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 Posted: Wed Nov 14, 2012 2:22 pm
After sending off a final tweet, Sasha took a moment to think about what she hoped to accomplish with this. She'd promised Rin she wouldn't get involved, that she wouldn't white knight. In truth, she had no interest in starting a fight. If Rin had asked her to, Sasha would not have hesitated - but she hadn't, and so this visit was more personal than anything. Sasha had questions. She wanted answers. After debating for a long moment, Sasha brought out her phone and texted Rep, just as she'd promised. She could think of no place more private than her own dorm room.
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Posted: Wed Nov 14, 2012 2:44 pm
Rep eyed the text and wasn't entirely sure how to feel, it was ominous, an invite to her dorm, or at least what he assumed was her dorm.
<< You aren't helping you know. >>
He knew the fallen angel was right. They tended to think along similar lines these days. He had to go, there was nothing else for it. Even if it was about Rin, even if he had to resist with everything he had, the urge to summon the massive axe. He took his time. Getting changed into decent clothes rather than the usual jacket and denims he wore before he left, actually donning a t-shirt for a change that he found in someone else's drawer, a blue one, because his artifact earring was blue and why not.
When he could procrastinate no longer, he headed through the dormitories to her room, when he arrived, simply opening the door and inviting himself in. Hesitation would betray the anxiety he felt simmering below the surface.
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Posted: Wed Nov 14, 2012 3:05 pm
Shortly after sending the text, Sasha had made a quick dash to the cafeteria. She could already sense how awkward this could become, and she knew there would be a need for some sort of peace offering, even if it only meant that she could get answers to the questions she wanted to ask.
By the time Rep arrived, the hot chocolate she'd prepared (laxative free) had gone cold, but the mint chocolates that rested nearby (courtesy of Rin) were gleaming dully in the low lamplight of Sasha's room.
Sasha was on the sitting on the edge of the bed, legs crossed at the knee.
"A peace offering, for now," she grunted in clipped tones, gesturing with a hand. "You took your sweet time getting here, so the chocolate is cold - but the candy is for you - Rin gave it to me when I was in the infirmary. You can sit there," she jerked her chin upward, indicating the wooden chair that was pushed into the desk, "or you can stand, I don't care."
That being said, Sasha crossed her arms over her chest and fell silent. Waiting.
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Posted: Wed Nov 14, 2012 3:18 pm
Rep narrowed his eyes suspiciously as he took in the room, gaze lingering longer on the chocolates than anywhere else. Beware Greeks bearing gifts, that was the old saying wasn't it? Last time he'd taken hot chocolate from her it had been a good few hours of suffering as a result - that was the old Sasha - this b***h in front of him was another creature entirely. She might kill him or worse.
But it was chocolate, and that by definition made it hard to resist. Especially with his own supplies of the stuff almost entirely depleted.
He pushed it out of his thoughts for the time being, pulling out the chair and plunking himself down on it as if he owned the entire room. He might not have felt confident, but he'd be damned if he'd do anything other than look like he was. He picked up the chocolate and eyed it, it looked like Aero, something only Rin would know about, it prompted a sharp stab of guilt and he put it down. "Peace offering or poison? If its the latter, I'm disappointed in your efforts."
Eyeing her critically he decided to cut to the question that was on his mind. "Is this about Rin?"
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Posted: Wed Nov 14, 2012 3:51 pm
The instant he sat, Sasha rose to her feet.
"Poisoning you would be too easy - and you deserve to suffer."
Was this about Rin?
"Of course this is about Rin. Do you think I'd ******** invite you into my room for cocoa and chocolate?"
Sasha bared her teeth. She was trembling and it infuriated her - it was an outward sign of how much it was costing her not to lash out, not to rip him apart and lay him bare. She hated feeling a lack of control, hated the fact that she was so furious at him that she couldn't project that cool façade she favored. It wasn't the same sort of rage she felt when he'd beat her a**, when he'd lashed out with that knife. This was different.
He'd taken something he had no right to take, and she wanted to make sure he recognized it.
"You think this is a friendly visit, Rep? I just want to know what the ******** happened - and why it happened to her, of all ******** people."
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Posted: Wed Nov 14, 2012 4:32 pm
Rep kept his expression carefully blank and indifferent, it was hard, every single time Sasha spoke, it was as if the old dark anger in him longed to rise up and meet it. He couldn't afford it any longer, so he ignored it, soothing himself with the idea that there would still be vengeance, that this was merely a lull and penance for his own stupidity. "You were inviting me for a lot more than that last time we met." he crooned lasciviously.
"I'm surprised you haven't like, heard what happened already from her." He offered vaguely. "I mean, it wasn't complicated, it was just a ******** accident."
