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"Hey, Walpurgis!" Walpurgis turned to the source of the voice. "Oh, what's up, Jeremiah?"
Jeremiah smiled sheepishly. "Oh, uh, me and some of the guys were wondering if you wanted to play a quick video game. You see, it's an eight player game, but out eighth member can't make it because he got assigned a mission. So we need a replacement. Could you help us out?"
Walpurgis shrugged. "Sure, why not?"
Jeremiah smiled even wider. "Great! Let's go!"
A few minutes later, Jeremiah and Walpurgis walked into the room, dark except for the illumination coming from the television. Six heads turned to greet them as they entered, and Walpurgis nodded to them in turn. Jeremiah handed him a controller. "Alright, we're playing Super Pokemon Brothers. Now, just so you know, in this group, the loser has to play a penalty game, so be sure to keep up." Before Walpurgis could respond, Jeremiah began the game. "Alright, guys, get Walpurgis!"
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He had been horribly defeated in the 7 on 1 beat down and forced to enter the next contest. I have horrible friends. Hearing his number called, he looked down to Marisa. "Let's go, then."
Stepping out from behind the curtain Walpurgis walked up to the platform, Marisa at his side. Without any enthusiasm, he began to speak. "Hello. My name is Melris Malagan. Because my friends are dicks, I'm going to be doing a comedy act for you." Walpurgis sighed, gesturing to Marisa. "This is Marisa. As you can see, she's a sandshrew. Not sure if that matters." He shrugged, and there was scattered laughter from the audience. "Probably not. Anyway, here's hoping you all have a bad sense of humor." Slightly more laughs.
Marisa began walking around Walpurgis, firing a star into the air each time she made a full revolution. The audience laughed nervously, not sure what to expect. "Oh, don't worry about the pity laughs, we haven't started yet. That's just Marisa being an a**." The crowd laughed heartily at the combined self deprecation and assurance.
The stars began to fall downward, and a sparkling barrier formed above them, swirling clockwise. The stars landed in the barrier, floating along like leaves in a river. The audience marveled at the scene in silent wonder. "You all can start the pity laughter now, this is the act." Caught off-guard, the crowd began to laugh again.
Walpurgis opened his mouth to speak, and Marisa jumped up, grabbing the microphone from his hands. She breathed a mock sigh of relief, and the audience roared with laughter. Walpurgis turned to the crowd with feigned affront, causing them to laugh even harder. He walked towards the sandshrew, reaching for the microphone. Marisa backed up a couple feet before chucking the microphone at Walpurgis. A loud thunk resounded throughout the lake as the microphone collided with his head and he fell over, the microphone clattering to the ground. The audience went silent.
The silence reigned for a few seconds, and nobody moved. Finally, a fain snicker was heard in the back, spreading like wildfire throughout the audience before mutating into a cacophony of amusement. Walpurgis got to his feet, a trail of blood dripping from his forehead. He picked up the microphone, simultaneously thanking and apologizing the crowd. With a bow, he and Marisa walked back to the back, the chorus of merriment seeing them out.
