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 Posted: Fri Apr 12, 2013 3:14 pm
It was a week after the ...scene in the Citadel, and Kadryn had still to go back home. She'd slunk out after the healers had seen to her, flying high and fast to escape what had happened. She had seen the fear in people's eyes, the way they'd avoided her as Smilira had taken her through the Citadel to her room where she was told to rest a while.
Kadryn hadn't rested; she'd fled and was ashamed at her own cowardice. She should have been able to face those people.. it wasn't her fault.. no it was her fault. She should have better control, no matter what that arrogant p***k had said she shouldn't have gone berserk. Kadryn sighed to herself as she sat with her arms wrapped around her legs and stared out over Lake Tyluafel.
Why of all things had she done that? Now she couldn't bear to face her family. She'd tried to kill another person. It wasn't a dragon, he hadn't been trying to kill her and yet... What if she did that and it wasn't another warrior facing her, what if it was a civilian? A child? An elder who couldn't fight? Would she be able to reign in her rage and not hurt someone? It'd taken Smilira's help to stop her.. but what if a friend wasn't around to help what then?
These thoughts ran through her mind as she gloomily contemplated her life. How could she go back home now?
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Posted: Sun Apr 14, 2013 7:40 pm
Kavanna needed a day out and about. She needed to stretch her legs. Having a nice day at the lake would do her some good and it would keep her mind off of things. She packed a basket full of fresh fruits and foods and readied herself for the day.
The breeze blew by her, flowing through her hair as she walked down the dirt paths between the trees and made her way to Lake Tyluafel. The sun gleamed and created an elegant sparkle that danced upon the lake's surface. The clear blue waters were immaculate and the day was perfect.
Kavanna sat her basket of foods down upon the bank of the lake and pulled off her sandals. Sitting down she slowly dipped her feet into the cool waters. It was so nice to have a day to rest before having to get back on with her training. It was then that she noticed a woman along the bank, curled up and obviously upset. Kavanna raised a brow, was something really wrong? Or was she just trying to keep to herself a bit. Obviously the Dovaa was a curious one, for nothing ever stopped her from checking things out. She slowly stood, picking up her basket and moving closer to the Orderite.
"Beautiful day today, isn't it?" Kavanna said with a bright smile upon her face when she was within earshot of the girl. Holding the basket in both hands, she continued. "Mind if I sit?" she asked as she eyed the Orderite from afar.
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Posted: Thu Apr 18, 2013 9:45 am
Kadryn was too absorbed in her gloomy thoughts to notice the tall dovaa woman approach. She started a little when the stranger spoke.
Her eyes flickered to her and then back to the lake.
"Mmm.. Sure go 'head." She mumbled sadly. "If you want to sit next to a berserker who can't control herself that is..."
The actions of the other Orderites that had fled or avoided her as she'd left the Citadel a week ago still weighed heavily upon her. She ignored the beautiful day comment. It was lovely, but Kadryn wasn't in the mood for lovely days. She wanted it to rain...
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Posted: Thu Apr 18, 2013 10:06 am
Kavanna was a bit confused. A berserker? Obviously this girl was referring to herself...but...Kavanna just couldn't see that in her, but who knew, obviously something had happened.
Kavanna took a seat a few feet from the Barbarian and opened the little basket to reveal a nicely packed lunch. Her glances continued, eyeing the girl every now and again just to see what she was doing. She just seemed so sad.
Finally, Kavanna decided to speak up. "Sometimes talking to a stranger about your problems is the best therapy. An outsider's opinion." she said, taking a small bite of her sandwich, keeping her gaze over the beautifully sparkling lake.
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Posted: Thu Apr 18, 2013 10:29 am
Kadryn turned to look at the older woman. She could see some scars, so perhaps this person wouldn't mind talking to her and wouldn't be disgusted or afraid of what she'd done.....
"... Promise you won't call me a monster or anything?" She asked pitifully. She'd caught muttered phrases behind her as she 'd been leaving, all of which hurt and burned. On one hand she was angry, it was only partly her fault that she'd gone berserk, it was the other guys fault for pushing and insulting her like that! But on the other hand, she knew what she'd done was wrong. She shouldn't have tried to kill him, shouldn't have lost control...
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Posted: Thu Apr 18, 2013 12:36 pm
Kavanna looked at the girl, puzzled. "Of course not. There are many true beasts out in our world, but you aren't one of them, by far." she said, concern in her voice. She set down her food and placed it back into the basket. Then she turned to face the Orderite.
"Please don't feel as though you have to talk to me. I'm simply here to listen if you wish." Kavanna said, a kind smile appearing on her face. She then waited for the Orderite to speak her mind if she so desired.
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Posted: Fri Apr 19, 2013 2:41 pm
Kadryn wanted to feel better from this lady's words.. but she didn't know... But, perhaps, just maybe, she would still feel the same even after Kadryn told her.. she could only hope..
"Then.. then just listen.. don't ..don't judge till I'm done....please." Kadryn swallowed, talking to Smilira was easy.. Smil had been there.. but Smil didn't really understand what it was like to be looked at with fear....
She spoke of what she'd done, of how she'd gone to spar with the others in the Citadel, of how she'd been trained in her town's school and that the so called 'ace' of the class at the Citadel had pestered her friend into getting her to come spar. She growled a little when she came to the actual battle, it still pissed her off that he'd said those things, that he'd insulted her and her teachers. The Kadryn stopped for a few seconds, her chin resting on her knees as she stared out over the lake, eyes looking but not seeing anything. Her mind on that battle.
