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 Posted: Fri Apr 12, 2013 9:37 pm
He hadn't slept the previous night, and it showed, Alexandre had been too busy pacing around the house as he shook with silent sobs. His arms wrapped about himself as if to offer himself the comfort no one else could as his mind tormented him. He knew if he slept he'd only wake up screaming from nightmares, and he deserved them in his opinion. He couldn't unsee what he'd done yesterday to Johnathan and that was the problem, not just that he couldn't unsee it but that it had happened! It shouldn't have happened and it had and in part it was because Remarque had told Johnathan he could promote him. Johnathan had been so convinced that he'd driven Alexandre, as Benitoite, to give him his wish. That wish though had turned into a nightmare for Alexandre and the blond didn't even want to guess what it was for Johnathan - if there was even a Johnathan Miller left. The idea that there might be anything remaining of Johnathan Miller, or even just Bazzite, would drive him even madder if he thought on it for more than a scant few moments.
This morning though Alexandre was a man on a mission. He'd dragged himself into his kitchen this morning, from where he'd been curled up in a window sill, and managed to make himself a light breakfast of egg whites with salt and pepper and some hash browns. After that he'd showered and dressed all the while ignoring the dark rings under his puffy, and still red, eyes. Most would think this was all over his mother and they would be partially right. A lot of this was over the unknown incidents which had unfolded the previous night.
Once he'd eaten, and picked himself up a large espresso from his favorite coffee house, he'd headed for the antique shop where he hoped to see Jett. The store should be opening right around now and he was planning to talk to the other. While one might expect the blond to shout, scream, and yell, maybe even lash out physically, at the other Alexandre would do none of that. He was too drained, both emotionally and physically, to do any such thing. He just...he needed to talk to the other. he needed someone to talk to. While he might be upset with Remarque he also had no anger in him and he couldn't seem to make himself angry.
Upon arrival he parked in the pack, almost in the exact same spot he'd parked in the first time he'd come here, and getting out he shuffled his way around front and headed up the small wooden staircase to the door. His hot drink being sipped at the whole while, the blonds head ducked down as his bangs curtained his face and hid his eyes from view.
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Posted: Tue Apr 16, 2013 5:06 pm
As he was sometimes cursed to do, Remarque had come in early. There had been shipments in earlier this week and stocking and cataloging the new arrivals had been a long, tedious process. Four days into it, and he was only just now nearing the end of it—not that he had much to show. He was dressed and well as always; his hair was tied into a short ponytail sprouting from the middle of the back of his head; he wore reading glasses, sharp and sophisticated, as he skimmed over the text in front of him.
Typically customers did not come in this early; even the elderly, with too much time on their hands, didn't make it in for another hour or so. There was the familiar chime of the door opening, and grateful for something to distract him from the mundane task in front of him, he lifted his eyes hopefully.
"Alex," he greeted, recognizing the male almost immediately. Something seemed a bit off, but it was easy to attribute such to the dismal weather; it had started raining some time last night and hadn't stopped since. He'd woken to a heavy curtain of dark clouds smothering the sunlight, and so it had remained. The rain had settled in a constant drizzle, and at the sight of Alexandre and his drink, he instinctively reached for his coffee. "You're here early. I didn't know you'd be dropping by or I'd have pulled out a few candle holders to show you. A few new ones came in, I can pull them out if you'd be interested?"
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Posted: Tue Apr 16, 2013 6:54 pm
Dismal weather or not the blond looked a mess. His long hair was free from it's usual confines, or at least partially, as he'd made the effort this morning to pull it back with a hair holder to secure it in place. It had just...come out, mostly, at some point. And the blond obviously wasn't all that inclined to fix his hair, at least not at the moment as was apparent by his lack of doing anything.
The drink he had was more than needed. he was running on little sleep, more caffeine than he should, and was stressed and like a rubber band pulled far too tightly. It was only a matter of time before he snapped, though maybe he already had? Last night had been a disaster which could be seen as him snapping - finally. After days of abuse it wouldn't be a surprise really. It would have just been a few days over do really.
Waving his hand he shook his head slowly. A sip from his drink as he made his approach and found something to sit on. Easily seating himself he set his drink down on the counter top near where Jett's drink was. "No, not today." Biting his lip he ducked his head. He couldn't go flying off the handle, he simply couldn't. he had to contain himself verbally and emotionally. He knew it and even though he wanted to do those things he wondered if he could? Was he strong enough to keep himself in line? He wished he had a sure answer to that question but he didn't.
