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 Posted: Thu Aug 02, 2012 2:14 am
His bag was packed and he hefted it over his shoulder, taking a glance around his once clean now disastrous again dorm room. It was sad, really. It had only been truly clean for what? A couple of weeks at most? One late night of uncontrollable rage had taken it's toll, however. Alex's hands still bore the phantom pain from all the wall punching he had done. Books were scattered across the floor, many of them damaged beyond repair as pages had been shredded and spines snapped. He had held himself together fairly decently until he'd felt he'd gotten far enough away from Yin that he could just let it all out, and this, among what he had done outside, had been the result.
Since then he had done nothing to try and clean up his mess. He had kept mostly to himself. Had spent countless hours just sitting in his room, huddled up in his chair, staring at a red crystal that he held in his hand, the anger and hunger and need for revenge quietly calling to him during his times of solitude and silence. He had gone out and done a task with Mort and Sal, and had told the other zomboil that he was going to be leaving for a while. He hadn't told anybody why, exactly, just that he needed to go. That it would be good for him to get away. Good for him. Better for him. Safer. Those are the words Yin had used to push him away and even that small reminder of the other boil had him closing his eyes, pushing back tears, controlling the sob that threatened to choke forth from his throat. He still didn't know what exactly had happened, or why Yin didn't want him around. All he knew was that the other boil had made no effort to contact him since that night, and at the moment Alex didn't even know where they stood. Of course, he still considered himself Yin's bonded, but were they anything beyond that anymore? It was hard to say. Their last encounter seemed to have had an air of finality about it, and Alexander had been trying so desperately hard not to think about it, though his mind kept wandering back to it, over and over again, like a moth to the flame, unwittingly knowing just how much it was hurting itself by flying too close to that burning light.
Yin had hurt him. Badly. And it just kept on hurting.
Rather then stand around and dwell on it more, as he had done countless times in the days since, he began to back his way slowly out of the room, feet shuffling through torn papers and other broken things, before he stopped. It occurred to him suddenly that he aught to leave a note. That a quick message on groanspring and telling one friend where he had gone might not have been enough. Not after what had just happened. Really, it wasn't uncommon for students to just disappear one day. Parents were pulling their kids from the school almost daily, it seemed, what with all of the trouble that kept going on. But after the kidnapping...no. It was not a risk he could really take. Even if Yin didn't want to speak with him, there was still a chance that at some point he might come looking, and Alex was not going to be there. A note then. Something to stick on the door with a few words scratched across. It wouldn't hurt, really. Besides, Yin might decide that Alex would like his vaisel back at some point, right? Who really knew.
So he stepped forward, grabbed a penstrictor off of his desk, and a scrap of paper off of the floor. He jotted a quick note, then went to his closet and reached up at the top to pull out one of his skull pins. An empty one that didn't contain his crystal fragment, but had a sharp needle on the back of it. He left the room, and tacked the note up to the hallway side of the door, giving it another quick scan, reading the words again before he turned and left.
"Gone home. Might be back in a week or two. Phone is broken. If it's an emergency, contact me on groanspring, or call my house phone" Below that a phone number was scrawled, and then his name was written beneath all of that as well.
It would have to do.
Without another thought about what he was leaving behind or why he was leaving or who or what he was trying to get away from, the zomboil turned his back on his room and shuffled away. It was a long walk to the train station, and a long and lonely ride home.
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Posted: Fri Aug 03, 2012 12:56 am
The train ride had gone about as the zomboil had expected. Long. Lonely. Boring. He had sat with his chin propped up in one hand the entire way, glowering out the window towards the countryside, not blinking, not moving, not caring when somebody sat down next to him, or across from him. Not responding when the refreshment cart went by with it's beverages and snacks. Too wrapped up in his own little world, and far too focused on the pain that just never felt like it was going to subside. That steady ache in his chest that wanted to claw it's way up through his throat and make him yell, or possibly sob.
He had thought that the further away from Amity he got, the better he might begin to feel. He had been wrong. The further he went, the more it hurt. It was almost as though he couldn't quite settle on the fact that this wasn't actually a permanent thing. This was just a small vacation. One week, two weeks at the most and then he would go back. It's not like he would have been attending classes anyways. And his job? Well, he would find out if he still even had one when he got back. If he got back. Who really knew at this point what might happen? Maybe he could find a happiness back at home with his horde. Maybe he wouldn't want to go back to the Academy after a few days had gone past. Maybe being around his family again would remind him that things could be better, that he did have a choice and could choose to leave it all behind and find a place again back home.
Maybe it really would just be for the best. No more fighting. No more hunters. No more horsemen.
No more Yin.
Maybe even eventually, no more pain.
His eyes squeezed shut as the train came to a shuddering and jerky halt with the hissing sound of steam that billowed up past the window. He had come a couple of days earlier then what was expected. Nobody would be waiting for him. He could walk to his home alone and give himself that last bit of solitude before beginning some ridiculous charade full of fake happiness and lies. He pushed himself to his feet, his body stiff from the lack of movement, and shuffled his way off of the train.
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Posted: Fri Aug 03, 2012 1:42 am
Home.
It was there, in front of him. It seemed so surreal, like some kind of dream. Hours before, in his dorm room at the academy, making last minute decisions, typing out a message on groanspring, leaving notes for his friends to find in case they sought him out. Now? Standing, facing a place that he should have been all too happy to visit, but all he could really manage was numb and empty, miserable and jaded, and angry. So angry. It just never really went away.
Things seemed quiet, considering the reason for his last minute visit. He had expected more, like for the whole horde to have been there. Of course, they would have already come and gone, perhaps to come again in a couple of days for the weekend. A celebration of life...or rather, unlife.
Alex made his way forward, his steps dragging along the ground, each one heavier then the last. He could do this. He had to do this but...no, he didn't really want to do it. He wasn't ready yet. He should have just waited the two more days like he had been supposed to. Maybe things would have gotten a little better by then, if he had.
