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 Posted: Sun Jul 21, 2013 5:36 pm
(Note: This rp takes place directly after Ryan and Neil's 14th journal entries)
The darkness of the trees in the park provided no shelter for a meek soul such as Ryan's. His heart raced, his hands were sweaty, and his feet seemed to drag along behind him. The moon shone brightly above his head, casting further shadowing upon his purple locks and wide, terrified eyes. He wasn't sure if he had outrun the danger yet, or if he really wanted to outrun it at all, but all that was certain to him was -
He didn't want to get hurt by doing nothing.
"Gaaa-Aaaah!" He cried, having slipped on a stray twig. He landed on his side with a dull thud, and quickly began to shudder. Great, now he was wide open for attack! What was he going to do now?
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Posted: Sun Jul 21, 2013 5:46 pm
"Ryaaaan?! Ryaaaaan?" Neil cried. His blue eyes were laden with tears as they searched high a low for his best friend. He knew he had seen him, he had heard him run away, and he knew very well why Ryan was running away. Ryan thought he was a monster, a ruthless, angry monster, that only wanted to beat him up! Why would he think anything different of him after what he had done to Abel? Abel was their closest friend, their third musketeer, and Neil had thrown him out like a bag of trash! What sort of good could come out of someone so evil like himself?
He hovered, clutching his wounded arm to his side, and scratched it out of sheer anger at himself. Causing himself pain seemed to be the only way he could focus, rethink, and envision himself getting back to his former self. When he felt pain, he felt sad, and when he felt sad, it reminded him of the comfort of his family and friends, and they brought him out of his upset. But now that Ryan was running from him, who was there to love him but Aureole, who could be miles away still deep in a coma? His eyes gazed forward and caught a glimpse of Ryan's fall, and he crept forward, before crouching down a few feet from him.
"I don't want to hurt you..." He assured, reaching a bloody hand towards his fallen friend. "...I'm sorry..."
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Posted: Sun Jul 21, 2013 6:03 pm
"Don't come any closer!" Ryan squealed, shuffling himself away from Neil. Though the pair were a good six feet away from each other, Ryan felt the need to put more distance between them. What if Neil pounced on him?! He wasn't going to take that chance, not for a million dollars! Brown eyes darted from side to side in a vain attempt of finding a way to escape, but ultimately fell back upon Neil, and filled with tears. Neil was down on his knees, digging his claws into his arm, and crying. All his feelings of love and care for Neil flooded back into him, but were kept tied firmly down inside where they couldn't be seen.
Minutes of silence past before he scooted himself forward and peered at Neil's arm from a distance, tears rolling down his cheeks. It was so raw and... Red...
"You shouldn't do that!" He finally stammered, shaking as he spoke. "You'll get really sick!"
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Posted: Sun Jul 21, 2013 6:09 pm
Neil's eyes snapped upwards and stared right into Ryan's. He was shocked that after all he had done, Ryan still wanted to take the time to scold him, and it made him feel a little more at ease. Maybe he still cared, maybe he wasn't going to hate him forever after all. However, as he dwelled on that thought, he found himself questioning why Ryan would care at all. He was a monster, he was evil, and no one should care for someone like him! Especially someone as beautiful and kind as Ryan.
"What does it matter?" He sobbed, clutching his arm further, wincing as his claws dug deeper into his skin. "I'm nothing but a monster, Ryan! If I get sick, that shouldn't concern anyone!"
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Posted: Sun Jul 21, 2013 6:18 pm
Ryan shook further as Neil began to sob. He closed his eyes and folded his knees to his chest before heaving heavy breaths into the dirty jeans he was wearing. What was he going to do? Neil was broken, which made him feel sad, he wanted to cry along with him! He didn't understand any of the feelings he was experiencing! Sadness, anger, disappointment, all of these negative feelings were mixing with those of compassion and love! How was he supposed to react to all this?! He didn't want to hurt Neil further than he was already hurt, but at the same time he wanted to avenge Abel and give him a good swing of his own! Not to mention the punch he had been given by Neil, too, even if it was unintentional!
