[PRP] Fragile and New (Risti and Prince Craevan Evarcrest)

[Baby Pandah]

Risti's eyes opened, immediately searching for him in the darkness of the cave. Her body felt cold without his touch. Ever since that first night it felt strange without him near, and yet it felt just as strange when he got too close. She had been distant from the cursed Prince the past few days besides sleeping near him in the night. Perhaps it was because her body was busy recovering and she was distracted, or perhaps she simply didn't want to face her emotions if she allowed them to run free. But she searched for him now, as if she had finally awoken from her innocent slumber of recovery. Of course she had been awake since that terrifying night. She had even gotten enough energy to start walking and finding food for herself. But as she awoke this time, it was to something else, something new. A new feeling towards him arose in the night and she searched for his presence in the shadows.

She didn't blame him for keeping his distance, she knew he left her side in the night. She knew what tormented his mind. But perhaps this was the first time she was fully aware of it, or the first time she cared. "Craevan," she called into the darkness. His name hung on her lips in a way it had not before, and she shook her head at herself as if coming out of a dream. She had caught glimmers of these feelings before, but they had been stifled by his teeth in her neck that night. She hardly knew herself for a while, so how could she know how she felt? How could she feel anything with visions plaguing her mind and the cracks in her skin attacking her body as she tried to recover? But she felt different now, that glimmer had returned in the darkness like the wind on a calm night. Perhaps her old self was finally returning to her, perhaps she would stay for new reasons besides recovery now.

She shifted in the darkness, her eyes adjusting and picking out his shape. Her brown eyes locked on and blazed holes in his dark shadow. "Craevan, I can't sleep," she said a little louder, but something made her feel that he was already awake himself. She could feel something in the air besides her own emotions and thoughts that clouded the atmosphere. Her tail curled softly as she looked for the bright blue eyes that she could feel upon her.  

[Regal Renegade]

His brow furrowed as he stared, as though in a trance, at a misshapen crack carved into the wall of the cave. Like the sound of water dripping onto the uneven stone floor, his thoughts echoed throughout the chaos of his mind. Even now, staring at a crack in the wall all he could think about was the gentle motion of her breathing against his side, about her warmth seeping into his body and his heart. Any other stallion would have been ecstatic to have captured the attentions of such an extraordinary mare, but not many of them had as high a death toll surrounding them as he had. Not many had to worry about adding such an exquisite creature to their body count. Just the heaviness of that last thought had a violent shiver wracking his entire frame, and though he felt terrified there was something else too.

He couldn’t deny that feeling incomplete without her sleeping soundly beside him was somehow wondrous. Over the duration of her recovery a lot of things had occurred to him that hadn’t even existed in the shadows before her arrival. Though he would never admit this aloud, his dreams had been plagued with images other than blood, gore, and fear for the first time since the curse had been laid upon him. Whenever the faces of his victims began to twist in agony a gentle breeze would blow them aside and her dazzling brown eyes would put him at ease. He hadn’t slept so soundly for countless years, and though he partially felt he did not deserve it, he allowed himself to feel content. His guard still remained fortified and watchful, but she had managed to sneak in beneath his defenses without even meaning to.

His name, spoken in the most attractive voice he had ever heard, reverberated off of the cavern walls and shattered his line of thought. How had she ensnared him so? It was as though an entirely new curse had been placed upon him, but one that was not entirely negative. Though the stickiness of doubt still clung to his innards he felt…happy. It was a bastardized and disgusting thought due to the circumstances surrounding his happiness, but it was happiness all the same. Even so, as though the beast felt it had been forgotten, something gripped at his vocal chords and refused to allow him to respond. His fangs tingled as the memory of the flesh of her neck tearing beneath them slammed into his brain, and he tore his eyes away from that crack in the wall. How could he be thinking all of this?

