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[Q] Ülane Paloveer // Barri, Page of Jupiter [CRIT]

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Sunflower-Seeds

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PostPosted: Mon Jun 17, 2013 3:03 pm


Name: Ülane Paloveer

Nickname: Ooo (like "boo!" by his family only)

Age: 20

Birthday: December 9th

Sign: Sagittarius

Gemstone: Turquoise

Blood Type: A

Fav. Food: Apple Turnovers

Hated Food: Cooked Spinach

School: Destiny City University, Though he works part-time in his parent's Craft Store "Pencil to Paper". He's studying to become a pre-school teacher!

Hobbies:

Kite Flying/Making: Working in a craft shop leads to tinkering with all the left-over supplies during inventory time. At one point in his life, around the age of 9, Ülane got hold of more than a few kite building kits, and started putting together a giant franken-kite! It didn't go over so well, but since that time, he's assembled kite kit after kite kit, until he decided it was time to create his own from scratch. Over the years, he's created and flown countless kites, and has flown each and every one of them, or atleast tried. Whenever the forecast says the wind will be kicking it, he'll try to clear his schedule to go out and fly.

Gardening: Upon moving the Destiny City, the first thing he and his father realized was that they had a back yard! It was far different from the tiny little apartment they lived in in the Old Town of Tallinn. As his father had always dreamed of having a garden after leaving the country side to the city, the first thing he did was plow the land up as if it were home. He turned it into a family activity, working in the garden, and since then, Ülane continues to do so, even though his father can no longer work in it himself.

Judo: Ülane is a huge fan of Kaido Höövelson, one of only two sumo wrestlers from Estonia. Ever since the wrestler debuted in 2004, Ülane has followed everything to do with the man, watching the sumo rise in ranks, and learned as much as he could about his humble upbringings. Though he never imagined himself as someone who could sumo (no real motivation to do so, not wanting to relocate again, unable to handle so much pressure) he did research that Kaido practiced judo originally. Wanting to be as close to his idol as possible, he asked his parents over and over and over again to sign him up, and at the age of 13, he began to study it back in Tallinn. After moving to Destiny City, he continued to study the martial art, and reached the rank of first dan at the age of 18. As he entered college, he's found himself with only time to spar, rather than to actually take lessons, or practice one-on-one with the instructor. He still dreams of competing in the same national tournaments as Kaido did back in Estonia one day.

Crafting Class: A few times each week, Ülane hosts a little arts and craft class in one of the rooms of the shop. He does not get paid for it, nor is he required to do so, he just finds that teaching others, from elementary students to grannies, is a wonderful way to spend his time. Though not an expert on everything, he tries his best to cover a new subject each month, and has little posts all about the store, advertising his want for new guests to come in and share their experiences.

Virtues:

Patient: Doing projects that involve hundreds of toothpicks or large amounts of paint requires a sturdy hand and willingness to move slow and steady. After years and years of working on projects with his family, some as big as growing a garden together, or something as small as assembling a table from Ikea, he has found himself handling most situations bit by bit. He understands that perfection does not come quickly, and that quality over quantity works best for him. Ülane has also found that this approach works well with children, and the more time you take with them, the more likely they are to open up to new ideas and opportunities. He willingly gives others time, and has no problem slowly working things out, and not becoming stressed.

Astute: Ülane wasn't one to talk much, almost always opting to sit back and listen to other's chat. It was not that he did not find people interesting, on the contrary, he finds people absolutely fascinating. While he quietly watched his friends, joining in with laughter, and nodding as they spoke, he found himself recognizing their tells. One would bite her lip when she was lying, another would tap his foot when he wasn't paying attention to someone speak anymore. At the same time, he also noticed when someone needed to talk, about anything. He lends an open ear to whoever needs it, and tries to offer a kind word to say. In doing so, he has found himself knowing how to read and respond to people, without having to openly say such things.

