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 Posted: Sun Dec 16, 2012 1:44 pm
Zar might have noticed everything that was going on in the world outside his dormitory-turned office. But he didn't bother, there was a lot of work to be done, whatever the reason, there was a lot more paperwork to be done this last month, simple filing and organising and it had been easy to turn off his thoughts and simply work with occasional breaks to venture out for food.
It had been inexplicably snowy, but he tried not to question it, simply get out and get back again with minimal disaster.
Today was the same as every other day had been for a long while, seated at his desk, neatly scratching away at a declined form for a request for something or other
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Posted: Sun Dec 16, 2012 3:31 pm
Nuru however was all too aware of the festive season and the feelings of warmth and closeness usually associated with it. This time however, he'd found himself locked out in the cold yet again. It's been weeks and he's still not sure he's figured it out yet.
He narrowed his eyes, silently scolding the claw-marked door belonging to the demon who is supposed to be his boilfriend - or at least was, some time ago. He didn't know what had become of him though. There was a love and affection that the barghest craved and returned ten fold. But those feelings have since been crushed under a boot of some sort of sickness. Something was wrong and he didn't understand it. He wanted to fix Zar, to get those feelings back. Or at the very least try to understand his sickness. To try and find a cure.
The scathing glare hesitated with uncertainty. He was sick too. He attacked that human horribly. He didn't know why he did it. Why he couldn't stop it. Zar must not have been able to, either.
His expression softened and he gave a careful knock on the door. At least. To see if Zar was any better.
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Posted: Sun Dec 16, 2012 6:39 pm
"It's open." Zar stated calmly. And it was, there was no reason to lock the door these days when he didn't leave in the first place to make security an issue, there was also no real attempt to keep Nuru out, no longer so much avoiding the boil as simply ignoring him for the most part.
He didn't break his writing pace in the slightest.
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Posted: Mon Dec 17, 2012 4:05 am
Nuru turned the doorknob slowly and creaked the door open just a crack to peer inside, ensuring no traps awaited him before he shoved it wide open and marched inside. He stood behind Zar, tail wagging wildly side to side with a sick anxious feeling building in his gut. He wanted to put his head on the boil, wanted to hug him and tell him how much he missed him. He wanted to cover his face in kisses until he'd get sick of it and shoved him off. Nuru wanted a lot of things right now, but he knew he wasn't getting a lot of them. Not right now anyway.
He cleared his throat, trying to look serious but his tail continued to give him away, "Zah. Ah wanted ta talk."
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Posted: Tue Dec 18, 2012 4:09 pm
Zar didn't even look around as Nuru walked into the room, simply inclined an ear slightly in his direction and curled his serpentine tail around his chair a little more firmly, almost defensive. Irrational and illogical emotions seethed in him, mistrust, irritation, love, he couldn't place them or identify them. It was simple to put words on paper, to organise and file, but what went on inside his own head was a mystery.
Nuru's words spoke of breakups, of changed, businesses collapses. It was a murual business agreement but now we part ways. About that budget deficit.
We need to talk.
He licked his lips, black tongue on razor sharp white teeth and finally turned to look over a shoulder at Nuru, he was sure his horns were getting larger these days, it used to be easier to see past them.
"So talk."
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Posted: Tue Dec 18, 2012 4:39 pm
Nuru stared at Zar, quietly waiting for that moment when he finally turned. Finally turned and said something to him. He stared a bit too long at his mouth, long after the words had left it, before suddenly jerking his head back and clearing his throat.
"Zah... Ah... how ya feelin'?" he carefully tested the waters.
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Posted: Tue Dec 18, 2012 4:52 pm
Zar looked Nuru over with almost predatory detachment, as if he was only just seeing the ghost boil for the first time. His eyes lingered once or twice before he spoke, feelings. How was he feeling? It was quite a question, he wasn't sure he felt anything at all these days, not in the way he used to. But there was still feeling and emotion there, yes he was sure of that. Sadness. Guilt. Loss. All lined up neatly for his inspection, like prisoners.
"I am doing no better than average." he said carefully. "And no worse. Why?"
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Posted: Tue Dec 18, 2012 5:00 pm
Nuru cringed, Zar was still sounding like some sort of monotone robot. Still, he carefully waded through his own emotions to hazard a gentle approach towards what he was really - truly - here for.
"Do y'still feel t'same? About me?" he looked worried and for good reason.
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Posted: Tue Dec 18, 2012 5:05 pm
For a second, Zar almost looked taken off guard by the question, as if Nuru had asked him some elaborate mathematical sum.
"How did I feel before?"
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Posted: Tue Dec 18, 2012 5:07 pm
Okay, maybe a little less softness and a bit more direct, "Ah mean... how d'ya feel about meh... righ' now?"
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Posted: Tue Dec 18, 2012 5:25 pm
Zar pursed his lips with just a hint of haughty irritation. "I feel like you are being a pest mostly. What would you want me to say? That I feel nothing at all about anything? Because that is how I feel of late. That emotions are extraneous."
He untwined his tail from the chair, curling it in Nuru's direction.
"And if you want them from me you are ahem. Barking up the wrong tree."
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Posted: Tue Dec 18, 2012 5:42 pm
"How can y'say that?! Ya... ya used t'say y'loved me. Do y'even know what love feels like annehmoa?" He gave Zar an irritable look for his poor attempt at a mocking joke. Nuru insists he does not bark. Ever.
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Posted: Tue Dec 18, 2012 5:47 pm
"No. I don't. And without comprehending what it entails I do not know if I ever truly did. Having you around was pleasant. It had its carnal fulfilments but you ask so much emotional investment in return. Well I wasn't sure I was getting my money's worth, nor that I could adequately recompense you on my end of the bargain." He ran his talons through his hair coolly.
"Would you prefer I lied?"
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Posted: Tue Dec 18, 2012 6:08 pm
Nuru just... stared. His tail finally fell dead stiff as the black disgusted feelings oozed through him like some incurable sickness. He didn't understand again. Just when he thought he did - Zar went and denied /ever/ feeling anything, "Y... y'never felt annehthing foa me?... Evah?..."
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Posted: Tue Dec 18, 2012 6:24 pm
"I don't know. By not knowing how to define love, I cannot accurately tell if I did or did not love you. I must have felt something or assumed that I did to have said it in the first place. It was not something I had to say to sleep with you." He tapped his chin with a claw.
He gave him an almost haunted look. "I feel like.. I'm distant."
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