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Posted: Fri Sep 13, 2013 3:56 pm
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Posted: Fri Sep 13, 2013 11:33 pm
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After the match for the Intercontinental championship is done being hyped by the ringside announcers, both in English and Spanish, the lights throughout the arena go black. After a few moments of heat from the expectant audience, Awake and Alive plays, as bright white strobe lights flash on and off in tune to the song’s orchestral opening. As the percussion picks up, sending a shower of white sparks up the sides of the ramp, Jimmy Monera appears on the catwalk, his championship casually slung over his left shoulder. The flashing lights reflect dazzlingly off of the embroidered golden crosses on his white jacket as he takes a knee, Tebow-style, and motions a cross over his chest. Having done this, he pops to his feet, and begins to move down the ramp, holding his arms out invitingly to the audience as he advances.
“The following match is scheduled for one fall, and it is for the WWF Intercontinental Championship! Introducing first, the champion! From Detroit Michigan, weighing in at 207 lbs, Jimmy “The Avatar” Monera!”
Upon reaching the bottom, he climbs the steel steps, and enters the ring under the bottom rope. Jimmy climbs a turnbuckle, and addressing the WWF Universe directly, he motions the cross again, this time across the face of the Intercontinental championship. Satisfied, he jumps down, and as his music fades, he produces a microphone from inside his jacket.
“You know something? Saving the world from itself isn’t easy. You try to share the joy and peace of mind that God’s salvation has brought to your life with the general populace, and all they do is spit at you, throw beverages at you, and tell you to keep your beliefs to yourself. And I’m sad to say, there aren’t as many people fighting the good fight as there used to be. Sure, we still have the majority of the republican party on our side... We still have Kirk Cameron trying to spread the faith... We even have the Westboro Baptist Church being unfairly demonized for taking the truth and making it public. And here I am, one man, trying to spread the faith through the only televised form of media that gives mainstream attention to personalities such as mine. I do what I can, of course... And this title has helped out quite a bit.”
He strokes the face of the Intercontinental championship, making sure the cameras get a good shot of it. “Instead of seeking out the sinners of this company, this title has done all the work of attracting them towards me. It brought me Jamie rock, a man plagued with the sin of pride, so that I could humiliate him. It brought me Ryan the Lion, a man plagued by the sin of sloth, so that I could show him what effort looked like. But tonight... I regret to inform you all that tonight is not about The Lord. It is not about salvation. Tonight’s match is personal.
“You see, I may have won this title at Wrestlemania, but I didn’t beat the champion to do it. Oh, no. While the rightful champion was being distracted by some pretend psychopath, I snuck into the ring and pinned Cyrus Darke, a man who disappointed me not only as a wrestler, but as a fellow Christian. Hell, in our tag team match from the following show, I didn’t even get to beat Pantera then... Because that match ended when my partner, Brody Robinson, defeated Jamie Rock. And that is why I will NOT have God at ringside with me tonight. This is going to be my third encounter with Pantera, and it is the night that I WILL defeat him. Tonight, Pantera, God will turn his back, and I will beat you so badly that even Chris Brown would call it brutal. Now get out here, so we can put an end to this.
"Oh, and one more thing. I don't know why you brought your tag team partner with you to your #1 contender's match, but please, do us all a favor and leave him behind this time."
Having said his piece, Jimmy hands his title, microphone, and jacket off to a stage hand, and waits in the middle of the ring for Pantera to arrive.
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Posted: Sat Sep 14, 2013 5:26 am
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Posted: Sat Sep 14, 2013 3:37 pm
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Posted: Sat Sep 14, 2013 9:53 pm
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Posted: Mon Sep 16, 2013 12:56 am
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Posted: Mon Sep 16, 2013 1:11 am
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Posted: Tue Sep 17, 2013 1:18 am
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Posted: Tue Sep 17, 2013 4:09 am
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Posted: Wed Sep 18, 2013 3:04 am
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Posted: Wed Sep 18, 2013 3:51 am
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Posted: Thu Sep 19, 2013 1:48 am
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Posted: Thu Sep 19, 2013 3:43 am
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Posted: Fri Sep 20, 2013 1:47 pm
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