Use this thread to apply for a demon! As we currently do not have a designated application format, please use the bloodline format. (It's probably going to be an edit of that anyway.)
Currently open: Ichibi Nibi Sanbi Houkou Raijuu
Someone will tidy this thread up and make it awesome later...
Posted: Wed Feb 27, 2013 2:50 pm
Edit: After PMing a mod. Ill just go ahead with Houkou to avoid any sort of restrictions on my character.
Rpc Name: Gage Melancon Village: Village Hidden in The Mist Rank: Genin Demon Applying for: Sanbi or Houkou *I'm applying for the Sanbi first, but with my own elemental affinity, I'm unsure of how that will work. If at all due to his buff against Water Jutsu. I'll use Houkou in my sample, just in case.* What you know about the Demon: Sanbi: His element is water. He gives his user the ability to breathe underwater as well as take less damage from Water Jutsu. Also, while underwater, the user can move faster then on land.
Houkou: Obviously everyone knows with this Lesser Demon you gain the ability to control the five primary elements Fire, Water, Electricty, Earth, and Wind. Having this Demon lowers each jutsu's effectiveness by a half a rank as well as limits you to using one elemental jutsu at a time with a changing wait time of two post.
Rp Sample:
The mist within Kiri had long been overcome as Gage walked the streets of his now established home. Not only did he prove himself as a Shinobi of Kiri, he actually managed to regain the trust of everyone within the village; a feat that should have taken a lot longer then it did, but he was thankful it had happen. Lately he hadn't been given much to do as far as missions were concerned. Gage's entire body had been aching and he had been told on several occasions that his eyes had changed colors while he was engaged in conversations. Rumor in the Shinobi world had it that Gage might actually host a demon inside of him, but Gage didn't believe it. He'd been in Kiri since he was seventeen and he was about to turn nineteen. If he was indeed a Demon Host, he would of shown signs at a younger age as most Host do.
Today was the day he was going to prove everyone wrong. He had been warned not to overuse his Katon Jutsu in battle, but today he would make an exception. He was going to prove to everyone that he was a Katon User through and through and there was nothing anyone could do to say otherwise. Or so he thought...
The howl of the wind blowing against the ever constant rain ceased as Gage entered the training facility. It was then replaced by a faint tatter of rain against the roof. The sound brought Gage back a moment to the first time he'd been in this facility and what exactly happened to allow him to get to where he was today. Those memories were stowed away as he was greeted by an "Umm Hmm" from the attendant at the desk. Gage simply smiled to the woman as he signed his name and walked into the near empty training room. He saw a few shinobi, none of which he knew, but he was well aware that an ANBU was to follow him around at all times due to Gage's 'current condition'.
When he finally made it to his usual training corner, a loud sigh passed through his lips as he readied himself. Suddenly he heard a voice. "You doubt my existence?" It taunted him from some hidden place. Gage couldn't place a name to the voice, but it sounded inhuman. "Where are you..." He asked aloud as he scanned the area, spinning in a complete circle, just to be sure no one was around him, but the voice never answered. 'Strange...' Gage thought to himself as he began his training. He began to finger through the handsigns as his mind still wondered who or what called to him and from where. "Fire Clone..." He muttered as a pillar of fire leaped from the cement floor to form a copy of Gage. "Let's begin..." He told his copy as the two walked off in different directions and then stopping to turn and face each other. They stopped for a moment to give the customary bow before a bout, even though technically Gage was bowing to himself, but it didn't matter he tried his best to stick to the book.
Half way up from the bow the two dashed at each other to try and get in an early blow, but their strengths were dead even the fight was going nowhere fast, but after a few minutes Gage kicked it into high gear. He would go for a low kick and the clone would jump and counter with a summer salt kick that would send Gage rolling forward to avoid. Regaining balance quickly, Gage twisted off his right foot as he reached into his tools bag for a kunai and hurled it towards his copy. "Well you're a fast one aren't you?" The voice returned again, this time it seemed closer. "Huh..." He muttered as he tried to look around to see who called him, completely forgetting about his clone who had deflected the kunai with a kunai of his own.
Seeing that his real self was preoccupied, the clone wasted no time in closing the gap between them and grabbing his real self by the neck and positioned the kunai across it. "I win" It told Gage, who seemed to be completely out of it, mumbling to himself completely unaware of what was going on with his physical body.
