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 Posted: Mon Apr 01, 2013 5:56 pm
...Quote: There's something I'd like to discu text to lex I'm down at the oceanic observation deck, can we talk?
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Posted: Mon Apr 01, 2013 11:05 pm
The text received and a bit of worry creasing Lex's face, the man hurriedly put his coat and scarf on and headed to the portal that would take him to the underwater observation deck and, more importantly, Ami. The tech on duty didn't even have time to say 'boo' before Lex went through with a quick step, anticipation peeking through the broad grin he'd slapped on for the public.
'Can we talk' was a question Lex knew very, very well. It meant a myriad of different things, but they all boiled down to one singular core: disappointment. Usually it was because Sarah or Jane or whatever the redheaded woman from the laundromat's name was had found out that the club manager had been seeing Mary or Ingrid on the side, but sometimes it was because of a pregnancy scare (no positive tests, the girls had just read them wrong) or the one time he was told to get himself checked. That hadn't been fun.
None of that had happened, though. He hadn't been seeing anyone else, Ami was sterile and more importantly intelligent enough they hadn't even had sex yet - thus eliminating the need to check himself for anything. So...why woud she use that phrase?
A hand went on the petite woman's shoulder, giving it a light squeeze as he stared out at the open blue frontier. "You needed to see me?"
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Posted: Mon Apr 01, 2013 11:20 pm
Ami hadn't even heard him come in, she'd been too busy staring out at the ocean. It normally relaxed her to sit in front of the oceanic observation windows. Junpei would fill her mind with chatter about the fish or objects he saw, and she could let her mind drift elsewhere while he entertained himself. On good days she'd even ask him questions, let him teach her things.
Today was silence. She shook her head, turning to the man she'd invited to the room. She subtly used a turn to the window to brush him off, without making it noticeable that she was uncomfortable.
In fact, Ami didn't look like she was feeling anything at the moment. Her face held the same complacent nothingness that she'd had the day she met Lex. "I've never liked small talk. I ..." She leaned against the silver bar, both arms hunching her over. "Since we've been together have you had ... feelings for other people?" Her voice dropped to something eerily calm. "Please just be honest." A tiredness colored her tone. This game had stale in her midst.
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Posted: Tue Apr 02, 2013 4:03 pm
Eyes narrowed and brow creased, Lex decided that touching Ami right now wouldn't be the best of ideas. He could tell when someone wanted to not be touched, and did his best to comply with their wishes. If Ami was in a non touchy mood (which wasn't uncommon), Lex put his hands in his pockets and bit his lip.
Then the question. Who had told her? He'd only confessed his worried to Marcus and Eva - and Eva would never say anything about it. So, Marcus then. Regal hummed in the back of his head, whispering something about vengeance for crossing the man's trust. Lex wanted to agree with the Gryphon, but why throw another wrench into this budding - and possibly about to be cut off - relationship? He'd just talk with the man later. Surely it had just been out of his want to protect Ami, right? They were close and all...
"No." His statement was flat, unemotional - masked to hide the irritation and shame he felt. He crossed his arms on the bar, keeping a good two feet from the petite woman. "Not once."
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Posted: Tue Apr 02, 2013 6:45 pm
So this wasn't going to be easy. "Is it unfair to say I don't believe you," Ami said quietly. Not angry, but not calmly either. Just quietly.
"You agree to our date, you deny infidelity, but another hunter tells me you're interested in sleeping around- that you're not even sure if you want to pursue our relationship. It doesn't match up." Hard eyes stared at locked fingers. What did that make her then? Certainly they hadn't been sleeping together, so he must've been doing it elsewhere. "So I'm an emotional kick to your physical pastime, then." It wouldn't have been the first time.
There was a flat and simple explanation. "I don't- I can't do this again Lex. We should just end it now." It would be easiest. Everything was about what made sense. Everything was about Lex's happiness. If he felt tethered, she wouldn't hold on. She was still surprised he'd agreed in the first place. "You can do whatever you please." Kinder eyes placed themselves on the blue openness. A serene smile came across her as she turned to face Lex with every ounce of control she had. "I don't mind waiting."
