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[Q] Dominic Styles // Ashur Page of Uranus [crits?]

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itspao_


Witty Punching Bag

PostPosted: Mon Feb 25, 2013 9:30 pm


Last Updated: 03.17.13 -- tweaked knightliness s'more~ o:
[student] - [knight]


Name: Dominic Josiah Styles, Jr.
Nickname: Dom, DJ, Junior, and Jojo for those select few who wanna push his buttons
Age: 18
Birthday: January 20
Sign: Capricorn // Aquarius (cusp)
Gemstone: Garnet
Blood Type: O+
Fav. Food: Lollipops, most any pizza (w/ lots of cheese and sauce), lasagna, chewy candies
Hated Food: Ginger and ginger-flavored foods, slimy vegetables, liver
School: Hillworth Grammar School

Hobbies:

Puzzles - He loves puzzles of just about any kind. Ever since he was younger he's always had a knack for it, and just being able to put something together always gave him a simple kind of contentment and joy. Be it jigsaw puzzles, word puzzles, picture puzzles, logic puzzles, sliding puzzles, or just about anything with the word "puzzles" in or at the end it, you name and he's probably tried it. His all-time favorite, though, is the original Rubik's Cube, and he always has one on his person (usually in the form of small-but-useable keychain). One of his most treasured possessions is his very first Cube, though the colors are almost completely faded and it's quite literally ready to fall apart. It's retired and has since been safely put away and replaced, but whenever he's bored he'll pull his latest Cube out, mess it up and put it back together again.

Tinkering - Something like an extension of his love for puzzles, at some point in his pre-teen years he picked up tinkering. He enjoys taking things apart and putting them back together, then taking them apart again. For the most part he'll only take apart old gadgets and things from past generations to farm parts for his projects, but sometimes, if he's really curious, he'll take apart something more recent (like an older model flat-screen TV, for instance). He'll try to upgrade his own stuff too, though more often than not without much success, so it wouldn't be unusual to find, say, an alarm clock with an extra doodad attached to it that makes it more (or less) useful in some way or another. Any scrap leftover from his projects is usually sold for a bit of extra cash.

Cooking - The way he sees it, cooking is just another puzzle that you've got to put together. Unfortunately for everyone, including himself (because he would never not eat something he made since he's responsible for its creation), almost everything he cooks just comes out...bad. It could be his approach, his style, his tendency to make unnecessary alterations to the recipe, but the end-result of him cooking is just this incredibly presentable, but surprisingly inedible dish that one would be very discouraged to even taste, let alone take a whole bite. He knows he's not very good, but he still finds a good level of enjoyment with the art. DJ feels he could improve if given more opportunity to practice, though his friends would all disagree. He can, however, bake a mean chocolate chip cookie. Hey, at least it's something, right?

Coins - Usually the old kind, but just about any interesting coin will do. He found a small coin collection while he was going through the attic, scrounging for his latest "project" and came upon it by chance. Unfortunately they weren't worth much, so he's just been adding onto it for most of his life. Occasionally he'll have the urge to go through old antique shops or garage sales for something to add to his collection, but usually he'll happen upon a new coin by chance or someone gives him a new one. As a lucky charm of sorts he likes to keep one coin from this collection with him at all times. When he's just standing or waiting around and he's got nothing else to do, he'll sometimes start fiddling with whatever coin he's got to keep his hands busy.

Virtues:

Helpful (?) - DJ is the guy who's more than happy to help someone (especially a close acquaintance or classmate) in need. Are you new to the school? He'll give you the tour! Need help fixing up that project? He'll volunteer (especially if it involves building or putting something together)! Need to copy his homework? Well...he's got a set of morals he follows, but he's more than willing to tutor you! Is he not the man for the job? Well he'll probably help you find the guy (or girl) who is! He's not afraid to put himself out there and reach out to other people, be the shoulder to cry on, the guy to celebrate with, and just about anything in between. If it's something he can help with, he's almost always among the first to volunteer.

Gung-Ho - DJ's the guy that gets excited at the start of just about anything, and he'll put 150% into whatever new thing he's got on his mind. It's easy to get this guy to jump on board any new project or idea, if only for the novelty of starting a new project or developing a new idea. He'll put almost all of his time, effort, and focus into it, and for as long as his attention is on that one new thing, you can be sure you'll get his best work. When the next new thing comes though, good luck trying to get him back. Generally speaking, if he likes just about any idea he'll be all for it; it doesn't necessarily have to pertain to his various projects. As long as it's something novel or just plain interesting (and it's not illegal or guaranteed fatal) then it's almost certain that DJ's gonna jump on that wagon.

