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 Posted: Fri Jul 19, 2013 9:04 pm
 Tsaphiel was finding some peace in standing by the beach and staring into the waves. The evening sky was beginning to get covered by some light clouds, so he decided to take a break from scouting to stare at the moving water. Perhaps a part of him was searching for inner peace, but how many years of his life had he spent doing just that? His mother had once told him many found solace in nature, and especially the ocean.
At the moment, he wasn't feeling that different. Just relaxed at watching the waves dance around the reflections of stars and moon in the sky. That indeed was pretty.
But alas, some nights he found himself coming to different beaches to see if any peace could be found. As long as he was constantly trying, his inner demons could be at bay while he enjoyed some of the little things in life. Or at least, that strategy had gotten him this far. He took a deep breath in and quietly released, paying close attention to his silent breathing sounds as not to be too loud, and continue blend in with the darkness.
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Posted: Mon Jul 22, 2013 12:24 pm
 It didn't take too long to figure out that it was much easier to hide when darkness swallowed the lands. There weren't as many creatures out and about, as many chose the nighttime to fall into slumber, and it was much harder to spot movement when all you could see was black. It was nicer that way, because although her ears picked up on many sounds, she couldn't see them - and they couldn't see her. As long as she was hidden from view, she was alright.
Plus it didn't hurt that Vanilla Swirl slept long before the sun went down. There were very little opportunities for her mother to degrade her if she never saw her - so she chose to go out during the night. It was safer that way. If she told her older sister that she preferred darkness over light, the mare probably would have looked at her in horror and told her that evil lurked at night - but Tiramisu didn't care about the evil. She had a different kind of demon, a different kind of evil that haunted her, and that was much more frightening than a skinwalker.
Her own self image was much more taunting and destructive than a skinwalker. If she was to be attacked...wouldn't her injuries just match her self-image? She didn't need a pretty face or a pretty coat - she wasn't worth any of it, was she? A scar here, a bruise there...did it really make that much of a difference? Tiramisu wasn't foolish, however, and knew that those creatures could kill her, but for all intent and purposes, she just didn't...care.
Perhaps after she was gone, her mother would realize how much she loved her daughter, and apologize to her spirit. That would be nice...
Unlikely, but still a pleasant thought.
Tonight, like most nights, Tiramisu stole away some time to stare at her saddened reflection in whichever watering hole she could find - each one different and further from home than the last. It brought her some comfort, knowing that although she was alone, she could still look at herself in the water; she could still see that she was a mare, alive and healthy...and not the walking dead. Perhaps there was hope for her still? She tended to smile more often than not, when she stared at herself, and that's what she liked best.
"Hmmm..." The mare pondered to herself, as the sound of soft waves entered her ears. Had she traveled so far tonight, to end up by the ocean? It was a first, for sure, but perhaps the ocean would be more calming than a river or a pond? She glided her way over to the beach, the soft sad beneath her hooves a nice break from the hard grass.
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Posted: Mon Jul 22, 2013 6:33 pm
There was a break in the silence and Tsaphiel perked up suddenly. Was there a voice nearby? He shifted his gaze around him and suddenly saw a mare approaching the water just a few paces away. She didn't look to be in any harm, and if anything she looked to be reflecting and staring forward the exact same he was.
The only difference was.. she hadn't noticed him. As usual he was blending in perfectly, and his silence gave him the perfect hiding spot. Tspahiel observed the situation before approaching the mare. Everything seemed fine with her, and she also did not look like a dangerous breed. Was something troubling her? It was quite late to be out on one's own...
Tspahiel gently walked over, and made sure to shuffle his feet as not to completely surprise her. He wanted her to feel his presence. He hated scaring innocents! "Good evening. Is everything alright? I mean you no harm." As he got closer he noticed her interesting markings but couldn't see colors very well. "I don't typically see others out and about this late and on their own."
He hoped he didn't sound judgmental, as he truly was concerned. "My name is Tsaphiel- who may you be?" He bowed his head down gently, although he imagined he was probably still hard to see. Hopefully the waters reflection was giving them more light.
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Posted: Mon Jul 22, 2013 9:27 pm
The peaceful, serene moment she had wished and hoped for only lasted a few brief moments. As water splashed up to meet her hooves, she smiled, thinking that perhaps the ocean was where she should stay now. The mare only ever returned home back to her mother because she had no where else to go...
