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Tags: homestuck, troll, breedables, mspa, alternia 

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Milieu Aojiro - Teal Blood - [ACCEPTED]

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Magician Arcana

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PostPosted: Tue Feb 26, 2013 6:28 pm


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Name: Milieu Aojiro

Milieu - French for Middle
Aojiro - Aojiroi is Japanese for Ashen

Blood colour: #39a292 - Teal

Gender: Female

Symbol: A club

Personality:
Mili is quiet, by default of her birth defect. Being mute has led her to a life of isolated, often times bitter thoughts. It has also made her very intelligent. She is quick to understand and more perceptive to body language.

Her interactions with others are usually one sided, with the speaking party doing most of the, well, conversing. Mili can write Alternian and read well. She usually carries with her either a book and pen, or a white board and marker so she can convey messages. Though, often times a few of her animated looks will get the point across well enough! Because most of her conversing is through writing, her friends tend to be older or at least able to read Alternian. That is not to say she does not offer advice to younger trolls who might not read yet, but it is rather rare when it occurs.

Having older friends is nice, but she longs for someone her age to befriend her. Past attempts to be friends have included giving out drawings or little handmade gifts, but those did not do so well. You can attract more flies with honey than vinegar, after all. The few friends she garnered through 'gifts' left when those dried up. Mili decided older friends were for her.

Listening and being a matchmaker is a coping system and a defense mechanism. It allows her to feel wanted as well as ensures she is safe. No troll can deny her needed existence, as the ashen quadrant is least understood. From a young age Mili was lead to believe it was be the middle man or be lonely. Or worse yet, die. Her disability is not life endangering, but it could be precarious when she was older. Owl Mom showed that it would be best if she took on the responsibilities of that quadrant now and gained valuable understandings and experience before it became a more dire matter.

Mili understands the caste system thanks to extended reading, but doesn't understand it's overall purpose. It feels archaic and useless to her. She is one to quickly match trolls on the opposite end of the hemospectrum, and more likely to try and avoid giving advice to an outspoken supporter. Any respect shown for upper caste members is mostly derived from the fact that they are prone to violence. She would rather escape than fight.

When not trying to juggle romances or avoid battles, Mili finds herself snuggled in Owl Mom's downy feathers with a good book, or writing a story. She also has a fondness for drawing and doodling, though despite the adage "practice makes perfect", she is far from... Very good. Mediocre at best. She also likes to try and do things she has read. Such attempts include cooking, fletching arrows, dance, and tumbling.

If you were to ask one of her friends how they would describe Mili, you might hear patient or kind. If you asked Mili, she may scrawl out she's lonely or bitter. Normally she can keep those emotions in check, but at times it's too much to handle and she'll lock herself in the hive, bundled in feathers.

It is good to note that while she is normally quiet, unassuming, and generally-non troll like (to an observer), she still has her moments where bursts or aggression leads to violence and rebellious thoughts pop out. Mili has many repressed desires, possibly from her lack of communication to others and her lusus being a bit abnormal to troll standards.

Strengths:
Good Listener: Mili is very, very good at listening and offering advice. Trolls know that she is always up for a good feelings jam. She is always available for a chat and devotes her whole attention to helping trolls through their issues. Listening began as a coping mechanism, and largely is one still, but there are times when offering advice and listening is enjoyable.