"Can I ask you something? And can you promise not to breath a word of anything I say to anyone else?" He heard no one else here so he felt it a safe time and place to discuss business, had he heard any noises around the place he'd not have whispered a word to the other, even the few he already had.
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Posted: Thu Apr 18, 2013 10:44 pm
The mood of the store seemed to sink; Jett felt a twinge of concern wriggling in the pit of his stomach. It was an unfamiliar sensation, and one he often strived to suppress. He decided to humor it—and Alexandre—and nodded. "My lips are sealed, Alex. Feel free to ask anything you like."
He stood up a little straighter, reaching for a rag to polish off the display case next to him. He was more than interested in hearing whatever it was that Alex had to say, but he didn't want to come across as too eager. Busying his hands gave him the excuse to move, which was an excellent cover for his bubbling curiosity. He kept his head slightly bowed to give the impression of actually focusing on what he was doing, however his eyes frequently flicked up to Alex's face as he searched for any explanation towards his current state.
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Posted: Thu Apr 18, 2013 11:13 pm
While the other pretended to busy himself, in order to hide his curiosity, the blond initiator of this conversation kept looking down at his hands and biting at his bottom lip. It took time to formulate what to say and how to say it. But finally he found his words and started to talk.
"Don't take anything I say, or ask, in a negative manner. Wording things is hard and for some things it's impossible to make something sound nice or good. But I'd like to ask if you ever spoke with Bazzite about promotion or rather more specifically about me being able to promote him to General." He hoped the other wouldn't take his words as accusing him of something, once he told Jett what had happened. He liked the others company and the friendship they had and he'd very much like to keep it, he liked having Remarque as an ally in this war. The other he could trust and he knew he was competent and could hold his own in a fight. He'd seen him in the ambush and worked with him there.
"I ask because last evening Bazzite came to me looking for me to promote him. He said you'd mentioned it to him - that I should be able to." Should he explain why Bazzite was looking for a promotion? It was likely that Jett would ask so Alexandre didn't mention it. It would come up and he knew it.
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Posted: Sun Apr 21, 2013 10:03 pm
Jett's eyes met Alexandre's immediately; initially he was trying to rack his brain and recall if he had said anything to Bazzite. Alexandre's calmness in topic made him want to think that everything was all right, but there were enough oddities in his demeanor that he didn't feel off the hook, yet.
"Perhaps," he said slowly. "Though I do not know the workings of the Negaverse. I teased him a few times, that he was only Captain. I told him he should talk to you about fixing that." He didn't wait long to ask the important question—"Why?"
Come to think of it, he really had no idea how a Negaverse Agent would power up. He had never heard of a cat being involved, but most of the Negaverse felt like a mystery to him. He had only ever experienced the senshi side of things (and it's not like many knights or negaverse agents had been exceptionally forthcoming with information on such sensitive topics). Regardless of how an agent actually ranked up, there was no denying that Bazzite could have used help—a lot of help—and Benitoite was among the most reliable agents he knew. If someone was going to help the Captain grow, should it not have been his mentor?
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Posted: Mon Apr 22, 2013 12:03 pm
Listening to the other he nodded. It seemed Jett remembered it and while he wanted to shout at him for teasing Bazzite, considering things right now he didn't like the idea of people teasing Bazzite, but the blond refrained if only just.
"Last night we came to me, beaten and bloody from going after someone, and begged me to promote him." Slowly, hesitating, he let his words come slowly as he thought over them before he spoke. He didn't want to loose himself to his emotions; he couldn't afford it right now. Last night and his loss of control on them had cost him - greatly. He wasn't willing to see what other costs his emotions might rack up for him, at least not right now.
"So you know how a person is corrupted into the Negaverse? Or promoted?" He asked seemingly off topic; and yet completely on topic still. "Do they really keep our allies so clueless - although there are some things I don't know as well." Such as the fact that he couldn't promote someone. Now he knew though and he wished he didn't. The way he's learned and the price of learning it were too high - far too high.