--
"So ... I have a shitton of schoolwork to do before the semester ends. Like 50 spreads to do and the geeks over in AV haven't sent me my screentones yet."
"Which gallery? The songbird one?"
"Yeah. The uh. The prof moved it up a month. I just think ... with the wedding and the gallery in the same month, it'll be really tough, y'know?"
"I see."
"So ... May?"
"We've already done this twice though, don't you think our guests are starting to get annoyed?"
"Yeaaaah, well ... There's not much I can do."
Pause.
"Listen, maybe we should-"
"I- May is fine. I don't mind waiting."
--
That made two lies.
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Posted: Tue Apr 02, 2013 10:44 pm
Uncrossing his arms and gripping the bar, Lex kept a tight reign on any irrational anger he was feeling. "Ah, well...Marcus must have skewed my words a little." More like a lot. He didn't say he was still interested in sleeping around and, if Lex remembered correctly, the taller man had said 'I want to love Ami.' "Sleeping around...well, yes. I was interested in that, before we agreed to date." His face hardened, knuckles going a bit whiter as he gripped harder. "And I do. Want to pursue you, that is." It'd taken time and a few long text conversations with Eva, but Lex was almost certain that he cared enough about Ami to set aside his old feelings towards commitment.
Well... He would try, at least. Ami seemed keen on making that difficult today, however.
He walked away from the metallic bar, opting to pace. Pacing always worked; helped him keep calm, even with a chiding Gryphon telling him that he should just do what his girlfriend was telling him. Break it off, he said. Break it off and mate with all the females.
< You think I'm a Gryphon? Women aren't just breeding stock. >
<< Your memories indicate you think otherwise, whelp. >>
He took the blow with a shot of chagrin mixed with shame. His past did indicate other ways of thinking. "What do you mean again? You said Wilson never reciprocated emotionally."
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Posted: Tue Apr 02, 2013 11:23 pm
Ami took a deep breath. She'd expected Lex to simply apologize. Maybe fight with her about it, but in the end break it up quickly. Kind words and denial weren't on the agenda, nor had they ever been. She'd never received kind words well whilst at Deus Ex. Everything had seemed so fake. No. Almost everything.
She was glad she'd made the choice to leave Junpei at home. He would've clouded her judgment. It was funny, she could practically finish his sentences now. He'd be a buzz with the news. Ami was grateful- the clarity was concise, decisive.
A dark look passed over her face, one that very few got to bear witness to. It was the only thing she couldn't control, the only emotion she couldn't capture and store away.
Was Lex privvy to this information? Not particularly at the moment. Her only justification was that she trusted him enough not to reveal it. How complicated it was, to trust someone as you were breaking up with them. On the other hand, Lex might use it against her. He could misunderstand the entire reason she was revealing it.
She bit her lip. Hesitation rippled the air as she watched Lex pace. For a moment she'd didn't respond at all. They sat in stagnant silence, nothing but the low hum of the machines, the harsh florescent light flickering every once in a while. The guards were all posted at the other end of the observation tank, well away from their sight.
Ami turned back to the bar, which she hadn't moved from. She couldn't look at him, for fear that the shame she felt would be written across her face. "I suppose that is a fair question. Explanation is in order." Absolutely monotony. There was nothing in her voice, a shell of how it should've sounded. "Just don't interrupt." A heavy sigh as she thought where would be the best point to begin. Instead of a whimsical, proper storyteller's beginning, she gave blunt facts. Anything else would've been too difficult. "Before Deus I was engaged. To a man named Adam." She put a hand over her eyes, as the conversation seemed to age her. "Considering he was the one I was going to share everything with, I thought he'd accept our ability." She spat the word ability. She'd never call it a gift. It wasn't one. "He didn't. Our relationship grew listless. We were young, I suppose, but I thought six years would suffice through any storm." Ami felt disconnected from the entire room. A new level to her turtle imitation. "I came home early from a canceled class to find him with a woman I'd never seen before." It still kept her up at night to wonder how long it'd been going on. Since she'd told him? Only a few days? The whole time?
