Soooooo I never really realized it until now but I think I might have like a serious problem. Either I have one or I really am going insane or everyone is like this, so please let me know what you think and/or how you feel about it.

So all of my life I have been getting really nervous over small things or things that involve common sense in fear that I might screw it up? It's something that kinda creeps up on me. Driving is a perfect example. Every time I get into a car and I am in the drivers seat I get pretty nervous and when it's over it was kinda like a battle. Sometimes I am completely fine and sometimes It's pretty bad especially if someone is there with me because I feel like their life is in my hands. I feel like productivity really helps with the nervousness and gives me more confidence (Such as a hard days work). There are times when I feel super confident and it's not there at all. I love my job doing hard labor. I feel like if I worked at a grocery store or something like target I wouldn't be able to do it whereas most people are the complete opposite and wouldn't like the work I do. It could be a crowd thing... would also explain the whole driving thing due to crazy PA drivers.

Happens at public places... I kinda feel like everyone is watching me or something? I donno, it's weird. I am pretty normal about it I mean I don't freak out or anything. I am not noticeably nervous but it's just like a feeling in my chest. It can be compared to a light anxiety. When I get home I feel like a zillion times better just being by myself, studying, writing, drawing, playing a game, whatever.

I feel like an a*****e sometimes because I don't want anything to do with my family at times. Donno what the hell my deal is. I love my family but I don't really talk to em' much or feel the need to. Pretty sheltered yo. It hit me today how much I neglect them unintentionally and I felt like s**t all day. I guess this is unrelated but could have something to do with it.

So I am just getting everything out on the table pretty much because I pushed it to the back of my mind my entire life annnnnd I was just wondering if anyone else felt like this or if you knowww something.... yeahhhh... idk

For the sake of the rant room - (Extra bullshit)

This is besides the point, but for the sake of the rant room: I can hear practically everything in this house and my brother is like a sloth and takes nine hours to do everything from washing his hands to constantly blowing his nose in the bathroom for some reason. I can also hear his foot steps downstairs because he won't take his boots off and it's like twelve at night, so I am about to seriously just walk downstairs and uppercut him mortal kombat style. rofl Like fatality the s**t out of him.