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Tunnelsnake attack, an apprentice with her hands burned, and a new set of glasses later, Alina made her way to Berecks infirmary. Te infirmary? To her mind, any infirmary with the older healer in it could be considered 'his'. Even with him owning the place, it felt... odd. Awkward, even.

She'd met him, Aleck, Bereck's son. It didn't sit right to think of him as 'hers'; Alina never laid eyes on the boy before. When she went into labor, she already had some fellis in her, so there was the pang of the first contractions, more dosing, then a single cry before the midwife swept the baby away. Alina remembered mumbling the name she chose - Aleck - when informed the baby was a boy instead of a girl. She would have been named Erena.

His nameday, too, she remembered his nameday. She wrote him a letter every turn and burned the letter from the previous year. Over time, it grew to several pages long. She had it tucked into one of her pockets hidden under a handkerchief. Bereck's letter, nearly twenty-one turns old on soft cloth, was inside of her other pocket. She came to give him his letter.

Alina didn't know why she brough Alecks.

"Ber?" The Starcrafter called, hesitant more than usual, her steps soft. Even with the infirmary more busy than usual - blasted tunnelsnake - they at least kept bereck somewhere relatively quiet, away from the main hustle and bustle. "You awake? ... Alone?"

Despite any worries, his tone had her smiling. She rounded in on the thin healer, a chair from another cot in tow. She settled it down next to Bereck's bed and flopped down, her fingers curling together with mild nerves.

"As adorable as the firelizards are, I'm not counting them, dear." Alina smiled and scooted even closer than before. She reached out and touched his not-smoothing hand gently. "I'm sorry I haven't visited sooner. The fire, it kind of threw me off."

She'd seen her son.

"See? Back on your way to being mighty Bereck quicker than you thought." Alina turned her hand to thread her fingers through his. She rubbed her thumb over his skin, eyes hooded in thought. "I'd hoped you were busy, honestly."

She hesitated with his question, eyes going down to their intertwined hands. "I've been thinking?" The offer is quiet, and Alina peeks up to her Healer man. "Aleck. What happened?"

Oh. Oh. Some of the apprehension faded away when he continued to smile, when those laugh lines appeared at his eyes instead of the scowl ones around his mouth. She didn't scramble onto the bed quite too eagerly, settling down against him with a low, pleased noise.

The starcrafter turned, willing to not question the imperfect nature of it just yet. There were arms out and hers returning the embrace. Alina slouched to push her face into his neck, eyes closed. "Are you comfortable telling me what he said about me?"

Alina burrowed against him more. Her fingers curled in his shirt in an unconcious effort to keep the silly man close, even though he said things were awesome and could be okay again. She squeezed back, leaned closer, and edged one leg up so it could drape over his.

"Because I didn't come back after he was born?" Her eyebrows went up against his skin and the Starcrafter didn't look up. "I don't suppose any child would want to hear the fact they should have been born addicted to fellis because every time they moved their mother went into hysterical fits. ... Thank you, though. For not telling him."

Those days were long behind them. They didn't have to think about them anymore if they didn't want to and she most certainly didn't want to. She hugged Bereck instead, again. "D'you know that's the first time I ever saw him? I heard him scream, once, when he was born and that was it. Much too out of it to try and look and I certainly didn't want to see what had been inside of me."

She shuddered and hugged him again, tighter than before. "Love you too, Ber. And I understand. I do. But he won't... he won't change his mind, do you think? It'd be much too cruel to, to talk about this and then..." Alina shook her head and nudged ihs foot with hers.

People who said 'birth is a miracle' and 'it's different once it's yours' apparently never thought the visual of a small foot pushing up against their skin to be terrifying, or the feel of another body moving against their stomach - literally, the organ - as something horribly traumatic. She had. The first time she felt that little swish of infant in her, Alina screamed and ran into the infirmary in a panic, face still smudged from work and in her crafting clothes.

She shuddered again and nodded, leg tightening to drag herself against him; any more and she would be half on him. One hand dislodged itself to bury into her pocket, back arching to pull it free, but the worn yellowed message to him came out. She put it onto his chest where all letters ought to be, pushed it higher up towards his chin with the tips of her fingers.

"Wrote that before I knew about Aleck. Couldn't throw it out even after and... now you're here and it's yours. I figured I could finally give it to you, twenty turns later." The words were muffled, low, and on opening, the letter is written in her cramped handwriting, though it is legible, odd for her sort of style.

To anyone used to seeing her writing, it's clear the letter likely was written several times as there are no smudges, no ink spots, the words are all very precise and clear, and definitely nothing scratched out. This letter was to be a final draft.

Alina latched on to him in a way she would deny if brought up any time after this. Hysterical baby movements aside, those six months had her and bereck talking again and he kept her sane. She hated babies and pregnancies, and her avoidance was only partially due to the sticky hands or crying or diapers.

"I didn't mean to upset you." Alina jerked slightly at the first 'Always', head tilting up to look at him. Her hand slid up to press over top of Berecks on his chest, fingertips petting gently against him. "I didn't want you to find it in my rooms one day or have to see it every time I opened up the drawer. It's... yours, I guess. You're the only one getting it, anyway. Probably going to burn Alecks."

She huffed a laugh and moved up a bit to look over at him, head tilting to press her forehead to his temple.

She actually squeaked when his arm tightened. Alina hugged back, head tilted up to kiss back. Another little tug and Alina sighed in contentment, regardless of the slightly tense emotional moment. It was okay, really. All of it. The upset, the angry, the past. That was all right and Bereck said his words and... yes. The healer was always so much better with words than she was.

"I love you too," she tilted her head, kissed the corner of his mouth even as he passed the letter to Sanguine. She responded to each mutter with another soft kiss, her chin cocking up to kiss his temple. "And it's only ever been you, Ber. Just you. Everything is alright, sweetheart. Shh."

Odd, how they went from the one being comforted to the comforting. It worked in its own awkward, meandering way. She enjoyed that as much as she enjoyed his arms tightening around her and she draped in against him, arms around his shoulders.

"Aleck's okay with this, you're feeling better. I'm here. See?"