The implication was obvious. "You can imagine why I fled to Deus. I mistaked Wilson's kindness for affection. I've tried every drink we have on this island, it doesn't work, neither does fighting nor reading, nor eliminating any number of monsters they throw at me. I've taken pod measurements before- I am not afraid to die anymore." She looked down, ashamed of her own actions. "Some instances improved. I made what few friends I have. It wasn't enough." Her mind flashed to Tori and Mads, Kat, others. What would they say about all this? They wouldn't- Ami would make sure her secret was never leaked. Tight lips and kept promises. "Horsemen. Locked up in a small cell. They- physical, yes. Mental was worse." A slightly crazed look entered her eyes. "Not just things you've already experienced, things you could... things you won't. Like a wedding. Or your firstborn."
She gave both Lex and herself a pause. It was a long story. "Worse yet they left me with nobody to make it better. Junpei was snapped in front of my eyes, as a twig."
Honestly the next part of the story she couldn't even remember. There were parts of her memory too filled with holes and darkness to return to. "You can imagine the rest, you were there," she finished somewhat quietly. "I'm not ready. I won't be. I'm tired Lex." Weary eyes looked out at the ocean by the time she finished, full of regrets and loose ends. She felt like she was going to vomit, her hands shaking lightly. "So let's not begin something neither of us can finish. Are we through?"
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Posted: Wed Apr 03, 2013 9:46 pm
To say Lex was shocked would be a gross understatement of the man's current frame of mind. Bewilderment didn't do much greater justice, but it was closer to what he was feeling. What she told him did fill in all the blank puzzle pieces of the woman before she'd ran into Lex, and some part of the tall man was glad to have all that information, but he was in no way ecstatic about her past. The irrational and emotional Lex wanted to hunt down Adam in New York and give him what for, but the more logical and quick to do Lex put himself in Adam's shoes. Your fiance tells you she can see monsters - and she's not joking? He would have been out of there too, had he not shared Ami's ability.
Then the Horsemen. Lex had always disliked them - they slaughtered humans for fun, after all - but this was a whole new level of debauchery. Giving her the things she obviously wanted via hallucinations, and then ripping them away? The next pony he saw was dead.
"No. Again, it was simple - but this time warm. He realized that through his anger and devastation and the whole slurry of negative emotions with everything she told him (yes Ami, he did catch the pods part), that Lex actually did care for Ami in a way that he hadn't for many other women. It was also a 'no' to tell himself that he wouldn't cheat on her, ever. He had seen what happened when he'd cheated on women with 'normal' lives - cheating on Ami would make everything a thousand times worse. "No." He repeated, not sure if he should touch her or not.
<< Claim her. >>
< No. Not like that. >
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Posted: Wed Apr 03, 2013 9:51 pm
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Posted: Wed Apr 03, 2013 10:23 pm
"No, we're not through." He said, trying to be as warm as the situation warranted. He wanted to stay with her, and he was damned well going to make it known. "I'll admit that before you asked me out I.... well, Marcus more than likely told you." A hand began to rub the back of his neck, a sheepish tone added to his voice. He wasn't sure if he was feeling actually remorseful for all that he'd done, or just that he was being called on it. "I wasn't the most faithful of people, and I realize how skeptical that must make you. I would worry too, in your shoes." A deep sigh as he leaned back on the bar, letting himself look out towards the schools of fish and dark silhouettes that swam around in the blue expanse.
"But, I'm done with that. You give me something none of the others ever did." He was just going to stop there. She was sassy to him, didn't put up with his womanizing and advances from day one, but was so vast and interesting and incredibly smart and pretty. "I want you."
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Posted: Wed Apr 03, 2013 10:51 pm
"And the day when you don't? If you get bored?" She looked at Lex with desperate eyes, trying to sort through her feelings logically, and ironically, unfeelingly. There were too many walls around her heart, too many barriers.
Three words she couldn't wrap her mind around. I, being Lex. The fact that Lex was still here with her, though his looks and incredibly charming personality could snag any girl he wanted. Want, he had a physical- no, romantic interest in her, that meant more than with others. You, in all her brokenness. "I ... I don't know."
She gave a sigh, finally letting out pent up frustrations from almost two years. It was worse learning from his perspective. The fact that he was giving up so much for her, that he was beginning anew. That someone could care for her so soundly was beyond her perception at this point. Lex had no strings, no wires. "Even knowing my paranoia will hinder my desires? My cynicism, breed depression?"
