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Posted: Mon Dec 17, 2012 4:27 am
[This is a Private Self-RP by Syaoran-Puu. Involving Chandra and Rinkini] [Please do not post without permission]  
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Posted: Mon Dec 17, 2012 5:05 am
Chandra and her herd had left the homeland she had known for most of her life a while ago. The road was rough, her hooves disliking the constant walking even as she did it without complaint. There was a reason she was here and doing this... she needed to remember that. For her herd, for her father. It had taken a while but it seemed that she was finally gaining some confidence in terms of being 'alpha'. Had answered questions and offered help and advice to those that requested it, but that didn't mean she wanted to be the alpha.... her fathers words from when she was a foal rung in her head. Sometimes we do not ask for what we are given, but what we do with what we are given is the most important thing. Yes, she may not have asked to be an alpha but that was what she now was, she needed to exude strength and dignity, offer advice and hold command well. It didn't help that this was new for her, she hadn't wandered before while some of those who travelled with her had. She felt awkward and silly but she tried not to show it, there were times and things that she felt completely comfortable with. Talking about foals and pregnancy, talking about food and healing herbs. She was still a little baffled by training and weapons and traps... but she was adapting, she just hoped it was fast enough.
It was because she needed a break that she found herself where she was today. Wandering through the forest not far from her herd, she knew she wasn't meant to go off alone, didn't intend to break the rules, but the solitude strangely called her. Just a little fresh air. A little time to think and compose herself. Could anyone hold that against her? Her mind was alive with her thoughts, the pressure and needs of those relying on her... and Chandra was determined to be everything they needed and more!Rinkini felt heavy and swollen, her body so very different now... what had happened? She had left Demon and his army to stumble into Cooper... a blissful and confusing experience that had left her... fat with foals? Panic didn't start to explain how she felt, no it was beyond panic, beyond reason. She had wandered, the aches getting more and more painful, her body tender and desperate for something but she didn't know what. Eventually she stumbled on a root, her body falling to the ground without any hope of stopping herself. Far from the graceful feline she usually was. Her heart thundered in her chest, her eyes closed for a moment while pain gripped her. She screamed. Instinct took over for Chandra when she heard the scream. She might not be trained or even willing for the most part to fight but she couldn't simply abandon someone in need either... something she had inherited from her parents she was sure, the need to help, to sooth to heal. It was for that reason that the bulky mare found her hooves slamming into the ground as they ate the dirt towards the sound. It sounded... pained, warped, twisted... torture perhaps? She didn't know what she would do when she got closer, spy the area perhaps and then decide what to do? Charging in blind was stupid, and if there was a threat Chandra knew she would be less than useless.... but that didn't mean she couldn't go and seek help, ensure that someone who could help whoever was screaming reached them in time.
Of course her thoughts and intentions shattered the moment she saw what it was... a mare... a very pregnant mare.... gripped in the throes of labour! Instinct took over, the nervous exterior slipping into a mask of utter composure as she approached. "Shhhhh, shhhh...... it's ok." She kept her distance, not wanting to spook the already pained mare. Her eyes assessed her form, took in the body and the tensing muscles of her stomach. They were close. So very close.Rinkini winced as the pain floored her, stole her breath and left her limp and lifeless on the ground while she waited for the next pain to take her. Ouch... her mother had never warned her how painful this could be! The voice startled her, and she jumped, her eyes flashing open and her mouth automatically reached down for her blade. Eyes of red shone from her pale pelt as she assessed the.... angel? She was beautiful, midnight pelt broken with the white of stars, blue and white of the ocean climb up her legs and eyes so blue they didn't appear real or even possible! Around the blade she mumbled a "G-oo....a-w...yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!" The last sound was dragged out as she screamed again, dropping her blade so that it actually impaled herself as she yelped and tried to compose herself, but there was no stopping this, she was having these babies now... even if she didn't want them. Wasn't ready! Tears started to brim over her eyes, and the weakness disguisted her. For a moment Chandra panicked at the sight of the blade, at least until she realised something... this mare was just scared, scared and very much alone. Of course a stranger interupting her most private time would be anything but welcomed. And when the mare dropped her blade during a contraction it was all Chandra could do not to leap out of her pelt and rush to her aid. Infact....