Positive: Is there anything else besides the bright side? Ülane might not really even know! His own life has been quite cushioned and peaceful, and wasn't really given a reason to truly think negatively. It is not that he ignores upsetting things, he just knows that it is better for him to emphasize what is positive, instead of focusing on the negative. If things look bad, he'll do his best to make it work again, trying to never accepting that things will be at their worst! Everyone and everything deserves a chance to do well with their lives, and Ülane is here to help them find their special little thing!

Flaws:

Flippant: As much as Ülane attempts to keep a positive attitude, sometimes he continues on just a bit too far. There are times when people just don't want to 'look on the bright side" and the little light-hearted jokes that Ülane tries to make come off as insulting and insensitive. In his very first year of university, he got into a bit of trouble with another student after making a comment about the other's student's depressive state. Though it was in jest, in attempt to lighten the mood, the student was not impressed, and had him sent to the school's councilor for 'insensitivity'.

Impulsive: Having never been truly restricted in his actions, Ülane tries his hardest to do what he wants, even if it's not for the best. If he wants to buy something, he'll buy it. If he suddenly feels the urge to skip class to go off to a field and fly kites, he will. If parkouring is the next big thing, and he wants to jump off some ledges, he'll do it, with no hesitation. His actions aren't the only things that are spontaneous. Often enough, he finds himself speaking first, thinking later. His decisions come without warning, and he does thing without true comprehension to the consequences.

Over Protective: If you were to ask any of Ülane's friends what was the most annoying thing about him, it would be the fact that he tries to play the role of the guardian, to the point where they think he's only saying things to be annoying.When something goes wrong when related to someone else, he cannot fight the impulse to go into a mother-hen like mode, trying to ensure that the other is alright. Though Ülane genuinely worries over his friends and family, he does not know when to stop. There have even been times when he was excluded from more adventurous outings with his friends, because he would worry for them all the time and repeatedly warn them for 'potential dangers'. Initially appreciated, once someone has been around the boy long enough, they tend to just get sick of it, finding him suffocating and a kill joy.

Brief History: Ülane moved to Destiny City at the age of 12 with his parents from Tallinn, Estonia. Back in his old town, the father owned a craft store, and when he moved, the craft store moved with him and his small family. Ülane, himself, has never really had much of a 'struggling' background, and grew up happy and healthy.

PHYSICAL DESCRIPTION

Eyes: Large, round, eyes that have a gradient green to hazel effect. Such as this.

Hair: Dirty-blonde (color) hair in a mess of curls that end just does not end (Style)

Face: His face is very much round, and does NOT end in a prominent point. Over all, very feminine features, very stereotypical pretty boy.

Clothes: High Styling European Fashion! Naw, BJD Fashion! XD But not those shoes, those are terrible. Something a bit more causal. Perhaps a pair of Vans.
PostPosted: Mon Jun 17, 2013 3:06 pm


Knight Title: Barri, Page of Jupiter

Challenge: Never Face the Wind Head On!

User ImageUniform:

Something like SO! ---->

For his clothing, I'm thinking of an outfit such as this one, but with with the skirt shortened to about Calf Length, with pants underneath.

Top -- Basically just a plan, long sleeveed white tunic
Bottoms -- A piece of fabric tied over close fitting pants. like above
Gloves -- fingerless, linen gloves.
Belt -- He has a thick, braided belt that goes over top of the piece of fabric, as if it's holding the fabric up.
Shoes -- Like these, but with colors that fit better with his outfit.
Shoulders -- Nope, Nothing spectacular.
Accessories -- A braided rope, much like his basic outfit above, keeping his skirt part up. He should also have a pendant with his planet's symbol on it.
COLORS

Warm, more summer themed Viking Colors! I'm not sure, artist has artistic freedom for the coloring scheme.

Weapon -- Paper Folding Fan -> Larger Fabric Folding Fan -> Pewter and Linen Folding Fan

Page: Paper Folding Fan

The fan is made out of paper, with little pieces of balsa wood for each support piece. It's not very intricate, but there are various representations on his planet's symbol on it, and it matches his outfit. It should be about this ratio, hand to fan.