Up the small set of stairs, feet creaking against the floorboards of the deck as he made his way towards the door. A pale hand rising to the door, eyes flickering towards the mark. The mark. He had almost forgotten about it. He could already hear his mom's questions, see the angry concern in her level gaze. Luckily enough, he was wearing a hoodie with long sleeves, the type with a hole in the end to stick one's thumbs through. He did so now, pulling the sleeve down, hiding the backwards black spiral from view. Then and only then did he reach up to knock on the door, this time following through with the action, cringing inwardly at the loud and hollow sound that echoed in the silence of the outdoors. The sound of feet against the floor, one scraping along...his mother then. She would be the first to see him. He reached up hands to rub at his face, dropping them to his sides with a large grin as the door was opened.
"Hey mom!" Smiling, happy. No pain here.
"Alexander!!" Her eyes were wide, shocked, a hand rising to her chest. "You---you weren't supposed to..." A smile alighted her face, brightening her eyes as she stepped forward with arms outstretched, throwing herself into her son for a hug as she laughed.
"This is such a nice surprise. I can't believe you didn't call to let me know." She pulled away, her lips pursed in a straight line, her hands holding on to either side of his arms as she looked him up and down. "You've grown, I think." She finally said, halting her inspection to look up at his face with a frown.
"I still can't believe what you've done to your hair."
"....Mom, really?" He gave the woman an exaggerated sigh, tried to make himself look amused. Tried to hide away all other feelings. As she finally stepped back away from him, into the house, calling for his dad, he followed her inside, getting hit with a blast of cool air as it escaped outside into the eighth October mild heat.
And then his dad was there. "Alex!" The large man grinned, wasting no time in reaching out to pull the zomboil into a bone crushing hug. Alexander just let it happen, practically went limp. No use in fighting it really.
"ALEX!" A loud obnoxious sound as his brother shouldered past their dad, "What are you doing here? Mom said you weren't coming for two more days." the young zomboil was giving his older brother a rather sour look.
"What did you get me, anyways?"
Alex reached over and smacked the scareling on the backside of the head, giving him a rather nasty look.
"OW!" The other boil hollered, glaring, punching Alex in the arm before storming away. Alex was ready to go after him and pummel him into the ground.
"Alexander!" His mother chastised him, folding her arms over her chest, giving him a warning look. Right. Mustn't mistreat mom's precious little--
Oh right, that reminded him.
"So uh...where is he?" Alex mumbled, letting his brother leave unharmed, turning back to this mom, trying to look apologetic as his dad grabbed his bag from off of him and began to trudge away towards the stairs, likely to deposit it up in the zomboils bedroom.
"Over there, with your sister." She nodded towards the living room, her voice not quite gentle, concern in her eyes as she looked at her son a little more closely. Alex turned from that gaze, and could clearly see his youngest sister, Isabella, sitting on the floor, a blanket next to her, and something held in her arms as she leaned against one of the couches, gazing down with her one eye at what she held.
"And his name?" He asked, wanting to tear his gaze away, not really caring to see, but afraid to look at his mom. Worried she might see something in his eyes that she didn't like or understand.
"Well he...he doesn't have one yet. We thought that maybe you'd like to help us think of one."
Alex stiffened a little at the words, at what they implicated. Him? Name a baby? He couldn't even come up with names for his minipets! This was a terrible idea, and for some reason reminded him of Yin, just like every other jacking thing did. "Why would you think that was a good idea?" He couldn't help it, his voice came out low, growling, annoyed, before he turned and leveled the gaze on his mom that he had moments before been trying to hide. He didn't want to name him. He wasn't even sure how he felt about his newest brothers existence yet. He'd certainly been upset and angry enough when he had found out about it, though that was under some strained circumstances. But even so. This was not something he wanted.
Did nobody give a s**t about what he wanted anymore?
"Alexander...?" His mom sounded slightly taken aback, maybe even a little hurt by his tone of voice. His gaze dropped, his eyes closed.
"It's been...a long day." A long several days, really. "I just need to rest. I'm sorry. I'll be down again later. Just---let me have some time, please? I really just need to be alone for a little bit." Well, if he had been trying to hide that anything was wrong from his mom, he was doing a pretty terrible job of it now. He kept his face turned down, his eyes closed, waited for the questions to begin.
"Okay." Her voice was quiet. "Just..come down when you're ready then. Dinner will be at the usual time." He could hear her begin to move away from him, slowly, could practically feel her eyes burning into him, judging him, questioning him.
The zomboil didn't even look at her. He just kept his gaze downwards and moved towards the stairs, passing his dad on the way up and not stopping until he was in his room, closing the door behind him, turning the lock, and able to throw himself in his bed, burying his face into a pillow.
Things were off to a bad start.
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Posted: Mon Aug 06, 2012 1:25 pm
His family was beginning to wonder why he'd even bothered coming home. His attempts at pretending things were fine had been dashed the moment he'd snapped on his mom just because she had wanted his help in naming his new baby brother. Alex never snapped on his mother. Ever.
Since then he had kept to himself, locked away in his room just as he had locked himself away in his dorm back at the Academy. He didn't feel like socializing. He didn't feel like doing anything at all. Sometimes he played video games, but when he first opened up his hexbox just to see the dating sims game that was still sitting in there from Yin's visit, he stared at it blankly for a time before taking it out, walking over to the window, opening it, and throwing it out like a frisbee.
After that it was violent fighting games full of blood, death, and carnage or nothing at all.
When he did leave his room, it was to sit in silence at the dining room table, answering questions from his family only when asked, and to leave again as soon as was possible.
Home never felt so empty for him.
It was only the second evening, however, when he finally trudged his way downstairs. Most of his family was in the living room area, watching skeevee, playing with the baby. When he made his appearance, however, everything went silent for a moment, all eyes suddenly flickering towards him. They were obviously not expecting him to come down, and he kept his expression carefully blank as he shuffled his way in and sat carefully on the edge of the couch, hands removing themselves from his pockets to instead rest on his lap. The awkward silence seemed to stretch out before them, nobody really knowing what to say, or how to react. The only interruption was the droning of the skeevee and the gurglings of the newest addition to Alex's family, who was lying on a blanket in the middle of the room with bloody drool running down his chin.
