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 Posted: Sat Aug 25, 2012 12:14 pm
It had been several days since Tujil-dasu returned home, but Tendaji had been avoiding her. It wasn’t that he was upset about her leaving – although feelings of abandonment were certainly tied in. No, it was simply that every time he saw her, his mouth got dry and his stomach did flips. He couldn’t get the words she’d once told him out of his head: ”There’s a difference between making love and being in love.” He half knew what it meant now; he didn’t love Esen but he didn’t enjoy making love with her.
Did he love Tujil-dasu? The thought made his head spin – she was a wild dog! And he never, ever wanted to make love with her: there was no physical attraction between them whatsoever. On that, he was certain; Tujil-dasu never looked at him the way Esen did and even when they slept side by side, it was an innocent and platonic gesture of trust and affection.
Affection. Oh god, he loved a wild dog.
Tujil-dasu was miserable. She hadn’t exchanged more than two words with Tendaji since their initial conversation when she got back. What had Tendaji said to Esen, what had she said to him? Tendaji was avoiding her – was he still upset about her leaving? The leaving had been necessary, she needed to kill the leopon that had attacked Tendaji back before they first met. But she’d failed that task, since the leopon was several days dead by the time she got to her.
She had to talk to Tendaji, she had to know what he’d said to Esen. She felt jealous, a strange and foreign sensation. She didn’t care that Esen was sleeping with Tendaji, she’d arranged that herself and she’d slept with more than her fair share of male wild dogs, but if Esen and Tendaji were in love… or even if they weren’t in love! She knew Esen well enough to know that she didn’t fall in love easily, but it bothered her just as much to know that Tendaji was spending more time with Esen than with her.
She had to find him. She had to know – did he feel as miserable as she did when they were apart? She didn’t care if he was a leopard; it was his wonderful, beautiful mind she loved, not his body.
Tendaji sidled around the tree where his family stayed, feeling on edge. Where was Tujil-dasu? He wanted to avoid her and talk in equal measures. If he told her how he felt, would she laugh at him, feel disgusted? He couldn’t bear to lose her; she was his best friend, pretty much his only friend apart from Esen and his family. Had he truly led such a sad an only life? Unconsciously he crept low to the ground, hoping he’d spot Tujil-dasu before she saw him.
Tujil-dasu’s nose was keen and she’d know Tendaji’s scent anywhere, even if there was but the faintest breath of it, even if it was smothered by Esen’s smell. She trotted around the tree she was sitting in the shade of.
Oh Tendaji. She stood a moment, watching him creep along low to the ground, glancing this way and that. He looked ridiculous, but the sight of him provoked more fondness than laughter. Forgetting her own pain for a moment, she slunk down and crept towards him, gathering speed and breaking into a full run as she approached.
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Posted: Sat Aug 25, 2012 12:17 pm
A streak of white was the only warning he got. “Tujil-“ he got out before a furry white blur hit him in the side and sent him tumbling. Tujil-dasu pinned him easily enough because despite Cari’s efforts at teaching him to fight, Tendaji made no effort to defend himself. He merely lay on his back and let Tujil-dasu bury her face in his chest. He breathed in her scent, unwilling to break the silence.
“Got you,” Tujil-dasu said, her voice muffled by Tendaji’s thick fur. She prodded the good luck bag Tendaji wore around his neck. “But I’ve had you for a while now.” She smiled and sprawled half across the ground, half on Tendaji, using his chest for a pillow. “I thought Cari was going to teach you how to fight,” she complained.
“She is,” said Tendaji, feeling oddly distant from himself and everything that was happening. Just another chat with Tujil-dasu as if nothing had ever happened, as if his heart wasn’t beating faster than it did at the end of the toughest spar with Cari.
“You should learn faster. Muuuch too easy to pin.”
“You got me by surprise.”
“I used my super stealth mode.”
“So I see.”
“So you didn’t see.”
“I suppose…”
Tendaji grunted as Tujil-dasu shifted her weight around, rearranging herself so that she was looking Tendaji in the eye. “Does Esen love you?” she asked bluntly.
Tendaji swallowed. “No.”
“Do you love her?”
“… no.”
“Good,” said Tujil-dasu, resting her head on Tendaji’s chest again. She liked the sound of his heart. It was going so fast! Much faster than she’d ever heard it before.
A rock was digging into Tendaji’s back and Tujil-dasu was bony, heavy and all around uncomfortable, but Tendaji made no effort to move. He liked it just fine the way it was, with her resting on him. “Are you going to stay?” he whispered, repeating the question he’d asked Esen.
“Silly boy,” Tujil-dasu muttered. “Where else would I go?”
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Posted: Sat Aug 25, 2012 12:20 pm
“There’s still your sister…”
Tujil-dasu shook her head. “She’s got somebody. A dumb lump, can’t say I like him, but he’ll look after her. Dunno where they are.”
“I could help you find them…”
“Nah. I’ll find them when they need to be found.”
“Oh,” said Tendaji, trying not to sound hurt.
Tujil-dasu smiled, hearing the hurt in Tendaji’s voice readily enough. “You can come though,” she said. “If I go looking for them again. But it won’t be for a while, my paws are tired.”
“That didn’t seem to slow down your running any.”
“Nothing does, when I’m running to you.” Tujil-dasu rolled off Tendaji and shook herself to clear the dust that had settled in her fur.
“Ah,” said Tendaji, getting to his feet. He looked up at Tujil-dasu, half formed words stuck in his mouth. There were so very many things he wanted to say.
Tujil-dasu looked down at him. “I’m sorry about Esen.”
Tendaji smiled. “I’m not.” And how could he be, when he had Tujil-dasu? Some day he’d find the words to say what he needed to say, that he loved her.
“Good,” said Tujil-dasu, her eyes shining. She didn’t even need to say it: Tendaji was hers, there was no one else.
Word count: 1,119
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