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Posted: Tue Apr 23, 2013 11:12 pm
The idea of someone roughing up Bazzite just made Jett angry; he excused himself for teasing the Captain because beneath it all, he liked Bazzite. The idea that someone would hurt him was revolting—enraging. Alex had not dwelled on it, though Jett couldn't but wonder who had done it and if Alex wanted help getting even.
Clueless wasn't something he liked being called, but he forgave Alex—particularly because it was true. No one had ever sat him down or given him the lay down on how the Negaverse worked. "No, actually. That's not something I have any knowledge of. I assume you don't just pop out of rocks, but beyond corrupted knights," he shrugged, "I never really looked into it. I suppose I should have asked you earlier."
There were a number of topics he had meant to ask; Benitoite had always been the most reliable source of information. Things just always seemed to pile up, to distract him. They just got buried.
There was a nagging in the back of his head, like he'd messed up somewhere.
He just couldn’t figure out where.
"How does it happen?" he asked, hunching forward and resting his elbows on the counter. He made no effort to pretend to wipe it off; Alex had his full attention, now.
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Posted: Wed Apr 24, 2013 12:46 am
"It's something I'm not surprised you never asked about. It's rather...painful our introduction into chaos. I think if you ask any of us they will remember it being painful, beyond anything else they'd suffered. And each promotion is the same." And one might wonder why go through with it? Why seek promotions when it was painful. Maybe they'd forgive you seeking Captain, figuring you didn't think it would be painful after joining the Negaverse. But after that who would want to and seek to become a General, knowing the pain which would give that promotion and new power.
"How does it happen..." Trailing off he tilted his head. "You've seen someone's starseed taken, correct?" He asked; but didn't wait for an answer. "A hand, of the person bringing you into darkness, enters your chest and finding your starseed it takes hold. From there they push their dark energy into your starseed. I remember the pain was blinding and yet euphoric. It left you unaware of even screaming. I only know I did because my throat was raw after it. It was the same when I became a Captain and again when I became a General. I'd say the pain is unlike anything else."
And he paused here as he finished explaining how things went. Was it painful for Remarque when he got promoted? Had it been painful when he became a dark mirror senshi? He wanted to ask but he didn't right now - not yet. Worked up now, from the talking and explaining, the paler blond stood up and paced. Only right in front of where he'd been. He was working himself up, had been since he started to really get into explaining things. it couldn't be helped. he'd told himself he'd been a tight leash on himself but he couldn't seem to. It was too soon but he needed to talk.
"The funny thing is - is that a General or higher can corrupt. But apparently only a General King or General Queen can promote someone. I tired - I really tried. He told me you'd said I should be able to and I thought that it made sense - I should be able to do it!" Fingers roughly moved through his hair, pulling on the strands of ash blond. "I went to give him what he begged for and demanded from me. I wanted to make him a General....he deserved it. He was going to avenge my mother by taking out her shooter." Did the other even know about that? Had he seen the news? Some people never read a news paper or saw the news on tv. Was Jett one of them?
"It all went well at first but then - then it happened. His starseed started to give and I couldn't get y hand from him..l-like it was stuck. His starseed shattered in my hand." And he broke off as he stood, looking at the other, his hands out in front of him.
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Posted: Thu Apr 25, 2013 10:25 pm
In Alexandre's informative spiel, Remarque found himself with a slight bit more respect for the Negaverse. There was no pain when it came time for a Dark Mirror Senshi to awaken, to upgrade; he wondered if he would have been as enthusiastic about serving his Court if the introduction had hurt.
He had never seen a starseed taken, so Alex's description put quite a graphic image in his mind. The Negaverse seemed so much darker when it was described like that; he could see why the White Moon was always accusing them of being the bad guys.
It didn't make them any more right though.
Sometimes great sacrifice was required for great gain.
Remarque wished that was the only thing he could dwell on. He stared blankly at Alex for a long moment, as if waiting for the story to continue—for there to be more than just that.
He wished he could have asked what was going on with Alex's mother; he spent his mornings with the news on and had more than enough time around here to skim through the papers, though he hadn't made any connections.
The silence was deadening; he could feel his heart throbbing in anticipation, could hear the blood rushing through his ears as he waited. Alex just didn't say anything else.
"And?" he prompted, trying to piece together all the information. What happened? Alex couldn’t finish on that note—what had happened to Bazzite? He hadn't taken a breath and he was clutching the rag he'd been cleaning with, staring at the shorter blonde expectantly.