Her voice once more prevented those last dark thoughts to form and he found himself staring in her direction. His heart told him to rise and go to her side like he desperately wanted to, but his brain was screeching at his body to remain still. He was caught in an awkward battle that left him aching to rise but sinking further onto the floor. Breathing deep he eventually managed to heave himself to his feet, but he did not walk toward her, not yet. “Are you- ,” he paused and cleared his throat, “Are you alright?” It was a dumb question and he knew it the moment it formed on his tongue, but it was the only thing he could think to say. Whereas once words had come easily to him when speaking with her, he now felt an added pressure that he did not fully comprehend.  

[Baby Pandah]

She smiled at his simplicity and she realized it was the first time she had smiled in a long time. She found herself wondering how long she had been here, how long she had been in his presence but ignorant of what was between them...if there was anything there.

She found herself leaning towards his voice in bliss at the deep tones. But there was struggle in that voice as well and she stayed where she was because of it. "I'm alright," she said, her eyes finally adjusting enough to meet his icy blue gaze. Her heart fluttered in her chest, causing the cracks in her skin to ripple as they often did when she became nervous, only this time it hurt just a little. She bit her lip, fighting against the pricks of pain on her pelt. She wasn't sure if he could see her, but she didn't want to bring more guilt to him by showing pain. Once again she felt shame towards making him feel this way. It was all her fault they were in this situation, if she had just stayed away like he had warned...She could feel the world's eyes shifting to look at her and she shrank under its judgement. But that glimmer fought against the tide of guilt, causing her to stand finally.

"I don't feel like laying around anymore, Craevan..." she said softly into the darkness, acknowledging a recovery that she hadn't thought was possible. She was herself again, and she didn't want to keep that locked away into a cave along with her feelings for him. Still she stayed where she was, the thought of getting too close continued to be a fear that she could not completely shake. But if he tried...if they tried together, she could be closer...She blushed at her thoughts and was thankful for the darkness of the cave.

"Craevan, are you too tired for a walk?" she asked. A walk sounded perfect to her. Not too close, not too stressful on her body. She was sure the world was laughing at her. A walk in the middle of the night? What an odd mare she must be. But if he agreed she would have a chance to speak to him, to finally hear and listen to that alluringly deep voice once again. She had heard it in the past few days, but it hadn't meant so much to her as it did now. She just wanted to hear him speak. It didn't matter what he said, she just needed to know that she really was herself again. She just wanted to know if these new feelings were real.  

[Regal Renegade]

His heart beat loudly within his chest and he could hear the blood ringing in his ears as he awaited her response. He knew she could lie to make him feel better if she wished, but still, quite a lot rested on her answer. He had done this to her, had made it so she had to lay in darkness day after day in order to recuperate from the wounds he had given her. He had lain beside her as some sort of penance, but had ended up becoming more grateful for her company than he could ever have imagined. Her voice rang out over the rough walls of the cavern and he found himself releasing a breath he hadn’t known he had been holding. He remained skeptical a moment, wondering if she was just fibbing so as to make him feel less guilty for the part he played, but the way she moved made him believe otherwise. There was a brief moment when he could have sworn he saw the, now familiar, cracks forming on her body. His attention was soon diverted as she continued to talk to him.

Darkness twisted in his belly, but not the kind he was most afraid of. This was a darkness that told him he would miss the way her voice sounded in his head. He would miss how her scent had become a part of life for him. He would miss HER. A little voice in the back of his mind began to echo the word ‘stay’, but he knew that wouldn’t be possible. As much as he wanted her to be here with him for the foreseeable future he just couldn’t take that risk. What made it worse was the knowledge that she could now walk. He still was unsure of how strong she was, but if she could go for a walk it meant that it was about time she left this damned forest behind her and never look back. For some odd reason he began to think that a piece of him would go with her, always leaving a void somewhere within him.

