8/10 Good hair: 8/10 Nice shave: 6/10 Rugged nature: 2/10 Good abs: 4/10 Charisma: 5/10 Jailbait: 7/10 Hott butt confused ?/10 (If only he would turn around.) Sexiness: 5/10 Overall hotness: 7/10 (Would bang if desperate.) Side notes were an important part of the process.
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Posted: Thu Oct 24, 2013 8:11 pm
America gave her a serious look and firm nod, answering quietly, "Since it's an island and all, may as well keep tabs on the limited amount of menfolk. It's easy enough, really, and a good enough start. Plus look at how obedient he is and ready to preen." She gestured toward Al, "That information's just as useful as his current ab stat."
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Posted: Thu Oct 24, 2013 8:16 pm
Al finally flashed a bit of that badonk-a-donk as he turned away to redress and exit the booth.
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Posted: Thu Oct 24, 2013 8:24 pm
Quote: Hott butt:8/10 (Extra points for reading my mind.)
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Posted: Thu Oct 24, 2013 10:35 pm
Charlotte was drawing musical notations on what should have been Al's "hotness" notes when the curtains opened up again-
-Revealing the Sun lead in all his white pants with belt and Titan gear glory. Somehow he was able to fit his relatively tall frame, gear and all into the booth. He was holding one Axe an one Old Spice body deodorant and then placed them to one side, using the hair gel instead to make sure his hair was perfectly anime.
After five minutes of making sure each hair spike was perfectly anime, he finally noticed the diagram. Allan scrutinized it carefully, squinted, looked thoughtful, and finally in a burst of understanding, tore off his jacket and shirt to reveal-
- a wifebeater underneath. A wifebeater with a Pikachu emblazoned on it. Feeling proud that he had paid attention to the signs and read instructions carefully, he decided to pose, angling his arms so they almost hit the top of the stand, paused, examined his pose in the mirror, and re-adjusted his Ginga Densetsu Blaster Y Launcher 3000 Ray of Friendship pose.
Five more minutes of this and he put everything back on, then looked around with a rather sneaky expression unbefitting of the Sun lead-
- And pulled out his Nintendo 3DS, confident no one was observing his little lapse of self indulgence. Some poor Life sap probably had to modify the 3DS so that it could specifically run Pokemon X and Y. Thankfully Allan was facing away from the mirror, enough to reveal that he had a level 70 Pikachu and was, for another 5 minutes, casting growl at the level 2 Kakuna. He had gotten stuck in the forest on the way to the first gym, but that was okay because it was all about bonding with his pokemon. Friendship triumphed over all!
Finally, feeling a lot more curbed of his Pokemon addiction, the Sun lead exited the unbeknownst (to him, not that he would have cared much) viewing room, placing the borrowed objects randomly on the table before affixing all the bottles with Pokemon stickers. He posed one more time for effort and them barreled through a few trainees in his gusto to fight all the Titans post break.
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