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 Posted: Sat Dec 08, 2012 9:41 am
Whilst not part of Islamic practice per se, yet, arranged marriage has been and remains common in parts of dar al-Islam. How do you feel about it?
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Posted: Thu Feb 21, 2013 8:30 am
It's okay as long as the parents trust their in-law-gonna-be is a good, have faith, could afford having family, and ready to commit.
Anyway, we always have choice whether to agree or disagree. smile
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Posted: Sat Mar 16, 2013 12:05 pm
If you ask me, it's very safe! Doing Istikhaara is even better! biggrin
In my opinion, when arranging a marriage, the parents and family members, and the person getting married, must have open minds. At times the parents don't listen to their child and marry her/him to somebody they don't wish to marry (I hate that type of arranged marriage..not asking the child and marrying him/her somewhere..)
But, anyway, I'd prefer arranged marriage because those with more experience are arranging it and you can decline whenever you want to as well. At least that's what happens in my family. My parents receive the proposal, they think over it and ask the one who it is for (and siblings as well, if they want to) and if the child declines, then done! (S)he isn't going to get married to that person!
^_^ That's why I'd prefer arranges marriages. Your parents know what's best for you and it usually turns out nice (Alhamdulillah! whee )
And other than that, I think the married life is more interesting. The way the bond between the husband and wife develops and other stuff.. I'd prefer that smile
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Posted: Sat Apr 13, 2013 3:03 am
Wow, I'm so jealous! I'm not from a culture where arranged marriages ever happen. Even influencing the marriage choices of one's children in subtle ways is considered very dishonorable. In my culture we are supposed to aggressively date from age 15 through 35 so that by the time we are of marriageable age (around 35) we have found the most perfect person possible and are really good at being a good partner from all that practice. The whole idea behind this is that it is thought to be the best protection we can give to our children because it ensures they are born into the most harmonious marriage possible. but It's so much pressure, & certainly not the only good way of ensuring children are born into a very harmonious marriage. I'm 25 so I've had several serious relationships by now. every time I have to break up with them it really hurts. My father is my hero, my best friend, a tremendously successful professional & a very well-respected member of my community. I bet he could do a better job of finding me a husband than I could. I bet I'll be as wise as him by the time I'm of marriageable age, but in the meantime I have to keep walking through this world alone. I love my culture, don't get me wrong, I just totally love your culture as well. biggrin
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Posted: Thu Apr 18, 2013 7:56 pm
Lady Madelina If you ask me, it's very safe! Doing Istikhaara is even better! biggrin In my opinion, when arranging a marriage, the parents and family members, and the person getting married, must have open minds. At times the parents don't listen to their child and marry her/him to somebody they don't wish to marry (I hate that type of arranged marriage..not asking the child and marrying him/her somewhere..) But, anyway, I'd prefer arranged marriage because those with more experience are arranging it and you can decline whenever you want to as well. At least that's what happens in my family. My parents receive the proposal, they think over it and ask the one who it is for (and siblings as well, if they want to) and if the child declines, then done! (S)he isn't going to get married to that person! ^_^ That's why I'd prefer arranges marriages. Your parents know what's best for you and it usually turns out nice (Alhamdulillah! whee ) And other than that, I think the married life is more interesting. The way the bond between the husband and wife develops and other stuff.. I'd prefer that smile That bond developing between the husband and wife that you speak of seems so important to me sometimes. I miss my man. I had that love with him for a while. We thought we were smarter than everyone else so we could both choose each other without our parents's help and pretend we were like husband & wife at only 25 & 21 years old. We didn't marry or have kids of course, just share income and make long term plans together like cultural wisdom says we were too young to do with prudence. Cultural wisdom was smarter than us here. Sometimes I think the high American single-parent-hood rate is because we are wrong to value independence so much that we utterly reject the value of that kind of relationship, which has dominated human society since time began. Churches help us experiance that kind of un-conditional love, yet Everyone still intensly craves that kind of bond before they are in their 30's (marriageable age here) so all the weaker people just marry or have kids too early instead of being strong enough to live without that bond except via religion until they are old enough to choose their spouse wisely without any help from parents etc. If you look at the most detailed statistics (I was an economics major) the incidence of american childhood poverty is almost entirely correlated with the incidence of young single-mother-hood. It's an epidemic. What is Istikhaara?