Deep in thought, she paid no mind to anything around here. And that's when it came. She heard him first, before anything else. And like all other times, she froze. Whereas anyone else would have the instinct to run, Tiramisu lacked the ability to pick up her hooves once she was frightened. She just stood there, wide eyed and paralyzed, hoping that whatever was near her would leave before she had to talk to it.
She wasn't afraid of danger. Not in that sense. She was afraid of talking. Of letting someone get to know her.
Her tiny frame shook, as her heart pumped blood through her veins faster than her brain could comprehend the words the stallion spoke. He was still covered in the darkness around them, so his figure had still gone unnoticed, but she could hear him. She could make out a shape, and she could hear him. And he was coming closer. Inch by inch she felt the sand beneath her hooves shake, and her breath stopped in its tracks. Just as her hooves would no longer work, so did her lungs.
He talked to her like she was a friend, how could he do that?
In his defense, she supposed, he did open up with 'I mean you no harm', but just because he said that brought her no comfort. He wanted a reaction - a response - out of her. "I ummmm....." she stammered, trailing off with every hint of terror in her voice.
"T-t-t-ira-m-m-misu."
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Posted: Tue Jul 23, 2013 5:05 pm
Tsaphiel could never get used to the fact that he was pretty much invisible to most creatures. Some would have had a hard time with that emotionally, being hidden all of the time, but he on the other hand tended to forget quite often. Here was an instance that he knew he had screwed up-- again.
Her reaction continued to make him feel even worse, and he wondered if the poor mare was going to faint in response. "I'm so sorry." he finally said, with sadness in his tone. "I should have been more respectful and called out from afar, I blend in much too easily and feel so bad that I have frightened you."
If there was any hint of tiredness that the mare had before, he guessed she was wide awake at this point.
"Its very nice to meet you, Tiramisu." He pronounced her name as best as he could considering how he had heard her say it. "I should explain myself as well. I protect the land at night as it is my sworn oath. My ability to blend in was more an ironic trait that came into my ability.. and its not so great in social situations..." Clearly. But he was trying to make the situation right as always. Hopefully she would accept his apology eventually. "But what brings you out and about this late?"
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Posted: Wed Jul 24, 2013 10:37 pm
As he continued to approach her, all she could do was continue to stare. Did he not see, or care, that she had been frozen to the ground and couldn't move a muscle? Most Soquili made fun of her for being so shy, and taunted her about her lack of personality, but he just kept right on going....did he care? Perhaps he did not know that she wasn't afraid of him hurting her - perhaps he did not know she was painfully shy, so she gave him the benefit of the doubt and raised her voice so he'd be able to hear her,
"The n-night is safe. N-no one can usually see m-me." Tiramisu allowed herself a bit of a smile, taking in the darkness that surrounded her. It was a pipe dream, at this point, but she wished she wasn't the color she was - she wish she looked like the stallion before her. If she did, then maybe no one would ever go near her. If she did, maybe she could sleep all day, every day, and stay up all night, every night. She wouldn't need to go back and live with her mother then, she'd have the night and the darkness to protect her."I wish I c-could blend in better...," she whispered, more to herself than to the stallion. A hint of jealousy rang through her voice as she whispered, wondering why some Soquili were blessed with good traits, while others, like her, were doomed to walk forever with...well, brightness.
His presence seemed to calm her easier than she expected it to, and her breathing pattern returned to almost-normal. Wondering why that was, the mare took a real, hard look at the stallion and saw his wings - they were...Angeni wings, right? Didn't her sister tell her that Angeni were meant to protect and serve, and never meant any harm, ever? Maybe...maybe that meant that they weren't supposed to be mean, either. Maybe...maybe she could have a conversation with him and not worry about failing him. Yeah. His wings made him look powerful, and powerful was a good thing.
Powerful, whether power in good or evil, meant 'the little guy' didn't matter. Not yet. She wouldn't need to prove herself to him; not yet.
"I like your w-wings." Tiramisu smiled again, still frozen to the ground. All she could do was hope he didn't bring it up.