Orderly - He's a neat and tidy sort of guy, whatever anyone else may say about his appearance. Everything has a place and, while he's not necessarily obsessive-compulsive, he works hard to make sure things stay in their designated spots. He'll take the time to make sure his room is spick and span, usually two or three times a week. This actually also applies when he's asked to clean up somewhere else, and he'll probably also take it to the next level. Not only would the space be near-spotless, but everything would probably be organized by function, size, shape, and alphabetically by brand -- even the cleaning utensils. He'll even volunteer to clean up the gym or a teacher's office if he's really out of things to do or looking for a distraction, and it's a really good way for him to clear his head besides immersing himself in a book.

Game - If you're looking for someone to try something - almost anything - new with, DJ's your man! It doesn't take a lot to convince him to try something as long as it's new. The way he sees it, life isn't worth living if you're stuck with the same complacent, boring, day-to-day business, which is why he tries to keep his life, and the lives of those around him, fresh and exciting every day. Not to say that it always works, but it's never hurt (much!) to keep trying thus far. It doesn't necessarily have to be something that gets your adrenaline pumping; it could be as simple as trying to eat an experimental sandwich. As long as he death isn't a certainty (like snorting live fire ants), he'll probably give it a try at least once.

Flaws:

Guarded - While he's ready and willing to jump out and be the one to help someone out, he's not quite so easily trusting of other people. He keeps his feelings and emotions mostly (if not completely) to himself, and he doesn't really trust other people with anything personal. He keeps everyone at a safe, friendly distance, and when someone tries to pop his little bubble of safety, he'll just simply back up and ignore the concerned party's looks and questions. He'll avoid getting too close to anyone if he can; if he can't, he'll still consider them a friend (or at least a close acquaintance) and will help from a safer distance. This usually means via the internet or through mutual friends. If someone pushes too hard though, he won't react violently, but rather will just start avoiding them altogether.

Non-committal - Though he's quick to jump onto the next new project, that doesn't necessarily mean that he'll see it through to the end. That is, he's great at starting but not so great at finishing. His main issue isn't so much that he's quick to lose interest, though that does also happen, but his attention is just quick to go on to the next new thing, and when that happens everything else just gets shoved out of the way. This affects just about every area of his life - half-done homework, unfinished meals, a half-clean room, etc. Most often it happens when he's faced with a task he just doesn't want to do (i.e. homework), or he's been working on it for a long time and is starting to get bored with it (i.e. a project). If he's given something relatively short-term and he's genuinely interested though, chances are he'll eventually get it done.

Curious - Most everyone that knows him knows that he asks a lot of questions. Way too many questions probably, and it oftentimes annoys the crap out of the people he's asking. He's persistent and unrelenting with his questions until his curiosity is satiated, and he'll poke and prod and probe you with any and all inquiries pertaining to the subject of his focus. He's the guy that pisses off his teachers in class when they can't continue with their lecture because he keeps going back to and expounding on a previous question that he asked not two minutes earlier. The most popular answer for anyone (especially those who know him well enough) is, "I don't know." It won't always work right away, especially if he knows you would know the answer, but for the most part it pacifies him and he moves on to looking up information on his own.

** It should be noted, though, that sometimes he finds amusement in repeatedly asking someone, who's obviously losing their patience with him, "Why?" Emphasis on sometimes, if only because most of the time he's genuinely asking questions because he just really wants to know.

Distractible - It's probably something like a side-effect of his interest in all things new, but he's incredibly easy to distract. If he's busy with a long-term project or a homework assignment, just pop by with an odd idea or a dare and he'll drop what he's doing to accommodate you. He has something like a radar for "all things (he finds) interesting," and if he sees something that piques his interest he'll follow and/or observe it, whether he's with a group or not. He might also jump from one topic during a conversation to another without regard for what other people are saying if his level of interest just suddenly drops or he sees something that he finds curious. He'll just insert a comment and the topic may suddenly go from how awesome peach cobbler is to why Mr. So-and-So's bald spot is square-shaped as opposed to circular.


PHYSICAL DESCRIPTION

Eyes: Cerulean blue, and he has those "squinty" looking eyes. Kinda like this color.

Hair: Short, black, kind of messy. He'd also have a small goatee patch kept short and neat. Kinda like this.

Face: Oval-ish, but he's relatively square-jawed, with his chin coming to a rounded sort of point. He has a clear complexion, and is a very, very slight tan (it's his natural skin color, I just don't know if there's a name for it.. >o>b).

