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WordWielder

PostPosted: Tue Jul 24, 2012 10:21 pm


King of Thieves

There once was a man, who had it all,
But his own actions caused his fall.
He took from others what he wanted,
That’s what got this whole thing started.

He started first with someone older,
Lasted long, but quick to smolder.
The more she gave the more he took,
The King of Thieves, that naughty crook.

In the dead of night while she lay,
He went off and on his way.
He traveled far and conquered most,
Coming home, so he could boas.t
.
His power bloomed from within,
The he came onto Kim.
If he was King, she was Queen,
For pretty soon she took him clean.

A role reversal is what took place,
As his own actions he would face.
In dead of night, she took off quick,
With the King’s almighty slick.

Once awake he had found,
He had lost his glorious crown.
She took his title and his gift,
Who was he without his slick?

Now he’s changed and settled down,
No more a king without his crown.
In his calmness he will stay,
Or once again he’ll have to pay.



Wrote This last semester. Hope to hear some good feedback. biggrin  
PostPosted: Tue Jul 24, 2012 10:46 pm


Very nice! I like the rhyme scheme and it had a sort of bounce to it.

Aislin Schreiber
Crew

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WordWielder

PostPosted: Tue Jul 24, 2012 10:58 pm


Thank you. That has been one of my biggest concerns because most people in my class hated the rhyming
PostPosted: Tue Jul 24, 2012 11:13 pm


Jonasan Sekkusan
Thank you. That has been one of my biggest concerns because most people in my class hated the rhyming


Well, that's not nice. There are a few, what my old teacher would call, weak rhymes in it (wanted/started, within/Kim, found/crown) but it's nothing to worry about. We all have those in some of our poems.

Aislin Schreiber
Crew

Invisible Sweetheart


Snowblazer
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PostPosted: Wed Jul 25, 2012 7:45 am


Im not found of rhyming either, but this was really good. boast had a . between the s and t though
PostPosted: Wed Jul 25, 2012 9:43 am


Not really a fan of poetry, especially the boring ones they give you in english class!
BBut this was really awesome! It kind of reminded me of a fairy tale, except it rhymed.
I'm all for rhyming poems! hahaha Keep it up, because this was very well written and had a nice lesson in it! smile

127devany127



Ekelekua


Sexy Supermodel

PostPosted: Wed Jul 25, 2012 2:39 pm


Nicely done! I especially like the rhymes. wink
PostPosted: Sat Feb 02, 2013 12:20 pm


Very nice. I was really hooked with the rhymes. No matter what people say this is really good and well written out.
There are a few mistakes in it but I am hardly one to judge and they did not affect the flow.

Solarknight7

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Poetic/Songs

 
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