Brown eyes rose up again to stare across to Neil, who still sat with his claws deep in his arm. He was in so much pain! Ryan couldn't bear to look! He closed his eyes and scooted closer to Neil again.
"Please, stop!" He protested. "You're scaring me when you do that! I don't want you to do that anymore!"
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Posted: Sun Jul 21, 2013 6:26 pm
This time Neil froze and laid his arms at his side. He was dumbfounded. Ryan was scared because of how he was hurting himself? How could that be? When monsters go hurt, everyone clapped and cheered! How could Ryan be upset about a monster getting hurt?! He tilted his head, closed his eyes, and dissolved into sobs again. This was all so confusing! Ryan was scared when he beat Abel up, but felt the same way when he hurt himself! What was he supposed to do to make things right again?!
"What do you want me to do, Ryan!?" He screamed. "If you don't want me to hurt myself, what should I do to make it up to you?!"
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Posted: Sun Jul 21, 2013 6:36 pm
Finally it made sense. Neil was hurting himself because he felt it was the only way to make things right again. Though he knew it was wrong, Ryan understood the "logic" behind it, and scooted two feet closer to Neil, almost to the point where their feet were touching. His eyes lingered on Neil's arm but quickly snapped towards his friend's face. Now he knew that Neil was truly sorry for what he had done, even if he had to hurt himself in the process. He reached his hand out and patted Neil's head.
"You don't have to do anything, Neil." He said, giving Neil's hair a gentle tousle. "But, please. You're not doing anything good by hurting yourself. Abel won't know how sorry you are by the scars on your arm, but by being nice to him and showing sincerity in your apology." Then, he sighed. "Plus, you're making me very upset by doing that. I understand it may feel like the right thing to do, but... It isn't..."
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Posted: Sun Jul 21, 2013 6:46 pm
As soon as Ryan's hand touched his head, Neil's heart beat slowed down. He listened to what the other boy had to say before leaning forward and placing his head on Ryan's shoulder. He didn't know what it was about Ryan, but he was always able to calm him down with a simple look or a touch. Though he wasn't sure if Ryan wanted him this close to his side at this time, he hoped he could just have a few minutes of this if not just one.
Then, just as he was relaxing, his thoughts flashed back to Abel. His mind went straight back into a frenzy, all while he lay upon Ryan's shoulder.
"Did you find Abel?" He choked, his body tensing again.
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Posted: Sun Jul 21, 2013 6:53 pm
Instincts told Ryan to leer away from Neil as he came closer, but as Neil laid his head upon his shoulder, a familiar feeling overpowered his fear. He raised his hand to stroke Neil's hair and cuddled him close to his side, as they had always done at him in the gardens. His Neil was still in there among all this chaos, and Ryan was helping him out of whatever was harming him. Now all he needed to do was find the way home and they'd be squared away!
But as Neil's body tensed and the subject of where Abel was brought back to his attention, Ryan let his hands plop down on Neil's shoulder as he thought of a way to tell Neil the bad news. He hadn't found Abel, which he was assured would make Neil very upset, and he didn't want that.
"Well..." He began, heaving a sigh. "I... I think he might have gone back home to the gardens..." He forced a smile, a common trait he showed when he lied. "I saw a bunch of his feathers going towards these trees a few miles back... Maybe he's there...?"
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Posted: Sun Jul 21, 2013 6:59 pm
But Neil was no sheep, and he knew when he was being lied to. He clenched his teeth and bit his lip as more tears came rolling down his face. Ryan was lying so he wouldn't be upset! Abel was still missing and he was trying to cover it up! He burrowed his face into Ryan's shirt and let out a cry before throwing his arms around Ryan. He was horrible! He was a monster! Abel was gone and it was all his fault!
He clutched Ryan tightly and sobbed profusely. How could anyone love someone like him?! Blue eyes gazed up to Ryan before he yanked himself away and covered himself with his wings. It was much more appropriate for him to cry away from Ryan so he wouldn't have to feel bad for him! He shouldn't have to be next to such a monster!
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