It was easier to be flippant, to put on an air of bravado and convince himself he didn't care and didn't feel what had happened. He was Rep, tough guy, people fell apart in spars, no big deal for him. He didn't dare touch that raw fissure of agony below the surface for fear if he did, it would crack him apart.
"I went to see her - I hadn't in a while - we were going to go for a walk, sparred instead, and then when it came to the charge..." he shrugged. "Sometimes something happens when I use my charge and it ******** hurts. I don't control it. That's all there was to it." He didn't think explaining the strange mental bleed between Tracey and himself would do anything for his credibility in terms of sanity, and was wary of giving Sasha potential ammunition to use against him if it turned out that sort of thing was a dangerous symptom.
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Posted: Wed Nov 14, 2012 4:50 pm
Sasha fought the urge to lunge at him. Instead, she was silent for a moment as she watched him, tip of her tongue idly playing at the scar that split her upper lip. Just being close to him like this was enough to make it hard to think past the utter black rage that rose in the back of her throat. Not rage over what he'd done to Rin, but the furious, passionate fury that only Rep seemed capable of invoking in her.
She was walking a thin line here, and Sasha recognized it.
"You took her ******** arm off, Rep. There's nothing simple about this situation! You took her arm! What if they put her down? She wields an axe, not something light like a sword or a dagger. Byr is an axe. The ******** were you doing using your charge on Rin? On Rin."
She took a step closer to him, and then another, slim fingers lifting to brush against the scar at her neck.
"I heard what happened. She said she would handle it herself - and I respect her enough to allow it."
Sasha leaned down - not too close, she already knew what those teeth felt like - so that she could look straight into his eyes.
"You're out of control, you do realize that, don't you?"
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Posted: Wed Nov 14, 2012 5:07 pm
Rep eyed her evenly as she reminded him of the severity of what he'd done. But there remained that fundamental disconnect between the surface confidence and his real emotions underneath. Mentally he was like a child, scolded for breaking an item they didn't really understand the value of and not sure of why it happened other than an impulsive action as real to them now as a dream after waking. It still felt like someone else had landed that charge, his life neatly compartmentalised into me now and me then for the sake of coping.
"I used a charge obviously because I wanted to win the spar, it would be a ******** insult to her if I invited her to fight and then went easy on her. I don't go easy on anyone. Especially not Rin." To him it was a disgusting accident but nothing more than that, no more his fault than someone being hit by some other errant stroke of bad luck. It was simply the fact that it was Rin, and she was hurt and in pain that he felt compelled to do anything in his power to help her, it wasn't guilt forcing him to do it, it was affection. Guilt, for the most part, was a bit of a mystery. "I wasn't expecting what happened, and crying about it now won't grow it back."
He met her gaze coldly, and for a moment there was a stir of panic in him, some deep voice that said she was right, that he was out of control and he knew it more than anyone. What did he stand to gain by lying about that? She couldn't use it against him.
"Aye. I know. I knew it before this, before the mission that got me cuffed, before even you. ********, I knew it before they recruited me." He smirked, that familiar cruel mask that he so often hid behind. "It was why I said yes."
He flippantly took a bite of the chocolate, what the hell really, if it was poisoned, it was poisoned. "Knowing doesn't mean I can fix it."
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Posted: Wed Nov 14, 2012 9:03 pm
"The part that I don't understand is," she took a few steps away and leaned against the wall, eyeing him with a look of disgust, "that she wouldn't let me come after you. Believe me, I offered - but then, I bet that doesn't surprise you." She shook her head and moved away from the wall, presenting him with her back in a somewhat dismissive gesture.
"You're a revolting, well-oiled machine, Rep. Everything about you is disgusting and vile, but you're good at what you do."
It wasn't a compliment, more of a resigned admittance, and Sasha waved a hand.
"None of that matters if you can't control yourself. You think you're so valuable that they won't shove you back in the pod, or worse? I understand that Suns are on the front line, but .. I don't even know what I'm doing right now. I don't know why this is so important to me. Maybe it's because I want to be the one to bring you down, I want to watch you writhe and suffer and beg for mercy - but I can't do that if you get yourself put to sleep like some worthless, mangy dog."
She glanced at him over her shoulder.
"You're no ******** use to me dead."
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Posted: Wed Nov 14, 2012 9:25 pm
Rep gave her a too-sweet little smile as he nodded. "Naw, it doesn't surprise me. What does surprise me is that you listened. Since when has she had a leash on you?" He couldn't keep the amusement out of his voice. "Someone clipped kitty's claws."