Clothes: The Hillworth uniform, but on his own terms... if that makes sense and is allowed. Like with the sleeves folded up to his elbows, his tie missing, and his shirt not buttoned all the way up and untucked so the bottom goes past the vest a little. The pants would also be tailored to loosely fit like straight jeans rather than slacks. He'd also have a black watch on his left wrist.


----- { } -----

.
Knight Title: Ashur Page of Uranus (click;click)
Challenge: "Ready for a beat down!?"
Uniform: His Page uniform would be akin to the Jedi outfit or the Sandbenders from Avatar; basically it's just a much simpler version of this outfit.

The colors would of course follow the swatch. It'd primarily be the whites/browns, with the blues being accent colors. I'm still kinda working on which colors I want where...

Top -- Long-sleeve tunic and a vest over that. The sleeves should be tucked underneath his bracers, and tunic and the vest should go to about his mid-thigh.
Bottoms -- Loose pants, the ends of which are tucked into his boots. He'll probably look kind of like a desert ninja of some sort.
Gloves -- Simple, brown, leather bracers that go about halfway up his forearm. The uranus symbol could be pressed into it. They're the buckling sort, so something like these.
Belt -- He'd have a sash that goes around his waist, and maybe a belt of some sort hanging loosely over that.
Shoes -- Boots that go about halfway to his knee. Simple, brown, leather.
Shoulders -- No bells or whistles here.
Accessories -- Just piercings, one on each earlobe and one in the upper portion of his left ear. Kinda like these (without the dragons) and this, but for the latter maybe more dudelike... lol.

Weapon

Sticks - Two of them, each just a bit smaller than the average drum stick (say about 14" each) and made of balsa wood. It could probably give you a splinter if you're not careful.
Magic: None.

Wooden Staff - The two sticks have fused together, forming a staff about 4' tall, about 10cm in diameter and made of oak. There is a sort of design carved into the length of the staff; should have the Uranus symbol somewhere in the design.
Magic - When he spins the stick with both hands at arms' length in front of him (can be shifted up and down, but not side to side), a shield of air that is able to deflect certain attacks is formed. Though it is still relatively weak, it can block close range (i.e. most attacks making contact with the shield; a punch aimed at the side of his head, for example, would still make a hit) and deflect long ranged attacks (i.e. arrows or projectile magic). It works about 80% percent of the time, and gets progressively weaker the longer he uses it; he would not be able to block or deflect any attacks from anyone at a higher level than him. It can be used in bursts for up to a total of 30 seconds.

Metal Staff - The staff is now made of a titanium alloy, though it is hollow; it has grown is now about 5'6" tall and 15cm in diameter. There is a more intricate design emblazoned along the length of the staff; should still have the Uranus symbol somewhere on the design. A few bells and whistles can be added for flare (no functionality) at the artist's discretion.
Magic - The same air-shield can be formed with the same motion, but it is a bit stronger now. It works 90% for those at his level and below, and still gets progressively weaker the longer he uses it; it's effectiveness against those at a higher level than him is a hit and miss sort of deal, working about 50% of the time. It can be used in bursts for up to a total of 45 seconds.

Summons (for later approval)

Creature: A bad-a** Nine-Tailed Fox (akin to Ninetales, the Pokemon), about the size of a large tiger (just think big enough to be ride-able, though it'll never be ridden unless in it's an emergency). I found this pic on Google.. o-o
Ability: A barrier made of air which repels most physical attacks and some magic attacks on the weaker side (that is, only first-stage magic, and not even all the time). For example, an arrow is shot from X feet away, ONOZ! It hits the barrier and goes shooting off in another direction. No negating effects happen with magic; it simply redirects, so someone else can be hit by it (if the player wants this to happen). It's maximum radius, both vertically and horizontally, is 8 feet, however its size can vary depending on how many people would be inside it.

.
PostPosted: Mon Feb 25, 2013 9:35 pm


Parents, two younger brothers, baby sister

Physique: About 5'10" and still growing; he's about 158lbs, but his weight fluctuates by a few pounds in either direction depending on whether he's stuck to his exercising or neglected it for a week or two. He has a medium frame and is lean, but not lanky in any way. He exercises semi-regularly to keep himself in shape and healthy, usually in the form of jogging or moderately intense cardio (i.e. cycling, jump rope, etc.). His strength training, if he ever feels like doing any (which is rare), is always done without machines. That said, he definitely isn't "built" or muscular in any way, but he does have some muscle.

He's been at Hillworth for a little over 2 years (since sophomore year); transferred from his high school back in LA after he pushed his father over the edge. He was sent to his aunt and uncle in NYC, who then suggested to send him to Hillworth in Destiny City because they couldn't take him in (they're travelers, you see). His father agreed after reading up on Hillworth and the city it was situated in.