Time for the real Gage literately crawled as the person he heard began to have a conversation with him. He wasn't aware of anything except the fact that the person or thing who was speaking to him knew all of his secrets, his lies, his failures, and even his parents. Gage tried to argue about knowing his parents, but the voice knew more then he did himself so there wasn't much to say...
"Well well... It seems you've finally opened yourself up to me..." The voice said, changing the subject. It was then that Gage snapped back into reality, right when the kunai reached his neck. 'What the...' He thought as the voice continued. "You're too la--..." was all he heard as his eyes faded into a distant haze that made him seem like he wasn't there at all. If one where too look closely, they would of noticed a quick change in his eyes before they went hazy. His natural eye color changed to blue just as he blacked out.
Although Gage had no clue what was going on, his body's characteristics began to change drastically. A light blue flow of chakra emitted from his body and began to surround him as his short black hair began to grow long. Soon sharp fang-like teeth could be seen coming from his mouth and his fingernails began to form into claws. By this time, the clone backed off and was unsure what was going on. Gage quickly changed from being a human into a wolf-like creature. His entire body was covered in a thin layer of blue chakra that formed a tail at his rear that resembled water, usual for a Katon user.
The form stood there for what seemed like hours, unmoving, but then it feel to the ground and the clone began to melt. For some reason whatever it was that had taken over Gage had stopped. "You're too weak right now..." He heard the voice subconsciously as he lay there on the ground, passed out.
That was all the ANBU needed to see. It was positive now that Gage was indeed a Host, something that could be very valuable to the Mist; the Mizukage would be pleased. He quickly made it to the boy and scooped him up in his arms. "We've got work to do..." He said out loud as he disappeared into thin air, taking Gage with him.
-X Duo Yiro X-
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Posted: Thu Feb 28, 2013 7:10 pm
-X Duo Yiro X-
Edit: After PMing a mod. Ill just go ahead with Houkou to avoid any sort of restrictions on my character.
Rpc Name: Gage Melancon Village: Village Hidden in The Mist Rank: Genin Demon Applying for: Sanbi or Houkou *I'm applying for the Sanbi first, but with my own elemental affinity, I'm unsure of how that will work. If at all due to his buff against Water Jutsu. I'll use Houkou in my sample, just in case.* What you know about the Demon: Sanbi: His element is water. He gives his user the ability to breathe underwater as well as take less damage from Water Jutsu. Also, while underwater, the user can move faster then on land.
Houkou: Obviously everyone knows with this Lesser Demon you gain the ability to control the five primary elements Fire, Water, Electricty, Earth, and Wind. Having this Demon lowers each jutsu's effectiveness by a half a rank as well as limits you to using one elemental jutsu at a time with a changing wait time of two post.
Rp Sample:
The mist within Kiri had long been overcome as Gage walked the streets of his now established home. Not only did he prove himself as a Shinobi of Kiri, he actually managed to regain the trust of everyone within the village; a feat that should have taken a lot longer then it did, but he was thankful it had happen. Lately he hadn't been given much to do as far as missions were concerned. Gage's entire body had been aching and he had been told on several occasions that his eyes had changed colors while he was engaged in conversations. Rumor in the Shinobi world had it that Gage might actually host a demon inside of him, but Gage didn't believe it. He'd been in Kiri since he was seventeen and he was about to turn nineteen. If he was indeed a Demon Host, he would of shown signs at a younger age as most Host do.
Today was the day he was going to prove everyone wrong. He had been warned not to overuse his Katon Jutsu in battle, but today he would make an exception. He was going to prove to everyone that he was a Katon User through and through and there was nothing anyone could do to say otherwise. Or so he thought...
The howl of the wind blowing against the ever constant rain ceased as Gage entered the training facility. It was then replaced by a faint tatter of rain against the roof. The sound brought Gage back a moment to the first time he'd been in this facility and what exactly happened to allow him to get to where he was today. Those memories were stowed away as he was greeted by an "Umm Hmm" from the attendant at the desk. Gage simply smiled to the woman as he signed his name and walked into the near empty training room. He saw a few shinobi, none of which he knew, but he was well aware that an ANBU was to follow him around at all times due to Gage's 'current condition'.