He was surprised at the comment on his efficiency. He took it as a compliment, assuming that was the only reason she would ever say something that ultimately, deep down, he didn't believe was true - a lie. He felt incompetent, forever running to keep up only to realise that he was simply catching up with people who had already run a lap ahead of him.
"I know I'm not valuable. Trust me. I've had the this is your last ******** chance no ******** kidding talk. Gun against my head more or less" His lips twisted back into that smirk but the amusement no longer reached his eyes. "I'd be dead right now if it wasn't for Killzone pleading my case. No one to plead it now though if I ******** up again." He wasn't sure why he was telling her even this much, it was potential ammunition, but he felt secure she couldn't use it against him without spoiling her own fun.
He picked up the mug and sipped it, even cold, it was bliss. "Put it like this, death's ******** inconvenient for either of us right now. I'd be ******** pissed if you went and let yourself die before I could break you properly. I have plans. Likewise I don't intend to go anywhere. I'm out of control, but I'm still steering."
His gaze flicked back to her. "I won't even give them cause to kill me over what I want to do to you, I'm not as ******** dumb as most people seem to think I am. Rin was a slip up, a mistake, collateral damage. It won't happen again."
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Posted: Sun Nov 18, 2012 9:03 am
You're valuable to me.
The words were there, tingling on her parted lips, rancid and bitter on her tongue. She'd never, ever admit such a thing, not to him - but they were ever present and there was no way to explain it without sounding weak and simpering and less than him on every level. It was not a fond emotion, not in the least, but Sasha felt almost as if she needed him - as if knowing that some sort of kindred, foul, revolting spirit existed on the island.
"She doesn't have a leash on me," Sasha hissed, her palm itching with the urge to connect hard with his cheek, "but we were captured together, tortured together." She bared her teeth slightly before uttering, "That sort of thing tends to bring people closer."
She was probably saying too much, but she knew that Rep wouldn't hurt Rin more than he already had.
"Still steering? Hardly. You have no control whatsoever - and considering how much I'm looking forward to utterly destroying you," her voice became a low purr, and she dared to take the steps necessary to bring her up close, "I would be so very upset to learn that you've gone off the tracks completely, taking matters out of both of our hands."
She wanted so badly to tear into him, rip him apart - unravel him until there was nothing left but all of his black, poison rage. Sasha's eyes dropped to her lips as her tongue pressed against the scar he'd left behind.
"I can't wait to undo you. Don't take this away from me."
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Posted: Sun Nov 18, 2012 9:25 am
Rep's gaze flicked from the mug to her as she mentioned the torture in the lair. Those not present only got to hear rumours and whispers of whatever could have gone on in those cells at best, and even those rumours didn't come close to touching the truth. "How touching. Brought together by ******** suffering." he said, his voice sharp with sarcasm. He smirked, but there was something almost jealous in the expression as he went on "And here I thought you'd be good at suffering torture alone without needing other people as a crutch, given your history. Did you get lazy?" Normally he didn't touch upon the past, all of it a minefield for both of them, but today there was something safe and yet dangerous in this room. An enforced ceasefire, a certain honesty wound in with the toxic hatred.
As she drew into his personal space, his posture seemed to reactively tense, remembering how she'd felt under him, how even that close he hadn't been able to pry into what defined and drove her. ******** women, even freed from them they still had a sort of control over him. "I'm going to have to disappoint you of course. But it's not going to be going off the rails and ruining the game that does it. It's just going to be me winning."
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Posted: Tue Nov 20, 2012 1:22 pm
There was a moment of disconnect where Sasha felt as if Rep were talking about someone else, someone weaker and feebler than the woman that stood before him now. After he asked her if she'd gotten lazy, Sasha heard nothing more. The words he'd spoken prior to that moment twisted languidly in her mind as she mulled them over, rolling each phrase over in her mind until each of them were well-seated in her thoughts.
Click.
She reached out with her hand, a slow, purposeful moment. A deceitful gentleness, overlaid by the steeliness with which she spoke. Her fingers shifted through the red hair at his right temple, an almost soothing gesture: maternal and deceptively sweet.
"You've suffered too, haven't you?" Her voice was soft, eerie. "We're so much alike, aren't we? We've suffered so much loss." Those slender fingers continued back towards his crown, slowly, softly. "It's no wonder you hate women so passionately, Rep. A mother who never loved you enough to hold tight," her fingers tightened in his hair, nails digging into his scalp as she fisted her fingers in those fiery red depths, "to her existence. Who was too weak to keep living."
She gave a sharp tug, intent on pulling his head back.
