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 Posted: Sun Apr 21, 2013 3:15 am
He had waited until he was out of the room before breaking into a run. Efflo couldn't explain it. Gabby was the best thing that had ever happened to him, his entire world, yet here he was eager to put as much distance between them as possible. He knew that Gabby and Sibyl were just friends, best friends, but it made him so incredibly jealous, so anxious and worried because it was a place he could never take, one he could never fill. Just to see someone else hanging off of his boilfriend, especially someone so close to Gabby, made it hard to breathe. Touching other creeple wasn't something Efflo did often, or something he really ever wanted to do. Gabby was different, he was special, it was the first time that Efflo found that he actually wanted to be close to someone, every waking second of his day. And he couldn't stand to share it, he didn't know how to. Some awful, small part of him hoped that they wouldn't notice that he was gone, that they would go on with the party and forget about him. It would be easier that way, he thought as he ran out of the dorms and into the night, if they just forgot about him and let him fade away. Then he could escape, cowardly, from these feelings that constricted so tightly around his heart that it hurt. Then they could all move on and be happy, and he wouldn't be a burden to them anymore. He would leave, before Gabby could leave him. He'd been alone for so long, anyway, what did tacking on another eternity matter? Once he was outside, and closer to the Undead dorms, Efflo slowed to a walk. He wiped at his face with his pajama sleeve, sniffling pathetically.
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Posted: Sun Apr 21, 2013 3:29 am
Gabby hadn't waited - his run started the moment he'd gotten up. But Efflo had gotten a head start, and he had no idea where to look. Eventually, after searching the dorm itself, Gabby had taken to the air. Efflo's hair made him an easy target from a distance, and soon enough Gabby found what he was looking for. He should have known Efflo would head for his dorm, but he didn't want to believe it.. because that meant he really had just walked out on him. Gabby slowly began to descend, choosing his movement very carefully so that when he was close enough to be noticed, he'd be landing several feet in front of Efflo. The landing was quiet, the touchdown was soft, and Gabby's face held a tension that hid his true feelings - absolute betrayal. His folded arms were not as forgiving. "Rude."
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Posted: Sun Apr 21, 2013 3:51 am
Efflo started, he had been too wrapped up in the mess of his mind to notice Gabby landing until the single spoken word knocked him out of his depressing reverie. Gabby's stance made it clear he was displeased, and expected an explanation. Efflo didn't know why, he wasn't worth running after. Those vivid green stared for a moment, giving Gabby a deer in the headlights kind of look. But there was no accompanying harshness to them, no returning glare. They just looked sad, incredibly sad. Any words he thought of saying got caught in his throat, choked down by his fear of pushing Gabby away; he was scared of admitting how much he cared for the boil, how much stupid little worries got to him because he couldn't stand the thought of ever losing him. He didn't want Gabby to know how he was feeling, to know how selfish he was. Gabby was better off without him. So he didn't say anything at all, silently trying to brush past the boil.
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Posted: Sun Apr 21, 2013 4:01 am
He waited, with the little patience he could offer, for some kind of answer. Anything, really. Just some sort of explanation. Maybe Efflo thought parties were stupid. HE thought parties were stupid. They could have left together, and bonded over that.. Or maybe Efflo just didn't want to bond with Gabby over anything, anymore. That thought distracted him with heartache just long enough to miss the moment the boil brushed past him. He jutted one arm out, grabbing for Efflo before he could get too far, and pulled him back up against him. " Excuse me." Gabby growled unhappily. "I think I deserve to know why you just left me, without saying a word. And while you're at it, you can explain why you're trying to walk away from me right now. Because I am not liking this." There was a tiny voice in his head warning him; maybe he didn't want to know the answer. Maybe it was better not to ask. Maybe.. Gabby wasn't going to get dumped without a reason. Whether or not that reason tore his heart apart was irrelevant - he had to know.
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Posted: Sun Apr 21, 2013 4:23 am
Why couldn't he have just let him go, just let him walk away? It would have been easier. Because the moment Gabriel grabbed his arm, Efflo flinched, and when the boil tried to pull him close, Efflo was bracing his hands against Gabby's chest, pushing himself away. "Don't!" he cried out softly, staggering backward. "Just.. Don't touch me..." It killed him to say it, more than anything he wanted to just wrap his arms around Gabby, to hug him close and never let go. But he knew that if he did, he would never be able to let go and it would hurt all the more the day when Gabby found it too hard to deal with him anymore. He stood there with his posture slumped. His head hung low, he couldn't bear to meet Gabby's questioning gaze. "Why does it matter?" he asked quietly, voice shaky. He didn't know how to stop the terrible words from coming out. Efflo knew they weren't true, he knew it! But that awful, suffocating jealousy clutched at him, dragging him down into despair, ruining any sense of reason. "You don't need me, you have Sibyl. I'm just... Saving you the trouble of having to dump me."