Speaking less (or at all) and listening more has made her ears extremely sharp. She's able to detect trolls who might attempt to sneak up on her, and mumbled confessions during feeling jams never escape her. Her fighting style is one primarily of flight, not fight, and her listening has helped tremendously in this aspect.
Intelligent Listening more than speaking, reading and writing from an early age, and interacting with trolls in complex manners has made Mili quite the intelligent young troll. She is mostly book smarts, given her voracious appetite to books, and her lack of experiences on the street. She has some street smarts, mostly inferred from conversations with others, but not nearly enough to be considered and 'intelligence'.
Intuitive Body language and words said (and not said) tell this troll quite a bit! Hiding things from Mili is pretty tough. She picks up on hidden meanings easily. Often times she can tell when to avoid topics or even avoid certain streets when walking. This strength is good when a Troll has a hard time explaining themselves or their issues.
Flaws:
Self-depreciating Being different isn't so grand. She has a hard time understanding her own assets and what she could bring to a relationship. Any advice given is riddled with self doubt (though it is often not spoken). Any sort of romantic/blackrom approach would be shooed away.
Needy Mili despises being alone or having to deal with loneliness. Most of her time is spent with others or in the company of others. Even when in the company of others, she can often feel lonely for her lack of ability. She cannot speak her opinions, and some friends are not willing to wait and read what she scrawls down. Owl Mom is very self-sufficient and expects nothing less of Mili. This expectation and Mili's needs have been a severe issue in their relationship.
Bitter A world made for those who can converse freely produced a girl with a lot of thoughts and limited modes to express them. She is quiet by default and it angers her. Why do other trolls, less intelligent and prone to spewing out utter nonsense get to speak when she has to remain silent? The ashen quadrant was also forced on her, more or less, so she still has some bitter feelings towards her quadrant and life. Mili is prone to shutting down when things get too stressful, refusing to help her friends, and sabotaging those that have offended her the most. 'Offense' in terms of Mili usually means something along the lines of: Making fun of her lack of speech, making fun of her quadrant, making fun of her lusus, deep respect/adherence to the caste system, and purposely talking on when Mili tries to get them to stop.

Weapon: Dagger Kind
Owl Mom found a book of weaponry and allowed Mili to select a weapon she desired to use. Laser guns were going to be difficult to find, so Mili settled on the next best: Daggers. They allowed her to have both ranged and close up fighting. She can throw them or easily defend herself up close. There is also the irony of stabbing someone in the back, which she could feasibly do with how close she tends to be with other trolls.

Appearance: The cute V-day troll!

Home: New Hemisect City
She lives in a rather bland, generic hive. There's little to no flair, other than a very large, jutting beam from the second story that hangs over a balcony. Think of a bird's perch, and you'll have the right idea for its look and its primary use. Mili, unable to get across to the droids any whims she desires, received the most generic build. It displeased her for some time, but eventually she grew happy with the conformity. Seeing as little else in her life is 'typical', it's not bad having something so unoriginal.

The bottom is where the feeling jams and conversations take place. She has a few large book shelves filled with books that have either been found, bought, or 'relieved' from their owner by Owl Mom.

Lusus:
Owl-Mom: Large, Fluffy, Observant. She is medium sized, just two or three heads taller than Mili at child stage. Owl mom is also about as wide as she is tall, thanks to her fluff.

Mili frequently uses the feathers for bedding or at the various, very poorly attempted, tries at fletching arrows (just for fun and decoration). Mili has and uses her recuperacoon, but often times crashes into a pile of fluffy feathers when reading, drawing, or writing. Feeling Jams are also conducted on a large pile of the feathers.

Owl Mom is observant, but also rather aloof. She expects Mili to be similar. Quiet, unassuming, but always alert of her surroundings when out in the city. Mili had little choice in being the ashen quadrant. It was a choice Owl Mom felt was the best given the girl's circumstances, and refused to pay attention to any protests Mili made. Mili is unable to make a fuss when hungry or craving attention, so often times Owl Mom assumes she is content.

Around others Owl mom silent and quick much like she has taught Mili to be. Her body is not strongest or most armored, so fighting is perilous. It is better for her to slip from place to place and not risk causing a ruckus. This attitude has led to Mili to lean more towards flight than fight.
PostPosted: Fri Mar 08, 2013 11:02 pm


It's a Sypon crit!

I'd like to start off by saying that I really like the way you're handling Milieu's disability; you've got a solid character concept here. My biggest comment that I'm going to make about this application is that, in general, I would like more elaboration. Everything is said very succinctly, but sometimes it feels like we need more background. Don't add unnecessary fluff, but push and flesh out her character more in your application so that we really get a solid grasp on her as a character, instead of a basic concept! I'll try to point out some spots as I go along.

Personality:

What is the balance between Mili's quiet and unassuming nature and her rebellious, busy-body nature? Is she outgoing around other trolls, vying for them to listen to her, more like a nosy gossip, or does she sneak into their lives so that she can give them advice? You had some great information in your initial entry for the contest that would be nice to include in this section, and would assuage most of this issue. Basically, I don't get a good read on how she interacts with trolls unless they're sharing their secrets and confiding in her.

You mention that she reads and writes well; does she do this out of necessity or pleasure? What does she do when she isn't giving advice?