"Do you want to talk about this?" Her expression turned ugly, monstrous. "Shall we crawl inside of one another, discuss these things? Lay each other bare, here and now?" She pressed closer, teeth bared as she fought the urge to sink them into his neck, his jaw, his lips. "I want to be under your skin so badly, Rep. I want to know what makes you tick, and if you insist," she let into the urge, applied her teeth, grazed them along his ear, "on bringing up topics better left buried... who am I to deny you."
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Posted: Tue Nov 20, 2012 1:54 pm
There was a moment when it seemed like their civil façade was going to continue indefinitely, that they could pretend to be friends, pretend to be capable of tolerating one another, that somehow the hate would go away, would learn to coexist. But it only got deeper, slithered into his bones and became a part of him, a dependency.
He refused to pull away from her touch, even as it ran claws of icy revulsion along his spine, his hair always sensitive, it felt as if his scalp bristled under her hands, hot and cold goosebumps. But the revulsion this time ran deeper than any time before, redoubled as in a spike of intense self loathing, he felt some part of himself, some deep buried shard of a childhood he couldn't ignore reach out in need. He found himself wanting to lean into the contact like a scolded dog, her soft words unpicking the stitches of old wounds, stitches that held him together. There was a twisted masochism he'd carried all his life and for just a moment he realised he wanted to be broken, wanted to rebreak the bones to let them mend.
He was pathetic.
He felt sick, his stomach twisted into a snarl of nausea, she was close, much too close to the life pulse that sustained him, the artery of hatred and loathing that kept him moving. Even the pain of her nails cutting to his skin prompted no response, blank while his mind struggled to stop him from shattering, old damage control manoeuvres no longer as effective as they once were.
It was like he couldn't breathe, a tight strangling weight in his chest, his vision tinged by red. There were two people in his mind. One the snarling rattling creature of rage and anger, every thought, every facet of its being screaming that he should kill her - rend her asunder and paint this ******** room with her blood, rip out her tongue so she could never use words against him in that way again. And yet there was that other self, calm and cold and hollow, the thoughts that said she was right, the self that he hated, the self that blamed himself for his mother's death. As he warred with himself, he simply allowed himself to be passively dragged around in her hands, pliable, unresisting, withdrawn inside his own head, his eyes wide with shock.
Her teeth were at his ear and with a shiver his body was betraying him.
He set upon himself, let loose the chained restraint, let the anger win, let it tear out the throat of that weakness, that craving for love and acceptance, the boy who didn't understand. Rage always won, sibilant and seductive. Hurt them all before they can hurt you, burn down the world. His gaze sharply focused, narrowing at her as he seized her roughly, hands tightly clenched in fabric, nails on skin.
"My only ******** loss was ever making the mistake to trust women in the first place when you are all ******** alike. Every last one of you. No man would ever ******** waste his time. "
His grip on her shuddered with a mixture of revulsion and a barely checked desire to hurt her, to hurt her with more than words, to taste her, to know her, to destroy her from within.
"You would know all about weakness. You embody it"
All pretence of civility was gone as he bared his teeth barely an inch from her, close enough to bite, close enough to let this all begin again, his voice nothing but the words of the rage as he hissed.
"So dig. You will never know me."
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Posted: Tue Nov 20, 2012 4:23 pm
She grunted quietly when he reached out to pull her down to his level, the dig of his nails and fingers harsh against her skin. Sasha could feel every unforgiving inch of him, and she hated herself for the brief, brief moment that she allowed herself to enjoy it. He'd gone from pliable and quiet to monstrous in a quick second, and Sasha wanted to further explore that, to exploit whatever emotions he kept tightly chained. The hard press of his body against her softer curves - the energy that thrummed between them, vile and wretched - Sasha ignored it as best she could, despite how badly she ached to bring him down.
His body couldn't lie. She found satisfaction in that, there was no denying it. It might be purely hate-based, this carnal surge, but it was exciting. His control over himself at that moment was nearly awe-inspiring. Sasha wanted to break it, snap it, crush it until there was nothing left of it.
"I'm nothing like the b***h that whelped you, William. I've never, ever hidden from you. I seek you out - I thrive on your hate. Weakness?"
Her fingers tightened in his soft, long hair.
"There is nothing - nothing - weak about me. You should know better than that. And we both know I don't have to dig - because I know you, Rep. I know you too well."
She dipped her head, pressed her lips to the crescent-scars that bracketed his neck, pulling away quickly. She could still remember the way those teeth felt against her lips - and she would never forget it. The scar she bore would be a constant reminder. Flirting with a toothsome, ravenous beast. One had to be careful, fleeting.
"You," she released his hair, ready to fight back if he came at her with his teeth, "are the weak one. Do I scare you, Rep? No," she pressed down slightly against him, a sick smile on her lips, "I don't think that's quite the right word for it, now is it?"
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