White hair, skeletal foot but only to the ankle, eyes so pale they might as well have been white, and skin thats coloring was mottled in places due to rot. He was a spitting image of what Alex had looked like as a baby, and this was the first time since arriving that the zomboil actually took his time to really look at his new brother.
"Nicholas?" He finally murmured, still staring at the baby, not really caring to meet anybodies eyes at the moment. The tension seemed to evaporate from the room as everyone relaxed, though he pretended he didn't even notice. And yes, that was his name suggestion. He knew of his mom's penchant for long, more common names that his father couldn't properly pronounce but could at least shorten into something easier to say. Alex, Nathan, Bella...and possibly Nick if his mom would accept it. If she didn't like the name well then...at least she couldn't say Alex hadn't tried.
"Nicholas...is a very nice name. Thank you, Alexander. I will consider it." Her tone was gentle, and careful, as though trying not to spook him. It only aggravated him that she would feel like she needed to treat him that way.
"Would you like to hold him?"
Alex stiffened slightly, eyes raising from the unnamed zombie baby, head turning towards his mother. "No, thank you." Was his only reply, before he pushed himself up from the couch.
"I'm going...to go for a walk. Maybe find a snack." Yes, that would work. It was a good excuse to get away again, though it was hard to miss the sudden sadness in his mom's gaze as he looked away, turned, and shuffled silently out of the room.
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Posted: Mon Aug 06, 2012 3:32 pm
Another day, another silent and steady trudge down the stairs as it got nearer time to eat. He could hear the others moving throughout the house. Nathaniel as he stomped around being a pain in the neck. Isabella as she cooed and hummed to the baby, carrying him all around the house, upstairs and down. His mother bustling away in the kitchen. The opening and shutting of a door as his Dad came back from hunting in the forest that surrounded their home. Fairly normal sounds, ones that he was used to from growing up. The twins weren't there, of course, but his mom had mentioned at dinner time on the first night that they would be arriving sometime in the next week.
Great.
Three quarters of his way down the stairs, the phone began to ring, but it was easy to ignore. It had seemed to be ringing off of the hook since his arrival. Relations calling to congratulate his mother and father, mostly, or to ask if they needed any help with anything, or to ask how things were going. Nobody who ever wanted to talk to Alex. At least...not until now.
He could hear his mom's voice as she answered the phone, a questioning lilt to the word. He continued to make his way down the stairs, anything else she had to say to whoever she was on the phone with blocked out as he had no reason to think it might be a call for him.
"ALEXANDER!" His mom's call had him stopping mid trudge, head swiveling towards the kitchen, last step off of the stairs thumping down once he realized she was calling him for the phone, turning right to shuffle his way through the dining room and into the kitchen. She looked...excited. Happy. And somewhat relieved....
Automatically he became suspicious.
"You know how Alex is, it might take him a minute or two to get over here. Oh, there he is! Phone call for you Alexander!"
Giving her an almost apprehensive look, he reached his hand out for the phone, taking it from her to press against his ear.
"Hello."
He had lifted up a hand to dig into his pocket, expecting it to be one of his cousins, maybe calling to make plans to do something together now that he was home. Justin maybe, or Michael. What he wasn't expecting was another all too familiar voice, and he froze, going completely still.
"Um...er...Alexander I just...uh...I wanted to make sure that you...you were safe?"
Safe. Was he safe. He had left his number for Yin to call him if there was an emergency, not that he had ever expected that the weremantis would ever call. And then he did, and it was to ask if he was safe? Checking up on him, even though he was the one who had pushed the zomboil away? Annoyance and anger surged up inside of him, though he took a moment to close his eyes and try and calm himself down. It was nice to hear Yin's voice, and he had missed it, but this...he couldn't handle this right now. Just...no, not right now.
"I'm fine." He managed to say, before he took the phone away from his ear and hung it back up, his hand staying on the phone for a time while he stared at it, trying to make sense of wh---
"Alexander!" Oh right, his mother. Her turned slowly to look at her, his eyes beginning to burn again, only this time he thought that tears might actually flow, so he tried to blink them back.
"Don't." He said, quietly, letting his hand slip away from the phone, letting it dig into his pocket as he dropped his gaze, and stared down at the floor instead. Easier to do that then to look at his mom, who's face was shocked...horrified even.
"I...I'm going back upstairs. Don't set a place for me at the table." He mumbled, before turning his back on the woman who raised him yet again and heading slowly back up to his room.
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Posted: Mon Aug 06, 2012 4:03 pm
Alex's skeletal foot dangled off of the ledge of the branch he was perched on, his back pressed up against the trunk of the tree, some poor unfortunate creature held in his hands as he bent down to tear into it with his teeth, warm blood spurting everywhere, soaking his hands, spraying against his face and his clothes. His pale eyes flashed in the darkness when the sound of snapping twigs caught his attention, and his upper lip curled back from his teeth at the interruption of his meal when somebody stumbled into view.
Wait. He knew who that was. She may have actually been dressed like a ghoul instead of a boil, and her hair may have been loose instead of tucked beneath a maceball cap, but Alex still recognized her.
"Olivia?" His voice came out perhaps a little more growly then he intended, but whatever.
"Alex?" Her voice questioned, before she lifted her gaze upwards to where he sat in the tree, her frown barely even visible in the faint moonlight that trickled down from between branches and leaves. "Your mom told me I could probably find you out here."
Oh really? Again he found himself already feeling defensive, wondering what his mother had been saying about him, wondering if she had sent Olivia out to try and reason with him. He hadn't even spoken to her since the phone incident, and had been spending more and more time outside alone once he couldn't even stand to be in his room anymore, listening to everyone else go about their daily lives.
