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Devil Summoner EX: Everlasting Abyss[U/C]

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Tags: Devil Summoner, Devil Summoner RP, Niciea, Death, semi-lit 

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Xelion

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Kane_Loviano

PostPosted: Sun Sep 09, 2012 2:26 am


Gaian name: Kane_Loviano

Picture:
User Image

Name/Nickname: Xelion

Former Name: Leion

Age: 20

Title: Shadows Ghost

Height: 6'3

Weight: 195

Personality: Playfull, big mouthed, kind, respectfull to those he believes deserves it, honest

Likes:
Being alone Sweets Dark nights Cold Weather Bugging the hell out of his companions A good fight Cats

Dislike:
Sunny days Failure Weak fighters Short fights

Hobbies:
Reading Training Messing with others
Relationships:
None
Theme Song:
Not Afraid- Eminem
Bio:
Leion was always the kind hearted person looking out for others and doing what he can to help others. In his human life he had grown up in and orphanage, once he was eleven years old he began working part time jobs here and there often buying treats for the other children.

During those part time jobs he was adopted by and old couple, making him their son they gave him anything and everything that he could ever want, but he never asked for anything, due to the fact they had already given him more than what he could ever ask for, a family and a home as well as the freedom to still visit the orphanage. This old couple was very wealthy and they had left everything to him when they died. Though it hurt him to see them dying, sitting next to them on their death beds, Leion was at least happy that they had died of old age and not because the heartless had taken them away from him.

It had been seven years since he was adopted before his adoptive father died and nine before his adoptive mother took her last breath. Instead of sitting around Leion would visit the orphans every day. Taking over the family buisness he would send the extra money to the orphanage.

Only months had passed and the orphanage he had grown up in went up in flames, sadly many of the orphans therer died, with sadness for those that had lost their life Leion took in the orphans that survived and made his home into and orphanage and a training facility in order to keep the children on the right track. But one night he had heard crashing and shattering sounds coming from the bottom floor fo his huge home. Rushing out of his room he noticed three children laying on the ground motionless and a fourth one in the dark little hands of a shadowy figure as four others wonderedd around. In blind rage, Leion had rushed at the creatures and lured them out of his home. Once there, more shadowy figures appeared and sorrounded him, taking with them his heart.

When he came to, he noticed he was in a beautifal dark city, with the same shadowy figures he uncotiously stabbed down in the closest one to him, he then noticed that he was dressed in all black and he had just stabbed the heartless with a two chained sickle he was not aware that he had.

When he looked some one else dressed in all black walked over to him "Welcome comrad." he had greeted before welcoming him into the Original XIII. When asked for his name, Xelion, was what popped into his mind and he then went by that name. While the figure who had greeted him, was his new leader and went by the name Kilox
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Class Nobody top tier Original XIII Number IV

Statistic


Statistics
Attack: 110
Defense: 70
Physical Strength: 90
Magic Attack: 85
Magic Defense: 65
Agility:85


Weapon Name Skyward Scythe

Weapon Picture and/or Description
User Image
Weapon Abilities
Sonic Wave- by spining one of the scythe blades aroudn him he shoots of sonic waves that weaken any -ra level lightning class magic by 1/5

Absorption- Just like with Sonic Wave but instead of weakening the magic it absorbs up to -ra level ligthnin magic, but he cant use this move more than twice per fight and once the magic has been absorbed he dischargesthat magic, by slashing one of the sicles infront of him he shoots off a wave of heat, slightly pushing the enemy back

Clothing The standard black cloack, but with a chain that connects from the top of the claock to the top of the right sleave, and another chain that connects from the waist to the bottom of his right sleave, each chain is long enough that it doesnt restrain his movements. On the back of his cloack over a white X is his number IV in brigth blue

Class Affinity: Frost Class

Abilities:

Name: Winds Flight
Description: Spinning both sickles at high speed he is able to hover in air for a short time

Name: Shadow Dodge
Description: Slicing both sickles in the air at the same time, he opens a shadow portal that will only drop him within the same vicinity and can only be used once during each fight.

Name: Elemental Slice
Description: Swinging down his blade on his opponent he is able to stop his/her magic for one post as long as it is below -ra level, last one post, six post cool down

Techniques:

Name: Stormy Night
Description: Xelion infuses his blade with magic, spining them around him he creats a small tornando that sorrounds him, the tornado shoots off small waves of the magic each in the shape of a small tornado itself.
Duration: 1 Post
Cool Down: 6 Post (since it uses aero magic)
Type of Attack +Power: Magic/ projectile 4/5

Name: Ominous Flames
Description: Infusing his baldes with fire magic he gives the fire infused blade a short boost turning the flames black burning the opponent when the blades are swung down on them, if the blades make skin contact then the opponent will suffer severe burns.
Duration: 2 post
Cool Down: 5 post
Type of Attack +Power: Magic/Physical 4/5

Name: Dark Clone
Description:by using Shadow Dodge he moves at sonic speeds making it almost look like there are three other identical clones with him, when they are nothing but after images, used as a distraction until he slices down on the opponent
Duration:2
Cool Down: 7
Type of Attack +Power: Physical 4/5

