My boyfriend and I are now just friends despite the fact we're still in love. It's the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life. Fact of the matter is he is straight, very very straight. Although I have yet to start my transition it would be harder on him if we stayed together. It's been a few days since and we are still talking like usual but we both agree that we feel somewhat "off" without that added element of the relationship.
My mom thinks I'm confused and I don't really want to be a boy. I use to wear dresses all the time before, not because I felt comfortable in them but because I though it was what she wanted. My mom is kind of like the diet coke version of a pageant mom, and I hate disappointing her. Even still it felt more like drag to me, it was fun sometimes being able to connect with her about girl stuff but not how I wanted to be. Trying to tell her I've always felt like a guy in a dress is super hard, especially since she thinks because I like men I should just not bother transitioning. Really though this is a far better reaction then what I could of asked for.
Dad, he's hurt. He said that until I start T I will be his little girl. From a religious Portuguese father I think that its a really good reaction on his part. I've always been super close to my dad, he's my idol and my best friend so I know that this is going to be really hard on him. I just hope he understands in the long run.
I guess the point of this is I just wanted to tell this to someone for completely selfish reasons. It was the scariest thing I have ever done in my life but I feel so much better now and my stress level is almost non existent!
I figured if there was ever a place to post this it was here. I dunno, maybe it'll make some of my closeted brothers and sisters feel a bit better about things. Coming out is hard, but in the end it makes you feel so much better!
Feelin good guys!
I'm sorry to the people I love but I just don't want to be someone I'm not for another day