"Some may consider Mili a busy-body, how she willingly listens to the woes of the messy love system" -- I'm not sure how some may consider her a busy-body if she's a great listener to people's problems, unless she's just that nosy that people don't really want to confide in her. Nosiness is one of her flaws, so either revisit that or elaborate! I enjoy the bit after it as a coping mechanism, however. Great thought, that.

In the first sentence you mention her "rebellious thoughts", but say she's rather neutral about the Hemospectrum. I immediately assumed her rebellious thoughts were concerning the caste system, so you'll need to define exactly why she's a rebel (even just in her head!). Also, why doesn't she rally against it, exactly?

Strengths and Flaws: This part needs some elaboration! Focus on how Mili's strengths and flaws affect her in daily/nightly. As well, expanding on how these traits affect her by adding more description will give insight into more facets of how others react to her, and her motivations.

Intelligent and Quick Learner are really similar. I'd combine them, unless you can find a really significant difference to expand on.

Blunt: We know she's good with advice, and being honest isn't exactly a hindrance in most cases unless she can't stop herself from snark or is tactless when it comes to revealing others' flaws. Think about how this could get her into trouble or be a recurring problem for her and adjust accordingly. Additionally, does she do this outside of giving advice?

Nosy: As I've said before, I don't quite understand if she's actively seeking and pressuring others to come get help from her, and this seems to say so. Is she pushy and incessant to the point of annoyance? If she's nosy enough for it to be a flaw, why do trolls come to her in the first place? I think I'm just a little muddy on this point, and need to know more in detail.

Judgmental: Does she "voice" her opinions? How does this affect her interactions with other trolls? How does this potentially make others dislike her?

Sadist: This came out of left field! I would argue that this isn't a flaw, unless she actively tries to sabotage others... Which would then need to be explained further in sections where you talk about her giving advice. However, if she doesn't sabotage others or if it's a secret to other trolls so much that they don't notice, it's not a very compelling flaw. If anything I'd add it to her personality and elaborate, because this is the only time you've brought it up and it's a rather compelling trait. Something else to consider is how this flaw applies to situations that aren't her giving advice to others. Does she enjoy seeing people suffer in other situations or go out of her way to do so? In general, look at her traits and check to see that they apply to situations outside of her advice-giving duties. smile


Weapon:
Considering you bother to mention that Owl-Mom gave Mili this knife pen (and that it's an unorthodox weapon), I'd like to know just a little more about it. I figured I'd bring it up because it seems important and I don't know why! This is a little thing, so don't stress about it. wink

Home: Where in New Hemisect? If anything, the location or state that her hive is in is important for roleplaying with others. If it's a generic, mass-produced hive, put that! A troll's living space tells a lot about their situation in life and personality, so don't neglect it c:

Lusus: What does she look like? How does she act around her charge? Around others? In general? How has she affected her charge's personality? What's the relationship between Mili and Owl-Mom? We need more information here in general.

Sypon
Vice Captain


Magician Arcana

Eco-friendly Shapeshifter

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PostPosted: Sat Mar 09, 2013 6:16 pm


Sypon


Thank you Spyon! I feel bad, I know she was very uh.. Sparse. XD Thank you for the crit. This is going to help majorly. I'll start the rewrite now and post again when I have her more tweaked.

(Also I think Sadist will be dropped. 6_9 looking at that now I'm not sure what I was thinking?? )
PostPosted: Sun Mar 24, 2013 1:17 pm


Hey, Magi! I like seeing the changes you've made since I glanced at your quest before Sypon's crit. Mili's personality has really come together especially, and I can't help but feel for her, she should be an interesting character to see grow, that's for sure! There are still a few things that I think could be expanded on, though, concerning her strengths.

While we can infer how these traits can be used and are useful in nightly life, you don't offer a lot of your own interpretation about them. I'd like to see more about how they affect her thoughts/feelings/motivations/actions and how it can affect other characters.

good listener - She's good at listening and giving advice, but does she only do it as a coping mechanism? Are there any times in which she actually enjoys this? Also, what are some situations in which being a good listener is a helpful trait? Are there situations outside of meeting up with friends and offering advice?

intelligent - Book smarts, street smarts, both? What kind of situations could these smarts be especially useful in/where does she often display this trait?

intuitive - How does she use this ability? Does it help her give advice when other trolls aren't always good at being direct with her? Are there other situations in which this trait is useful?