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Posted: Sat Apr 27, 2013 12:25 pm
It was what he could fight for the right side in this war, pain or not, which kept him fighting and taking the pain that his promotions ave dealt him. Each time he had braced himself, as though he could somehow prepare himself properly for it. Each time he'd found himself sorely mistaken and now as he was a General he knew himself to not have to go through that pain ever again. And yet it wasn't something he thought on, the pain he would no longer suffer, his focus on the mission and the war. And right now it was focused on sharing knowledge with Remarque - Jett.
"I - " He went to start and then stopped and then tried again, taking a different approach. "During the first war it was the people, the civilians, who broke their way into the throne room - for the palace of Earth. They weren't met by Earth's prince though, perhaps things would not be as they are not had that happened. Rather it was the Moon's Queen they found." He said. He knew, somewhere in the back of his mind, that it sounded completely off topic but it would make sense soon. It was the best way, the easiest way, for him to explain things to Remarque.
"When she lashed out with her power she shattered some of those, if not all of those, peoples starseeds." And that was where the connection came in! "They became youma...I - I made Bazzite a youma..." And that was what he'd been getting to.
"The pain he was in during it...d-during the change." He whispered while tugging at his bangs as he paced in front of the other. "He talks like Bazzite but he's not there. There is nothing behind those words - not who he was." Was, yes because Bazzite was dead in a non-physical sense.
"And when it gets out, as I'm sure it will, I'll be in some form of trouble." He was sure of it. Why would he not be? Considering he'd over stepped the bounds, even if he had not known it, and look what he'd done to a promising officer.
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Posted: Sat Apr 27, 2013 10:48 pm
The information seemed random—until Alexandre got to the point. Jett stared, for a long moment, not quite sure he could process what the male was saying. The words were there—he understood the words—just not their meaning.
He wasn't the best with emotions; he could see Alex, could process—he was upset. Worried, guilty, sad. But what was he supposed to do? Clap him on the shoulder, hug him? Condolences were never Jett's strong suit, so instead of responding, he stood there, just staring at the male.
One thing at a time. That’s all. Bazzite was a youma.
Bazzite was a youma.
His mind flashed to the nasty, vile creatures, braindead and hulking around, sapping energy however they could. He couldn't see Bazzite like that, and even if Alex had insisted that he talked like Bazzite…it wasn't him?
There was a brief surge of guilt that he had somehow been responsible for this, immediately followed by what justifications. It was Bazzite's fault. And Benitoite's. Not his. How could he be blamed if Bazzite misinterpreted something? It never would have happened if Benitoite had been more resolute. Or—what about the rest of the Negaverse? It was their fault, they should have informed their agents better. Or Ares fault—or Leto's. If either had told him, he never would have planted this seed. They knew more about the Negaverse than he did.
His pulse had quickened as he had his internal debate, though outwardly he seemed as calm as ever.
"You won't be in trouble," he insisted, though if anyone should have known of Jett's lack of information on the Negaverse, it was Alex. "—Did you know?"
He couldn't have. Benitoite and Bazzite were best friends, weren't they? Jett had never been able to think of them without immediately associating the other in some way. If the General hadn't known, certainly the Negaverse wouldn't punish who he considered one of their best agents—not for something of questionable blame. He changed his question; "Do they know? Do they have to? Find an excuse, make one up. I'll back you up. You won't get in trouble for this," he insisted.
Jett wouldn't admit to grief. To guilt.
But it was there. It showed, in his desperation to protect Alex from any reprimand or punishment.
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Posted: Sun Apr 28, 2013 12:01 am
"No, of course not. It's never something which has been brought up. I had wondered why Painite, who was training me at the time, hadn't promoted me. I thought it just that she hadn't wanted to, or because we hadn't seen one another in a while. I do hope it wasn't that she knew this and simply never thought to tell me - I'd like to think that in fact." And he hoped that was the case. If it was than why had no one been told? As he''d never heard of it nor had a clue or inkling even. Was it just that it had never come up? Just because something never came up didn't mean it shouldn't be brought up even if it seemed odd and out of place.