"What do you want?" Okay, so that growl had been a little more intentional. But if he didn't know better (and he probably didn't) she had just rolled her eyes at him, flicking her hair back behind her shoulders before placing her hands on her hips.
"Oh shut the jack up, Alex. You are acting like such a child, do you know that? So you're stupid boilfriend broke up with you. Get over it! This emo woe is me everyone feel sorry for me I'm so hurt by my teenage drama bullshit needs to stop. Now."
............Woah, woah, woah...what? Was this..this was Olivia, right? Alex didn't even know where to start. Of course he automatically felt indignant and angry, mouth opening and closing several times in an attempt to cut her off, but the words just wouldn't come. What the hell was he supposed to say to that?
"My boilfriend did not break up with me." There, that was a start. A weak start, but a start none the less.
"Don't even pretend to know what is going on with me, Olivia. You don't know me. I mean, you may think you knew me before, but not anymore. I'm not the same anymore." He sat back in his tree again, back thumping against the trunk.
"Now, go away."
Silence for a time, and then movement, but not in the right direction. She was coming closer instead of leaving.
"No." She stated, just under the tree now, and he sighed inwardly. Women. He let his meal fall into his lap before he reached up to rub at his temples with two fingers on each side.
"No, you need to come down, Alex. I---I'm sorry that I presumed to know what is wrong with you but honestly? What were we all supposed to think with the way you've been acting? Your mom told me about the phone call. It's easy to make the wrong assumptions based on something like that. Anyways, regardless, you are still being a selfish jerk. Do you think we aren't all worried about you right now? I've never seen your mother so upset. Not even after they sent the twins away. And your brother..not Nathaniel, the new one. Have you even held him yet?"
Olivia could talk all she wanted, Alexander was still annoyed and feeling just as stubborn and put out as ever. Sure, it didn't exactly feel nice to hear that he was upsetting everyone so much, but he was also beyond caring about everyone else, at the moment. He was dealing with his own pain right now, trying to work his way through his own problems. Maybe coming home to do that had been a mistake but well...it was too late to do anything about that now.
"No, no, and no. Is there anything else you wanted?" His voice was cold, and held an edge of finality to it. The only response he got was a sigh, and the rustling sounds of underbrush as his adoptive cousin began to slowly move away.
"I can't believe I actually used to like you." She muttered, as she finally left him alone.
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Posted: Mon Aug 06, 2012 5:47 pm
Today. Alex was going to try and forget about everything that had happened and just be normal. Today was the day.
The entire family had arrived. They had been slowly trickling in over the last couple of days, coming from near and far to meet the newest member of the horde. Comments such as "Oh isn't he precious?", "Oh just look at him! He'll be a real killer someday!", and "Wow doesn't he look just like Alex? Let's hope he can move faster then him." had become impossible to escape. As did his cousins, who insisted on tracking him down no matter where he tried to hide, dragging him into games, into raiding food from the kitchen, into drinking cider...of which he had maybe one or two sips and then dumped the bottle when nobody was watching. They all wanted to know how he'd been, and what he'd been up to though his answers were vague at best, his gaze somehow clouded, his attention often elsewhere. He was a phantom image of his usual laid back, happy, cheerful, grinning and exuberant self. He was no longer the cousin they all knew, and by the end of the second day that everyone had arrived, they no longer went out of their way to seek him out, finally getting the hint.
Alex just wanted to be left alone, which was ironic considering he was surrounded by dozens upon dozens of zombies now.
But today he would be better. Today he was determined to at least show everyone that he was not a completely hopeless case. He helped out around the house when he could, he went out of his way to speak to relatives, even if the conversations he might have had weren't exactly riveting. The hardest part was when people asked about Yin, wanting to know how his friend whom he'd brought home with him last time was fairing. Most of the time he lied, made up something about Yin being fine and doing quite well and ya, he would've come along too but he really needed to catch up on his schoolwork so unfortunately, not this time.
Other times his fake smile would slip away and he'd frown and excuse himself, not able to constantly ignore the pain though he put in a good effort.
One Aunt in particular he was speaking with, sitting on a couch in the living room beside her. As they chatted about nothing in particular, Alex's mother came by, baby held in hand. He let himself sit back and listen to their chatter, watched them fawn over the still to be named baby before his mom was leaving again, the zombaby now resting in his aunts arms.
"I bet you were excited to hear about your new baby brother! He looks so much like you, Alex!"
"Yes, so I've heard." He gave her what he hoped was a pleasant smile, which didn't last long because all of a sudden---
"Oh! I almost forgot something I needed to tell your mom. Here, take him!" A baby was suddenly being shoved into his arms, and Alex was helpless to do anything about it. He gripped at him clumsily, scared of dropping him but not really wanting to hold him either. His aunt just chuckled and shook her head as she walked away, and Alex could feel the back of his neck beginning to warm up, slowly. Had this been some kind of scheme? He would not have put it past those women to do something like this.
Once she was gone, Alex let out an audible sigh, closing his eyes, opening them again to stare down at the quiet bundle in his arms.
The baby was staring back at him with eyes eerily like his own, and like his mothers. It was...really offputting, actually, and he found himself wanting to set the baby down on the floor and shuffle away as quickly as possible. Surely somebody would pick him up again after that.
But no, that was absolutely silly. He was just a baby, and he really had nothing to be nervous about. And...well, now that he actually was forced to look at him he could grudgingly admit that the little guy was somehow cute. But as he held him in his arms, frowning down at him, the baby began to move, squirm, and make little noises on unhappiness. That probably wasn't good, so Alex very clumsily rose to his feet, looking around desperately for somebody that he could pass the thing off to.
.....Where the jack had everyone gone??
Of course the one time he did not want to be alone would be the only time that he found the solitude easy to come by. Growling to himself inwardly, he unconsciously began to rock the baby back and forth in his arms in an attempt to soothe him, making "shhh"ing sounds, still frowning at him like it was all his fault that they were in this position to begin with.