It can maybe stop a blade if caught in the right way (think of Mulan on the rooftops) But other than that, kinda useless, and rips quite easily.

Squire: Larger, Fabric Folding Fan

His fan has gotten larger, to the point of having a hand ratio such as this. It is now made out of wax wood (what many bo staffs are made out of) and linen. The fabric is strong enough to stop blunt, physical attacks, but the wood may not be as it is thin. If used defensively, it is up to not only the strength of the fan, but Barri's strength as well. The designs of the fan embody more of his planet's focus, with swirling, faint hurricane-like symbols on it.

Magic: Downburst Trap
With a wave of his fan in a downwards motion, a vertical blast of wind pushes down on the enemy, making it hard for them to move. Instead of walking against strong winds, the strong winds are coming from straight above, putting pressure on the enemy. It is in a 5 ft radius around the target, and the target is always the center point. Though they may move around, the tube of wind continues to follow them around until Barri breaks concentration, or the pool of magic drains.

The magic pool is only good for 30 seconds, and can only work if Barri concentrates on it. If his concentration is broken, say if he were attacked, then it stops, though if there is time remaining in his pool, he can bring it up again. He can move around while casting but he cannot move in to strike the enemy while they are slowed down. If there are others within the radius of the target, within the 5 ft, whether friend or foe, they will have the same effect on them, though they are free to leave the radius, unlike the target.

Knight: Dowlas and Pewter Fan

The fan has increased once again, to a hand to fan ratio such as this, but is now made of intricate pewter boning, with carvings of his planet's symbol on each piece of metal. It has no blades or sharp edges, but it is heavy enough to be used as an effective blunt weapon, like a baseball bat when closed. It now requires both hands to wield as it is too big to do so single handedly, and takes a bit more strength to swing, so he's slightly encumbered, and it is pretty predictable where his attack is going to land. The fabric of the fan is rather plan, and matches the colors of the actual planet, Jupiter, as seen through telescopes and what not.

Magic
The Magic he could cast before has only been upped to 60 seconds. With his fan being heavier, and more of a useful, blunt weapon, it is to not over power him.

Sunflower-Seeds

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Sunflower-Seeds

Friendly Friend

PostPosted: Thu Jun 27, 2013 11:37 pm


Edits Made:

1: 6/29 Edited the Powers! biggrin Thank you!
2: 7/10 Edited Powers once more, and Explained the reasoning behind his outfit
3: 7/10 Edited his traits (Observant changed to Astute, Nagging changed to Mother hen, Patient and Impulsive edited a bit as well.)
PostPosted: Fri Jun 28, 2013 3:04 pm


Hey Cooro!! Just peeking in since I love knight quests, especially Jupiter ones... but I might be biased. LOL

His magic pool caught my eye 'cause right now it's super long, especially since he has a weapon that could be used for defense/offense if necessary!

For his squire stage, with a weapon that could be used to defend and even attack, 30 - 40 seconds is about the maximum I'd suggest. If his weapon were super dinky and he could only fan himself with it, and it wasn't strong enough to block attacks, then I'd imagine his magic could last longer!

I know you have his magic used on his friends and himself, and I'm curious how he would determine friend from foe, or what if it was only an acquaintance? Would you be interested in thinking about the possibility of his magic calming anyone, regardless of faction/relationship? Or is he only interested in helping those he likes? Just curious!

What kind of clarity are you thinking of? I'm trying to imagine how it would affect characters in a fight and I'm having some difficulty... but that might be because I'm not doing it right. lol

I'm also a little hesitant on "peace/calm" being Jupiter related since its themes are "conflict" and "storms". It's a little contradicting right now, but maybe you could clarify. LOL Clarify... sorry... orz;

For his knight stage, 90 seconds is a really long time for magic when paired with a baseball bat-like weapon! Yikes! Again, if his weapon was super dinky and only used for magic/couldn't really be used for defense or offense, then that length of time would be more acceptable!

