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 Posted: Sat Aug 18, 2012 4:13 pm
Maybe it was the meds wearing off, but small snippets of nightmares were beginning to peek through Otto's otherwise peaceful slumber. He awoke suddenly, inhaling quickly as he took in his surroundings. Right.. still in the infirmary. It was okay... just the infirmary.
He let out a long breath and laid back down. All his visitors never asked what happened, which was good, because he'd never tell them. He didn't want to relive it just as much as he didn't want to seem any weaker and afraid than he already was. At the very least, they all had seemed to respect that. Even so, there was a wall forming between himself and others made up of the experiences he'd had in those terrible illusions and trances.
Otto had a lot of gifts. One of those was the tray of cupcakes he'd gotten from Eva. Terribly decorated, but made with love, he was sure. It was the thought that counted. However, he couldn't eat them all. He was barely able to eat one half of one. Maybe he'd share them. Maybe. If he felt like it.
He also wondered when he'd be allowed back to his own room. Part of him wanted to be alone, but at the same time he feared it. Maybe recovering in this place with the other captives wasn't so bad. Maybe.
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Posted: Sat Aug 18, 2012 4:48 pm
Ami, on the other hand, hadn't moved or stirred once since arriving at the infirmary. For whatever reason, she couldn't seem to wake up. They had her hooked up to machines, keeping her alive for now. It was just darkness, darkness all the time. Partially, it was a blessing. She didn't have to watch nightmare after nightmare, a constant swirl of horrible memories and fake ones like she had back in the prison.
So it was actually somewhat surprising when her eyes finally fluttered open. She didn't say anything. Didn't get up and jump for joy. There were no cupcakes waiting for Ami, just the regret and misery she felt.
Junpei? The only thought she could muster up. Her hand moved slowly, painstakingly slowly to her pocket. She almost wished it could have all been a horrible nightmare. She would reach in, and find Junpei in one piece.
Her eyes closed again as she felt the pieces in her pocket, a mere memoir of what they used to be. Her weapon, of course, didn't respond. Junpei was out.
She took a sharp breath inwards and then tried to move herself. She had to go tell her officials. They would probably send her back to the pods, but at this point it didn't matter. Ami didn't want to stay here without Junpei. For as much as she hated the annoying little ********, he really was her only light left.
As she sat up, an acute pain shot up her spine and arms, burns not entirely healed. A cross between a gasp and a shout escaped her mouth and she slid back onto the bed with a painful thump. Well she wasn't getting up any time soon, that was for sure.
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Posted: Sat Aug 18, 2012 4:53 pm
A small but sharp cry rang out from another bed. Otto sat up again, looking for whom it had come from. He saw Ami, not too far off. Was she okay? Otto moved the blanket off of himself, crawling near the edge.
"Hey...?" He called out softly. He wasn't sure if he should leave his bed, considering just getting out from the blanket made him feel woozy. "Ya'lright?"
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Posted: Sat Aug 18, 2012 5:04 pm
Ami's eyes shot over to the source of noise. She hadn't even realized anyone else was in the room, she was so focused on herself. Moving her head so fast made her head spin, but it quickly resided. Otto, it was only Otto.
The real debate was how to answer his question. She was most certainly not alright, but ... Otto was only 17. She knew most hunters went through trauma, but he was just a kid. Hadn't even turned into an official adult.
She knew full well that Otto had gone through the exact same thing as her, and that he was in no place to be worrying about her. As far as Ami was concerned, nobody should have been caring about her, but especially not a fell victim.
So she laughed it off. "Fine, just moved a little too quickly," she said quietly. At least her voice still worked. She swore she already screamed herself out in the corridor. "I'm surprised you care, mister drums." She was teasing him, but it lacked her normal fervor for the sport. The words were there, but the emotions weren't.
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Posted: Sat Aug 18, 2012 5:24 pm
Oh.. he figured it might be that. Or.. well, nightmares.
The boy shrugged, averting his gaze and sitting down somewhat properly again. "I don't.. care..." He mumbled defensively, trying to pass off his concern as nothing. "Y'just scared me s'all." There was truth to that. Her cry had startled him.
"Y'only just wakin' up now?" He asked sleepily. He didn't recall catching her awake yet.