Subconsciously he took a step toward her, the words on his lips ready to pour out until his voice box clamped shut. A small defeated grin quirked one corner of his lips and he shook his head. “Certainly not, I would be glad to accompany you Risti.” Turning so he faced the yawning mouth of the cave he arched his neck back so that he may give her a look asking ‘are you ready’? Even though his first instinct was to walk to her and position himself so that they were shoulder to shoulder he felt this was the wiser decision. Not only did he not trust the beast lurking deep within himself, but he was beginning to distrust his current self. Oh the things she had done to him without even knowing it.  

[Baby Pandah]

She approached quietly in the dark, heading towards the lighter night outside. But she paused next to him as he looked at her. She could walk away anytime she wanted. She knew that...He knew that. But something kept her from doing it. Something stopped her from leaving. Perhaps it was because she didn't have a home to return to, perhaps it was because her family was scattered, but she thought it was most likely because there was still something here for her. Despite the danger that was promised her here, there was something in those blue eyes that said stay. And she didn't even want to think about the strange visions she had had during her recovery. "Accept..." Accept what? It still troubled her. The visions were so fuzzy and so unlike her usual ones...was she meant to accept the fact that he didn't want her here? That thought made her heart fall in her chest and she pushed it out of her mind stubbornly. And who was the unicorn who had appeared to her? Was it a warning? She wanted desperately to ask Craevan about it, but she couldn't burden him with her curses. He had enough to worry about.

She gave him a smile and let out a nervous sigh and continued forward at last, pretending it gave her a little trouble to walk. It didn't, and she hated to make him feel bad, but perhaps he would walk next to her if he thought she was having difficulty. That, and she knew that if she showed the slightest sign of being well again he would shoo her away immediately. She still needed to be here. There was still something she needed to find out. If only she knew what it was. But as she thought again of her feelings for him, her mission faded with each flutter of her heartbeat. Each thought developed into a blossoming imagination of them together. Together in a passionate and loving way, forever. She wanted so badly to stay here, for that reason more than anything.

"Craevan...have you ever...before you..." she struggled with her thoughts and feelings, still too shy to expose her emotions, "nevermind." She was usually very good at flirting, very good with her words. But something about him, something about this place made her feel funny. She walked forward, not really paying attention to where she was going, allowing him to direct her. She fought with herself inwardly, telling herself to be brave. She had fought the Beast and survived, but she couldn't tell Craevan how she felt? She felt rather pathetic for that, but her mouth was clamped shut. She wished he would say something, anything to make her feel better. Or maybe something that would make her not feel this way. But she doubted there was anything he could say that would dampen this raging fire within her. She looked back at him wistfully, wishing he could understand.  

[Regal Renegade]

The sound of her hooves scraping awkwardly over the cavern floor alerted him to the struggle she was experiencing while making her way from the back of the cave toward him. He could not help but to feel a pang of regret reverberate off of the walls in his chest, for he could not deny that her condition was his fault. Though he was cognizant of the fact that she had forgiven him for what the beast had put her through, he was not yet ready to forgive himself for his trespass. The healed up puncture wounds on her neck were evidence of his crime and often the first thing his eyes rested on whenever she stirred. She had become one of his victims and this disturbed him greatly, plaguing his dreams with dark forms for many nights. But even more troublesome was that she had also become a great source of light in his otherwise dim life.

Even now as the soft light of the night bathed her silhouette in a bluish-gray glow he couldn’t help but to acknowledge the sound of his heard thudding quickly within his ribcage. Perhaps, in a way, he had become her victim as well. The thought was a strange one but not altogether unpleasant, there were worse things one could fall prey to, something he already knew to be hard truth. For fear of upsetting her, or spoiling a perfectly enjoyable moment, he masked the thoughts skittering about his mind and allowed a gentle smile to creep over his features as she drew near. Clearing his throat and bowing his head gracefully he spoke to her in a smooth tone. “My lady.” Touching his shoulder gently to her’s to afford her the comfort of knowing he was there to support her, he began to walk with her out into the moonlit world beyond the maw of the cave.