When he finally made it to his usual training corner, a loud sigh passed through his lips as he readied himself. Suddenly he heard a voice. "You doubt my existence?" It taunted him from some hidden place. Gage couldn't place a name to the voice, but it sounded inhuman. "Where are you..." He asked aloud as he scanned the area, spinning in a complete circle, just to be sure no one was around him, but the voice never answered. 'Strange...' Gage thought to himself as he began his training. He began to finger through the handsigns as his mind still wondered who or what called to him and from where. "Fire Clone..." He muttered as a pillar of fire leaped from the cement floor to form a copy of Gage. "Let's begin..." He told his copy as the two walked off in different directions and then stopping to turn and face each other. They stopped for a moment to give the customary bow before a bout, even though technically Gage was bowing to himself, but it didn't matter he tried his best to stick to the book.
Half way up from the bow the two dashed at each other to try and get in an early blow, but their strengths were dead even the fight was going nowhere fast, but after a few minutes Gage kicked it into high gear. He would go for a low kick and the clone would jump and counter with a summer salt kick that would send Gage rolling forward to avoid. Regaining balance quickly, Gage twisted off his right foot as he reached into his tools bag for a kunai and hurled it towards his copy. "Well you're a fast one aren't you?" The voice returned again, this time it seemed closer. "Huh..." He muttered as he tried to look around to see who called him, completely forgetting about his clone who had deflected the kunai with a kunai of his own.
Seeing that his real self was preoccupied, the clone wasted no time in closing the gap between them and grabbing his real self by the neck and positioned the kunai across it. "I win" It told Gage, who seemed to be completely out of it, mumbling to himself completely unaware of what was going on with his physical body.
Time for the real Gage literately crawled as the person he heard began to have a conversation with him. He wasn't aware of anything except the fact that the person or thing who was speaking to him knew all of his secrets, his lies, his failures, and even his parents. Gage tried to argue about knowing his parents, but the voice knew more then he did himself so there wasn't much to say...
"Well well... It seems you've finally opened yourself up to me..." The voice said, changing the subject. It was then that Gage snapped back into reality, right when the kunai reached his neck. 'What the...' He thought as the voice continued. "You're too la--..." was all he heard as his eyes faded into a distant haze that made him seem like he wasn't there at all. If one where too look closely, they would of noticed a quick change in his eyes before they went hazy. His natural eye color changed to blue just as he blacked out.
Although Gage had no clue what was going on, his body's characteristics began to change drastically. A light blue flow of chakra emitted from his body and began to surround him as his short black hair began to grow long. Soon sharp fang-like teeth could be seen coming from his mouth and his fingernails began to form into claws. By this time, the clone backed off and was unsure what was going on. Gage quickly changed from being a human into a wolf-like creature. His entire body was covered in a thin layer of blue chakra that formed a tail at his rear that resembled water, usual for a Katon user.
The form stood there for what seemed like hours, unmoving, but then it feel to the ground and the clone began to melt. For some reason whatever it was that had taken over Gage had stopped. "You're too weak right now..." He heard the voice subconsciously as he lay there on the ground, passed out.
That was all the ANBU needed to see. It was positive now that Gage was indeed a Host, something that could be very valuable to the Mist; the Mizukage would be pleased. He quickly made it to the boy and scooped him up in his arms. "We've got work to do..." He said out loud as he disappeared into thin air, taking Gage with him.
Before saying why, I'd like to note that there aren't likely to be any restrictions added later that don't already exist now. There are still alterations to come on some of the released demons, but they won't effect your character in the way you're thinking of.
Now, as for why this is denied, the only evidence of it being a demon sample is that something in your head is talking to you, and you grow a chakra cloak in one of the last paragraphs. It's a very nice post altogether, but doesn't qualify for this purpose.
A few other, problems...
Throughout the post, it seems to be implied that you've been this demon's host your entire life, and that the village suspects it due to recent events, but isn't sure. If you did receive the right to be the host, that would be completely wrong. The previous host was/is a member of Kirigakure who has gone inactive, prompting the opening of the demon. Kiri would be well aware of the transfer to your RPC, and it would occur in the future of the current RP, not the distant past.
A slightly more serious mistake, the Houkou does not have a chakra cloak, nor does it force the character to take on wolf form. Even just switching to all fours only happens in stage four release, which you didn't reach in your sample. The changes to the character are physical alterations, not chakra creating extra bits.
