Ami wasn't sure what to do with it. The fabric just hung there like a fish on a line. It could have looked like a normal jacket to anyone else.

Yet for Ami it was an enormous predicament. She couldn't wear the jacket anywhere, people might recognize it. She couldn't return it, it would be the ultimate surrender. Dragging her tail between her legs with another "I'm Sorry" present was just out of the question. He was the one who owed an apology. He'd pushed her buttons and he'd pushed too hard. She was only made of so much before she crashed. Had she been tired at the time? Perhaps. It was no excuse.

Her hands moved lethargically under her pillow as she readjusted herself in bed yet again. Her eyes didn't leave the jacket hanging casually on her doorknob, as though it owned the place. As though it was here for keeps.

"Stupid thing," Ami muttered, pressing her nose into her pillow. More insults came to mind. "Atrocious, flagrant, monstrous thing."

Though she would never admit it, the nap had felt good. Better than research, better than cracking the spine of an old book in the libraries as she piled on more and more work. At what point had she stopped sleeping? It must have been after the horsemen trials.

That wasn't quite right though. She hadn't stopped sleeping at any one point. She'd always been a light sleep, occasionally insomniac on nights before the stressful big test or the long all-nighter cross referencing paper.

Not like this though. The island had warped her mind completely, leaving nothing but deep crevasses in what used to be small grooves. If it wasn't stress-induced insomnia, it was nightmares plaguing her thoughts left and right. Unlike the other hunters, Ami didn't have anyone whispering comforts in her mind when she was scared. There was no level voice to make a joke about the situation. Ami would simply toss and turn, hug a pillow maybe.

She was so beyond crying. She'd cried herself out long ago, to the point where Ami wondered if there was any water left in her body at all.

She stretched in her bed one more time, freeing her stiff muscles from the lethargy of a deep sleep. Whether she liked it or not, she had to get back to work. Always working. Ami looked over at her tiny calendar. Dates hadn't meant much to her lately, but she was curious now. How long had she been here at Deus? How long had it been since Christmas? Her Birthday? Did her proposed wedding day pass?

Fingers curled around the tiny calendar, flipping through. She stared at a particular date in June, and then shook her head, moving past it. No matter now. It wasn't December yet? The air certainly felt frigid enough for it. The 11th- that was her birthday. Still not 21. She gaped as she realized just how much time had passed. Almost a year now. Where had that time gone?

She wished she could pin a date on how much time she had left. The calendar fell uselessly back to the nightstand. She was so sick of this cycle. She hated looking at everything like it was finite. She was so tired of wondering if she would hate herself more this day than the last.

Thoughts pivoted back to Lex. His actions baffled her. There was a likeness in his movements to Adam, but it was more than that. There was a light in his eyes, the curl to his smile. Flirtatious quips targeted to rile her up, undertoned with sweet actions like returning her files. It irritated her. Angered her even. It wasn't Adam, but she found herself drawn to him anyways. Was that Lex? Was that her own desperation? Something else?

Why had she slapped him? It was rude. Equivocally unladylike, and completely uncalled for. He was doing his job, maintaining the health of Deus. It was a simple request. Go to sleep. He hadn't deserved a slap for that.

She stood up, pushing the thoughts away. Her intention was to grab a book and put the idea out of her mind altogether, but her eyes traced themselves back to the jacket.

He didn't deserve the effort she was putting in for him. Ami's lips twitched into annoyance, and then her face fell flat in exhaustion. She was tired of hating people. Tired of boxing them out. She was safe and holding together because of it, but it was tiring. Maybe just with this one, she would forgive herself. Maybe just Tori. Maybe just Marcus.

Maybe just a stupid jacket.

A soft smile as her hands moved over the material. He had nice tastes, at least. Adam would have worn something cheaper. Fashionable, but lower quality. He had a knack for finding flattering pieces in thrift stores and vintage shops.

She would turn this around. She picked the jacket up and folded it neatly. Anything decorative on the island was sparse, so he would have to make due with the meager scraps she called hair ribbons. It was a simple bow, nothing elaborate. Just enough to keep it together so it actually looked like she'd tried.

The action made her smile. Wrapping Christmas presents, tying her own hair into braids. Simple actions that had carried over to the island. It made her happier, like she was still retaining a part of herself from the old world.

The happiness faded as she walked out the door. Confidence wavered. What if he was in? Would she have to apologize? Would he laugh in her face at the way she switched emotions so quickly? Hesitation. Panic.

No. No she wasn't doing this for Lex. It wasn't for him, it was for her. It was a chance for her to prove that she hadn't disappeared completely. That somewhere within her, a kindness still remained.

---

Lex would find the jacket placed carefully against his door, one part slightly wedged under the door like her research had been. No sentimental note attached. Nothing but the jacket.

Yet it was there nonetheless.