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 Posted: Sat Oct 06, 2012 9:33 pm
 "Because, Hasi, it was confusing feeling that way about my own sibling - and my brother, no less! You may enjoy it, but I didn't."
Dhoru was heading back to camp after taking a leisurely stroll among the jungle, as he so often did. He was arguing heatedly with his alternate personality, Hasi....as he so often did. It completely baffled him that she couldn't understand why he was happier now that she was more separate from him.The feelings she had for his brother, Jani, were not something he was inclined to feel, and he wasn't a fan of the lapses in his memory that he used to get when her side of his personality became dominant.
Ever since the old goddess had vanished, Hasi had become no more than a voice inside Dhorus head. He could hear her, and he always knew how she felt, but she no longer had any control over his mind or emotions. If he so chose, he could just ignore her now - but she didn't make it easy.
It just hurts a little to know that you're happier without me. What if I just totally vanished? Would you be even happier?
"Oh, Hasi," he sighed, "You know that isn't what I m-"
Dhoru stopped speaking abruptly as he returned to the camp. He had no problems speaking to Hasi with others around - everyone in his pride was familiar with insanity, and no one really took notice of him anymore aside from a few strange looks if his conversation got really intense; however, he had just caught sight of the prides lead Mummer, Nema, and she appeared to be talking to herself, a spectacle he had never seen before.
"I wonder..." he muttered, then raised his voice and called out, "Hey Nema! What are you doing?"
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Posted: Sun Oct 07, 2012 10:14 am
 'No, I don't think staying up all day is a good idea. Have you forgotten that I was up all night?'A small pause filled the air, before the lioness quickly jumped back into her nagging routine. 'Well I don't care if you want to chase the butterflies! Maybe you should just chase the fireflies, ITS THE SAME DARN THING!' Her voice grew louder, and her face grew more upset the longer she argued. 'Well if all you're worried about is color - just pret-'Nema's words caught in her throat as she heard a voice calling to her. It was unfamiliar to her, though somehow it knew her name. Obviously it couldn't be one of her family members ... she knew their voices by heart. Quickly turning to face the mysterious voice, she realized she did partially know the face. It was a lion she'd seen around the pride before, though she couldn't place whether she'd ever actually spoken with him before. "Huh, me? Oh I was just talking to myself, making mental notes and things like that!" Replacing her shocked face, with something a little more unnatural she tried to hide her insecurities behind a smile. But she knew it wasn't very effective, she'd never been all that great at hiding her secrets.
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Posted: Sun Oct 07, 2012 8:48 pm
Dhoru was fairly certain that something was up with the Mummer. Although he'd never actually spoken to her, he knew who she was by reputation, and that reputation had a lot to say. Rather than being unnerved by the rumors, Dhoru was actually intrigued - he hadn't yet met another pride member with an extra person or two inside them. He'd wanted to meet Nema personally ever since he'd heard about their common trait.
"You know, I talk to myself sometimes too," he stated casually. He wanted to broach the subject of her "imaginary" family, but he wasn't sure how since he wasn't entirely certain that they even existed...or rather, if Nema even thought they existed. He turned his head to survey the main camp, pretending that the conversation wasn't overly interesting to him. "I can tell some people think I'm odd, but it's completely normal to me." He turned to face Nema again. "My name's Dhoruba Kali, by the way. You can call me Dhoru."
Dhoru watched Nema closely, trying to detect any body language or facial expression that might give some hint as to what she was thinking.
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Posted: Tue Oct 09, 2012 4:42 pm
So someone was on to her huh? She had to admit, at least to herself, that it wasn't much of a surprise. The newer members of the pride liked to think of her as amusing, an act of sorts. They came bearing fancy items in hopes of catching a good show. It was rather embarrassing, and infuriating! But what was she to do? She wasn't the violent type at all, and there were at least a few lions still roaming these lands who could understand her troubles. She would simply have to deal, as she had been doing her entire life. This male however, didn't seem like the other show-seekers. It was like he had an actual interest in her abilities. The thought sent a jolt of happiness through her body that projected itself as a wag of her tail. "It is normal isn't it? I've never known anything else ..." She allowed herself a frail smile, still trying to measure the intentions of the male. With the introduction of his name however, things began to become clearer. While she'd never spoken with him before, she did remember him from before the lifting. He was very similar to her, obviously he still retained a portion of his pre lifting condition. "I suppose you already know mine, but for good measure, its Nema!" Her childish pep was returning as the sun got lower in the sky. Soon her friends would return, but for now, she didn't see the problem with making another! "So Dhoru, what exactly do you mean you talk to yourself? Like making mental notes? Or something a little deeper?