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Posted: Thu Jul 25, 2013 6:44 pm
He wasn't able to read the mare very well. She was very quiet so he was guessing she was keeping her guard up or perhaps just shy? He was a bit too comfortable with anyone he talked to, so he always needed to tone himself down a little bit. His outgoing self could be a bit much sometimes, and so late at night. When she mentioned that nighttime was safe and why, that confused and interested him.
"Well as long as you are careful then the night can be safe.. I've seen some pretty terrible things. But you seem like a very smart creature." He nodded reassuringly. "Not everyone I meet is familiar with being out and about at these hours so I always like to make sure they are alright. I am glad to see you are a pro as well!"
The more he thought about it after he spoke, the more he realized, was this mare hiding from something? Was someone out to get her? He certainly hoped not for her well-being. He found these scenarios somewhat typical-- darkness was for hiding, be it for evil or good creatures. He wanted to shake away his negative thoughts, and luckily when she commented on his wings he was able to do so and refocuses on the conversation at hand.
"Why thank you. They get me out and about, and scouting the land is my purpose and job. So I am very grateful for them, they are extremely important to my cause."
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Posted: Tue Aug 06, 2013 8:06 pm
Smart.
There had been many words associated with the small mare throughout her lifetime, and each one more harsh than the last - but smart? Never smart. The mare quickly thought back to a time when she'd hear, 'lazy', 'worthless', 'stupid', 'ugly', 'unwanted', on a daily basis, and over time she grew accustomed to those words...but she had never been smart.
Not to anyone, not even to her sister. The mare who did her best to protect Tiramisu from all the verbal abuse had never bothered to tell her that she was indeed intelligent. Her own grandfather, either. So as the years passed, she mare just chalked it up to the fact that perhaps...she wasn't very smart after all.
You'd have to be pretty foolish to choose stay with an abusive parent, anyway, right? But no - staying was never her choice; staying was always the only option she had. If Tiramisu never returned home, she'd have to live a life on her own, with no one to keep her company...and that...was that really any better than taking the abuse? Sure there would be a significantly less amount of cruel words, but then...there would be none. She'd live a life of complete solitude.
And whether or not she wanted to admit it, Vanilla Swirl and her family was her family. She couldn't abandon family.
So perhaps she was smart, after all. She managed another tiny smile for the stallion in front of her, and squeaked, "I just don't like being seen."
By anyone, anything. At all. Ever. She could scream and shout at him for all the reasons she hated her world, but it would do neither of them any good. And plus...could her voice carry for that long? Tiramisu never once tried to yell at anything, so did she even have the strength? Probably not - and she was most certainly not willing to test it.
"I could....get away a lot...faster with them," she mumbled in response to him, still unsure of where he wanted to take this conversation. Was he looking for a friendly chat while the night sky still shined above their head? Or a friend? Or...was he buttering her up for something even worse?! Tiramisu didn't want to trust him, not at all, but she couldn't help but stay and listen to what he had to say.
"I'd never...leave the sky."
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Posted: Thu Aug 08, 2013 8:13 pm
It was very unusual that he ran into someone that was legitimately hiding. Sure he had met some that were running away from their problems or from someone, but not this intensely hiding. But for what reason or why he still did not know, and that was complicating his mind and his thoughts. He wasn't just curious, he was concerned. Immediately he started to get worried as that was usual Tsaphiel fashion. His emotions were known to bounce back and forth depending on how another was feeling. He was quiet as she spoke very lightly, and he took all of her words in and absorbed them.
"I'm afraid you'd get a bit tired if you never left the sky..." he chuckled lightly while watching her closely, although the joke wasn't sticking as he meant it to. Perhaps this wasn't a great time for humor. "Don't you get lonely if you are never seen? A mare like you should be basking in the sunlight every day." Perhaps he was intruding a bit, but he pushed gently on the opening to learn more about her. No one deserved to be hidden, even by choice.
Nor did anyone deserve the loneliness that came with remaining hidden. And when alone, Tsaphiel knew the dangers of the mind. It took him ages to train and not -literally- go crazy from being alone all of the time. All of the anxieties and depression that came from silence... he did not wish such a thing on this mare. It was too awful to bear. Tsaphiel knew it too well.
Perhaps he was over-thinking the situation. It was not his place to jump to so many scenarios without learning more. But he had to wonder...
"May I ask what is troubling you? Perhaps I can help. I have helped many others in my lifetime." He spoke sincerely and bowed his head kindly.
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