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Posted: Wed Oct 02, 2013 8:39 pm
I prefer an arranged marriage, but sadly I don't live in a culture that believes in it. I find it as being safe and stable.
Plus, I would totally trust my parents to find me a man that I would end up loving.
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Posted: Fri Oct 04, 2013 8:17 am
I talked to a woman in my GED class who got married at 16 and she told me it was an arranged marriage. But she's happy so I don't judge. It seems strange to me though. But as long as the couple is happy and love each other, it's fine by me smile
I have a question:
Do couples who are in an arranged marriage love each other or know anything about each other?
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Posted: Fri Oct 04, 2013 9:04 am
AspieBookworm I talked to a woman in my GED class who got married at 16 and she told me it was an arranged marriage. But she's happy so I don't judge. It seems strange to me though. But as long as the couple is happy and love each other, it's fine by me smile I have a question: Do couples who are in an arranged marriage love each other or know anything about each other? Salaam. That is a matter of particulars, young lady. In some cases, it may come to pass that a couple knows nothing of one another. Yet, in other cases, they may know one another extremely well. It depends upon their own circumstances. Since divorce is permitted in Islam, a loveless marriage may be immediately canceled by either party if they deign it necessary. Allah knows best.
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Posted: Fri Oct 04, 2013 9:07 am
Thorn apple AspieBookworm I talked to a woman in my GED class who got married at 16 and she told me it was an arranged marriage. But she's happy so I don't judge. It seems strange to me though. But as long as the couple is happy and love each other, it's fine by me smile I have a question: Do couples who are in an arranged marriage love each other or know anything about each other? Salaam. That is a matter of particulars, young lady. In some cases, it may come to pass that a couple knows nothing of one another. Yet, in other cases, they may know one another extremely well. It depends upon their own circumstances. Since divorce is permitted in Islam, a loveless marriage may be immediately canceled by either party if they deign it necessary. Allah knows best. I see smile I hope I wasn't seeming rude to you. I'm not Muslim but I'm researching the religion. So if I was rude, I'm sorry.
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Posted: Fri Oct 04, 2013 9:12 am
AspieBookworm Thorn apple AspieBookworm I talked to a woman in my GED class who got married at 16 and she told me it was an arranged marriage. But she's happy so I don't judge. It seems strange to me though. But as long as the couple is happy and love each other, it's fine by me smile I have a question: Do couples who are in an arranged marriage love each other or know anything about each other? Salaam. That is a matter of particulars, young lady. In some cases, it may come to pass that a couple knows nothing of one another. Yet, in other cases, they may know one another extremely well. It depends upon their own circumstances. Since divorce is permitted in Islam, a loveless marriage may be immediately canceled by either party if they deign it necessary. Allah knows best. I see smile I hope I wasn't seeming rude to you. I'm not Muslim but I'm researching the religion. So if I was rude, I'm sorry. You have done no wrong,
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Posted: Mon Nov 18, 2013 1:28 pm
I don't understand the concept of arranged marriages much, and I don't agree with any forced marriage where neither couple like one another.
Thank God I am married, and being a convert, I chose my husband myself (or God chose him for me? whee )
I wouldn't arrange my children's marriage, if we have any, but I wouldn't agree to them dating beforehand.
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Posted: Mon Nov 18, 2013 7:40 pm
-sephyrie- I don't understand the concept of arranged marriages much, and I don't agree with any forced marriage where neither couple like one another. Thank God I am married, and being a convert, I chose my husband myself (or God chose him for me? whee ) I wouldn't arrange my children's marriage, if we have any, but I wouldn't agree to them dating beforehand. It is impermissible in Islam to force someone into marriage.
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Posted: Sat Jun 14, 2014 5:18 pm
I have mixed feelings about the arranged marriage - long as the two people that's being in this situation has the freedom choice of agreeing or not to agree with it then I think it's fine but if it's being forced and if it's happening at a very young age then that's when I'll say no I don't agree with it.
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Posted: Wed May 06, 2015 8:53 am
Mixed feelings. My parents were forced into an arranged marriage, and in the beginning it wasn't all-too good. Myself, I'd like to meet people myself, but it'd be completely fine if my parents introduce me to a guy who could be a possible husband for me. As long as it isn't forced, it's fine.
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Posted: Tue Oct 13, 2015 10:07 pm
jeez. seems not alot of people go with Arranged Marriage
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