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Posted: Wed Oct 10, 2012 9:05 am
The wag of her tail and her shy smile were very endearing, and Dhoru found himself smiling back. Rather than seeing her as interesting just because of the similarity they shared, Dhoru noticed for the first time how beautiful this lioness was - her bold markings, vivid colors, and lithe but powerful body. He began to have strange feelings; feelings that he had never felt before, but that were vaguely familiar to him...as if...
He suddenly realized that Nema was looking at him, and remembered she had asked him a question. Based on her enthusiasm and lack of cold guardedness, Dhoru thought that the rumors were true - that Nema did talk to lions as he talked with Hasi. Taking a chance, he shook his head and cleared his throat.
"I do that as well, but what I was referring to isn't technically talking to myself. You see, before the lifting I had split personalities, and the other personality - her name is Hasi - was just as in control of my thoughts, feelings and actions as I am; however, since the lifting, she is now like a completely different person that no one can see and only I can hear inside my head. Which sometimes isn't such a good thing."
Dhoru chuckled softly as Hasi grumbled at him - "Well it's not always great being stuck in here! Did you ever think about that?" - and looked into Nemas eyes, hoping he wouldn't find what he feared - the cautious suspicion that he found in the gaze of most of the other pride cats. For some reason, this lioness' opinion of him really mattered to him. He held his breath as he waited for her response.
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Posted: Tue Oct 23, 2012 4:33 pm
For a moment, her words caught in her throat and she truly had no idea what to say. Here was a lion, validating her sanity, yet all she could do was stare at him like he was crazy. ONLY HE WASN'T! Scattering through her brain she tried to hush the many voices speaking in unison around her, some with friendly taunts, others with advice. But all she really needed was silence.
"I ... I think I know what you mean." She paused a moment, allowing Dhoru's words to sink in. He had definitely said them, that part she had not imagined. "My family has never taken over my body, but I see them, I hear them, and sometimes I smell them." Eyeing the invisible lions around her, she raised her paw towards Dhoru and whispered, "But don't repeat that, they tend to get offended easily." She giggled light heartedly realized she was no longer alone in the pride. The sudden realization made her all the more interested in hearing his story.
"Do you know how Hasi came to be, or has she always been with you? My family showed up shortly after I was cast out of my previous pride. But I think i'm better this way! Even when i'm at my lowest and think i'm all alone, there's always someone around to prove me wrong. Whether I want them to or not!"
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Posted: Tue Oct 23, 2012 7:31 pm
Dhoru could hardly believe his ears as Nema admitted to their unique quirk. Since the lifting, now that most lions in the pride were "normal", he had felt so completely alone. At first, lions had understood him and been happy for him, thinking that he had maintained his connection to his muse and was simply conversing with it; however, once he told them that that wasn't the case, they had started to treat him differently. He had often contemplated telling people that it was in fact his muse he was speaking to, if only to avoid the awkwardness.
But now, he had found another that shared his oddity almost exactly. He was excited, elated and stunned all at once. It had been too long to remember since he had felt not only tolerated, but fully accepted and maybe even liked by a lion that wasn't directly related to him. On top of that, this lioness was beautiful, with laughter that rang in his ears like birdsong.
Dhoru chuckled. "I understand what you mean entirely; sometimes it's great to know I'll never be alone, but sometimes I want to be alone and Hasi makes that impossible. As for how or when she came to be, I'm not entirely sure. Before the lifting, her presence was only known to me through blank spots in my memory or odd feelings, but I had no way to know what caused that. I honestly just thought there was something wrong with me. It wasn't until after the lifting that I became aware of her and we could communicate. Although..."
Dhoru's voice trailed off. Although he admitted that Hasi existed, he had never told anyone what he had been about to tell Nema - partially because it sounded even crazier than Hasi's presence already did, and partially because he didn't know how to make it make sense. Even though Nema and he had a lot in common, and even though he felt he could trust Nema, he was hesitant to divulge that his alternate personality had her own past, a past that was very different from his own.
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Posted: Fri Nov 02, 2012 8:07 pm
"Exactly!" Nema giggled, her eyes beginning to widen the more she learned of this new lion. Though she would be nervous to admit it to him, she felt as ease around him. She'd only ever felt at ease with one other lion, and he hadn't known about her secret. So this was a dozen times better! She could literally feel her heart beating in her chest as she listened to him explain his history with Hasi. It was quite interesting, not only to know that he could speak to someone who wasn't there, but also that that person had a past. Sure her family had a past, a past of making her life more trouble than she felt it was worth. But that was behind her now, she was a free-spirited successful lioness in a pride she truly admired, and her family was right by her side.