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Posted: Sun Apr 21, 2013 4:36 am
The words stung him so hard, his hands snapped away, letting go of Efflo as if his skin burned his hands. No one needed to tell Gabby twice, not even the boil that he'd given his heart to. Clearly that was a mistake. "I don't need you." Gabby repeated the words, venom dripping from his voice. "You're just saving me the trouble. Because that's how I've been acting around you lately, mm?" Gabby took a step back. "Because I haven't given you everything I had inside. I haven't shared my life with you, or anything stupid like that. I haven't opened up to you the way I've never opened myself up to anyone before. Right? Yeah. Of course not." He knew this was too good to be true. "I don't text you every night because I can't sleep until I've said goodnight to you, anymore. I definitely don't do that." He took another step back, and his wings flared angrily behind him. "I don't give up every damn rule I've ever made just to let you into my heart. That's something I would NEVER do. You're right." He turned around, giving Efflo his back - he was done here. Well, almost. "And I definitely, DEFINITELY never loved you." His voice cracked, but it was the only indication of his breaking heart that he'd allow. "Thanks so much for proving me right, Efflo. But next time, don't do me any favors."
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Posted: Sun Apr 21, 2013 5:08 am
Every reminder of how much Gabby cared stung him, made him feel even worse about acting so horribly. Gabby had been the best thing that had ever happened to him and it ripped his heart out to see Gabby turn around, to give up. But that was what he wanted wasn't it? He'd asked for this, and now his wish was coming true. Yet if he'd wanted it so much, why was it so incredibly, unbearably painful? His heart twisted in his chest when Gabby admitted to loving him, it was too much, it hurt way, way too much. Why couldn't he have just have stayed at the party, why couldn't he have just let Efflo go home, and hide this terrible, crazy side of himself. Now Efflo had just made a terrible mess of everything, as per usual. The boil sank to his knees and curled into himself on the path, unable to keep up the same composure, already too far gone. He sobbed loudly, the raspy sounds racking his entire body. Efflo gave up any shred of dignity he had, and wailed, the tears flowing freely down his dark face. "I-I'm sorry... Gabriel..." he hiccuped softly, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry..." He should go, let Gabby escape while he could, and he would crawl to his room like lowly worm he was. But he couldn't move, couldn't do anything but cry; actually faced with the possibility of losing Gabby making him lose any cowardly courage he had, making him just want to shrivel up and die.
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Posted: Sun Apr 21, 2013 2:39 pm
Apologies weren't enough anymore. Gabby bent his knees, preparing to launch into the air and leave, but he couldn't make himself push up. He couldn't make himself move, when he heard Efflo crying. He didn't want to care. He reminded himself that Efflo was the one who'd given up. He wasn't.. shouldn't have to.. didn't need.. The boil straightened his legs, and let out a sharp, rasping sigh. Then he turned on his heel, walking back to the boil on his knees, and stood there, just watching him. Efflo looked like Gabby was breaking up with him. What was wrong with this picture? "For crying out loud." Gabby dropped down to one knee and pulled the boil into his arms, grabbing his chin and pulling it sharply up to look at him. His own eyes, filled with hurt, were staring down into the wet, sobbing gaze of the boil he loved, and trying desperately to understand. " Why, Efflo?" His voice shook as he whispered the question. "Why are you doing this? Why are you trying to throw away everything? Am I really that unsatisfactory?"
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Posted: Sun Apr 21, 2013 3:38 pm
He inhaled suddenly, fiercely shaking his head at Gabby’s questions. Efflo felt like an absolute idiot, unable to strop his tears as he blinked, staring back up at the dragon. He couldn’t help it, he wore his heart on his sleeve, every emotion seeming to bubble up and over without his control, no matter if it was good or bad. Gabby deserved someone better, someone normal, not a blubbering excuse for a boil. “You’re…” sob, “Perfect. Not unsatisfactory, not at all. I don’t… I don’t know how to… I can’t stand it… Just so jealous… I’m the idiot… You deserve better.... I just... I-I… I love you so much… ” Efflo sniffled, not making a lot of sense. He was having a hard time piecing together what he wanted to say, with the mess of thoughts swirling around in his head.
