this song was also part of the inspiration

There is a certain kind of emptiness that I can't explain. I've lived my life alone but it never felt that way. There are moments where I've fallen on myself but I had you to thank for lifting me up. Sitting in the kitchen, the dishes lay to waste. It's been at least two weeks and I sit here in this kitchen never touching a thing. It's the hope that I'll may be see you walk through the door again and complain about the dishes and the laundry on the floor. It's the hope that you'll smile when I give you my excuse for not doing these chores that you have always begged me to. There is a certain kind of sadness that I can't explain, or maybe I don't want to. I've taken down the mirrors and I won't use the bathroom up stairs, I can't, I won't. I don't want to see myself alone. There is a certain kind of loneliness that I can't explain. I've lived my life alone but it never felt this way. I've never been religious but every day I pray for yesterday. There is a certain kind of lost that I can't explain. I can't find my way in life any more but i know I've found an end. It's a door I haven't opened but I think it's about time I do. I just hope you're there to greet me.

There's a certain kind of relief that I never thought existed. It's a relief I'll embrace with open arms.

I've Missed you so much.