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 Posted: Fri Mar 08, 2013 2:27 pm
One night, a buddy of mine were drunk and thought it would be funny to watch a hot lesbian porn together and make silly comments. One thing led to another and, long story short, me and my best bro have been dating for the last year and a half now. Shocker, I know. It's still kinda surreal to me. There wasn't any indication of us being gay growing up. We didn't even find each other remotely attractive until that night. I still, besides him, don't find guys attractive. And according to him, he's totally the same. Our relationship aside, he and I are two of the straightest guys I know, in fact we met after we both dated the same girl (they broke up, then she started dating me). I used to be so homophobic, I wouldn't even let guys bump shoulders with me in the hall. I don't regret dating my best bro though. I get less drama than with a chick, or with the more sparkly-effeminate homosexuals, our fights are usually over in like 5 seconds (2 seconds if the Xbox is on), and sometimes we barely have to say a word to each other to completely get what the other is thinking. Being so understood inside and out by another person is awesome, to say the least. The Problem Since we both have the mentality of macho high school jocks, we get awkward around each other all the time. We can't bring ourselves to call each other 'boyfriends', we can barely hold hands, and we have never been on a 'date' more than we've been on a 'yo-wanna-grab-something-to-eat?' Valentine's Day was possibly the most awkward day of my life. We just started using the word 'dating' like 3 months ago. I want us to be, you know, closer without being so damn uncomfortable in the face of romance. But we're just so new at this and it's obvious at this point that I can't pretend like I'm dating a girl or like we're just two buds hanging out again, because, to be honest, I'd like to think we're more than that.
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Posted: Fri Mar 08, 2013 2:31 pm
focus on the friendship, the 'bromance' will go from there
time will ease the awkwardness~
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Posted: Fri Mar 08, 2013 2:38 pm
So, you are homosexual? confused
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Posted: Fri Mar 08, 2013 3:01 pm
Kitalpha Hart focus on the friendship, the 'bromance' will go from there time will ease the awkwardness~ Thanks. I'll try. I just don't want us to slip back into friends. I don't want this to just turn out to be "a phase". Plus the "friendship" thing can sometimes gets really weird when we're...you know...... intimate...... I really hope so. It worries me that even after a year, almost two, we're still not that far into our relationship.
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Posted: Fri Mar 08, 2013 3:14 pm
Servant Reborn So, you are homosexual? confused Well, technically no. sweatdrop It's a little more complicated than that. I'm more bisexual, but I've only ever been attracted to one guy my entire life, otherwise I find guys gross. When I look up porn, it's only either straight or lesbian porn.
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Posted: Fri Mar 08, 2013 3:21 pm
Well, you guys might be Bi, judging by your reaction to this. You can't always really tell through outward appearance when someone is gay, though. So it makes sense you wouldn't really know. Being girly and feminine is often a stereotype for homosexual guys.
It's always awkward for any guy who grew up believing they were straight. You need to focus on your bond, first and foremost. Do you know if he finds anything romantic? Doing that mixed with stuff you consider a little less awkward helps to start things. Almost all guys, whether they are straight or whatever, do have some sort of romantic thing they like. Start things slow and ease into it. Your circumstances aren't that odd. I've been through this myself. It's like your first crush all over again.
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Posted: Fri Mar 08, 2013 3:27 pm
I'm not sure how bisexuals work, but I would imagine that a person is homosexual if that person is attracted to people of the same sex. In this case, it happens to be one friend, but one whom you wish to be more than friends. Technically, you are more than friends if you are kissing and doing that stuff. I don't make out with my friends and call them friends.
Anyway, I hope you find the hapiness you seek. It's odd to me, but I'm a heterosexual Christian. So, yeah.
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Posted: Fri Mar 08, 2013 3:34 pm
Noire Samhain Well, you guys might be Bi, judging by your reaction to this. You can't always really tell through outward appearance when someone is gay, though. So it makes sense you wouldn't really know. Being girly and feminine is often a stereotype for homosexual guys. It's always awkward for any guy who grew up believing they were straight. You need to focus on your bond, first and foremost. Do you know if he finds anything romantic? Doing that mixed with stuff you consider a little less awkward helps to start things. Almost all guys, whether they are straight or whatever, do have some sort of romantic thing they like. Start things slow and ease into it. Your circumstances aren't that odd. I've been through this myself. It's like your first crush all over again. I bet I could find something he likes and find a way to throw Grand Theft Auto into it. Thanks alot. It's a relief to know I ain't the only one figuring this stuff out sweatdrop . It really is like a first crush. Good way to put it.