For his magic, you say it doesn't change, but as a knight he'll have the opportunity to use his squire magic, as well! You could always make the calming effect more powerful, or add another element to it, and bump the time from 30/40 to 60 seconds.

Anyway, I hope I'm making sense! I'd love to help more if you'd like!! Or discuss things/ideas in detail over PM/IM, if that'd be easier! <33


Guine

Crew

Lonely Explorer


Sunflower-Seeds

Friendly Friend

PostPosted: Sat Jun 29, 2013 3:43 pm


I took your advice and made edits! Thank you!
PostPosted: Tue Jul 09, 2013 10:09 pm


Cooro Cooro


Hey Cooro, sorry for the wait. I'm slow with everything right now and a bit all over the place. But I digress, lets get your boy stamped shall we.

Civilian:

Hobbies -
They look just fine to me. He seems a very hands on person. I love it!

Virtues -

For observing, while the virtue itself reads well, it doesn't seem like observing is the right title for it exactly. It reads more like hes a people reader, more than observant, if that makes sense. I always think of an observant person as someone who can pick up on a lot of things most people wouldn't, not just inside their little group but outside of there area too, their outer surrounding so to speak. Like who put there purse on the couch, who came at this time, who left first, what color the drapes were last time they visited.

Positive I think just need a little bit of how this benefits other people. Like I imagine he's tries to get people to look on the bright side and maybe cheer people up, or maybe his positivity is catching. Just a little mention here I think.

Flaws -

Impulsive clashes with patient and observing. If he is both these things than it doesnt seem very likely that would be overly impulsive or that he would speak before he thinks. Like since he patient, if he feels the urge to fly a kite, why not just wait until after class as opposed to skipping. Also try to stay away from absolutes like always and never, because its not likely he never fails to do what he wants.

Nagging I think clashes a bit too. I doesnt fit with impulsive very well, but it could be worked to him being a very do as I say not as I do person. Its just doesn't seem with his impulsive nature that he would be nagging other and being left out of adventures. I dont know, but even if I have a friend who is all like you could break you neck, or arm, or get arrest, but it still like yeah im down lets do this, im still going to want them to come. Does that make sense?

Powered:

Outfit - I would like to note that he has a very earth knight, feel or look to him and his outfit may need to be tweaked, to look/feel more viking. He will also of course need to have jupiter symbols somewhere on him.

His attacks all look good to me, the only concern I have is that the knight stage weapon can potientally be used offensively and the magic is also offensive with the hail. I would suggest making the weapon more light weight. Maybe having the boning be a different material.

Aim me if you need to, quote me when you are ready for a second look.

Kaori_luv

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Sunflower-Seeds

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PostPosted: Wed Jul 10, 2013 6:02 pm


Kaori_luv


All Edited and Pretty, Yes!
PostPosted: Fri Jul 12, 2013 8:33 pm


Cooro Cooro


Gave your boy another read through and he's getting closer.

Civilian:

Flaws -

For impulsive, I'm still going to say not to use absolutes like always or never, possibly saying almost never or very rarely. I also feel still feel like the mother hen and impulsive traits clash against each other. It just seems like he'd be right with his friends doing whatever right with him and then maybe after he's be like you know maybe we should have done that, such and such could have happened and starts to beat the dead horse so to speak.

For mother hen, if he's always looking at the bright side, why is he constantly worry his friends about what they are doing? There seems to be a bit of clash there as well.


Kaori_luv

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Sunflower-Seeds

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PostPosted: Sat Jul 13, 2013 10:55 pm


Bing! Updated!
PostPosted: Tue Jul 16, 2013 5:22 pm


Cooro Cooro


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Kaori_luv

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Kyuseisha no Hikari

Crew

Dragonslaying Dragon

PostPosted: Wed Jul 17, 2013 2:15 am


Hey, Cooro! I think this looks fine to me!

Going to drop a stamp; good luck winning him!


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