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Senshi: Sailor Zaniah, chibi senshi of orbits.

Challenge: I'll send you into orbit!

Fuku Colour:
Bodice: White
Primary Color: Gold - #fec765
Secondary Colors: #a2565b and #5f5063

Fuku:

There's a reference to the left but the colors do not reflect what they actually should be, and the tiara isn't accurate. The dress should be white, and the sash and the neckerchief should be the same color. I'm also not super-attached to this design -- please feel free to do something different if the mood strikes you!

Collar -- A plain sailor collar with 2 white stripes.
Bow -- A broach-button in the center of her short-sleeved jacket serves as the front bow-replacement. She has a sash around the center of her waist that ties neatly into a small bow in the back.
Bodice -- A short-sleeved cropped jacket over a short dress trimmed with a single layer of ruffles. It is up to the artist what colors should go where! (Even though the picture has her in a gray dress, it should be white per fuku rules.)
Sleeves -- The cropped jacket has short, puffy sleeves.
Brooch -- Round and golden.
Bottoms -- Since she's wearing a mid-thigh length A-line dress under her cropped jacket, the "bottoms" would be the bottom of the dress.
Tiara -- Her tiara is essentially a string of jewels strung over her hair. It goes over her hair, and her bangs can be parted around the center of it.
Choker -- A short tied neckerchief around her neck.
Shoes -- I'm not very good with shoes, so, uh, plain... boots? Maybe with some cute socks? Sneakers even?
Gloves -- No gloves!
Accessories -- N/A


Attacks:

Sailor Scout Attack: Dizzy Kaleidoscope Swirl!
To use: Small orbs of different-colored energy appear around her head like a halo. She twirls around on one toe, and stops suddenly with her arms outstretched. The orbs compress into a much bigger one at the tips of her fingers, and then radiate outwards as a beam of colored light. Zaniah can use this once per battle, but not on the same target.

Effect: Inflicts minor vertigo, the sort of feeling you get when you've been spun around really fast. The duration of the beam is about 10 seconds as long as her hands remain in the same position as they ended in the attack. Depending on the strength of the person she's using it against, it ranges from a minor distraction (giving her enough time to run away or let a teammate charge in) to a laughable visual effect.

Drawback: It has a very short range (3 feet), and it is hard to aim. Because it is essentially a beam that shoots out from her hands, she has to be actively aiming towards the person, and they only experience the effect so long as they're in the way -- all they have to do is step out of the way to shake off the effects of her attack.

Super Sailor Scout Attack: Dizzy Kaleidoscope Swirl!
To use: Her dust-halo transforms into stars of different-colored Small star-shaped pockets of differently-colored energy form around her head like a halo. She twirls around on one toe, and stops suddenly with her arms outstretched. The orbs compress into a much bigger one at the tips of her fingers, and then radiate outwards as a beam of colored star shapes. Zaniah can use this twice per battle, but not on the same target.

Effect: The beam can reach about 5 feet, and will continually radiate from her hands for about 20 seconds. Inflicts vertigo on anyone standing in the way. The vertigo is the sort of feeling you get when you get spun around really quickly, and depending on the constitution of the character, can make them feel queasy and sick to the stomach. Depending on the strength of the person she's using it against, it can range from a minor distraction (giving her enough time to run away or let a teammate charge in), to a move that momentarily debilitates the enemy for 2-3 seconds.)

Drawback: Although she may be better at aiming by now, it still has a short range.

Eternal Sailor Attack: Heavy Star Blitz!
To use: Sailor Zaniah thrusts her hair up towards the sky, fingers spread, then makes a fist and pounds it into the ground. Golden-coloured energy begins to swirl underneath her first and expands out rapidly. After two seconds, it fades away, and the effects of her attack begins. Zaniah can use this once per battle.

Effect: Draws anything in a 10-foot radius that weighs less than 10 pounds into orbit 1 foot away from her, with a maximum of 20 objects.

Drawback: She doesn't exactly get to choose what comes towards her, and she certainly can't control their trajectory. Heavier objects will come hurling towards her faster than slower ones, and have a faster orbit around her. It's useful for... picking up objects, maybe? Playing bumper cars with other senshi? Note that sharp things like knives wouldn't be useful in this situation, because they would be spinning and not-fixed in position -- they would basically bounce off of other people that come into contact with them.

Hi there, Kao here to do you critique. I remember your girl from another shop and use to remember thinking she was so so cute! Let's try to get you stamped shall we!

Civilian:

Hobbies:

I would suggesting changing shortening the first to just physical activity, the general is not really needed I think. Also seeing as she is ten, she should be even if she is usually small be able to have a bike with training wheels. I've got an six year old cousin who looks like he's about 2-3 size wise but he can ride a bike like a champ. They seriously come in all sizes nowadays.

For cartoons, super heros, and awful music, please separate them out and detail them as their own individual hobbies. They way they are now are just things that she likes and dont come across as hobbies. For cartoons, does she have favorites, that are the only thing she can sit still for, does she collect all the toys, have all the sheets and now all the character names and maybe even voice actors. They same could be said for super heroes, but also adding that the past few summers have been thrilling and she's seen every super hero movie thats come out from Captain America, to Man of Steel and she is very excited possibly about the upcoming Thor. Maybe she has a super hero calender with movies dates scrawled all over it.

Virtues:

Energetic, reads more like Can Do Attitude or Determined and my only suggestion for it would be to change the name to one of those to, or something along those lines.

For admiring, it just needs a little expansion. Does she compliment people a lot, all starry eyes and awe faced? Does you imitate the things she admire or maybe copy them. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery they say.

Flaws:

For Thoughtless I would again suggest change the name, it doesn't read as her being without though or inconsiderate. Maybe Dim, might be a better word or Slow on the Uptake. Something that comes across as more her having a hard time grasping concepts.

Powered:

For her fuku, its adorable, but I would like to note to things. I certain the crop jacket wouldn't count as her bodice, but instead her dress, so the dress would need to be white, but the jacket can certainly be another color. Also I do not think the tiara will be allowed to orbit around her head. I believe it must be attached. Its also a little too magical.

Sailor and Super attacks. I like the attack and think the power works will and is an appropriate attack for a chibi and the draw backs are reasonable. You will need to give a duration for the effect and the range (ft) for the attack. For the super, please write the attack out, giving its own duration and range.

For the mechanics, as the tiara can't be removed before princess stage, in the shop, I am going to say the mechanics will need to be changed not to include the tiara in the attack.

Her eternal attack is very cute and seems very appropriate, again you need a duration for the attack as well as a maximum amount of items she can draw to her. It usefulness seem more for keeping someone away from your girl, than picking up an object. Anyone trying to get close to her, has to get past the orbit.

Quote me when you are ready for a second look over.

The changes you made look very nice! There are just a few small things and you will be good for a stamp.

For her polite virtue, what sort of polite are you referring to. It seems less manner and etiquette and more children should be seen and not heard and only speak when spoken to. This is fine, but it needs to be broadened some. Does she always say please and thankful, never speak out of turn, hold doors open for the elderly, tries to be punctual, if you don't have anything nice to say dont say anything at all ... that sort of thing? Right now it reads more like she tries to avoid social drama somewhat.

For her basic and super attacks, would you please explain what you mean by mild vertigo? Do you mean experiences a slight dizziness like vertigo, that makes one feel like they were spinning as though they were in orbit? If so please reword it to that effect, so it is more specific.

Quote me back when you are ready for another look!

Congrats on winning you girly, she is quite precious! All the changes look good and everything seems to be in order! So here have a stamp! Once you have your art rp your heart out!