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Posted: Fri Mar 08, 2013 3:38 pm
Servant Reborn I'm not sure how bisexuals work, but I would imagine that a person is homosexual if that person is attracted to people of the same sex. In this case, it happens to be one friend, but one whom you wish to be more than friends. Technically, you are more than friends if you are kissing and doing that stuff. I don't make out with my friends and call them friends. Anyway, I hope you find the hapiness you seek. It's odd to me, but I'm a heterosexual Christian. So, yeah. Bisexuals are people who like both men and women. Homosexuals are attracted to men and only men. Thanks ^_^. Don't worry, you're not the only one to find this odd. I get that alot. xd
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Posted: Fri Mar 08, 2013 5:52 pm
This sounds like it could be a movie.. sweatdrop Anyway best of luck to the both of you. hope you figure things out yum_puddi
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Posted: Fri Mar 08, 2013 7:56 pm
Wow. I am willing to bet your situation is pretty uncommon. I mean, it's not all that uncommon for guys to fool around with each other, but for two predominantly hetero guys to not only hook up, but want to continue to be together as a couple afterwards... That's pretty cool, though. You're like a... Kinsey 0.5, or something. x3 I could see this sort of thing happening more often than it does (especially as things change for the better), but currently there's still the problem of stigma; in many places, homophobia's a huge problem, so identifying as anything other than straight can attract a lot of harassment and general unpleasantness. xp Out of curiosity, and maybe this is a dumb question, but have you brought up any of this with your partner? Also, are the two of you open about your relationship at all? You mentioned that you used to be homophobic; what about your guy? I only ask because being closeted and/or having some residual self-loathing over sexuality could certainly contribute to the difficulty level involved. razz Anyway, maybe a good place to start would be with something small, some romantic gesture that you'd like to try with him, but haven't. For example, you mentioned that you don't really hold hands. A movie night for the two of you could be a good opportunity to do more of that, since you could focus on the movie rather than the awkwardness or hesitation. You might have to take the lead, here. Think about little gestures or things you'd like to see from him, and with that in mind, do them for him. You two might not all like the same things, but it'll show him what sort of things you're comfortable saying or doing, and will hopefully serve as an example of ways in which he can reciprocate. As a side note, people in general receive a lot of social conditioning to act and behave in certain ways. For us males, expressing emotion is seen as being feminine or weak. One of the results of that, I think, is that a lot of guys seem to be more comfortable with the idea of sex than they are with other kinds of affection, be it verbal or physical. It's not necessarily that they don't want it, but they aren't really confident about how to express it.
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Posted: Fri Mar 08, 2013 8:55 pm
Like someone said earlier the romantic stuff will come afterwards. I think what you guys are doing is adorable.
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Posted: Fri Mar 08, 2013 9:00 pm
Taeryyn 1. I mean, it's not all that uncommon for guys to fool around with each other, but for two predominantly hetero guys to not only hook up, but want to continue to be together as a couple afterwards... 2. That's pretty cool, though. You're like a... Kinsey 0.5, or something. x3 3. I could see this sort of thing happening more often than it does (especially as things change for the better), but currently there's still the problem of stigma; in many places, homophobia's a huge problem, so identifying as anything other than straight can attract a lot of harassment and general unpleasantness. xp 4. Out of curiosity, and maybe this is a dumb question, but have you brought up any of this with your partner? 5. Also, are the two of you open about your relationship at all? You mentioned that you used to be homophobic; what about your guy? I only ask because being closeted and/or having some residual self-loathing over sexuality could certainly contribute to the difficulty level involved. razz 6. Anyway, maybe a good place to start would be with something small, some romantic gesture that you'd like to try with him, but haven't. For example, you mentioned that you don't really hold hands. A movie night for the two of you could be a good opportunity to do more of that, since you could focus on the movie rather than the awkwardness or hesitation. 7. You might have to take the lead, here. Think about little gestures or things you'd like to see from him, and with that in mind, do them for him. You two might not all like the same things, but it'll show him what sort of things you're comfortable saying or doing, and will hopefully serve as an example of ways in which he can reciprocate. 8. As a side note, people in general receive a lot of social conditioning to act and behave in certain ways. For us males, expressing emotion is seen as being feminine or weak. One of the results of that, I think, is that a lot of guys seem to be more comfortable with the idea of sex than they are with other kinds of affection, be it verbal or physical. It's not necessarily that they don't want it, but they aren't really confident about how to express it. There was a lot to address. I found this post incredibly helpful, thank you soooo much! 1. sweatdrop Thanks, that's kind of you to notice. We thought it felt pretty weird/special too. 2. xd Ha! (And yeah, I totally had to wiki that.) 3. It was kinda easier because we weren't in high school anymore, where hell fire of harassment seems to spawn from. 4. (._.) Huh...now that I think about it, actually, no, I have not. sweatdrop It just feels so mushy and embarrassing to bring it up, I wouldn't know where to start redface and I know he's tried bringing it up too before backing out like I do. 5. I'm not 100% sure on that. I know he wasn't as disgusted by man-skin-touching as I was, but he wasn't exactly rubbing up against them either. He was a ******** type of ladies-man back in high school (like a different girl almost every week). And now, he's... redface how do I put this... sweatdrop catching instead of pitching? So I think you might be on to something there. We haven't really talked about how he's been taking all this, so I should probably see to that first. 6. ....That might help (._.). Actually, that sounds brilliant eek ! 7. You're like a gay-to-straight-relationship fountain of ever flowing wisdom and insight! 8. I feel like you're reading my mind. That's exactly how I feel.
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Posted: Fri Mar 08, 2013 9:01 pm
HimeOsamaO This sounds like it could be a movie.. sweatdrop Anyway best of luck to the both of you. hope you figure things out yum_puddi I get that alot xd . Thanks for the support. heart
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Posted: Fri Mar 08, 2013 9:02 pm
Dude*puts hand on shoulder*
I actually am in the same situation but going on 2 years with my girlfriend
Heres the thing
I too use to be homophobic
Met my winderful gf and became attracted to her and didnt know why, i mean, i was straight
Or so i thought
After my last bf who almost raped me. Me ans my gf started to date. Basically f** buddies
Then i started to love her and she loved me
Now we have been together for teo years on march 21 and im so glad it happened
Im also bisexual, best of both worlds!
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