Anyways. You're free to try again, but I want more detail in the "What you know" section, and far more action involving the actual demon in the sample. I want to know that you can RP actively using the demon's abilities, not that you can RP, oh and by the way the character is a host. Read the Demon's info page. Read it again, memorize it, and once you think you're the foremost expert on what it is and what it can do, try again.
Posted: Thu Jul 24, 2014 9:16 am
Rpc Name: N/a (Doesn't have one yet) Village: Does the village have a name yet? Rank: Academy Demon Applying for: Houkou (Shooting for the stars) What you know about the Demon: This demon was mistaken for a Bijuu, like most of the other Lesser demons. However, Houkou is closer to a god of nature, since it can control all elements, the five basic as well as their combined forms. Houkou never deigned it necessary to correct people on the thought it was a simple demon, and not a truly noble creature, based on the thought they didn't deserve to understand. Houkou is easily capable of rivaling the Bijuu since it will always have the elemental advantage.
Unlike any other "Demon", Houkou physically alters it's host rather than creating phantasm chakra appendages. Even the tails the Host grows are true flesh and blood. This makes them slightly weaker, but being topped with a pure element is normally deterrent enough to keep away any would be attackers. Rp Sample:
"Houkou, lend me your strength." The young man said, a smile spreading across his face. It'd been a while since the village had done this, and even longer since he was allowed to participate. Becoming a perfect host had been worth all of the time away, and coming back to everyone else being more powerful was an amazing upside too. It was a battle royal, and for the second time he was allowed into the competition. The man's eyes were a hazy pale white, and they scanned the combatants. The man knew what most everyone had up their sleeves, but everyone knew exactly what he had. 'Not that it matters, their hold over the elements pale in comparison.' A voice emanated from the surroundings, rocks, the wind, everything made the voice's components, and it all resounded in the man's mind. Nature itself was within the man, and everyone knew the power Nature held.
"Let the battle begin!" An announcer yelled from the stands where all of the onlookers could watch. There were ten combatants, each of them more than capable of winning. Firstly, there was the Houkou's Host, then there was the speed driven swordsman,
(Working on it, gotta eat pancakes with friends.)
TvIaMsOqTuHeYz
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Posted: Thu Jul 24, 2014 4:59 pm
TvIaMsOqTuHeYz
Rpc Name: N/a (Doesn't have one yet) Village: Does the village have a name yet? Rank: Academy Demon Applying for: Houkou (Shooting for the stars) What you know about the Demon: This demon was mistaken for a Bijuu, like most of the other Lesser demons. However, Houkou is closer to a god of nature, since it can control all elements, the five basic as well as their combined forms. Houkou never deigned it necessary to correct people on the thought it was a simple demon, and not a truly noble creature, based on the thought they didn't deserve to understand. Houkou is easily capable of rivaling the Bijuu since it will always have the elemental advantage.
Unlike any other "Demon", Houkou physically alters it's host rather than creating phantasm chakra appendages. Even the tails the Host grows are true flesh and blood. This makes them slightly weaker, but being topped with a pure element is normally deterrent enough to keep away any would be attackers. Rp Sample:
Pale eyes scanned the scene before the man. A battle in a war was occurring, the likes of which had never been seen at this point. There were children fighting, the men had already killed the men, and now children were called forth to fight the battle of their fathers. It made the man whose pure white eyes scanned the scene sick, and nearly cry. 'Listen, this is easily solved, we must simply stop both sides in their tracks. Only a few more moments. Just remember the training, don't let your emotions get the best of you. I'll kill them all.' a voice seemed to emanate from everything around the man, yet no sound was audible. It was as if nature itself spoke directly to the man. The man's eyes began to change, slowly turning to a light blue, like the strike of a lightning bolt. As color began to seep into the man's eyes, his hair grew wild and unkempt, some sprouting where it had never grown to such lengths, his thin beard lengthening and covering his face in long thick hairs, like an animal's fur. "Don't worry Houkou, I'll stop them and cease this futile war." The man's voice came out slightly raspy, not like his normally silk smooth voice. It had a hint of feral energy to it, and the tone of something other than the man himself. The man lowered himself to a crouch as hair grew behind him. It lengthened, swirled, and twisted like it was alive, ending after a short while, and then a loud snap was audible as Lightning crackled at the end of it. The snap was so loud that the battle below momentarily paused, most of the combatants looking at the source of such a deafening crack. "Lightning Henge" The man said, not needing hand signs for such a low level technique. The man's body turned into lightning and he launched himself from the cliff, smashing into the ground directly in the middle of the battle. His body reformed, his tail twirled around his body, looking like a spiral of electricity. "You all have no reason to fight. The ones who began the war lie dead beneath our feet. Cease now, go home, comfort your mothers, and console the younglings who lost their fathers." The man said, his voice even rougher than before. Some of the combatants simply shrugged him off and resumed their battle, some never looked at him to begin with, some stood there staring in awe, some fell to their knees, and still a few more actually turned and ran to carry out the man's command.