He felt guilt and he didn't blame Jett. He blamed himself, which was most easy to tell, and he wanted to blame Johnathan for pushing him. But his own emotions and his own feelings about the pale blue haired male had led to this all. It was all his fault. The seed planting might have been Jett's doing but the other wasn't a Negaverse agent. It wasn't his job to know. Though he maybe should have not said anything about a topic he had no clue. But how could he know that a General who could corrupt couldn't promote? He could see where a person should think a General should be able to accomplish both tasks.
"I would hide it - forever if I could. I just fear the eyes that we don't see and yet see everything." He was worried over Beryl or Zinkenite or one of the others as high as Zinkenite, or that higher power. He'd heard it that time at the Surrounding i space. It wasn't Beryl but it was certainly dark and powerful. He worried over anything higher than him finding out. And who knew if the youma talked and would tell anyone. And what if they had a meeting and Bazzite was summoned to it? Everyone would see his creation then, not just Zinkenite.
"I'm going to keep it as secret as I can for as long as I can. I can only hope when it gets out it's to few and anything done." To himself. "Is unknown to everyone." And while the other showed his own emotions the ah blond showed how much guilt he felt and that he deserved some punishment. But he wanted to keep it secret - all of it.
"This whole thing just says how much we lack in sharing information and giving it even to our own." He whispered after a moments pause.
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Posted: Wed May 01, 2013 11:00 pm
Jett nodded, albeit bitterly. "There was nothing you could have done," he reassured. "Just give them some made up story if they ask. It was a tough battle and he used up too much strength. That it was that or he died. They can't blame you for that, can they?" he asked; he was trying to calculate in his head how long Alex could keep Bazzite a secret, but in this moment more than ever he realized how little he knew about the Negaverse. He didn't know if they had watchful eyes observing their every movement, or if the General Kings had some way of summoning even the most private of information. He wasn't one to stick his neck out unless he knew he could get away with it, but Alex was worth it, right?
He would help in whatever way possible; he kept justifying it in his head that the Negaverse weren't stupid enough to kill one of their own. Not one so powerful, one who had worked so hard to serve them.
But they would, wouldn't they?
The Negaverse seemed to have little concern or care for the White Moon Senshi despite how much the Dark Mirror Senshi coveted them. They weren't enemies to Remarque, they were victims. Fools, prisoners. Of course, every now and then an unsalvageable senshi showed up, but they were few and far between. They didn't seem keen to save the knights, either; did that mean they would be so quick to discard one of their own?
"…Or is there someone you can talk to about? Level headed enough to understand the situation?"
…Or Alex could just try to sweep it under the rug. The Negaverse was so large; they lost agents all the time. Would one really be such a big deal?
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Posted: Thu May 02, 2013 6:00 pm
For a moment the idea of providing a made up story sounded good - so very good. But he really was a terrible liar, and he knew it. But could he give some sort of a half truth if it came to it? Would he be asked only after someone had gotten answers from Bazzite himself? Could they get information from Bazzite and know the whole sordid and ugly truth? If they could and then he was approached and questioned, and told some half truth, then perhaps it wasn't good to even try - just in case. He didn't want to think on what would happen if was caught in some trap and telling half truths, it would only make things worse. Maybe he was paranoid but he worked in the intelligence department so perhaps it was fitting that he be paranoid and untrusting of certain people. He didn't know how members of his team came by whatever information they came upon, didn't know what they could get their hands on and how far their reach was. So he was treading lightly and being paranoid.
"I would like to say there is. And there are but none with power and pull. There are so very few I trust enough to talk about this with. It is..." Trailing off, trying to work out his words, he shook his head as he focused on the other. "We have a department that even spies on other members and then any found disloyal are reported to another department to be dealt with accordingly. It makes trusting people very hard - gives birth to paranoia really. Who to trust and who not to? Who do you think you can trust but will in the end backstab you and turn you in over something. And if they'll only turn you in over certain things. This being as big as it is..." Trailing off again, he figured Jett could see where he was going with that.
"A few I can talk to but all lower in level than myself. For the most part this will have to remain between myself and a very select few - a well trusted few." Of which the other obviously belonged. For some reason Alexandre trusted Jett enough to not tell on him, to cover his back in a fight, and to cover him now outside of battle. He knew that if he got out of line, was seen to have done something so wrong, that he could and quiet possibly would be dispatched. He didn't hold to such childish thoughts of being worth more than his loyalty and ability to fight and do his job.
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