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 Posted: Wed Sep 25, 2013 9:25 pm
Nevada didn't even wait for Ian to come to her, and although he said he would claim cuddles, she desperately needed someone to cling to for just the moment.
With Finn, and the knowledge of Stormy's ex somewhere on the Island plus Poison from the Titan effecting her system, she just badly wanted to talk to someone about the issues who wasn't her bestie and roommate.
And talking to Ian always seemed to help.
She snuck into his room, close to his bed and leaned down, poking at the form on the bed. Hopefully it was Ian and not well placed pillows.
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Posted: Thu Sep 26, 2013 2:51 pm
Two days after the incident and Ian was still only half asleep, unable to do much more than lie there and pretend that closing his eyes would make him able to forget everything that had happened; that by lying here he'd be able to somehow drift off into a deep and dreamless sleep unhindered by unwanted anxieties.
So far that hadn't happened yet.
Ian curled on his side beneath the blankets, breathing slowly. There were a few streaks of a faintly glowing blue on his face, right beneath his eyes, thanks to Shiloh's ministrations, and he felt somewhat feverish still, but other than that he hoped it wasn't too bad.
He heard the door creak open, but Ian didn't move, too tired and uncaring to actually move. Soft footsteps padded across the room, and then a hand touched his shoulder, poking him.
Ian rolled over, catching sight of Nevada standing over him. Without a word, he lifted one arm and the blanket, dark circles beneath his eyes.
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Posted: Thu Sep 26, 2013 4:52 pm
Nevada let out a small sigh of relief as the covers lifted, the invitation open and smoothed her way under them, curling herself much like a cat next to him. "Hey there handsome." She whispered, reaching out to move some of his hair from his head. The barest of touches confirmed that like her, he was suffering some of the poison effects. "Glad to see you alive." She murmured, "almost worried I wouldn't see you again."
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Posted: Thu Sep 26, 2013 5:45 pm
Tiredly, he lowered his arm so that it wrapped around her waist comfortably. It was just one more of the benefits of having someone like Nevada around - an endless source of warmth and comfort with absolutely zero desire for a romantic entanglement.
Her fingers felt cool against his forehead. Ian closed his eyes.
"I thought you and the others were dead," he said quietly, exhaling with a sigh. "Jeez. Don't you freaking bastards ever scare me like that again, you here?"
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Posted: Thu Sep 26, 2013 10:03 pm
Her hand stayed up to brush his hair back from his face, It was one: A comfort for herself to play with someone else to distract her hands and two: soothing in its own sense to him. She had promised a massage too after all. This was just a gentle scalp one.
And much like Ian, she enjoyed the moment for just what it was. There was no lust, no thoughts to tangle it into anything more than it what it was simply. Two people sharing each other's heat.
She chuckled a little, keeping a green eye focused on him. "I wish I could say that I had it handled but..." She closed her own eye, "I thought I was dead too. I thought I was going to die a slow digestion kind of death, kind of thought to myself, way to go out Nevada. Getting eaten. A+" Her voice was low, and laced with a sort of regretful humor. "I can't promise that one Handsome." Her hands stilled in his hair, "But I will do my damned best not to die."
She went quiet for a bit, allowing herself a moment to relax and enjoy. To savor these few moments that almost felt normal. To enjoy her friendship while she still had one.
"I'm scared I'm starting to care about people too much Ian...." She admitted after a long stretch. "for a long time...I only cared about my twin. But now there is Stormy, Gale, and Otto...Tuck. Sherry and Jake. Chelsea, Abbi. You. These people that I keep getting attached too....It's making it hard to accept one day, I will lose someone...or I will be lost to them..."
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Posted: Thu Sep 26, 2013 10:14 pm
It was strange; it reminded him of Angie, the gentle, soothing touches, but then it also reminded him of other memories that were much sweeter, less tainted by the black that swirled around Angie. Sometimes he tried not to think of his ex, but she had been one of the few that had stuck with him for as long as she had, and although he might not have been in love with her (that sort of thing did not exist in his world, not anymore), he had loved her.
In his own way; as much as he could possibly lower the guard around his heart. Ian curled himself towards Nevada almost automatically, his eyes still closed, his arm resting lightly around her waist. He thought maybe if he opened them, he might have to face what he didn't want to, but keeping them closed wasn't exactly a walk in the park either.
He opened them, just a little, his chest feeling oddly tight, because it was somewhat like Nevada was speaking everything he was feeling already - though his view was much narrower, his world much smaller, less populated than hers was.
"That's why I don't make a point of being familiar with anyone," Ian said, attempting to laugh it off, but the sound was slightly bitter sounding, and he pressed his lips together, lapsing into a silence that stretched out in front of them.
Finally, he said quietly, "That's why I never wanted to get close to anyone. Why do you think I kept my distance from everyone so far? I don't want to feel that."
Except it wasn't working and he knew it, because he had already started to care.
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Posted: Thu Sep 26, 2013 10:49 pm
"It's too late for that...." She stilled her hand, watching his green eyes that mirrored that same sort of disbelief, the same trepidation and wariness that she felt mirrored inside her.
Just because she had more, and he less didn't make their feelings anymore different or the same. To be honest, as she looked at Ian, she felt like she was being mirrored, except a man.