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Posted: Sat Aug 18, 2012 10:10 pm
Ami nodded quickly, but then as her brain banged against the side of her head, she realized that was NOT the best idea at the moment. She closed her eyes, waiting for the feeling to subside, giving herself a moment to calm down. It was hard working this broken body. With a few more nights in the lifers' hands she would be good as new, but her body was only just beginning to fix itself now.
"It looks that way," she said slowly, moving some of her body parts to see what worked and what didn't. Her legs were okay. Her arms hurt, but it was doable. Her back was really what was keeping her down. Whatever the horsemen did... It was a huge number on her back.
In a more controlled, relaxed tone she said, "How long have I been out?" A glum sort of haze hung ariund her as she questioned how long Junpei had been out. Even scarier was asking if he'd ever come back.
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Posted: Sat Aug 18, 2012 10:26 pm
"Ain't gotta clue." He responded with a small shrug. "I kinda been in n' out of it m'self." A lot of the in-between parts of consciousness involved a visit from one person or another. But any and all down time after that was spent in slumber land. His perception of time was no better than when they'd all been in the Horsemen's Lair. It was disorienting, and troubling, giving him vertigo without even having moved. Just another reason added to his list of reasons to sail the great river of denial.
"Sorry." He didn't have any answers. None at all.
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Posted: Sat Aug 18, 2012 11:22 pm
Eyes still closed, Ami took deep breaths in and out. Her fingers moved aimlessly over Junpei, as though clacking the pieces would somehow put him back together.
Otto applogized, and Ami actually felt worse. "You have nothing to apolgize for." She could feel a lump forming in her throat. Ami had everything to be sorry for. Sorry that she couldn't save Junpei. Sorry she'd been week enough to end up there in the first place. Sorry she felt absolutely terrified to even blink.
"Otto," she said sternly, "I'm scared.." It was a strangely vlunerable statement compared to her normal guarded rudeness.
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Posted: Sun Aug 19, 2012 8:43 am
Things were so much easier when he could just be a complete a**. But for one thing he was sharing a room with these people, and for another, he actually kind of cared about them. Which translated to being decent. It came a lot easier than he thought it would, but that urge to shrug her off and go to sleep was also strong.
So now as she lay there in the other bed, bravely admitting she was scared? Well, he couldn't ignore it, shrug it off, or tell her to suck it up. He was scared too. He just didn't have the balls to admit he was. He didn't have the courage to escape denial. That cozy little corner of denial kept him from facing his fears, new and old.
Otto fidgeted with the hem of his shirt, eyes looking anywhere but in Ami's direction. "...It's'okay. Me too." He admitted quietly. To her he'd admit it, simply because her and the other captives would get it without asking why. They all knew why. They'd been there. Their trances might have been different for all he knew, but in the end it was a nightmare for all of them. He wasn't about to make up lies that they were safe. Maybe they were for now, but that safety would never last. That's not what being a hunter meant. Someday soon, they'd all be back in the fray, faced with everything they feared.
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Posted: Sun Aug 19, 2012 8:56 am
Everything Otto said just broke her heart. He was rude and gruff, but he'd never hurt anyone without a just cause- at least to Ami's knowledge. He was a good kid, just a little guarded. Honestly it reminded Ami of herself at that age.
Which was bad. Ami didn't want Otto turning out like her. She would never wish anyone turn into a weakling hunter with a broken weapon. No, Otto could make it. He had Eva, and Gale too. Apparently he had a mystery cupcake maker. His friends would help him through this. When she thought of her own "friends," Ami shuddered. She was going to leave them all behind, wasn't she?
A change of subjects. She looked over at Otto and then back at the ceiling, noting his embarassment and respecting it. "They're ... Going to make us go back on missions," she said quietly, echoing Otto's thoughts. "I ..." Her voice dropped to a mere whisper, "I don't think I can do it, Otto." She meant the trauma and nightmares, sure, but even more so she meant not having Junpei- not that Otto would pick that up.
Unfortunately, the double meaning would be lost on Otto. She still had Junpei tucked away in her pocket. She'd break the news when she was ready, and in this state of mind she was most certainly not ready.
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Posted: Sun Aug 19, 2012 9:41 am
Otto would have frowned if he weren't already. Although it didn't hold the character it once did. He was fatigued, too tired to emote much.
Ami was older than him, and here she was looking ready to give it all up. He wasn't aware of the multitude of implications Ami was giving. Through the context he was given, he assumed she was too terrified to continue being a hunter. "But.." He murmured, "If you give up.. they'll pod'ya.. yaknow.." What gave Otto the right to say don't give up? Where was he finding this strength of will? He wasn't really sure.