She gentled her features and stepped closer a little... "Shhhh, I won't harm you." A new set of determination took over her. She would not abandon this fierce mare. No. She wouldn't do that, couldn't. It went against everything she was. Do no harm. "My name is Chandra. I am a midwife, that means I deliver babies... I promise to help you and your precious gifts, please let me." Almost a plea hung on her last words.Rinkini was too far gone to really respond. Her breathing fast and heavy and her heart pounding. Chandra? She managed a gruff. "Riri...." She didn't like using her full name, power in a name, and she didn't want anyone to have power over her again! But was it too late? Did Cooper already hold power over her? Were these children going to tie her to him forever? She started to hyperventilate at the thought. "Shhhhh, calm down." She pressed her nose to the other mares forehead in an effort to calm her, lowering herself to the ground and once again examining everything. Blood seeped from the stab wound but for now that would wait, she could deal with that when there wasn't the pressing matter of babies coming. "Riri. A beautiful name. I'm here. We will do this together... ok?" She looked in the home made sling for a few herbs and took one out. "Here, chew this, it will help with the pain, I promise."Rinkini hesitated at the order to eat, even as she found herself with a slight break from her pain. Did she trust this angel enough to eat? Would it lead to her being blackmailed and tricked and controlled again? She didn't want to be in an army again... and the thought that this mare would somehow make it so she had to wasn't appealing, yet as soon as her next contraction consumed and then ebbed she was left with little option. It hurt! It hurt so much. She chewed the herb in desperate need of relief, her body sagging from the exhaution that threated to take her under. Chandra smiled softly. "Good girl. You're doing so well beautiful, I promise I won't leave you until it's over, so good. Keep it up." Her examination revealed the mare was ready.... "Now, I need you to listen very carefully too me. Push. Push with all your might."------------------A while later----------------  
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Posted: Mon Dec 17, 2012 6:07 am
Chandra had used the only things she could find for makeshift baskets, the mare had obviously either been taken by surprise with her labour or simply hadn't been prepared, she wasn't going to judge either way. It seemed that all three of the baskets were healthy and happy enough... though there seemed to be an almost strange glow around them that Chandra didn't understand. She shook her head and returned her attention to the wound the mare had inflicted on herself. "Keep still a little longer, I swear I am nearly done." She spoke nothing but the truth, finding it easier to get someone to trust you when you didn't hide anything from them. Plus, hiding anything right now seemed pointless. Her blue eyes darted over the mare, her features and then to the baskets. Three. It had been a difficult labour and the mare deserved the rest she was currently taking.
"You helped me?" Rinkini was still stunned into disbelief at it all. She had expected to be alone, had run from Cooper for her own fear.... yet here she was, in the grip of an angel who had actually helped her. Was this a sign that she wasn't as corrupted as she sometimes thought? As her dreams of doom often lead her to believe? She scanned the mare, this midwife, for a moment and was thankful to have never seen her in her dreams. It had happened before, seeing someone who looked like a creature of her dreams, only serving to strength her belief that her dreams were true, that she did indeed dream the way others would one day die. She had seen Cooper, she realised, was that part of the reason why she had run? Her blade had stuck from his throat after all....
She whimpered, shivered slightly and looked away to the baskets. Three. She was a mother of three? What was she meant to do now? Return? Run? Abandon them? Bring them up? What?
She nodded softly, watched as the mare seemed to battle with something and then shiver. Without thinking she spread two of her wings and placed them softly over the mare to keep her warm as she packed the stab wound with herbs and things to keep it sealed and help it heal. "Is everything ok?" She asked softly, not wanting to pry too much but not wanting to leave the mare alone either.
Rinkini tore her gaze from the baskets and back to the mare as she spoke again. Was it so obvious that everything was not ok? It was then that she noticed the wings on her and blinked in surprise.. when... how? She hadn't even noticed, not that she was going to kick them off, they were warm and comfortable and actually made her feel so much better. Like she could bury her nose into them and just forget all her troubles. She blushed at the thought and looked away again.
Silence spread over her for a moment until she finally spoke. "Yes. No. I don't know." She admitted. Her eyes once more looking at the baskets. "Too quick. Things happened so fast... wasn't prepared... don't... I...." She closed her eyes, her emotions and hormones raging inside her until the tears started to flow. She must have looked pathetic and weak, her cat tail swayed in aggrivation at herself. This wasn't her, she was the strong and confident mare who tried to hide the torment of her dreams behind a harsh mask.... but everything was too much. Tricked into an army, marching with them before finally being freed only to run into a captor a very different kind... Cooper, foals.
She turned to look at the mare again, raw emotion on her face. "Is it terrible that I don't want them?"
