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Halili was not in her den. She couldn't think in the stifling environment at the pride's heart. Not to mention she was far too easily found there. The lioness didn't really want to talk to most people at the moment, not since her falling out with and subsequent avoidance of her father and, more recently, Shangyue's announcement.

She had been invited to join the Royal Guards. And it wasn't some quiet invitation either. No, this had been an announcement made before the entire pride. She hadn't dared look at Orion's face to see how he took it. It was only force of will that had kept the beige lioness there while Shangyue explained as much as he was inclined to about the job before fleeing at the first opportunity.

Yes, she had begrudged the upper classes for how they looked down upon hers. But was she really willing to betray the ethics and morals her parents had taught her just for a bit of regard? Well, there was no saying how often she'd be asked to do something...questionable...but if she did accept, she could be commanded to do so at the drop of a leaf by Shangyue.

Halili sighed gustily, looking out at the expanse of the land before her. At some point within her sight the Mwezi'Johari's territory ended and the rogue lands began. It was a beautiful view.

The worst part of the whole announcement was that she still hadn't found the right moment to tell Orion about her part that night. It wasn't as if her mate needed her protection - he was significantly older than she was - but he was still a quiet, gentle soul and she didn't want to worry him with the turmoil in her heart. Didn't want to admit that there were times when she would rather be anything other than a slave. Didn't want to admit the resentment she felt towards the other classes. For Orion, she wanted to only be the happy, bubbly lioness he'd taught how to hunt.

But she hadn't been able to keep that secret or tell him, because Shangyue had made it clear to the pride that she'd done something to support him. And that hadn't even been her intention! How had everything become such a mess?

Halili sighed again. She really should go find Orion and apologize to him and explain. She had no idea what she'd say to him, but maybe the words would come when she found him. The lioness got to her feet and turned to head back towards the pride when she saw a familiar figure coming towards her.

"Orion?" she gasped.

He'd come out of nowhere, like the proverbial hero of old, just when she needed him most...Halili had taken several steps towards her mate when she remembered what had happened. What she hadn't told him. She hadn't lied, but the lioness knew that she had deliberately avoided telling him. And not just the once, but several times she'd had opportunities over the past several days, and each time she'd backed down.

The lioness stared at her paws, trying to figure out what to do, trying to summon up the courage to speak to him, to let the truth flow from her lips. And she was still so scared of what he'd say or do. She hated to disappoint him, especially since she loved him so very much.

She wrenched her eyes shut, reaching deep inside for the courage she knew had to be there. How else could she have stood so calmly in front of her own father when he'd been in a towering rage the likes of which she'd never seen before in her life? Compared to this, that had been easy. Simplicity itself.

"Orion," she began hesitantly, "there's something...I...should have told you."

Progress. Baby steps. She could do this. She hoped.

Halili noticed when he opened his mouth and waited eagerly to hear what her mate had to say. Anything to put off having to speak herself. Unfortunately...he closed it again and though she waited longer than necessary, no words were forthcoming. The lioness sighed. It seemed that she had to go on.

"That...night. When Shangyue was looking for Stellaluna. I...didn't tell you everything." It was so, so hard to even say that much, and the beige lioness fought with herself for every phrase, every word she uttered. She knew she should just spit it out, but it was just too difficult.

And it wasn't so simple that she could just blurt it out either. Because she hadn't done it for Shangyue, no matter what the Heir thought. Maybe she'd let the sudden attention of the other classes go to her head, she couldn't even begin to enunciate what had motivated her that night. But she had to go on. She had to come clean. Halili took a deep breath.

"Father attacked Shangyue. He...I think he meant to kill him. One of the other Guards stopped him." Her lips closed over what happened next and she stood there, staring at the ground, afraid and yet still unable to go on.

"Yes, and me too," she echoed, nodding. "It was...wait!" It had just penetrated that Orion had...had somehow known what she had done! Or maybe he just knew her that well. But...she couldn't be certain. The lioness looked up, facing her mate squarely once more.

"How did you know that?" she asked him. There was more concern than suspicion in her voice. Halili wanted to think that he knew her, not that he knew what had happened. He hadn't been there after all, and she hadn't told him about this when he'd asked what had happened that night!

Of course. She should have known. But Halili had been so intent on avoiding her father in the intervening days, that she'd never once thought that he might go so far as to tell Orion what had happened. Of course, before she could even begin to become indignant, the lioness had to admit that her father had probably found Orion while looking for her. He'd said as much that night, that he wanted to talk to her, and she'd made sure to stay as far away as possible, dreading that conversation as much as she'd been dreading this one.

The lioness looked at the ground and tried to get her thoughts in order. When she could speak again, the words came pouring out.

"When he pushed aside the other Guard, I did go and stand in front of him, blocking his path to Shangyue. If I hadn't, he'd have charged again. And if Shangyue's other loyalists hadn't managed to stop him, he'd have been killed," she related dully. "So I did the only thing I could think of."

Halili raised her eyes to Orion's once more, and this time tears blurred her vision as she wordlessly begged her beloved mate to believe her and support her once more.

"I have no idea!" she wailed, the tears beginning to flow down her cheeks. "I mean, you may not have noticed, but lions in other classes, especially the uppermost ones, treat us like...like we're lesser creatures! But I don't know that I want to do something as awful as murdering people just because Shangyue or Firaga orders me to!" Her words were thickened through her tears as the lioness let loose a flood of words.

"I told Father that Shangyue was our King - I mean, even now he hasn't been crowned but it was obvious what was going to happen even then. Conveniently everyone between him and the throne is killed? And I don't know about you, but I don't think any of the other Princes or Princesses have ever shown the kind of initiative they'd need to stop him. So I wouldn't get out of the way - I couldn't! - and I made sure to point out how outnumbered Father was. He doesn't usually act without thinking things through...so I had to make him stop and think..." Halili trailed off, panting with the exertion of her tears and her confession.

"You...do believe me...don't you Orion?" she begged of him.

It was a relief to hear that Orion did believe her, and it helped assure Halili that she'd done the right thing in finally confessing the truth about that night. But she'd still kept it a secret for several days...and this...this invitation...

She had no idea what to do. Even now. But it looked like she had her mate back and that was a blessing. Halili had been terrified that Orion might hate her after what had happened, especially when she discovered her father had told him about her part in it, and that he might want to leave her. And she wouldn't have been able to blame him if he had. She probably would have done it, in his place.

"I just...don't know what to do," she murmured, sniffling. "Joining the Royal Guard...I wouldn't be some lesser creature anymore...but I don't know if it would be worth it..."