By looking at my feedback you'll see that it's largely the same overall. Strengths are usually overarching traits that are useful in a troll's life in many different situations. If you could give us more insight into how she uses these traits in her night to night life, that would be great!

saedusk
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Magician Arcana

Eco-friendly Shapeshifter

21,915 Points
  • Hiss of Love 200
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PostPosted: Sun Mar 24, 2013 2:19 pm


saedusk
Hey, Magi! I like seeing the changes you've made since I glanced at your quest before Sypon's crit. Mili's personality has really come together especially, and I can't help but feel for her, she should be an interesting character to see grow, that's for sure! There are still a few things that I think could be expanded on, though, concerning her strengths.

While we can infer how these traits can be used and are useful in nightly life, you don't offer a lot of your own interpretation about them. I'd like to see more about how they affect her thoughts/feelings/motivations/actions and how it can affect other characters.

good listener - She's good at listening and giving advice, but does she only do it as a coping mechanism? Are there any times in which she actually enjoys this? Also, what are some situations in which being a good listener is a helpful trait? Are there situations outside of meeting up with friends and offering advice?

intelligent - Book smarts, street smarts, both? What kind of situations could these smarts be especially useful in/where does she often display this trait?

intuitive - How does she use this ability? Does it help her give advice when other trolls aren't always good at being direct with her? Are there other situations in which this trait is useful?

By looking at my feedback you'll see that it's largely the same overall. Strengths are usually overarching traits that are useful in a troll's life in many different situations. If you could give us more insight into how she uses these traits in her night to night life, that would be great!


Thank you, Sae! You have a lot of good points. @u@ I did forget to elaborate on those before. <3

*scuttles to fix about*
PostPosted: Sun Mar 24, 2013 2:41 pm


Okay, worked on it more! edit
Bc no, still not good enough.

Magician Arcana

Eco-friendly Shapeshifter

21,915 Points
  • Hiss of Love 200
  • Cat Fancier 100
  • Waffles! 25

Sypon
Vice Captain

PostPosted: Sun Mar 31, 2013 11:17 am


Some one -> someone

It’s -> its (its overall purpose)

Cast -> caste

Considered and intelligence -> an

Recooprecoon – Recuperacoon (had to look that one up. I think I’ve been spelling it wrong all along!)


There are only a couple of personality things I’m noticing.

When you describe Mili as non troll-like in the bottom paragraph of her personality section, do you refer to her outwards appearance? I would say the previous paragraph concerning what others see and what she truly believes is spot on in describing a troll that appears not to be troll-like, but is very much in reality. Basically: does she not act like a troll beyond what others perceive her to be, or is that all just the outsider view of her?

How does her bitter trait affect her negatively? It can definitely be a flaw if she’s shuts down, refuses help, sabotages others, etc, but at the moment it seems like something that she deals with alone. Consider how can other trolls readily see her bitterness.

Also: love attempts at fletching with Owl Mom’s feathers! What does she use the arrows for? Just decoration? She’s got a dagger so I’m not sure what she does with them :9

You have made awesome changes! Mili’s really really close. I really saw those three things only; get her in again soon applying the crit and I think you'll be good to go!
PostPosted: Sun Mar 31, 2013 12:52 pm


Sypon


Thank you Sy! I changed the spelling/grammar errors, and elaborated more on the negative effects. As for the fletching, just decoration. c: in teen stage she might sell them for a few beetles.

Magician Arcana

Eco-friendly Shapeshifter

21,915 Points
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  • Waffles! 25

amicableAggressor
Vice Captain

Versatile Vermin

PostPosted: Sun Mar 31, 2013 1:19 pm


one word of warning, be sure to not overplay intuitive to the point where she's pretty much being a mind reader, as that falls under god-modding powers. while i don't think you will, it is a possibility that you'll want to take into account. then again, if your rping with someone who wants you to have her pick up on hidden thoughts and feelings, there's no problem with her doing it then. 3nodding

also! reading her weapon, honestly if you want her to have a laser gun, give it to her. troll combat is allowed to be silly and over the top cartoony, so don't feel like you need to give her a realistic weapon.

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