Why Hillworth?
Father is a mean, controlling meanie who is away overseas for almost 9 years of DJ's life (from ages 4-12) > mother doesn't stifle (nor encourage) his love for puzzles and things of that nature > father returns and is not happy with Junior > father begins to treat him harshly in order to make him presentable to the public (intention is for Junior to go into business, as his father initially hoped upon Junior's birth) > weight loss (very unpleasant experience) and lots of stifling of Junior's interests > Junior starts acting out > father-son relationship worsens > at 15, Junior takes apart his father's most prized wristwatch (given by closest friend, mentor, and business partner) > father is completely pissed off and sends him packing > chose Hillworth b/c he wants Junior to be malleable and hopes the school will snuff out all of the individuality and rebelliousness in his son

Why does DJ and his father not get along?
In short, DJ doesn't like someone dictating every breathing moment of every day. His father basically had his son's entire life plotted out step by step upon his birth, culminating in Junior's taking up the business once Senior was gone or ready to step down. It also doesn't help that DJ hates what his father does for a living. He's just not good with business. He finds it boring and tedious and he flat out doesn't enjoy it (and he doesn't try to hide this); not to mention he's not very business-minded. Plus he also doesn't like that his father doesn't support him at all (since he won't follow what would have been his father's "plan" for him), treats him like he's the scum of the earth, and is more or less ashamed of having named his son after him.

Father's view on Children
Second Son > Third Son = Baby Girl > DJ

Mother's view on Children
Baby Girl > DJ = Second Son = Third Son

Will DJ ever go back to LA?
Now that's probably never gonna happen, at least not as long as his old man is gonna be around to breathe down his neck. DJ has no immediate plans to return to his parents' house, but he does keep in touch with his mother and brothers via email and the occasional video chat. He hasn't seen or spoken to his father since leaving for Destiny City.

Where's he headed after Hillworth?
As DJ is graduating soon-ish (hopefully...), he plans on............... actually, he has no idea where he's going. It's likely he'll move on to either DCU or SHP, however his chances of getting into the latter are probably rather slim.

...Why's that?
Because, although he can perform at an above average (though certainly not genius) level, more often than not he gets too easily bored with assignments and things that pertain to school. The assignments he passes are either unfinished or completely half-assed, for lack of a better word. His academic performance is less than stellar, basically.

Where do you see him going though?
Personally I think he could be headed in the direction of engineering of some kind (perhaps mechanical?). How long it'll take him to get any degree, though, I have no idea. Ideally I'd like for him to eventually get a degree, and he kind of does too, if only to be able to shove it in his dad's face (though that wouldn't help their situation any).

So in what ways did he infuriate/defy his dad prior to getting booted to Hillworth?
Oh, some typically juvenile ways. The most notable would have to be taking things apart just to piss the ol' man off, but he's done a bunch of silly little things on the side too. He barely passes, eats a bunch of junk food (his dad's a health nut), acts all snobby and ill-mannered when forced to go to business functions (so now he just gets formal invitations, but he's never forced to go); he once planted a virus that erased his father's HD with pertinent business-related information and files on it (which got him grounded for nearly 2 months). He also ignores his curfew/groundings/punishments as best he can, goofs off whenever he's around his father's colleagues, etc. If it's just short of getting him arrested and will for sure piss off his father he's probably done it at least once (y'know, for the novelty and the lulz).


itspao_


Witty Punching Bag



itspao_


Witty Punching Bag

PostPosted: Mon Feb 25, 2013 9:45 pm


Help? o-o I'm really not that sure about his weapons and powers, so any input on those would be greatly appreciated~

Got a question! I understand on quests it's important to explain just the hobbies/traits, but would it be alright to expand on how the character developed the hobby/trait in more detail after getting a stamp?
PostPosted: Fri Mar 15, 2013 10:40 pm


_ p a o cx


Hey, pao! [or any other nickname you'd rather go by!]

First of all, congratulations on winning Ashur! [He's very handsome 8D]

Since you've already got his art, I'll try to make this quick! For starters, to answer your question, you are welcome to add extra info into the journal after you get his quest! Just as long as you aren't changing or rewriting things [since that would require posting in the revision thread!] it is all right to expand/give background information in the journal!

For his civilian, this looks good to me! All of his traits have great descriptions and seem to work well together!