"I mean.. if you really don't wanna, I get it." He really, really got it. "But as I see it, it's live to see another day, or get ina pod and never wake up again." He remained quiet, too lethargic to project his voice. It was tiring enough saying what he thought needed to be said. "I dunno.. bad as it is 'ere.. life's still worth livin'. I dunno bout you, but I had it up to here with dreamin'."
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Posted: Sun Aug 19, 2012 9:58 am
"I don't think-" She was going to say she didn't think it mattered one way or another. Without Junpei, she was just a human- no use to te hunters whatsoever. Whether she gave up now or formally resigned, she was going back in those pods, and she was terrified of that. As much as Ami seemed to hate everyone and everything, she did have a lasting instict to stay alive. She wanted to continue here on Deus, but with everything that had happened, Ami didn't even feel like she'd earned that choice.
She stopped herself though. She could hear the pity and encouragement in his tone, and realized he wasn't the person to talk to about ... Well the pods. He was obviously hopeful of their situation, and she didn't want to break the fragility of that dream.
So again she hid it. Emotions, wrongdoings, faults, she hid it all. "I never said I wanted the pods." There was some truth to that after all. "I'm just... Not ready." She deared she would never be ready.
What she needed was a change of subject. "H-How about you? How are y-" No, that was a stupid question. None of then were holding up. Awkwardly, she diverted the conversation entirely. "Did... someone bring you cupcakes?"
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Posted: Sun Aug 19, 2012 10:29 am
Well, they didn't need to be ready soon, right? They were currently "recovering". Sentenced to the duty of staying in bed. Not a bad mission at all really. It sure beat the cold damp lair of the Horsemen. Maybe being there so long was one of the reasons he didn't feel good now, on top of fatigue and surgery. Delightful.
Otto slowly raised a brow. Ami seemed to catch herself from asking a very stupid question. It was one thing to ask on the pretense of hearing her cry out, in case she fell out of bed or something. As a whole? No one here was okay.
Otto blinked and turned his head slowly, looking at the poorly decorated Get Well cupcakes. "Yeah.. Eva came by with'em. Can't really stomach'em right now though." One bite of those things made him feel sick, despite how much he loved sweets. Candy was much too heavy a food for him as he recovered.
"You can have some if ya want. They'll go bad before I can eat'em."
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Posted: Sun Aug 19, 2012 10:41 am
Ami seemed to consider the cupcakes for a moment, but her stomach strongly disagreed with even the thought. "No ... I haven't eaten in who knows how long... I don't think it would ah... Go down well." Her mind reeled at the idea of sugar.
Her stomach DID growl in protest of food. When was the last time she'd eaten? She hadn't eaten the day of the siege, and then they'd been in the lair... She did have a few bites of that bread, but the meal had been interrupted before she could get any real nutrtion in her Ami blinked as she realized it was probably more than a week. She must have been surviving off whatever they were putting in her body with these tubes and needles. For once, she was undyingly grateful to the medics in Life.
A nervous hand went to lift her shirt. Yes, those were ribs. She wasn't a stick before they left, but what she considered "pleasantly plump." Enough fat on her to have sustenance, but not so much that she would be considered overweight. Now though... Now she was skin and bones.
She pulled her shirt back down somewhat shocked and shakily said, "Oh ... Eva ..." It took a moment to register, but then she said, "Gale mentioned her when we met. She must really like you to make cupcakes..." She just wanted Otto to talk about something else. Anything to get her mind off the horsemen.
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Posted: Sun Aug 19, 2012 11:41 am
Good call. Honestly the little he'd had of them he'd regretted sometime after. Sugar was not mixing well with his meds. As for his current physical appearance? He didn't know, and he didn't want to know. He was naturally slim, but he'd at least had some muscle thanks to training with Tenya. Had all that hard work been taken? He'd find out eventually.
Ew... she said The Gale word. Dumbest word ever. What was that, naming a kid after a storm? Not even a cool storm. It was the lame storm that all the cooler storms laughed at. Hah hah. Gale.
"I guess..she does.." He murmured. Eva really seemed to like him. Something told him she saw him as a pet of some sort. He still wasn't sure how he felt about it. "It's weird.. never thought I'd get so much company."
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