"All right little guy, I can see that neither of us are all that happy with this, but lets just try and get through it, okay?" He muttered, still faintly peeved at being thrust into this position. Though...was it his imagination or had the baby stilled when he talked?
"Oh, so you just want somebody to talk to you?" He asked, eyebrows raising, face less then impressed.
The baby stared at him with rapt attention. So. Jacking. Weird.
"Okay there little guy, I guess I can stand to do that. What would you like me to tell you? Is this one of those moments where I impart some of my wisdom upon you to take with you through all of the years of your unlife?" He shook his head and scoffed at the notion, still rocking the baby in his arms slowly, looking away from that unsettling gaze, and then back again after a time when he started to fuss around again.
"Okay okay, I get it. Well how about this then: If you ever get the idea that things could be better then what you already have, it's probably a lie. Stay here, stay with the horde. Don't strive to be something better, or something greater, or something different. You'll only ever just end up disappointed. And perhaps most importantly....If you should ever fall in love with somebody, turn around and run the other way as fast as your legs can carry you. Unless you like pain. In that case do whatever your little unbeating heart tells you to do an---"
"Alexander?"
Oh for jacks sakes. How did she manage to sneak up on him like that? "Here, I think he's hungry." He did not hesitate to thrust the wrapped up bundle of zombaby back towards his mother.
His mom bit down on her bottom lip, frowning a little, eyes sad as she reached out to take her newest son away from her oldest. The look in her eyes said it all. If she hadn't heard everything, she had heard enough.
"Why didn't you just talk to him? Why did you hang up?" Yes, apparently she was going to go there, and Alex just shook his head.
"Not ready yet. I might get there, though. At some point." He shrugged, because that was the only answer that he had. He was at least being reasonable with her now, not just turning and walking away as usual.
She nodded a little, then still frowning, turned to walk away.
"Mom wait." She stopped, turned back a little. "I am sorry, for how I've been the last few days but...please don't think this is just over some boil. It's...it's a lot more complicated then just that. But I'll...I'm sure I'll be fine. Just give me some time?" It was a small plea, and a fairly simple one.
She gave him another nod, this time coupled with a small smile. "Okay, sure, Alexander. Take all the time you need then. I'm...just glad to know you will be alright." She didn't look all that glad though. In fact, she still looked quite worried, and possibly a little distressed, as she looked down at the baby in her arms and shuffled away.
Well...s**t.
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Posted: Mon Aug 06, 2012 11:46 pm
"Sit down. We're doing this now and I'm not taking no for an answer."
"Mom seriously, I don't want a haircut. I like it like this."
"Well I'll just trim it up a little so it isn't in your eyes anymore." He was not aware that she actually would have preferred to cut it until all of the black was gone. Why he would want to ruin his perfectly fine gorgeous soft and slightly curling white hair by putting in un natural colors was beyond her.
Alex huffed a little bit, glared in her direction, and then shuffled over to a chair in that she had set up in the middle of the kitchen and flopped down into it.
"Fine." He grumbled. "But just a small trim. I was actually starting to like it a bit longer again." Except it always came down to the same thing. It go into his eyes too much, and before it could grow long enough for that not to be an issue anymore he got too frustrated and chopped it all off. This time it wasn't so bad, however, but he might not have liked it if it got much longer, so he less then happily complied.
He couldn't even imagine how she might have reacted if she'd seen the mark on his hand. As it was he was always keeping it carefully hidden beneath long sleeves or fingerless gloves.
As his mom went to get the scissors, a spray bottle, a comb, and a mirror, Alex had time to reflect on the last couple of days. Things had been getting steadily better. His relationship with his mom as well as everyone else in the family had been improving day by day to the point where he actually felt like he could even smile again, and mean it. It still hurt to think about certain things, and he still spent as little time around the new baby as possible for some reason, but other then that, things were definitely on the up and up.
When his mom returned, she began spraying at his hair. "Ugh, Alexander, you need to have a shower after this. Really. When was the last time you washed your hair?"
Well...considering it would have been sometime before Yin got taken by hunters....
"I dunno, a couple of weeks maybe? I don't really keep track." He shrugged, and she gave him a tap on the top of the head with the comb before she began running it through his hair.
"So. We haven't really talked much since you've been home. Did you have anything you wanted to discuss?" She was fishing, trying to lure out the root of Alex's problems, and not being too subtle about it either.
"Nothing that you need to know." He retorted, which earned him another tap on the head with the back of the comb, and this time it stung.
"Watch the attitude." Okay, so she was clearly not in the mood for him today. Either that or she had decided enough was enough and was trying to get him back under control.
"Your birthday is coming up soon." Really, it was two months away, but he supposed that was soon. "Is there anything that you wanted? Last time you asked if you could go to school and I see that has turned out well for you."
She was probably referring to the comments he had made to the baby, but he chose to ignore it. "School has turned out well. I'm learning loads of new things." Like about hunters and horsemen and how to kill humans using a fear virus before laying waste to their tiny little village. Things he was fairly certain his mom would not be happy to know that he was learning, but she was never going to find out, because a lot of it Alex couldn't talk about without blacking out anyways...or so he assumed. He wasn't about to test the theory.
"Anyways, you don't need to get me anything." He heard the shnicking of the scissors as she began to cut away at his hair, cringing ever so slightly, knowing full well what havoc she could be wreaking on his hair at that very moment.
"There is nothing that you could buy me that I would possibly want...except maybe a DDD machine." He grinned to himself, and she paused for a moment to smile a little as well. He was making jokes again! That was a nice change.
"And what about Yǐn Cáng? Does he have a birthday coming up soon?" She asked, her words innocent enough, though she did notice Alex stiffened up a little, sitting a little straighter.
"I--I don't know. I don't think he knows either. If he ever just picked a date to celebrate or if they even do that where he's from I don't think he ever told me." Where was she even going with this? Was it some ploy to get him to talk about his feelings?
"Why do you want to know?" His tone turned accusatory, and she stopped what she was doing again.