"I.. I went berserk. I suddenly stopped sparring and began to fight. A real fight. I treated him as I would a Dragon, an enemy. I hit to maim, to hurt, to kill.... He wasn't expecting it.. I'd been fighting defensively so I wouldn't hurt him.. so when I swung to hurt, it hit his shoulder.. I heard it crunch and the collar bone shatter and pierce through his skin.. and I didn't stop.. I kicked him and then hit him again... sent him flying away from me..." She drew in a shuddering breath...
"That's what saved him... it sent him away from me and the others ran in between us.. but.. I still didn't stop.. I wanted to kill him, rend him to pieces! And the ones who stood between me and him were enemies too! I attacked them.... " She went quiet and her lower lip trembled.... how could she have done that? How could she not have been able to tell friend from foe? At this moment she hated and feared herself... what if she went berserk at home? What if her baby brother was the one she hit next?! Her hands tarted to tremble...
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Posted: Sun Apr 21, 2013 1:21 pm
Kavanna's eyes widened as the girl finished her tale. It was a tragic one, for sure, but Kavanna knew that this girl regretted every moment spent fighting. The only thing she could do was give a sigh of relief. She took off her hat and set it beside her atop the basket, thinking of the right words to say.
"I don't judge you. Everyone has a right to a second chance. You shouldn't beat yourself up over a mistake. You're truly sorry, I can see that. You were coated by blood lust, something that you'll need to learn to control. Everyone has that sensation of killing when it's for revenge, especially in your case, with the boy who said those hurtful things. You'll be able to control it, you just need to take some time away and truly realize how powerful you really are. I remember when I had that same sensation beating the Aiskala dragon's for the first time. The white snow spattered with their red blood. It was a beautiful sight to me...at that point anyway." Kavanna said with a smirk, turning her conversation back to the girl and her problem, Kavanna continued. "But you shouldn't let this get you down. So you showed that boy who's boss, obviously he won't be messing with you again anytime soon, and you didn't kill him. Be thankful for that fact. Technically you may have saved his life. Maybe that was a learning experience for him...he probably won't pick on people any longer either." Kavanna said, realizing her words may not be as soothing to the girl as she first intended, but nevertheless, she tried to help to the best of her ability.
The Dovaa looked at the girls face and realized how broken down this girl had become. Kavanna looked into her basket of food, pulling out a second sandwich. "Care to join me in my meal? I think you need something to eat." Kav said, offering the sandwich to the girl.
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Posted: Mon Apr 22, 2013 8:29 pm
Kadryn's fear ebbed a little as she listened to the older woman. Hearing an adult say the same things Smil had somehow made more sense. Maybe it was because she was a neutral source, someone who didn't have to lie to make her happy that mad Kadryn believe what this woman said.
Her eyes widened when she heard that this tall and stately woman had felt anger similar to hers,
"You.. you mean you, a non-barbarian, have felt the... that type of rage? I.. I thought only berserkers did... never really heard of any others that felt that felt this type of consuming rage." Kadryn's eyes held more hope; if others had felt this way, other people that weren't barbarians, then perhaps she wasn't quite so dangerous and uncontrollable as she thought. Perhaps she was stressing too much...
The her knotted stomach and muscles relaxed slightly. This lady had been right; talking to a stranger really was helping. As her body relaxed a bit her stomach woke up. Growling discontentedly it reminded Kadryn she hadn't eaten yet today.
She smiled wanly and accepted the offered sandwich with a thanks.
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Posted: Tue Apr 30, 2013 11:16 pm
Kavanna gave a soft smile. "No, dear. Everyone experiences rage in their life. It's just a matter of being able to control that rage and gear it towards something else. Alright, take my little brother Karak for instance. He's a spitfire for sure, a Firani Dovaa at that. He's got a temper like you wouldn't believe. If he begins to experience anger towards someone that isn't an enemy, he oftentimes goes out into Soudul, Serenia, or even Eowyn and battles dragons instead. But, he's learned that his anger is fuel and he has also learned that without control, fire burns. Just keep that in mind, okay?" she said, slowly standing from her sitting position.
She looked out over the beauty of the lake. "I'm Kavanna by the way. It was a pleasure to meet you. I live just outside of Ashen City near the beach just inside the forest. If you ever need to talk, I'll be around. Maybe we can meet up again one day?" she concluded. She awaited a response before doing anything else.
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Posted: Sat May 04, 2013 8:34 am
"That's.. comforting to know." She sniffed a little. Comforting but still.. she hadn't seen anyone else ever try to kill one of their own kind before...She needed some time and space to get past this. Time to think and learn control where she wouldn't hurt anyone. And maybe she'd go dragon hunting for a while to help.. that always made her feel better....
She gave a small smile as she stood up too.
She held out her hand to shake as she finished the sandwich.
"Thank you m'am. I'm Kadryn and.. maybe if I ever go back to that city I'll look you up. Right now I want to avoid it since that's where..." She shook her head.
"I'm going to go spend time away from people, in the wilds and learn to control my anger. Then, maybe you'll see me again." She gave Kavanna a nod of thanks and unfurled her large wings and took a few steps away before launching herself into the sky.
Her wings, once as blue as her hair, had darkened to a grey. She saw it and a thought came to her. Grey for mourning and grey for death. It would serve as a warning to herself; death came from her hands and she would have to be careful, much more careful in the future.
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