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Posted: Thu Jan 24, 2013 7:43 pm
you are the silence in between what I thought and what I said
x♙ Personality: xxnon-confrontational | meddlesome | hopeful | dichotomous xxKieran's personality often sways in the favor of anybody she happens to talk to, in order to reflect what she would think they would find likable. She's a deliberate meddler and a people-pleaser. And she only wants to just tweak any situation so it's best and every one is happy. She's a seamless kind of dust, non-confrontational yet always somehow in everyone's business. Since she finds herself meddling with others so often, she admires Sojo greatly. His impartiality is what she strives for (and fails to achieve). Kieran believes that if the gods had just viewed things as Sojo had, observing only, there would be no need for Dust to exist. Humanity would remain as it ever had, as it should, unmolested. Despite her admiration for impartiality and letting things progress naturally, she's never been able to just let something be if she can see a way to gently improve it. Sometimes she hates herself for not letting things run just as they will be, but she justifies it as her existence's purpose. But sometimes those are just pretty words and Kieran wonders if this world wouldn't be better off if herself and all other Dusts didn't exist at all.
x♙ Dislikes: xx-water, phobic of large bodies xx-blood xx-very loud people xx-multitasking
x♙ In Essence: xx Kieran is full of self-doubt and a pushover. She doesn't understand concepts like why she shouldn't be bullied. After all, as long as it doesn't kill her and it makes someone happy...
WHAT I'M LOOKING FOR I need these plot points thus far. And please, please send other ideas for plots my way 8D
❷Kieran's Self-Worthsee 'vague coherent plotting' section other players needed for this plotsolos multiple rps where Kieran doubts herself and her self-assigned 'purpose' of helping suicidal tendencies in that direction, as she's not meant to exist by her standards of belief
❸Eli's Side Jobs other players needed for this plot side jobs = math tutor but don't forget, he goes into town a lot for his accounting job too
❹Eli isdumb and Ladies other players needed for this plotsolosMAGNOLIA Eli's still dumb and hits on new ladies, but rather despondently engage in flirtations with other guardians, etc Kieran's reaction to that.
❺Kieran's Appearance other players needed for this plotsolos Kieran does not look natural. How do people react to her? It must be very lonely; the people of Aimes are not truly ready for dusts. Bad reaction from normal people - Kieran still wants to help everyone. But will they let her? first appearance of intangible ability?
VAGUE COHERENT PLOTTING
❼ ❽ ❾ PLEASE NOTE: suicide is something Kieran thinks about, but never truly acts on. As much as she questions her right to live, she likes living. The struggle is her justifying her own life when she truly believes she should not exist.
Kieran would have a vague knowledge of her purpose from the beginning - born as she is, in basic essence, a type of air entity, anything whispered through the years could have been instilled in her. While young, she would not truly understand what this meant. But gradually the knowledge would surface, perhaps in recurring nightmares, triggering her to begin violently questioning herself and her natural inclination to help humans. Not full knowledge, not specifics of Ozara's demons, but that Dusts were created for the purpose of helping humans for some greater objective. If not born with it, Kieran does become a bit religious fairly quickly. In this case, she could find some texts and hear rumors over time and begin to piece together the reality of what she is. (I do prefer her to realize partial knowledge within herself, rather than have it from an outlying source.)
However, this leads to Kieran thinking that she shouldn't even exist because she is 'created' for the purpose of assisting humans. In that, while no one should create demons to destroy, no one should create Dusts to help.
In the end, I was planning on her reconciling herself that as long as demons do exist, she must exist. But as if the demons were to ever leave or be eradicated, then she should be as well. But before she can reconcile that however, severe self-doubt and suicidal tendencies appear, especially during the period where Kieran does not really know of the demons' existence. Why were Dusts created to help the humans? Everything should progress naturally. Yet while she thinks this, she has difficulty because it is her natural urge to help and make things better for humans and she cannot figure out why.
The feeling of not having a true right to exist can be intense. but it does not define Kieran. It's not the main issue of the dust, but a catalyst to becoming who she will be. And yes, grow and rise above it, while still keeping the core of 'when the work is done, the demons gone, I should be gone as well'.
Posted: Thu Jan 24, 2013 8:04 pm
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