The songs of the crickets echoed through the trees and a gentle breeze carried with it the scent of the fragrant flowers just beginning to bloom. In her company these few simple things seemed more dazzling than before and he paid more attention to them than he had in the past. For a moment he almost felt…normal. As though a monster did not bide it’s time within him until the next opportunity to pounce arose. His ears pricked easily this way and that, catching the sounds of the world around him and his gaze would fall to the lovely mare walking beside him every so often. When her voice broke the silence he turned to face her a little but found himself slightly disappointed when she cut herself off. “Have I what?”

The last line of her sentence opened up a pit in his chest as the memory of his curse sunk back in. It was easy to allow himself to forget for a moment, but that did not mean that the curse had simply vanished. In this moment of sensitivity he had lowered his guard and potentially put her in danger once more. Regardless of how much he desperately wished every moment could be like this one, with her by his side, he knew that one day he would have to tell her to go. He would have to let her go before he destroyed her completely. His head drooped a little bit and his eyes wandered back into the darkness of the forest, why couldn’t things be different?  

[Baby Pandah]

As she leaned against him she absorbed the world around her. It had been a while since she had seen the light of day or night. The moon gave a friendly wave as she stepped outside, greeting her as an old friend. For a moment there was not a care in the world, for a moment she imagined that it had always been this way. A breeze lifted her mane, breaking her dreamy thoughts and calling attention to how dirty she was. No doubt Craevan had done his best to keep her clean during her recovery and she appreciated that, but she felt she could do good with a soak. Avoiding his eyes, and avoiding facing the question she felt burning within her, she focused on her matted mane. "Have you seen some water around here?" she transformed the question quickly.

She knew he deserved better than that, she knew he wasn't stupid. The trees shifted angrily in their places, giving her that same look of forbidding that they had when she had first ventured to this place. But what could she do? What could she say that would make him understand...that would make her understand? All she could do was press herself further against him, trying to reassure herself. Her stomach churned nervously as she did so, once again causing her heart to flutter and her skin to crack.

She wondered desperately whether he was feeling something as well, but she was hesitant to ask. Since when was she this nervous? This shaky. Perhaps she was not herself again after all. But it was a good thing, she thought...She felt happy, she felt hopeful, and she felt love...Could it be that? The word that she had been holding back formed in her mind and took hold. It rooted itself in her mind and her heart swelled. She knew that it would never leave. She looked up at Craevan's face, seeing trouble in the lines and stress in the expression. If only it could be as perfect as she wanted it to be, as perfect as she had felt a moment before. "Have you ever been in love, Craevan?" she asked at last, giving him the truth and telling him in her own way.  

[Regal Renegade]

His attentions were turned from the dark emptiness of the forest back to the bright little mare walking so closely beside him. He could tell she was conflicted about something, mainly because he was struggling with a conflict of his own. But when a benign little question reached his ears he found himself somewhat relieved yet disappointed. Clearing his throat he gave a gentle nod and directed his gaze forward. “There is a lake up ahead,” looking her over he sighed, “the waters are perfect for bathing.” He hadn’t realized how poorly he had cared for her until just that moment. He could have done more to ensure her comfort at least.

He knew that was not the original question she had allowed to die on the breeze just moments before, but he would not press her. Perhaps it was best for the both of them if some words remained unspoken. But then she pressed closer to him and his heartbeat quickened instantly. She had been touching him the entire time, but feeling her growing nearer to him was just enough to start the flurry of emotions churning within his heart and mind once more. Sneaking a glance at her from the corner of his eye he nearly had his breath stolen away. Though she was a little rough looking due to days of being kept in the cave, her body still glistened in the moonlight and the shine in her eyes captivated him. She looked troubled, but even that added to her beauty. Taking in a deep and shaky breath he could only think one thing. “Maybe she isn’t the only one in danger…”