"Alex, I mean it, watch the attitude. I'm holding a pair of scissors and cutting your hair and if you continue to test me so help me I will hack it all off."
Well, apparently she meant business. Alex got a little sullen after that comment.
"Now, when are you going back to school? We need to get you a train ticket pretty soon, I think."
No answer.
"Alexander." Her voice was a growl not unlike the one he used on occasion, and it surprised him enough that he blinked.
"I......I don't know. I really don't mom. Honestly? I don't really feel like going back." He couldn't tell her why, and he couldn't tell her what had happened, so he just wished she would drop it and leave him alone.
"If I decided to quit school, and stay home...would you be okay with that?"
She was silent for a time, snipping away at his hair carefully, one more snip here, another there. Right, it was looking much better. She used her fingers to tousle it back up, giving it that curl that she always found so adorable when he was a scareling.
"Of course, Alexander. If that was the decision you chose to make, then we would stand behind you. But I think you should really think about it long and hard, and what you might be leaving behind, or losing, if you did so." She stopped, reached over towards the counter, and picked up the mirror to hand to him.
"Looks good." He admitted.
"Good. Now go and shower."
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Posted: Tue Aug 07, 2012 2:38 pm
Things had finally settled into a semblance of normalcy, and it had only taken nearly two weeks to get there. Alexander was obviously feeling better, with more cheerful smiles, more jokes, and less pain hidden away in those oh so pale eyes. He was even starting to interact with his newest sibling more, offering to carry him around and to feed him, but never ever offering to bath him. Ever. Poor little guy didn't even get a choice in the matter and it made Alex's undead heart go out to him every evening that he got hauled off to the bathtub.
Though hearing the babies cries and screeches and practical tantrums when he got doused did bring a small smile to his lips. Just like Alexander indeed.
And then there was the idea that he might not go back to school playing in his mind. Once he had said it out loud to his mom, it started to make more and more sense. Yin wanted him safe? Well, then really the last place he should be going was back to school. He had been nothing short of put through every kind of hell since being enrolled at Amityville Academy, and he was really just ready to give up and let it all stop. Hunters, Christmas, Trials, Horsemen Exchanges, Hunters, Hunters, Hunters, Horsemen. There was only so much he could take. His body might be able to take an incomprehensible amount of damage only to be sewn back up so that he could continue on, but the mind was another thing entirely, and he was not so sure he could handle any more mental strife.
And then not even knowing where he and the weremantis stood anymore only leant more towards his decision to leave. If Yin didn't want him anymore, but he was still forced to endure seeing him at any given moment on any given day....no, it would just be too painful. Perhaps over time that pain might fade away, but this was just easier. Simpler. And Alex was one who liked to take the easy road when it was available.
And he had accused Yin of always running. Alex was being a leading example in that right now and he didn't even seem to care.
Though his decision was still not yet made. Not completely. The school had held many happy memories for him as well, and those were hard to ignore. All of the friends he had met, scarentines day, becoming Yin's bonded, all the interesting classes he had taken, the library with it's wealth of knowledge, Prom, his first kiss....which should have been with Yin but it wasn't. But then there was the first kiss with Yin...and then the last two which were oh so much better then the first because the weremantis had finally returned his affections in kind.
Though all of that was soured by his final memories. Of being put through emotional hell when Yin had been taken. Of having joined himself with the horsemen in a desperate attempt to get the other boil back only to have it explode (literally, in the case of the hunters island when he'd gotten blown up) in his face. Of being pushed away and told to leave. Well, he had left. and now he could choose to remain gone. That was what Yin had wanted, after all. For Alex to be nowhere near him. For him to be safe though he still had no idea why being near Yin would make him unsafe.
He could stay here and forget about all of that in time, as well.
Dinner time had him sitting with the family, twins included since they had finally arrived a couple of days before. They seemed...different. Less creepy for one. They were more quiet, polite, and reserved. They smiled often, though it was almost a shy look, and they apologized about...well, pretty much anything and everything. Maybe the school his mom had sent them to was really doing the trick. They certainly seemed to be a lot better then they used to be, though he couldn't see how they could have possibly been any worse.
When Alexander had finished his meal he sat back in his chair, feeling full and satisfied and happier then he'd been in weeks.
"Alexander, will you take Nicholas, please while I tidy up the dishes?" His moms voice rang out as she pushed her chair back and stood, baby held in arms. Alex lifted an eyebrow at her, his lips quirking in a smile.
"So you went with the one I suggested after all. Took you long enough to realize the superiority of my naming skills." His eyes glittered with amusement as he held his arms out to take his brother from his mom, cradling him close to his chest as she just smiled and shook her head at him.
"You are impossible." She murmured. Still, Alex was feeling pretty pleased that they had actually chosen the name that he'd given them, It was unexpected, but it felt good. Nice. Made him feel like this was really where he truly belonged.
Alex pushed himself out of his own chair as well, following his mom to the kitchen once she had gathered up the empty plates. baby gurgling happily in his arms. "Mom? I uh...I think I've made my decision." He waited for her to put the plates in the sink and turn around, her eyebrows raised.
"Oh?" She knew what decision he was talking about, and didn't need to ask, though she stopped and waited for what he had to say.
"Yes I...I'm not going to go back. I want to stay here. Can you...maybe call the school and let them know? You'll probably need to withdraw my enrollment and make it all official." He couldn't really believe he was actually saying it. A large part of him felt better for it, like a huge weight had finally been lifted. But another part...it was sinking down into the pit of his belly like a stone, ice cold and disbelieving. He wouldn't be going back. He wouldn't be seeing his friends again. No more classes, no more library, no more working in the maul.
No more Yin.....
"Okay well..if that's what you really want, Alexander, then I will call the school tomorrow and get things sorted out." An encouraging smile, one that accepted his decision regardless of how she might feel about it personally, was offered. She would not judge him on his choice, would not act disappointed in him for giving up. Most importantly, she wasn't going to push him away, and tell him to leave. This was his family, his horde, and he belonged with them. They accepted him unconditionally, and always would.
