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 Posted: Mon Mar 06, 2006 5:55 am
-oo-;; Hoy! I tend to write simple, one page stories to keep myself from boredom in classes like physics and statistics. Great for keeping myself awake! ^^; I don't mind reviewing and tips on how to improve my writing style, but keep in mind, I'm probably not going to take these stories too seriously, so don't get upset over them? ^^;
If I use your character/person, please don't be too upset? I do like to know if I am keeping them in character though. <3
Things that I like to know the most is what emotion does this piece seem to carry and/or what emotion does it make you feel if you feel any emotion at all. 3nodding
ninja Now to kick this off!
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Posted: Mon Mar 06, 2006 12:07 pm
"Urgh...."
Stumbling in through the dorr, General Westonian clutched at his head. The pounding headache attested to the empty bottles from the night before. The trial and eariler thoughts of his line of work verus the Mods' loving message made his mind ache at night until the point only alcohol could deliver him into sweet rest.
"Are you alright? Oh! Oh no! Again Slayer General?"
The young Hospitaller General rose from her chair. Concern flowing from her eyes, she quickly shortened the distance between them. Closing her sparkling blue eyes, Moryera whispered a prayer to the Mods. After a flash of bright light filled the room, she gently touched the side of his arms with her hands.
"How do you feel, Sir?"
Slowly his sky blue eyes opened. Now that his head was clear, he could notice things again. What startled him was how he never noticed just how beautiful this pale, lovely young woman was before this moment. Moryera could feel his gaze piercing into her. Chiding herself for being unprofessional, she dropped her hands to her side. Mourning the loss of touch from this lavender angel, Westonian detected a faint blush on her cheeks. Gently grabbing her hand, he could only whisper.
"Never felt better in my life."
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Posted: Wed Mar 08, 2006 7:00 am
[ Message temporarily off-line ]
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Posted: Thu Mar 30, 2006 2:10 pm
Oh, my gosh! >W< SO CUTE! The first one is so romantic and pretty and makes me blush a bit, and the second...*squees at the kitten* I can see her so clearly in my mind. I WANT A PURRING FUZZY FLUFFBALL! 
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Posted: Thu Mar 30, 2006 5:57 pm
Alina Shea Oh, my gosh! >W< SO CUTE! The first one is so romantic and pretty and makes me blush a bit, and the second...*squees at the kitten* I can see her so clearly in my mind. I WANT A PURRING FUZZY FLUFFBALL! YES! Feed back! >x3 <3! ^w^ I'm glad I could give a feeling of romance in the first~ And yes, purring fuzzy fluffballs = LOVE.
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Posted: Fri Mar 31, 2006 12:35 pm
*Axioma is decidedly not a dog person*
Major major love for the second one. First one was good too, I guess, but my attention was on the second. Who is this enigmatic he? I guess we'll never know...
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Posted: Fri Mar 31, 2006 7:27 pm
Axioma *Axioma is decidedly not a dog person* Major major love for the second one. First one was good too, I guess, but my attention was on the second. Who is this enigmatic he? I guess we'll never know... Nobody knows. whee
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Posted: Sun Apr 02, 2006 4:01 pm
Terrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrri~! Way to give stuff AWAY! D: Don't you think there is a reason I leave out details?!
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Posted: Sun Apr 02, 2006 4:31 pm
heart So cute! Both of those were lovely, I like the second better, but only because I'm partial to kittens. Tiny black fluffy things trounce any competition.
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Posted: Sun Apr 02, 2006 7:13 pm
Icysnowgirl Terrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrri~! Way to give stuff AWAY! D: Don't you think there is a reason I leave out details?! Oopsie. I suck. sweatdrop How can I make it up to you? redface
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Posted: Sun Apr 02, 2006 7:44 pm
Alexi Terianis Icysnowgirl Terrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrri~! Way to give stuff AWAY! D: Don't you think there is a reason I leave out details?! Oopsie. I suck. sweatdrop How can I make it up to you? redface dX Stop giving away information might be a good place to start!
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Posted: Thu Apr 06, 2006 10:34 am
[ Message temporarily off-line ]
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Posted: Fri Apr 07, 2006 11:23 am
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Posted: Fri Apr 07, 2006 11:52 am
Ahh, spring. Flowers, fun and...
...! *blush* Ack, Icy! I told you not to...@~@;;; Well, it IS a lovely story. Very vivid imagery.
And I can understand Axioma's objection -- sometimes, people tend to use adverbs way more than they should, and it makes the language overwrought and overdramatic. You want to avoid that. I didn't have a problem with "gracefully," but the "bossily" wasn't needed since the act of demanding something implies a certain bossiness. :3
You make me want to pick flowers with you and braid your hair. *o*
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Posted: Sat Apr 08, 2006 12:16 am
[ Message temporarily off-line ]
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