Chandra absently rubbed the mare with her wings as she tried to battle with herself as to what to say. She could understand the mixed emotions, the need to be ok but not all at the same time. The near overwhelmingness of it all. She could see it in those hauntingly beautiful red eyes. When the mare asked her question she shook her head softly and smiled, it wasn't her place to judge but from what the mare had stuttered to her question there was something Chandra knew... "You weren't expecting them, that doesn't mean you don't want them. You look a little... scared... overwhelmed... that's normal. Trust me. The fact that there are three is probably also a big thing to you, it's a shock just having one but suddenly having three." She smiled sweetly and knowingly, she didn't know if Riri had a stallion or a mare to help her or if she would do it alone but Chandra was sure that she could do it. "Take it a breath at a time, then a day, then a week. Soon it will be second nature and you won't even have to think about it anymore. You'll look at them and see something beautiful and unique and you." That was how she felt whenever she looked at her children, no matter their flaws or difficulties she loved them all unconditionally.
"Have you thought of any names?" It was a slight effort to help the mare think of the positives rather than lingering on the negative that had her asking this. Diversion tactic's at their best.
Rinkini listened and actually relaxed a little. Was that true? Was she just in shock because it was unexpected? Did she.... want them? Want Cooper too? Had she made a mistake by running away? Guilt shot thought her and she found herself burying her nose under the heavy black and white feathers that covered her. "No... not yet.... do you...." She hesitated, not wanting to say too much in case the angel fled from her, saw her as dirty and unworthy or something. Still, her heart needed an answer. She needed the answer. An answer she couldn't seem to get on her. She would just have to suffer through the walk of shame. "I ran away from Cooper... their father... I didn't explain or.... I dunno... I just.... ran...." She blushed again. "...should I....eh...." She couldn't ask any more.
Chandra blinked in surprise when the other mare finally got her question out but just smiled. She wasn't about to tell the mare she had to go back to this Cooper but nor would she ignore the issue either, after all she didn't know the stallion... he could be the most adorable and loving stallion around, or he could be abusive and deadly. Given how the baskets seemed to have an almost eerie feel to them, should she guess the latter? No.... not her place. She reminded herself and offered he honest opinion instead of lingering on things she didn't know. "Go back to him?" She finished the question off, "That is up to you. Only you know what is in your heart Riri, only you know what is best for you and your children... and that's where your solution lies. It's not just you anymore, you have to think of the bigger picture. Whether that is with Cooper or without him, only you can decide." She kept her smile in place. Looked down at the mare reassuringly and lovingly.
"Perhaps... if I tell you a story, that will help you decide?" She offered. Her smile still in place even as she recalled her own parents. "There was a mare by the name of Sengdroma. She fell in love with a stallion who seemed larger than life, bigger than the world and the moon and everything within in. They danced under the moon, he fetched her the most perfect or roses and together they found a sliver of peace. One day she told him about her dream, to learn to fight so she could protect the family she one day wanted." She had heard her father tell this story so many times that in her mind it was both real and myth. "He introduced her to the only stallion he trusted to teach her, knowing in his heart that he could never teach her, could never harm her and therefore would never be able to help her learn what she needed to know.... of course, Sengdroma didn't know this. The stallion, Maion, had purposefully made it appear as if they were breaking up, as if this was their last encounter, that making her wish come true was the only thing he had been sent to do. She cried, longed for a love that had not fully awoken. Still she trained, wanted to prove that she could do it, that she was worth something and would never again allow someone to use her and toss her aside." Chandra looked down at the mare, reassured when she noticed the other mare was intently listening even as her eyes lay on her babies. "She was pregnant. But still she gave it everything she had, everything she could muster to be stronger, to make her dream come true despite whose children they were they where her's too. That was all that mattered." She smiled softly. "What Sengdroma didn't know, was that every night Maion would speak with his old friend, the tutor, and ask about Sengdroma.... he refused to tell Maion of the babies, knowing only Sengdroma could do that, but he would always report how she was doing with her training. A good and highly adaptable student." Coming from Sofiel that was huge, the fluttercorn had been the one to teach her own mate to fight. She would always owe him for making Sonnet's dreams come true just like he had her mothers. "One day she finally finished her training, had given birth to three beautiful children and then after a little break was finally ready to take them to her herdlands." Chandra chuckled at what happened next, knowing that this part was a combination of memory and story. "Sengdroma saw Maion on the way, hid the three children and walked out to face him. The sparred, Maion trying to teach her the last lesson she would ever need.... but then the three foals burst from the trees and charged the stallion. Screaming at him not to attack their Mummy, to leave her alone.... which of course brought a look of surprise and then realisation from the stallion." He had been huge, Chandra remembered that part well. Her father had always been a giant, but after becoming an elder he had become massive. "Everything came to light then, the similarities, the features that couldn't be hidden or described as anything but his own shining brightly from three very different and unusual pelts.... his children."