As Dhoru's thought began to trail off, Nema's interest reached its tipping point. The poor lioness clung to his every word, wondering what would come next. But then he just cut off completely! Her ears drooped as she pulled herself away from Dhoru, maybe he wasn't as comfortable around her, as she was with him? It was a sad thought, but she'd been let down before, she would simply have to move on.
"Its OK if you don't want to tell me. I know some things are more personal than others." She nodded, giving off a solemn tone. She reached over and gently patted his paw. Of course she would love to know his story, but if he wasn't prepared to tell it, she was OK with that too.
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Posted: Fri Nov 02, 2012 8:24 pm
As Nema back away from him, Dhoru's heart stalled with fear. He was worried that his hesitance had made her think different of him, and that was the last thing he wanted. When Nema layed her paw on his, his heart skipped a beat and he felt his face grow warm. Her touch had renewed his courage and he decided to explain. "It's not that it's personal, it's just that it might sound completely crazy. To me it makes perfect sense, but that's because I consider Hasi to be a separate person than myself. I don't think any other lions agree with that... Anyways, what I was going to say was, Hasi has told me about her own past; about her mother trying to take her siblings and her away from an abusive father, but he caught them and flew into a rage. She says that she escaped and was eventually found by my mother, but she doesn't know if any of her family is still even alive. It's very sad, but at least she found safety within our pride."After he finished speaking, Dhoru was surprised to find that he didn't feel nervous about how Nema would react. He felt confident that she would understand, and that she wouldn't judge him like most other lions did. As he waited for her to respond, he couldn't help hoping that the two of them would form a strong bond; he had never met anyone like Nema, and he couldn't imagine not being friends with her.
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Posted: Fri Nov 02, 2012 8:35 pm
She couldn't say she wasn't taken off guard by Dhoru's story. Though she had been expecting something really neat, this was a stretch for even her imagination! Though that wasn't to say she felt it was strange, or in any way a terrible thing. She understood it, even though in some ways she couldn't relate. Her family all had stories of their own, though she did not share a body with any of them.
Throughout his quick bout of storytelling Nema managed to keep her face neutral, void of emotion so as not to pass an accidental judgement. But now that the story was over, she took a deep breath and stared Dhoru right in the eye.
"What's so crazy about that?" Was all she could muster as she looked at him, with her head tilted to the side in confusion.
"I don't know if you'll agree, but it sounds like Hasi is a strong lioness. I'd be honored if I were to ever meet her." FInally breaking her sincere gaze, she offered a soft smile instead as she took a step closer to the male. "Have you ever thought of looking for her parents? They might be around somewhere, and it might make Hasi feel better..."
Of course Nema knew, or at least thought she knew, that Hasi's family didn't truly exist; but it wouldn't hurt Dhoru to ease some of Hasi's pain even for a short time. "I bet if they're really here the Queen would know, OH! I could ask Straw Dog - he's the Queen's mate. I once fell over him on the beach ... he's an old grump, but he owes me a favor!" No longer stuck on her more sincere attitude, Nema freely allowed her uncontrollable giggles to fill the air. Of course Dhoru wouldn't have a clue what she was laughing about, but she did, and she would gladly share if he ever had an interest in knowing.
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Posted: Sat Nov 03, 2012 8:49 am
When Nema responded, Dhoru let out a breath he hadn't even known he was holding in a sigh of relief. He was so happy that the lioness understood and accepted him; she even accepted Hasi! He almost bounced with joy when Nema suggested that she wanted to meet Hasi, even though he knew it wasn't really possible in the normal sense. He'd have to tell her what Hasi said, and not even he could see Hasi. As she continued, however, his happiness was tempered by uncertainty and he laid his ears back nervously.
"I've thought about it... but, honestly, the thought scares me a little. I'm fairly sure that Hasi's family doesn't even exist in our world, and even if do, I worry that they were... unable to escape her father." As he finished speaking, he noticed that Nema had broken into a fit of giggles. His eyes widened in surprise and his ears flicked forward with intrigue. Her giggles were very cute, and a little infectious. As a smile began to creep across his face, he asked, "What's so funny?