Name: Scythe Dance
Description: he spins his scythes at high speeds and with such elegance around him, delivering a strong barrage of scythe attaks giving the opponent no chance or opening to attack
Duration:1
Cool Down: 9
Type of Attack +Power: Physical 5/5



Magic:
Thundaga
Firaga
Aeroga
Haste
Magnera
Limit Drive Appearance/Description:

Name:
Description:

Limit Drive Statistics
Attack: 110
Defense: 90
Physical Strength: 100
Magic Attack: 90
Magic Defense: 80
Agility:100



Limit Break: Putting both sickles together and stabing them into the ground, he clasp his hands around the hilts of them summoning a flame that expands from his hands into the sickles tip. With the growing flames the sickles vibrate, humming with the heat they sepperat into two, the chains that connect the sickles grow and connect into Xelions back.

Name: Reapers Embrace

Description: Both his blades seperate into two connecting to his back, the chains on the blades lengthen making the reach farther as well as stronger, each blade becomes infused with a different flame, each one a different color and different heat. Bright blue being the hottes, followed by purple then black, and red being the weakest. Even though he has four blades now he can only shoot two blades, he chooses wich two depending on his opponents strength though h cannot juse the purple and black flame together and Reapers Embrace only last one post once that post has passed the flames on the blades extinguish themselves and the four blades turn back into two.

Dusk Control: .

Name: Shinigami Twins
Description: Two human shaped dusk appear out of his shadow each wearing a metal mask over their heads that cover down to their nose, each one with a cresent moon shaped scythe, one holding its scythe with its right hand the other holding it with its left, one using a flame infused scythe the other wind infused. Both of them have small silver spike protruding from their wrist and neck and two large ones potruding from each shoulder, each dusk only has one eye hole in their mask and that eye glows red
Both dusk attack their opponent whether the same or different they dont care, mostlydepending on how many opponents are present With every attack they land the element they use explode in small waves knocking the enemy back until it is cornered by both dusk.
PostPosted: Sun Sep 09, 2012 10:03 am


Ok quite a bit of things need edited or changed around

First, reread your entire profile, a lot of grammar issues, misspelled words, and make sure to separate your paragraph in your bio.

Second, in your bio you claim to be in possession of a sword but the weapon you have stated is two chained sickle, so it's either one or the other.

Third, if you're going for Number IV you need to add an additional 10 points to your attack, for at the moment you have the 500 which is the standard but Number IV has a plus 10 increase in attack/offense (same thing). Also do the same for you limit drive stats.

Fourth, your weapon abilities have many issues such as Sonic Wave, instead of using disturb say that you weaken a spell (up to ra level) by 1/5 and you can only weaken 1 class of magic.

Sonic Sound just seems kinda arbitrary since you don't utilize it in any way

Absorbtion (btw it's Absorption), like sonic wave you can only absorb one class up to ra level and there must be a consequence for continuous use (for you don't seem to release the absorbed energy. On this note how would you absorb healing magic)

Fifth, Your abilities, well for one you have one too many but more to the point. Shadow Dodge should only allow you to drop to ta location within the nearby vicinity and should be limited to one post with at the least three post cool down.

Elemental Slice isn't finished and you would need to go into detail.

Black Lightning, another arbitrary skill since it doesn't do anything but make lightning appear black.

Sixth being your techniques such as stormy knight, since it utilizes Aero magic does Aero have to cool down before use.

Ominous Flames, instead of saying it scorches the opponent with the slightest touch, have it say something along the lines of "if the blade makes skin contact it has the ability of causing severe burns."

Dark clone, please have a specific number of after images, a bunch is too vague and according to your speed it can't be over three. Also your clones don't do any damage since you state that "it almost look like there are a bunch...) so they can't deal any damage. Also what does Black Lightning have to do with any of this.

Seventh issue is Magic, you cannot know Raiden for Raiden is ja class and you would need a magic attack of 95 to preform.

Eight issue is your limit drive, or lack there is. You cannot preform a limit break without your limit drive.

Ninth issue is your limit break, you limit break can only last 1 post max, due to it being a powerful attack your opponent must take.

In duck control move the paragraph down to the description layer.

Once these issues have been dealt with, I'll check it again. Also since your are going to be in possession of two rp characters if one character becomes inactive then that character can be killed off.

Dein-zu
Captain

Dedicated Genius


Dein-zu
Captain

Dedicated Genius

PostPosted: Tue Sep 11, 2012 1:10 pm


You need a limit drive in order to limit break, your limit break could be that you summon the blades and they light on fire and what not and you can have a limit break that expands on that, other then that you're golden also post after you finished so I know to check it
PostPosted: Tue Sep 11, 2012 9:03 pm


Dein-zu

I do believe im done unless you think i should change something else

Kane_Loviano


Dein-zu
Captain

Dedicated Genius

PostPosted: Tue Sep 11, 2012 10:37 pm


User Image


You can begin posting you have to make a posting in "Where nothing gathers" since I left an portal open for you and then just reappear in Hatter Mansion and start posting, also don't forget about your other character unless you're alternating them, if you are make sure to tell the leader weather or not your character is available for the mission or not, but you will have to be active with both
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