For his powered side, I am worried that giving him two sticks might be a bit overpowered for a knight; most knights' magic are limited to only one weapon, and because in later stages he could do some damage, I think it might be best to stick to just one stick. Beyond that, though, I think the weapon choice looks good! The magic for his squire stage seems like it is reasonable even with a weapon that can be used offensively, however with his knight stage, I think it is a little too strong. In the Knight Powers and Abilities - 2.0 thread in the information subforum, there is an example that I think might be relevant here! It states, "Example: Because he has a highly defensive weapon, Lord Squire has discovered that he can channel through his shield to use a gust of air to push people off of their feet. It's not very strong though and can't be channeled for too long. In his third stage, Lord Knight's gust of air is much stronger, sweeping people onto the ground, as well as an extended magic pool to allow him to channel this for longer/more frequently."

Because Ashur's weapons are not defensive, I don't think his magic should be as strong for his knight stage. While you have said that it will be used defensively for the majority of the time, I feel like you could get the same effect if you used the magic from his squire stage and just increased the magic pool [thirty seconds sounds good to me!].

The final thing is, I think the summons is really neat! Since they are so new, though, I'm not sure if I'm qualified at all to approve it! That being said, I would wait until you have a stamp for him, and then post your summons information in this thread just to be on the safe side!

Beyond that, though, I think this profile is really close to being stamped! He seems like a really interesting character, so if you have any questions, comments or make any changes, give me a quote and I'll be back asap!


Kyuseisha no Hikari

Crew

Dragonslaying Dragon



itspao_


Witty Punching Bag

PostPosted: Sat Mar 16, 2013 12:48 am


Kyuseisha no Hikari

'Sup~! Pao is fine. :]

Thanks! Verithe did a great job with him. ^o^ And thanks for the clarifications and the crit~

I had a feeling his powered side would have some issues. lol His official art currently has two sticks atm, so I hope it's okay that it stays two sticks. I changed his squire/knight weapon so the two sticks are fused into just just one weapon (a staff; one Eskrima stick just doesn't seem right.. >o>;), so I hope that's okay now. I also changed his magic to be defensive, a sort of shield form of the idea I had for his (possible) summons.

Edit!
Oh, and about his summons! I'll be sure to post there when he gets stamped. Thank you! :]
PostPosted: Sat Mar 16, 2013 6:10 pm


_ p a o cx

I really like the use of a staff and I think his magic works much better now! He's very close to earning a trial stamp from me, so the last thing I want to look at is the upgrades he's got for magic! Typically magic is limited to two upgrades per stage [such as a combination of an additional effect, longer duration, larger radius, etc] so looking between his squire and knight attacks, there are a lot of upgrades going on. This in mind, however, I think you could change a few things in his squire stage to make his attack upgrade into his knight attack better!

Right now, you have it as:
*Time upgrades from 15->30 (45) seconds
*Works 80% upgrades to 90% (and also can block stronger opponents 60% of the time as well)
*Can block projectile+magic and upgrades from blocking that and close range physical attacks

My advice would be either to chose two of these upgrades and remove the third, or [because I don't think it would make his squire magic too strong] making it so that his squire magic can block projectile+magic and close range physical attacks. Additionally, I was wondering if his squire attack is weaker against stronger opponents? [ie, his percentage drops from 90->60 for higher opponents when he is a knight; is there a similar effect during squire stage? Ie, 60% for 3rd stage characters, 30% for 4th stage characters?]. For time, I think 30 seconds for squire and 45 for knight sound good, if you are comfortable with that length!


Kyuseisha no Hikari

Crew

Dragonslaying Dragon



itspao_


Witty Punching Bag

PostPosted: Sat Mar 16, 2013 10:03 pm


Kyuseisha no Hikari

Okay~! Let's see. I made s'more tweaks per your suggestions, so I hope that's all good.

His squire magic wouldn't work on anyone above his level, so if a General were to attack him he'd kinda be screwed on the magic front. He'd still be able to fight, but the shield wouldn't be of any help. I just thought it'd make sense for him to, in his knight stage, have some abilities against a 4th stage character.
PostPosted: Sun Mar 17, 2013 12:03 pm


_ p a o cx

All right! It makes a lot of sense to include that, so thank you for adding it in! I think it looks good to me now, and I really look forward to seeing him played! I'm going to drop a trial stamp for you now; thank you for your patience! A GM will be in as soon as possible to give the final verdict!

User Image - Blocked by "Display Image" Settings. Click to show.


Kyuseisha no Hikari

Crew

Dragonslaying Dragon



itspao_


Witty Punching Bag

PostPosted: Sun Mar 17, 2013 1:29 pm


Kyuseisha no Hikari

Yayy~! Thank you. ^o^
PostPosted: Mon Mar 18, 2013 9:26 am


ACCEPTED, have fun playing him!

Also, your Summon is fine and does not need to be reposted.

Iris_virus

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