Then, that moment he had dreaded yet desired struck. ‘Have you ever been in love, Craevan?’ Not a very difficult question, but tension began to build in every muscle. This moment could afford him two paths; one that would allow him to shun her forever, and one that would allow him to perhaps, selfishly, keep her. He did not look away from her face in fear that she would take that as some unspoken response, but he was panicking on the inside. If he told her the truth, that he thought he was in love with her at this very moment it could permanently endanger her. But if he didn’t, wouldn’t he regret it for the rest of his years? But did he even deserve the option? His brain scrambled for the correct answer but all he could manage was a few stupid syllables. “I…Uh…”  

[Baby Pandah]

Say it. Just say it. She looked back and forth between the tormented icy blue eyes, searching for a sign of confirmation. But the perfection of her imagination seemed to be fading away, and she knew he was weighing the consequences. But instead of growing sad, instead of getting frustrated, she thought perhaps it would be best if she didn't pester him about it. A game of hard-to-get would give him time to think, and would give her time to make sure what she was feeling was real. She smiled lightly, and then trotted forward slowly to find the lake he spoke of, breaking her contact with him and relaxing a little at last.

Her side felt cold where he had been but the absence was awakening, refreshing in a way. If she felt this way when parting with him, then surely her feelings were not false? She found hope in the cold rather than fear, because as long as she was cold she could return to his warmth. At least, if he would allow her to...She frowned at that thought. She knew what he was thinking. She knew he wanted her gone. But hadn't she shown that she could put up with the Beast to a certain extent? He would have another thing coming to him if he thought he could make her leave. She doubted even she could make herself leave.

She edged in between a pair of trees, and there it was. The moon had its surface glowing and white and the trees surrounding shimmered with the reflection of water upon them. She looked back towards Craevan for a moment before lowering herself into the water almost immediately. Her tail curled around her, causing ripples in the smooth surface and breaking the silence with a slow-rushing noise. The water was soothing, and every bit of dirt swirled off around her and disappeared into the beauty of the night. Every bad thing melted away and bubbled to the bottom of the lake, defeated and feeble. She dipped her head delicately to soak her mane, careful not to move her neck too much. Water droplets fell down her face, but she welcomed them. She opened her eyes slowly, looking around for Craevan. "Well don't be afraid, the water won't burn you," she said with a light laugh, inviting him in with her.  

[Regal Renegade]

Her eyes called to him, prompted him to give life to the words tumbling about in his ever hazy mind, but rather than responding to her influence he looked away in defeat. The words withered and sank back into obscurity and he was surprised by a pang of deep regret pulsing within his heart. He raised his eyes as she trotted away, his attention fixed on her retreating form and he couldn’t help but to feel that watching her walk away was the right thing. Nevertheless the notion of watching her leave him for real with no intention of returning caused his world to spin and he leaned against a tree for support. It felt as though a great force had battered his chest and he realized his fine armor could do nothing to protect him.

The isolation he had once craved so dearly closed in around him like a toxic fog and he whispered a humorless laugh. He had learned to accept his seclusion, had even embraced it but after having Risti by his side the entire concept seemed unrealistic. Going back to days alone in the forest after knowing her warmth would be impossible at this point. Gazing upon the place he had last seen her he automatically began to walk in the direction she had gone, as if drawn by some magnetic force. “Please…” He breathed, “please let me keep her.” His heart ached as the words took flight upon the cool breeze, for he knew his selfishness would surely lead to her demise.

By the time the lake came into view the stoic expression he wore so well had returned and any sign of his earlier debacle had faded away. Though outwardly he appeared to be untouched by the moment, inwardly his heart was raging as he watched her move about in the water. She had the grace of a swan and the beauty of a lake goddess that caused his breath to catch in his throat. She was like a dream that he never wanted to wake from, a dream that only reaffirmed the feelings he had for her. He stirred from his daydreams when her voice reached out to him, a clear bell directing him through the suffocating darkness. Without a word he stepped into the water and waded out to where she stood, but rather than keeping his usual proximity he came up beside her and arched his neck over hers in an unexpected embrace. Closing his eyes he remained silent, knowing he should not be doing this but unable to stop himself.

Baby Pandah