"Thank you." He smiled back.
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Posted: Tue Aug 07, 2012 3:59 pm
The next morning found Alexander with his parents scraptop, sitting in his room on his bed, wanting to play some online games while running things through in his mind. He would have to get his pets back. Fei, while it saddened him to do so, he could leave with Yin. The weremantis would take good care of him, he knew, and his mom was probably going to fight with him over all of the others that he wished to bring home anyways. His books, his desk, his chair, all of it needed to come back home, but he was kind of hoping his dad could take care of it, not really wanting to go back and risk running into any of his friends and having to explain to them face to face what was going on, and why he was leaving.
Just easier this way.
Once he opened up the web browser he automatically typed in his screamail before anything else out of habit, though he was at least mildly curious to see if he had any new mail.
The usual junk. Sales on books he might be interested in from scramazon, deals on prices to holiday destinations, messages on ways to enlarge his....ya no, those went straight deletion as he clicked through them all. Junk junk junk and more junk. Nothing really interesting to note except.
Oh, a new question on groanspring from one of his friends.
Curious, he clicked on the link, then was forced to log in since his parents computer didn't recognize the site, before clicking on his inbox.
It was from Yin.
Alex read over the message a few times, something inside of his chest tightening painfully. It was asking him if he was still okay, and that part was fine really. Yin was still concerned over him which was as touching as it was confusing. But then the rest. The many pets (he assumed minipets) missed him. Princess Eva wanted to show him her new collar.
What was even.
Alex typed out a quick reply and hit send.
He didn't know what to think anymore. Here was the boil who had so desperately wanted him gone, who had treated him with such anger when he had said that he didn't want to leave, who had caused him all kinds of pain and hurt feelings....now asking about how he was doing as well as tacking on other pointless information that Alex couldn't have possibly cared about or wanted to know. Unless...Yin was trying to say something else and just didn't know how to say it. The minipets missed him...or did that just mean that Yin missed him as well? Princess Eva wanted him to see her new collar, so was that Yin inviting him back to do so? It...really made absolutely no sense.
But then again, it was Yin.
Alex closed his eyes for a moment, then opened them and typed in another message, shaking his head. If he said he missed the minipets too, that was as good as saying that he missed Yin, in Yin speak, right? Even if he was wrong, and Yin didn't understand well..no harm done, really.
Except that Alex really did miss Yin. So much. Even more now after reading that message for the twentieth time at least.
Alex typed in another message, then sat back. There, now Yin would know...oh jack, what was he even doing? Sending message after message. If Yin was anywhere near his scraptop right now his head was probably reeling. Nervous about what he might have started, he typed another message, and hit send.
..........No no no, that was no good. Jaaaaaaaaack, why couldn't he just delete these comments? Would it do him any good if he did? Yin might have already read them and he was just confusing the hell out of the poor boil.
Another message. Another send. Okay. That was good.
No wait. That wasn't good.
Another message.
And then another.
And then he was going to type in one more but...but there was a reply from Yin and he stopped to read it.
And then he read it again.
Okay, three or four more times to make sure he was getting that right. He did not need to stop? Did that...did that mean that Yin wanted him to come back? It was still confusing, and the pain of everything that had happened was still very raw but...but if Yin wanted him back then that changed things. That changed just about everything.
And Alex had told his mom that this hadn't all been about a boil. Alex was such a moron it might have actually been funny. Still, that comment of Yin's had a smile spreading across the zomboils face, a feeling of elation rising inside of him, so he did the only appropriate thing one did on groanspring, and he clicked the smile icon next to the image.
Seconds later, smiles adorned half of his own comments and he had to laugh out loud. And another comment from Yin had him shaking his head in amusement.
No, whatever problems they had, Alexander had still missed this. He still missed him. There was really no escaping that, it seemed. He suddenly couldn't wait to get back to the schoo----
Oh..Oh jack no. He had told his mom that he didn't want to go back. She was going to call the academy and tell them....remove his enrollment, make it official. s**t s**t s**t!
The zomboil probably could have happily sent Yin another message just to get more in reply but he didn't have time for that now. He scooted off of the bed as fast as he could, made his way to the door and out of his room before he was scrambling his way clumsily down the hallway and to the top of the stairs.
"MOM?" He called, and then listened, waiting for her response.
"Alexander? I'm on the phone just hold on for a minute!" Her voice drifted up from the living room area, and Alex's face might have paled if it possibly could have. She was on the phone. Oh dear jack she was talking to the school right now.
"No mom! Wait!" He called down as he began a clumsy descent down the stairs, going as fast as he could and forgetting that he and stairs didn't normally do well together.
"Mom jus----" And that was all he managed to get out before his foot slid out from underneath him in his hurry, sending him sprawling and flying backwards so that his back struck the stairs with great force, his head snapping back and cracking against the hardwood as well.
And then it was just a free fall, unconscious, down the stairs from there.
"What happend?" "Alex fell down the stairs again." "Oh well...at least he wasn't holding the baby this time." "What do you mean, this time?? He's never fallen down the stairs with Nicholas!" "No, but he fell down the stairs with you once." "Ya, and it really explains a lot, don't you think?" The twins shared a giggle.
So much talking. It made Alex's already aching head, that was absolutely splitting open with pain as it was, hurt even more.
"Guys just shuuuut uuuup." He mumbled, reaching a hand up to his head, feeling the cold floor beneath him. Yes, this was a familiar position that he was in. Falling down an entire flight of stairs was not new for the zomboil, and it probably would not be the last time it happened.
"My leg?" He asked, his eyes still closed.
"All in tact!" Isabella piped up, before remembering that Alex probably wanted them to talk a little quieter then that. "Sorry." She whispered.
Okay, his leg was in tact. That was good at least. It could be a real pain to find all of the pieces sometimes.
