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 Posted: Sun Apr 14, 2013 8:37 pm
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Posted: Tue Apr 16, 2013 9:09 am
I'm the cyber-slutty sex bot made of steel
I am programmed to make all the bitches squeal
I've got gluteus of aluminum and circuit board abs
I'm impervious to hackers, Chlamydia, and crabs
I've got an extra dong for double penetration
Just squeeze my balls and activate vibration
I can ******** all night if you want me to
Then you can piss on my receptacle
And suck my load of cyber-goo
The crowd begins to boo incredibly loudly as Supersonic Sex Machine by Steel Panther hits the arena and Cartwright comes out with the mightiest of swaggers, thrusting his stuff at the crowd on the entrance ramp.
Super sonic sex machine
Super sonic sex machine
Super sonic sex machine
Super sonic sex machine
Cartwright shouts "SWAGGER! YOLO!" repeatedly on his way to the ring to growing disapproval! He enters the ring and continues thrusting at everyone he sees as he waits for his opponent.
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Posted: Wed Apr 17, 2013 4:57 pm
IF YOU PUT YOUR DIRTY BLACK HANDS ON ME
IMMA PUT YA BACK IN JAIL
Don't Put Your Hands on Me by Charley Jordan blasts throughout the whole arena. Brantley walked out with his belt tightly around his waist and a microphone preparing to announce himself, he was really going to outdo himself with this one. He looked at his opponents and smirked before he announced his entrance.
"Coming to the ring, BRANTLEY SUMMERS!"
With that Brantley stepped off the stage and lazily walked down the ramp. He threw smoke bombs in an attempt to make the crowd excited. That would've worked if everyone didn't hate him. Brantley sent a cue to the special effects man and strobes lights and more bright flashing lights started going of. A man in the front row had a seizure and Brantley laughed at him before rolling in the ring. He then went to a turnbuckle and lifted his gloved arm up in a victorious manner before hopping down and waited for the ring.
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Posted: Wed Apr 17, 2013 5:13 pm
rofl Looks like it's a heel-off tonight! What will the crowd hate more?! Cartwright's swag-life or Brantley's crowd-punishing light show?! Cartwright rather liked the lights and laughed at the seizure suffering man and shouted ROFL at him, without actually rolling on the floor laughing.
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Posted: Fri Apr 19, 2013 1:39 pm
One thing Summers knew he couldn't hold a candle to was the sheer swag Cartwright had. He was an old man who was keeping hip with the times, and no matter how creepy it was, a grown man acting like a cheerleader was accepted. Summers knew he would have to outwit Cartwright, which would be a major challenge. As the bell rang, Summers immediately grabbed his crotch and looked at Cartwright.
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Posted: Fri Apr 19, 2013 3:14 pm
Cartwright looks rather bemused as Brantley cups himself in-front of Cartwright. Maybe Brantley just had particularly itchy balls tonight, perhaps from the sweat and fear of knowing that he is in the ring with Cartwright?! That and it's a hot arena, the fans are crammed in like a tin of tuna. Maybe he finds Cartwright incredibly attractive and thought that the best way to hide his erection was to make sure everybody saw him try to hide his raging boner?! That would be a terrible strategy for Summers going into this match, Cartwright could use that against him at any moment!
Cartwright casually leans against the top ropes as he wonders if Brantley would get DQ'ed for using his stiffy as a foreign object in this match. And also, what if Cartwright is trying to be all legit and 'accidentally' strikes the Summers Sword?! There's nothing in the rulebook about this situation!
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Posted: Sun Apr 21, 2013 11:42 am
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Posted: Sun Apr 21, 2013 4:37 pm
Should Summers even have an erection, Cartwright was in no need to worry. There was no 'Summers Sword' but more of a 'Summers Butter Knife' and there was some serious doubt that it could harm a fly.
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Posted: Mon Apr 22, 2013 12:01 pm
Cartwright cautiously approaches Brantley, he is very wary of his pocket rocket! Somebody with as much swag as Cartwright should not be put into this situation! When he gets in range, he attempts a high kick to Brantley's head!
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Posted: Tue Apr 23, 2013 2:39 pm
Summers was too distracted by his sword/knife/whatever it is to get out of the way of the foot of Cartwright. His face shot to the side as he slowly fell to the mat, not moving very much until he suddenly flailed about holding his face.
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Posted: Tue Apr 23, 2013 3:52 pm
Now this horny Summers fellow is flopping around like a fish on the mat! Perhaps he is performing some sort of mating dance! Cartwright is lucky that he gets to work with the best talent in the WWE:E! Whatever! Cartwright jumps into the air, aiming a double stomp to put the fish out of his misery!
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Posted: Wed Apr 24, 2013 5:37 pm
Summers thought for sure that he had Cartwright in his hands with his love-inducing spell, but he was wrong. Cartwright sailed through the air like a seagull finding its prey and landed both feet onto Summers. Brantley jerked into a u-shape immediately after the impact before landing back flat on his face.
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Posted: Sat Apr 27, 2013 10:34 am
Yeah that's right! Cartwright attacks Brantley, the same way a seagull attacks tourists with chips to steal on the beach....viciously! Cartwright takes a few steps away from Brantley, as if he is a seagull ready to catch his next meal. He waits for Brantley to get to his knees and would then charge at him, attempting a Shining Wizard so impressive, he'd become the King of the Gulls.
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Posted: Sat Apr 27, 2013 1:33 pm
Summers thought for a second and remembered something he learned about the British, they call fries, chips. Fish and chips are fish and fries, would the seagulls not be more after the fish? Were the seagulls Irish? So many questions left unanswered and yet only one received the satisfaction of a conclusion, the Shining Wizardo connected straight knee to face with Summers and Cartwright had the advantage. Summers fell back first and would lie there spread like a starfish, which he assumed seagulls could eat.
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Posted: Sun Apr 28, 2013 4:01 pm
Everyone knows that chips are superior to fries, because fries are from France and France sucks. What did the French ever do for the World except wave their white flag and eat stinky old cheese whenever they get the chance? Cartwright is glad that he is showing Brantley what the...pecking...order is around here. He goes for the cover on Summers, ruining his amazing starfish impression in the process.
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