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Posted: Sun Apr 21, 2013 3:56 pm
Every instinct told him to run. Efflo was going to do this, again and again, his doubts whispered conspiratorially in his mind. You're the only one to blame if he hurts you again. Gabby slid both his hands in Efflo's hair, and tightened their grip, holding the boil's head captured firmly. "What are you jealous about? I don't even like being around other people.. I just want to be with you. I don't-" His words broke off in a sharp gasp when all of Efflo's words finally reached him, and he realized what the boil had said. A softer, reverent voice whispered gently in awe. "Wait." His heart clenched painfully. "You really love me?"All those whispers in the back of his mind quieted down, and faded away. Because none of them mattered. Efflo loved him. A stray thought got away from him, escaping his lips before he could actually think about what he was about to say. If all of this happened because Efflo was jealous, had he heard something...? "Is this about Shine?"
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Posted: Sun Apr 21, 2013 4:15 pm
Efflo clung to Gabby tightly, “Of course I do!” That’s what made this so hard, what made him so crazy. He loved him so much; he didn’t know what to do. It scared him. But Gabby’s question caught him off-guard. “What? Shine? What’s a ‘Shine’? …It’s not… Just… I was sitting right there… And Sibyl acted like I didn’t exist, just… Hugging you… And nuzzling… I don’t… Understand it.” There, it was out there now. Sort of. If Gabby thought he was despicable, Efflo didn't know what he'd do but that whatever it was, he knew he deserved it.
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Posted: Sun Apr 21, 2013 4:44 pm
Did the most pathetic sound ever just come out of Gabby? Yes, it did. He collected Efflo up in his arms and pulled him into his lap, holding him shamelessly close. All that mattered in that one single moment was that Efflo said he'd loved him. Everything else could wait. So it did. For about ten seconds. "-SIBYL?" Gabby pulled away, his face aghast with shock. Efflo was jealous of Sibyl? No, he said he wanted Sibyl to act like he existed.. he wanted hugging.. he wanted nuzzling.. Gabby was completely misinterpreting the problem. "Efflo, she loves everyone - she'll love you, too. If you really want her to cuddle you more often, all you have to do is ask. There's no reason to be jealous." He frowned. "If you want, I could ask her to cuddle you more often."
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Posted: Sun Apr 21, 2013 5:22 pm
The horrified expression on Efflo’s face at Gabby’s suggestion was almost comical. He shook his head, burying it against the boil’s neck. “That’s... Not it at all,” he said softly.
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Posted: Sun Apr 21, 2013 5:25 pm
"Damnit." Gabby growled with frustration. "What do you want me to do, then?" He brushed the neon green hair near his face, running his fingers through it, over and over. "I don't want you to run from me again. Efflo, it hurts. It hurts so bad." The little wisps on his right side, which had almost disappeared this entire time, creeped back out again, tentatively reaching for the boil, just to feel his warmth.
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Posted: Sun Apr 21, 2013 5:51 pm
“I don’t know… You can’t… It’s not your fault. You don’t have to do anything. It’s me that has the problem.” He nestled closer to the boil, squeezing him tightly. Efflo didn’t want to go anywhere, nothing compared to the way that being wrapped up in Gabby’s arms made him feel like he was home. He drew a shaky sigh, resting against him. He was the one with the problem, but he had no idea how to fix it. Sibyl was so cute, and innocent, he knew she didn’t mean any harm. She loved Gabby, and just wanted to show it. But every time the ghoul got as close to Gabby as he did, Efflo bristled. He wasn’t that close to anyone, aside from Gabby. Calder was his good friend but the kelpie initiated most contact, and besides the occasional arm loop or brief friendly hug, there was nothing more. Calder’s equine manners made it easy for Efflo to communicate, so he understood and allowed such things. With Gabby, well, he loved him, it didn’t matter what he did, Efflo wanted everything he had to give. He never wanted to stop being close to the dragon. But Gabby and Sibyl were so close, and Sibyl was a meat-eater like Gabby, and she was so cute, how could Efflo hope to compare? He saw how much Gabby cared for her but he selfishly wanted to keep it all to himself. He didn’t understand how their friendship and his relationship could coexist simultaneously. “I love you Gabriel, I really do… I’m sorry I’m such a mess.” He sighed again; he just didn’t know what to do. But being able to say those three words finally, and to have Gabby accept them, made the uneasiness in his heart steady a little. He would find some way to work through this, so he wouldn’t ever lose his dragon.
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