"Alexander, what were you trying to get down the stairs so quickly for? One second I heard you yelling at me and the next thing I know all I can hear is your body as it thumped and crashed down the stairs." She sounded slightly exasperated with him, and he cringed away from the tone in her voice.
"I was...I was..." Jack damnit but it was hard to think. What had he been coming down to do, anyways? OH RIGHT!
"MOM!" He suddenly sat up, his head and body screeching in protest from the pain he was putting them both through. "I was trying to stop you! I've decided to go back to school. I don't want to stay here I need to go back. Please tell me you didn't withdraw my enrollment yet..." Had he been too late?
"......Alexander, I was on the phone with your aunt. I was waiting for you to come downstairs so that we could phone the school together and get things sorted out. But you...you want to go back now?" She sounded surprised, but not exactly displeased.
Not yet at least.
"Yes. Now. Right now. Can we get a ticket right now?"
Everyone was looking at him like he'd gone completely off of his rocker.
"No." His mom said, rather firmly, her arms crossing over her chest. "You can not go right now. Really, Alexander, what has gotten into you? One second you are staying home, the next you need to leave now. What happened that made you change your mind?"
"Well I...I got a message on groanspring from Yin and-----" He didn't need to say anything else. Everyone pretty much collectively rolled their eyes, shook their heads, muttered collective things under their breaths and began to move away from him.
"Hey! What about that train ticket?" He called out to his mothers retreating form, to which she threw her hands up into the air in exasperation and yelled.
"I give up on you, Alexander! If you want to go back, you can call the train station yourself."
Alex smiled happily, then laid back down on the floor to let his body recover fully before actually attempting to move.
He would be going back soon, just as he told Yin he would be.
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Posted: Wed Aug 08, 2012 12:39 am
Soon turned out to take longer then Alex had thought it would. Probably because of the time of year and the fact that he was trying to leave on the first day of a busy weekend, but the zomboil was struggling with finding tickets to take him back to school that wasn't going to literally cost him an arm and a leg (He had the sinking suspicion that the ghoul in the ticket office that he was speaking with on the phone may have been a patchwork looking for some spare parts). In any case, it turned out that Alex was just going to have to spend a couple more days at home, and leave on Spookday. Not that this was a bad thing or anything, but he was actually quite eager to get back.
Of course those last two days seemed to drag by forever, no matter how much he did to try and keep himself occupied. He watched movies with his sisters, played video games with Nathaniel, helped his mom out in the kitchen, played with the baby and even helped his dad out with the hunting around the house. All the while he was anxious to be on his way, and struggled to keep himself from getting too worked up about it.
Then finally the day had come, and it was time to leave. Both his mother and father had followed him to the train station, his mother holding a package under one arm as well as a paper bag in one hand, while his dad carried Alex's luggage...which was really not much. His baby brother got left back at the house under the care of one of Alex's aunts, even though Isabella insisted she could do it herself. Alexander just had a feeling that it was more to do with his mother not quite trusting the twins then her doubts about Isabella. Though really, all the baby needed was some stitches around his neck and in 20 years he and Alex would probably be twins.
Alexander himself got to be unhampered by any belongings, which was just silly, but he knew better then to argue.
At the station itself it only took a moment to get his ticket, the platform fairly slow of activity that morning. Alex squinted over towards the pumpkin sun, thinking about how long it would be before he got back to the school, a small swell of excitement mixed with something closer to panic when he thought about it. Was he really doing the right thing, going back to the school now? It had seemed like a fairly easy decision to make at the time, but then again, so had his first one of deciding just to stay home and never go back.
"Well, I guess this is it then." He said, offering both of his parents a large smile when he turned back towards them, reaching his hands out towards his dad to take his things but instead getting pulled into large bear like hug from the much broader and taller man.
It was really really quite lucky that Alexander didn't have to breathe. He was sure he could hear his ribs creaking in protest.
Once he was let go, his bag was handed over to him and he was able to sling the strap over his shoulder.
"Yes, though I think next time you should come to visit a little sooner. I'm no expert, but I think you could use the break from time to time. Don't just wait until you feel like you have to come, Alexander. You need to make the time for yourself. And do please say hello to Yǐn Cáng for us, and tell him he is still welcome to come for a visit anytime as well. Oh, and this." She held out the package she had carried under her arm towards him.
"I know you told me that you don't know when his birthday is, but I made this for him and I think you should give it to him when you return. And these as well." She shook the paper bag at him, and he reached out to take it from her, already knowing that it likely contained more pet treats like the ones she had made for Princess Eva so long ago.
"Thanks mom. I'm sure he'll appreciate it." He hoped that Yin appreciated it, anyways. As much as he wanted to believe things could go back to normal once he returned, he had a very strong suspicion that it just wouldn't be the case. Things never seemed to be easy for them, and circumstances were always far from perfect or ideal. But that didn't mean he should stop trying, did it? There had to be an end to all of this pain at some point.
Once he was juggling the various items in hand, he held his arms open in an invitation for a hug for the woman who raised him, and she wrapped her slender but strong arms around him and held him for a time before stepping back.
"You stay safe, Alexander. Call us when you get back to the school. And get yourself a new phone as soon as you can! I still can't believe you manage to break your old one by dropping it and accidentally stepping on it." The look she gave him said that she really didn't believe it.
"Will do." He replied, still smiling, before he turned away to shuffle his way over to the train to board it. It was only once his back was turned that he let his smile slip away, his face becoming much more serious. It had been easier to control it, the longer he stayed at home, but there was still something that made him feel less like himself, and it wasn't just from all of the drama he had faced. Anger and irritation and something more seemed to constantly dwell just below the surface of his thoughts and feelings, and at times it had been quite difficult to keep himself from becoming unhinged. It was hard, but it was done, and now he could go back to the school.
And yet he still had to wonder if he was making the right choice, or if he had made any of the right choices lately at all.
Some time later, the zomboil had found himself a seat, and was waving goodbye to his parents through the window as the train slipped away. Back to Amityville. Back to his second home.
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