Ami wanted nothing more than to be the type of person who could say everything was okay, then run into his arms while the happy music played. In fact, more than anything she wanted his embrace as they talked, but it seemed awkward. Inappropriate. Finally, a decision. "I want you too- I want us." Finally, the truth. "I'm just afraid there will come a point when you don't want me." And finally a conclusion. "Because it's happened before."
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Posted: Sat Apr 06, 2013 12:47 am
He sat in silence for a while, mulling over his word choice. Normally, Lex was a very fast talker who made everything up on the fly and charmed his way out of awkward situations. Not today - not with Ami. She always had made him stop and think, and would probably continue to do so. He wanted to just kiss her sometimes, to get her to shut up and just enjoy them. He loved her lips and hated them all at once some days - her words always had a way of making or breaking him; and the same went with the rare kisses that went unseen. He'd never wanted to push her to anything she didn't want, but each and every kiss was as though his desire was being trampled into the ground.
He'd have to wait it out, though. He couldn't possibly do to her what Adam had done. He could stand the kissing and the arm strokes, if only to keep Ami out of a pod. Those simple touches would just have to be his bread and butter for a time.
"That day won't come." He stated flat out, not leaving any room for a different interpretation. He was definitive in his tone and firm in his cadence - he wouldn't grow tired of Ami. "Just promise you won't get tired of my skeletons." Those closets were deep, after all.
"Oh, and stop calling me an idiot." He chuckled, sliding his hand halfway to hers. "Regal hurls enough insults my way."
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Posted: Sat Apr 06, 2013 1:30 am
For once, the silence didn't bother her. She needed a moment with her own thoughts, a break from the tears that threatened in her mind, though never on her face. It was strangely comfortable, silence with Lex. It had always been threatening, impending, damning. Lex was none of those things.
A peaceful smile graced Ami's face. "Your skeletons are a handsome ivory," she recited, "Your flesh a pretty paint." Lex's subtle movements didn't go unnoticed. Instead of taking his hand, she slid under it, pressing herself to his side.
"But you are an idiot," she mumbled, pressing her nose into his chest. This felt far more natural than worrying and panicking and pain. Perhaps, even if it was a lie, she could pretend. Ami was clingy, dependent. As Marcus had said once, she'd make a bad thing work. Lex wasn't a bad thing though. He was warm and gentle, and kind- immensely kind.
Though they had an entire oceanic expanse in front of them, Ami was far more interested in the man beside her. "I'm sorry to be so dramatic," she murmured, "It's just hard to talk about."
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Posted: Sun Apr 07, 2013 6:47 pm
Tipping his head so his chin rested on Ami's head, Lex closed his eyes and let out a small sigh, completely content for now. Her poetry recital was appreciated, but her physical closeness even more so. One day, he thought, one day he would appreciate both her words and her touch on equal levels. He closed his eyes and let the silence just happen for a few brief moments, before clearing his throat.
"I understand." He murmured with a light smile, placing a small peck on her crown. One day she'd get to understand him too - just not today. They'd had enough drama, thank you very much, and as much as Lex loved having the petite woman pressed into him he had duties that needed attending to.
"I need to get to the infirmary, little turtle." He whispered with a grin, letting her slip out from beneath his arms. "Thanks for opening up to me."
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Posted: Sun Apr 07, 2013 7:05 pm
"Lex, before you go." She hesitated, both smaller hands still wrapped around his one larger one. Actually, she didn't want him to go at all, but a brief revelation assumed her- Lex had taken time to come see her. So she had to respect that her time was up.
Seeing as the man was far taller than her, there was no way to reasonably fulfill her request. She could stand on her toes all she wanted- she still wasn't going to reach his height. Instead she'd have to bring him down to her own, level, via a tug on his iconic green scarf. It might have seemed odd to kiss him only moments after discussing deep, traumatizing issues, but it made more sense to her than anything else. Lex was just about the only thing that made sense anymore
"Don't make me regret it," she whispered before letting go of his scarf. "You're the only one on this island I care about too much to lose. And ... don't tell anyone. I can't lose my mysterious air, can I?"
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