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[Q] Fayelee Aviar the Succubus - (READY/Crits! please. c:)

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Vella Raptor

PostPosted: Fri Nov 30, 2012 11:45 pm


AMITYVILLE ACADEMY ENROLLMENT FORM


Name: Fayelee Aviar
Nicknames: Fay
Gender: Female
Age: 17
Faction: Demon
Race: Succubus

Personality: Her kind relies on prodding the inner workings of their victim's minds to "become" the perfect partner, learning through touch and sealing their fate with a kiss. Once the victim is taken over by the kiss, they are either used for whatever purpose the succubi have in mind.

Fayelee herself is a quiet girl who avoids contact of any kind due to this. She is contented to sit in the background and listen without active involvement (but dislikes being alone all together) and certainly is never the center of attention.

She does love learning and helping others, and once she's become an upperclassmen she hopes to become a tutor for the younger students. For now, she's happy with helping other students with their homework, or letting them copy it.

Fay can be a doormat. She's so afraid of the natural talents her kind possess that she's nearly destroyed her self respect and become almost an anti-succubi. She doesn't have the word "no" in her vocabulary at all, simply out of her own paranoia.
Want lunch made? Fay will do it! Need to have a report written? Don't worry, Fay is good at that and she likes it, just give it to her.

Despite that, Fay still tries to be a good person, and to others she is always optimistic and supportive.

Why are they enrolled in Amityville Academy? Fay enrolled with the intention of breaking herself out of her shell and meeting more like herself. She also wants to learn more about her abilities and herself so that one day she might be able to touch without consequence.

Natural Ability: Mind "Reading"
Through touch, she is able to know about a person's interests and what they look for in a partner.

FEAR Ability: Support // 'The Barrier' // Enthrall
Fay can try to use her touch on an ally to help them push past any doubts or damage for a short time. It is much more difficult to manifest this for use on herself than other allies.
PostPosted: Fri Nov 30, 2012 11:50 pm


Physical Description


Eye Colour: Hazel

Hair Colour/Style: Down to mid-back and curls at the end. Dark brown hair, lightens to dirty blonde slightly as it goes down.

Skin Colour: Very pale! Almost gray-ish.

Clothing Style/Colours: Artists, draw her in whatever you think is appropriate. Will edit with an outfit later. c:

Extra: Stereotypical succubus look, just a bit stunted. Short, straight black horns just above her ears, two very small bat-like wings protruding from her lower back, and a short wedge-tipped tail.
Her "true" form is only visible through reflections (or, perhaps, when viewed though things like glasses/intoxication/other things that alter perception except with the skull item at school). It is ugly, almost mummified in appearance with colorless skin, claw-like hands/feet, no hair, and a disfigured face.
Physique wise, she's pear-shaped. She's in between flat chested and average with a petite figure, but wide womanly birthing hips and some graced with a smidgen of junk in her trunk lululul.

References: Headshot - Feature Size Reference

Vella Raptor


Vella Raptor

PostPosted: Sat Dec 01, 2012 12:05 am


Just in case, for art or whatever. c:
PostPosted: Sat Dec 01, 2012 1:18 pm


It looks like you have a really good idea for what you want our of your ghoulie, and I think you're very consistent with your traits reflecting natural things based on her ability set you have going.

To help with a FEAR attack, it'd probably help out a lot to look at the FEAR guide and see what kind of effect you like the most.

Based on the lack of backing mythos for this 'update' in the siren, as well as her natural skill set (which based on how much 'get in the head' it has, seems to better suit a demon), your girl sounds like she might be better suited to be some variety of a succubus?

Because what you're going for is very solid, I'm just not sure if a different 'sect' for that dramatic of a change in the shop-established canon for Sirens (not saying there isn't wiggle room, but this sounds like a completely different species) will be enough explanation.

It should also be noted either way that Halloween has rules against actually 'devouring' humans.

demon_pachabel

Beloved Werewolf


Vella Raptor

PostPosted: Sat Dec 01, 2012 5:02 pm


demon_pachabel
It looks like you have a really good idea for what you want our of your ghoulie, and I think you're very consistent with your traits reflecting natural things based on her ability set you have going.

To help with a FEAR attack, it'd probably help out a lot to look at the FEAR guide and see what kind of effect you like the most.


Oh, I completely missed that guide! I'll go read it and adjust what I'm looking for.

demon_pachabel
Based on the lack of backing mythos for this 'update' in the siren, as well as her natural skill set (which based on how much 'get in the head' it has, seems to better suit a demon), your girl sounds like she might be better suited to be some variety of a succubus?

Because what you're going for is very solid, I'm just not sure if a different 'sect' for that dramatic of a change in the shop-established canon for Sirens (not saying there isn't wiggle room, but this sounds like a completely different species) will be enough explanation.


Hmmm good point!
My idea is derived from sci fi shows and creature features I watch which tend to have the Siren use voice though not so much as a traditional siren does and more like an aid.
I do like the idea of a succubus though! (To be honest it didn't even cross my mind!) It fits much better and does make more sense to tweak that than to change a siren all together. c:


demon_pachabel
It should also be noted either way that Halloween has rules against actually 'devouring' humans.


Fixed!

Thanks for the critique so much! I'll get to work on making her more solid. c:
PostPosted: Sun Dec 02, 2012 4:44 pm


She sounds really solid! I like that you haven't made her the traditional super sexy seductress trope that most Succubi in lore fall into! I can't wait to see her played!

Carhop Cavalier

Familiar Teenager


Vella Raptor

PostPosted: Sun Dec 02, 2012 6:01 pm


Carhop Calvalier
She sounds really solid! I like that you haven't made her the traditional super sexy seductress trope that most Succubi in lore fall into! I can't wait to see her played!


Thank you! > u<
PostPosted: Thu Dec 06, 2012 10:18 pm


Settled on a FEAR, huzzah!

Vella Raptor

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