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Posted: Tue Nov 13, 2012 5:10 pm
"Hmmm, I suppose I could understand that, have you tried to tell Hasi that? I would hope she would understand your concern, and she might come around to your way of thinking .." Nema paused a moment, before quickly adding in, "Of course, I don't know Hasi, so please don't take my assumptions as heavily as they may sound." She smiled sweetly, batting her eyelashes at Dhoru before leaning towards him and whispering, "OK Hasi?" She could only hope she hadn't offended him with that step, but only time would tell her that. She was only trying to treat her as though she were really there, to give the lioness a sense of being, even if it wasn't a strong one. Noting that Dhoru had laid back his ears, Nema did the same, now openly worried that she had hurt his feelings in some way. "Oh I as thinking back to when I fell over Straw Dog at the beach. He's an older lion, and a real grouch! Instead of sleeping in dens like normal lions, he sleeps on the beach. One morning I was headed back to my den, and I sorta fell over him and ended up bottom up in the sand! It was pretty embarrassing! Apparently he used to be a war general for another pride, so I had to listen to a lecture about 'Knowing my surroundings,' before he would dig me out of the sand."
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Posted: Thu Nov 15, 2012 10:13 am
When Nema stepped close to him, Dhoru felt his face grow hot. Her proximity and the fact that she treated Hasi as an actual lioness flustered him - but in a good way. In a great way, in fact. He quickly stammered out, "N-no, of course not. No offense taken."
"I believe she was talking to me. But you're right, I'm not offended." As smug as she tried to sound, Dhoru could tell that Hasi was just as pleased as he was by Nema's actions. Which was saying something, because Hasi was almost never pleased. About anything.
Clearing his throat, Dhoru continued, "Hasi has never actually suggested going to find her family. I've always assumed it was for the same reasons that I've never suggested it - or, well, the one reason anyways. She's perfectly positive that her family is real.", he amended quickly, as Hasi snapped inside his head that her family was not imaginary.
After Nema told him about how she had tripped over Straw Dog, he couldn't help but laugh. He loved that even in the middle of a "serious" conversation, she could think of something humorous and laugh; the story was pretty funny, too. "I can definitely picture that happening. I don't envy you having to sit through one of those lectures!"
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Posted: Sun Dec 16, 2012 3:18 pm
For a moment, it seemed as though Nema were holding in her breath, and in fact she was. But filed with a sense of relief, she exhaled heavily at Dhoru and she supposed Hasi's words. It was good to know she hadn't overstepped any boundaries, but she feared that if that action hadn't overstepped them then something else migh. Snapped back to Dhoru's full attention once more, she nodded slowly at his explanation. She supposed it made sense that Hasi wouldn't want to look for them. Looking to further improve Hasi's mood, she chose to ignore Dhoru's previous comments. Choosing to believe that the family did still exist, if only for Hasi's benefit. "Well maybe its a very good thing she hasn't decided to look for them. I mean, what if she couldn't find them? I imagine that would be pretty painful for her..." It only took a moment for Nema's own flashbacks to begin, quick flashes of her parents and sister before she had been abandoned. "Yeah I think its a good idea she doesn't go looking. You're all the family she needs Dhoru, now you be sure to treat her like family!" Nema covered her smile with her paw, feeling a small blush building in her cheeks. "And believe me, you're lucky you didn't have to sit through it! He's a smart lion, but he's very authoritative."
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Posted: Mon Dec 17, 2012 8:34 am
"Exactly. She's been through enough already." Dhoru nodded slowly, his eyes somber as he involuntarily wondered how he would feel if his siblings and mother were.... He shook his head to clear the thoughts and continued. "Ever since I met her, I've treated her like family. I mean, she's basically a sister - she's been with me since birth, and she annoys me on a daily basis."
"Well, excuse me! You're not always a big ball of amazing yourself, Dhoru! In fact, you're lucky she can't hear me, because, boy, do I have stories to tell!" Hasi returned the taunt enthusiastically. A wide smile crossed Dhoru's face - not only from the teasing between the two, but because he could tell that Hasi was really warming up to Nema. Which made two lions in the entire pride that she was anything other than snarky towards.
This was such a rare occasion, that he decided - after making sure that Hasi didn't mind - he would let Nema in on the secret. "Before now, the only lion in the pride that Hasi has ever liked is my brother; but you've managed to make that grump take a liking to you. Honestly, I can't say I'm surprised, I mean you're- Uh..."
Dhoru cut off abruptly, and in doing so completely lost the end of his sentence. His face had never felt so warm. He was positive that Nema would be able to see it. Whatever he had been about to say, he thought that, for some reason, it would have offended Nema or made her uncomfortable. Apparently, his brain's solution was to throw the words from his memory so he couldn't say them, and leave him stuttering like a cub caught misbehaving.
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