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The event was over and they were finally heading back to her room. Parts of her would miss the festival but over all it was a relief to be somewhere quiet again. She didn't know just how much the noise and constant threat of people had worn on her until she was back in her room. She felt utterly exhausted.

It was Shun's hold that kept her upright, the lycan leaning into his embrace and wrapping her arms around him. Instantly she buried her face in his chest and finally made herself relax. There was no one here that would hurt her. She was safe in her room with her reaper.

Nodding slightly Mitsu finally peered up toward Shun as he pulled back and headed over to the hot plate he brought over. Maybe he was going to make the tea he had talked about making earlier.

For now Mitsu moved toward her bed and climb up on it to have a seat. The blankets were still a mess since she had fallen out of habit of making her bed but they made a rather nice little nest which she huddled in for the time being.

Holding out her hands for the tea Mitsu took it with a small nod of thanks and brought it close so that she could blow on the hot liquid. After letting it cool a little she took a small sip noting how this tea tasted much better.

Her gaze shifted to the laptop Shun had set on the bed and casually she flipped it open and let it start up and load. While it was doing that she turned back to her reaper, nodding again since it was about all she could do at the moment. The thought of going out again wasn't as frightening as it had been before but that didn't mean she didn't still dread the experience. It would be another trip out with the threat of attack.

She had continued to sip her tea in silence enjoying the peace and quiet. It helped to ease the tension she still felt that she had kept bottled up all this time. When Shun spoke again Mitsu's eyes crinkled slightly with a hint of amusement but it quickly faded with he hesitated to continue. 'But first' was a terrible lead in and Mitsu could feel the prickling sensation of discomfort around her brain.

Setting her tea aside on the night stand Mitsu focused on it as Shun dove into the conversation and what he wanted from her. She was suddenly uneasy all over again, her knees drawing up to her chest as she tried to find a way to feel safe where she currently was.

Tilting her head she looked toward her laptop, the screen up and ready just waiting for her to input a command. She was hesitant to move toward it but reached out to pull it closer and began to type. Her key strokes were slow like she was trying to think through her words carefully.

'I remember what happened and I kind of get sucked into the memories. Despite how I try I get trapped in thought. I don't know that its something that can be fixed.'

Again Mitsu hesitated, her fingers moving toward the keys before she drew them back. It was a struggle. She wanted to tell him but she felt so uneasy, like she should be ashamed. If she'd done better, thought things through a little more none of it would have ever happened. Where did she even begin in telling him? From the beginning? Just the end? All of it in one way or another had made an impact but not all of it had been as traumatic.

Curling up a bit she rested her face in her hands as she continued to think, wondering if telling him would really ease her mind. Could it be so simple?

Finally she pulled out of the ball she had wrapped herself in and began to type, pecking away at keys. 'I know you want me to be better. I'm trying. I want to be better but.' She hesitated before she continued. 'I don't feel the same as I did before. Something is off and I don't know what.'

Placing a hand against her chest she had that odd sensation like before. Like something was there that shouldn't be. It was uncomfortable, almost painful but the feeling was only momentary before it faded away entirely. She frowned not sure what the feeling was and she had no idea if it had anything to do with what had been done to her.

There was one thing though, Shun was likely right. Keeping secrets between them likely wasn't for the best but how would he feel after she told him? Again she found herself at a dilemma. 'I don't really know where to start.' She finally typed. 'So much of what I remember at the end is glimpses of things and then pain.' On top of a mountain of feelings and emotions she had no idea what to do with. 'I feel so lost in it all.'

As his arms came around her Mitsu leaned into his embrace again, pulling away from the laptop for the moment. Seeing Nurse Cricket was an option she supposed but something told her it wouldn't help. She had been treated by Nurse Cricket when she had arrived back on campus, what more could the nurse do that she hadn't already done?

Not wanting to be completely discouraging about it Mitsu kept her thoughts on the matter to herself. Instead she focused on what she was going to say. Start from the beginning? It was somewhere she supposed but there was worry gathering in the pit of her stomach.

'I worry about what you will think of me.' Mitsu finally typed, regret about her admission washing over her as soon as she hit enter. Panic was starting to well up, tension overtaking her muscles as she shakily continued. Apparently it effected her typing because every few words the program didn't know what to do and would either submit a word it thought she had typed or skipped over it entirely. She did her best to describe the beginning and what had happened after Candace had brought her to the Isle. The room deep under ground, her injuries that didn't want to heal, the collar, and Candace's persistence in trying to make friends. The general idea of the conversation came across it was just hard to listen at times with the words being off.

It was when she got closer to more recent events that she slow down. The fact that Candace hadn't shown up, the worry about being alone, that empty feeling of hopelessness. She stopped right after mentioning the techs that had randomly showed up and trailed off when it came time to tell him about what happened in the lab. It was like a flash of a memory, fresh and raw like the knife across her flesh. She cringed back from the laptop like it had attacked her uncertain if she could continue.

Her heart was pounding in her chest and all she wanted to do was turn around and hide in Shun's arms until the images passed. As it stood she was shaking so bad that when she went to type again only one word got through.

'Scraps'

It was the only thing she could offer as her eyes began to well with tears, now unable to see what she was doing. Why was this so hard? Why were the things that had already happen so fresh and new and painful? Mitsu didn't understand, her mind just couldn't escape and that's all she wanted to do.

Turning in his arms Mitsu hid her face in his shoulder as Shun held her close. Her focus was gone and she couldn't keep back the emotional tidal wave as it crashed over the very slight wall of restraint she had. She could hear his words and knew she should be able to get comfort from them but at the moment all she could do was cry.

The anger Shun now had came off him in waves and it hit Mitsu hard, making her shrink further into his embrace to hide. His suggestion wasn't terrible, but she had tried to think of others and the only problem was...they only replaced her in her nightmare. Instead of her going through the torture she was locked behind that glass wall in her room watching it being done to Shun or her friends and being unable to help or stop it. It was somehow all the more painful to endure because she knew it was her fault. The mental pain was far beyond the physical.

Unable to explain that to him at the moment Mitsu tried to nod but only managed to get upset all over again.