A man with more around his heart than she thought she had. Those little barriers. Those days where she would build them so high that it was easy too lose track of when she was seriously interested in someone...or just being friendly because manners demanded it.
"I thought I could use people." She returned to the gentle massage of his hair. "We are the Island temporary. I had a way of thinking. I didn't care about anyone so long as my twin slept. I didn't care about anyone but her...." Nevada mumbled, "And I would use people. I just didn't want to get myself attached...."
"And now I can't feel like I don't want to care." Her hand tightened in his hair, not enough to hurt, just enough to symbolize her distress before she released him and let her hand fall to the back of his neck, resting there. "What do we do Ian?" She whispered, half her joking, and also not. "Do we try not to care?"
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Posted: Wed Oct 02, 2013 12:29 pm
He knew it was too late, had known it from the moment he had set foot on the island. In spite of everything, in spite of the fact that he had wanted to be careless and carefree and loose, in spite of the fact that he had built the Great Wall of Ian around his heart and his emotions, they were already beginning to crumble.
Ian gave a soft snort. "I didn't care about anyone at all, not even my siblings. And I still don't, at least not for them. I don't care for those people at all, so when I came here it was liberating. It was like I could be something different, and no one would ever be the wiser."
Except he'd gotten attached, just like that. Ian gave a small sigh, a little hiss escaping through his teeth, and he smoothed a hand along Nevada's back in almost idle gestures. "I tried that," he said dully. "I tried not caring, and hell, I'ms till trying, as hard as I can. But..."
It hurt to think. Ian exhaled ********. What is wrong with us."
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Posted: Wed Oct 02, 2013 4:51 pm
"I understand at least half of those feelings. I spent too much time caring about why my father treated me the way he did, that when I ran away....I never wanted to go back. I was carefree, I didn't have to have people around." She sighed.
"A lot." She chuckled now, resting her forehead on his and closing her eye.
"I think I made a mistake...because I care too much." She exhaled a shaky breath.
"I attacked another hunter without getting all my facts. I know I am not wrong...at least not half way wrong...."
She opened her eye again.
"I threatened his new beginning in the name of a friend, and now wonder why...." She clutched at his clothes, holding it firmly. "I threatened him because of what I half way heard about Stormy's past life."
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Posted: Fri Oct 04, 2013 9:54 am
He still didn't want to be around people, but simultaneously he needed to be. There was this odd sort of disconnect between his brain and his heart that made everything just that much more difficult. Patrick was dead and gone, and he'd taken a part of Ian with him, whether he admitted it or not.
Nevada's forehead was warm against his, Ian exhaling slowly. He curled his arms around her waist and pulled her close, pressing a kiss to her forehead briefly. "You did it because you cared," he said quietly, and that was the whole point, that was what the fundamental problem was.
How long was it going to be until he did the exact same thing?
Ian smoothed a hand down Nevada's face, then curved himself towards her, burying his face into her shoulder, not wanting to think anymore, because thinking was painful. Thinking hurt too much, and he'd always tried to avoid putting himself into these situations.
Except he was already in it now; he could get out, he supposed, but at what cost? And did he really even want to?
He knew the answer to that question without needing to say it aloud.
"We're just a couple of sentimental idiots," said Ian, with a small, bitter laugh.
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Posted: Fri Oct 04, 2013 5:24 pm
"It seems caring too much might get me in trouble..." She teased. She brought her hand back up to Ian's head, playing with his hair much like a older woman would to a child. Back to that soothing motions.
It wasn't right to bother him when he was so tired, and sick from the poison.
She was quiet for a long while, not sure how to phrase her next question.
"What was it like to have a soul mate?" She kept her hand lightly playing in his, almost murmuring the question.
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Posted: Fri Oct 04, 2013 9:26 pm
He thought about her question for a long time, longer than it had taken her to ask it in the first place; and when he spoke again, his voice was lower, a little rougher, as though the memories were difficult to grasp, hidden away in the recesses of his mind.
"...it was like knowing a part of your soul was outside of your body and standing in front of you," Ian said, closing his eyes. "It was like looking into a mirror and seeing yourself, except with a different face, a different voice, a different personality, and yet you still were the same in all the ways that counted. It's indescribable; it's a mess of chaos and confusion and it's sometimes annoying and sometimes beautiful and it was everything and anything."
He knew the descriptions were abstract, vague even. But there seemed to be no real words to define the relationship he'd had with Patrick, no real sense of how to describe something that was, for the most part, indescribable. What they'd had was not romantic, but something else entirely, something that stretched beyond the normal limitations, at least in his mind.
"It was real," Ian said finally, and exhaled a long breath.
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Posted: Sun Oct 20, 2013 11:46 pm
Nevada continued her easy brushing motion against him. It didn't still as he spoke, because she was mindlessly doing it while she listened. She absorbed what he said and the feeling it was in it.
Part of her was jealous, that he got to see, feel...be near someone that resonated so strongly with him. She had Alaska, but it was different at the same time. They shared a soul, but weren't soul mates. If that made sense. They were two halves of one big whole while being drastically different as well.
She felt sad that it was taken from him, that it caused so much feeling and it just ripped away.
She hugged him tight under the covers.
"So is everyone in Canada really nice?" She said suddenly, to change the subject from the mess of feelings. "And is your Mexican stand off really standing at a door waiting for the other person to go in it first?"
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