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I was talking to Shadow Ra Warrior, a former GGSA member who left due to personal reasons. He told me about an episode of Baggage that he watched yesterday. Here's what happened on the show:

There was one man who admitted that he was a ballerino. The lady that he was trying to win over made some remarks insulting his masculinity such as "I want a real man." There was another guy who was competing with our ballerino. He also made insulting jabs at his masculinity saying "You don't want a man who wear tights, slippers and a tutu. He might wear any of your tights and slippers you might have."

From the above statements, they have no idea of what a ballerino is and this also shows how homophobia plays out in society and how insecure people are. They made it seem that a man can't do certain things or he is considered feminine/gay.

So here are the questions that can guide this discussion: What is your definition of being a man? Should a man feel good about himself to do anything he wants and still stay true to himself? Why or why not?

Peoples perspectives of others will always be skewed. Ultimately, it boils down to how you see yourself.

A man is nothing more than a male; a gender. To stigmatize someone and suggest that their gender defines who they are, well it's just a tad silly.

Frankly, I think that a man can do whatever he wants, however he wants, whenever he wants; the same applies for women.

Essentially, you have to think about pleasing yourself. If being a ballerino is what you love to do, well don't let anyone convince you otherwise simply because it doesn't concern them or their happiness.

People that believe your gender or sexuality defines you as a person, they're just close-minded and wholly ignorant. Masculinity and femininity don't really exist, they're just societal creations that inhibit us from really being ourselves, at times.

A ballerino is a male that does ballet. The male word for ballerina basically.

From being in Theatre and knowing the stereotypes of all men in theatre or dance it's really odd. People think that just because your a male who sings, dances, and acts means you're gay. Which is not true. I feel like a man that can do those things and that is straight is just as much of a man that plays football, hockey, basketball, ect. I think that being called a man is someone who is comfortable in their bady with who they are.

You could be gay and still be considered a man. It doesn't matter how feminine you might be you're still a man. Just as if a woman acts "manly" she is still a woman.

I think I get some of it- but some other parts are hard to understand, for example- I think we both agree that being born male shouldn't mean someone can't like dolls.

I think the tricky thing is that there's a connection between how specific single people think and how that effects society and it goes in a little loop- where how people feel about themselves comes together to form a society- and then that society passes on traditions to people that shape how they feel about themselves as they grow up.

What about non-verbal communication? I think the main reason we don't introduce ourselves, "Hi, I'm Chuck and I'm a man" is because there are all kinds of things that express gender to people for us.

This might be redundant- but it might also help lurkers so I want to post it anyway. If it helps you keep track of the post, feel free to read it- but the meat of the reason I'm describing this stuff is because of the last paragraph.

There are 3 main things people in gender studies talk about: Sex, gender identity and gender expression.

Sex is biological and for most people- male or female are assigned at birth by looking. Other people may be identified as intersexed at birth, and other people may be discovered to be intersexed later on. There is a lot of complicated stuff surrounding genetics, but XX is not always female and XY are not always male.

Gender Identity is about how we identify ourselves- our feelings, attitudes and thoughts will be part of ourselves (nurture) and also tied to our environment (nature). This is all about internal stuff.

Gender Expression is about how we choose to share our gender with others, and about how society shapes that. A transman may choose to express their gender as "woman" for safety if they cannot transition without risking their life, or any other personal reason. Likewise, that transman may choose to express as a man because it soothes their dysphoria and helps their mental wellbeing. A transman is still a man- no matter what their expression. This is about external stuff.

I think it is really interesting because when I was learning about my own gender identity and expression, I found out that because of social norms- the number of gender ques influence how people see other peoples gender. For example, a transman needs at least 7 "male" gender ques for a person they meet face to face to naturally respond to that person's gender identity.

I agree that people aren't cookie cutter dummies- but I think that there might be more to gender than is part of your world view at the moment of this post- and if you like, I could find some good gender studies that might help clear up some communication stuff.

Without getting into semantics, it's entirely what people make of it. I mean 'masculinity' more than being a 'man', which is much more about semantics. I do not think it should be taken too seriously; it relies too much on mental set. That said, that woman shouldn't have been so quick to judge by the pretty music and grace involved in ballet. A man who has control over his body is very masculine.

Society seems to put alot pressure on men to act manly and women to act girly,if they don't conform to these norms than they are automatically labeled as GAY,wtf society i wear my hair in pigtails and i'm completly secure about my manhood and sexuality(i'm straight btw),seriously this is just like that tide ad and that dr pepper 10 ad just bullshit!!!!

Talking about adding spice to the thread; wow!

Thank you all for your opinions and thank you Tiger for making this thread cheese_whine

I'm afraid that isn't quite true- there are people who identify as male all the time but do not identify as a man at all times- sometimes they're gender fluid, sometimes they're 3rd, sometimes they're something else- but that doesn't undermine their comfort with their biological sex.

I think trying to erase the people who are Binary is as bad as the people who try and force people into it.