She took a deep breath, her expression almost dreamy as she remembered how good and innocent and free things had been back then. The beginning. "They started a herd together, lived happily ever after." Not true now, the sadness still lingered in her eyes. She wished it was true but the fact was that her parents seemed to be drifting apart, her father leaving the herd land to get the space he seemed to so desperatly need. "My point." She added swiftly so as not to reveal the true ending. "Is sometimes, you do not know what will happen, you can not see all of the truth.... and sometimes, you never will unless you take a risk." Risk losing your loved one to make their dream come true, risk losing everything by hiding your foals from their father.... everything.
Rinkini actually found herself crying again, she told herself it was nothing more than the hormones again but the truth was the story actually touched her. "Is that a true story?" She found herself asking, unable to stop herself. Her mind already wondering if she had run too soon from Cooper. He was a good stallion, had been nothing but kind and understanding with her since their chance encounter.... ok, so they had fallen pregnant after only one night together but he hadn't abandoned her as so many stallions were rumoured to... no, it had been she who had run away after all.
Chandra smiled softly, "Yes." She hesitated for a moment and then decided to tell the truth. "Sengdroma and Maion are my parents." She chuckled lightly, trying to brighten the mood. "My first proper memory is attacking my father and begging him not to hurt my mother." A stupid thing now really, it was clear her father would never have hurt her mother, never. He didn't indulge and enjoy hurting anyone.
That caught her attention and her head darted back to the mare as if seeing her in a new light. "Your parents? Then.... you.... I mean.... " She sighed and then just said a simple. "Wow....."
Chandra chuckled at that reply. "Yeah. They always had such a strong bond that I wanted that for myself."
"Did you find it? That bond I mean?" Rinkini wasn't sure why she was asking so many questions but now she had stopped she couldn't seem to stop.
She nodded softly, "Yes. In the form of my best friend. Don't get me wrong.... at first that really was all he was, but soon he became more... he wooed me, swept me off my hooves in this quiet way of his.... and here I now stand, the mother of three, the alpha of a herd and the most cherished mate of a stallion I know will never abandon me." She chuckled softly wondering for a moment what Sonnet would think if he ever learnt she had just said any of that. It made her feel a little naughty, but in a good way. "But I had a choice to make... long ago... two suitors and only one me. Both were my close friends... by picking Sonnet I lost most of the contact I had with Alistair... but you know what..." She shifted slightly and looked to the sky. "I followed my heart and I don't regret it. Would do the same thing again." Despite everything that really was the truth.
"Really? But that's...." She blushed and gulped a little, "Thats so brave, I don't know if I even really like Cooper.... I mean... it just sort of happened, we didn't plan this, we didn't even really know each other. But I know he didn't abandon me but could that just be because of the foals and not me?" Was that the root of her worry? That it was her that Cooper wanted but the foals? That he wanted to take her babies away from her? They may not have been planned, may not have been expected.... but they were her's too!
Chandra nodded softly and leaned into kiss Riri's cheek softly. "You know... there is only one person who can really answer your question. Cooper. Running away will never get you the truth, but talking to him, telling him how you feel and where you stand.... well, that could change everything." She smiled again and looked up at the night sky for a moment. "My father once told me.... it is the things we don't do that we always regret. I agree with him. If you try and fail at least you can always say you tried, but if you don't? If you just run away? You will always wonder what if? And the worst part is that you will never know the answer, not for sure."
Once more she lowered her gaze to the mare. "In the end it is up to you Riri." She nodded softly. "No one but you can make this decision."
Rinkini knew that. Closed her eyes for a moment and just spent a moment to think, to accept and then decide.... Chandra was right, and now that she saw it through fresh eyes she realised something. Running away was not the option she could ever take. That was weak and pathetic. She hadn't even run from a kalona and his army! "You're right." She said softly. "Thank you!" She smiled a little and looked at the baskets. "He deserves to meet them. He deserves a chance. I have to give him it... because... I deserve a chance too."
She nodded a little, happiness and hope bubbling in her eyes. "Good luck Riri. I am sure you can do it." Never give up. Never surrender. This conversation actually helped Chandra too, remindered her of things she had thought long forgotten.... but the message was the same for her too.
If you don't try you never know. You will always regret it. Chandra never wanted to regret anything else. She had her herd. Her family. Together they could overcome anything and everything, all she needed to do was believe that was true and never give up.
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