"Who are you to tell us what to do, huh?" A strong looking shinobi said, running forward and attempting to land a hit on the man. The man simply raised a hand and caught the man's fist, the man's hand slowly slid toward his face, stopping just short of it. The shinobi's hand was clenched tightly in it, and the man's pale blue eyes were staring directly at the shinobi, no solace within them. "You fight simply to fight, you have no reason to live, however you do have people who love you at home so your life is spared." The man said, his tail unwinding with blinding speed and catching the young shinobi around the throat. The Shinobi clutched at his neck, then immediately let go as a shock radiated through his body, hitting his spine and making his body stiffen then loosen. The man let go of the Shinobi's body, and turned to see several blades thrown at him. "Children of the dead, your cause be damned, cease before I have to utilize the power of nature more fully!" The man yelled, his eyes changing color once more to a pale green. His tail changed from crackling lightning to a roaring wind, invisible to the naked eye, but the hair swept wildly in the torrent. The man twisted in the air, swinging his tail behind him. "Slashing Wind Skill!" He said, a tornado launching from his tail. It hit the wall of thrown weapons and threw them in all directions like they were paper in the wind. The tornado flew past the weapons and swept many of the shinobi away, launching them in all directions. For twenty feet in that direction, the ground was ripped to shreds, and nothing stood there. The man looked at what he had done and cursed under his breath. Even though Houkou wasn't influencing him yet, he still lashed out in anger. He took stock of what was happening, and realized that his hair was beginning to grow once more, and another tail was sprouting form him, it was covered in a roaring gale as well. The man shook his head and took a few steps backward. He'd been training for months, but he still wasn't in complete control. 'CALM DOWN! You're hitting stages you don't need to deal with these children, if you don't slow down, you're going to lose control and rip these younglings to shreds.' Houkou's voice emanated from everything around the man, trying to soothe his mind. "Thank you, I'll need you to keep me on track. I don't want anymore blood shed, not by these kids, and not by you through me." The man said, straightening up.
( Not done, and honestly not up to par with what I've written yet. Any input on it so far would be appreciated, like if I'm portraying Houkou correctly in the very few times he's spoken. I might have a section for when the character was training and insert that before he goes to the battlefield if I need to expand on Houkou's personality.)
Ehhh, feels more like a lightning henge application than a demon one. lol
Much as I like the sudden idea of Houkou being an aggressive pacifist, and definitely like the idea of him playing adviser at times, I think you need to tone down that aspect a bit. The character himself feels a bit unrealistic and definitely one dimensional throughout. The "Entry" bit, while a cool use of lightning henge, feels overdone as well, though has little to do with the demon. In that regard, I actually recommend toning down the backstory a little bit. It'd be great for an autorank app to go in depth into the character through something like that, but demons are better served with something more fast paced. Definitely show more of the demon rather than trying to expand on the scene and character (Especially when said expansion feels forced).
The thing that stands out most is right at the end though.
"'CALM DOWN! You're hitting stages you don't need to deal with these children, if you don't slow down, you're going to lose control and rip these younglings to shreds.' Houkou's voice emanated from everything around the man, trying to soothe his mind. "Thank you, I'll need you to keep me on track. I don't want anymore blood shed, not by these kids, and not by you through me." The man said, straightening up."
A demon advancing through stages is them attempting to seize control over the character. A perfect host can control when they move up a stage, but outside of that, moving up is at the will of the demon, not something that just randomly happens. That will be explained a bit more when I finally release the PH system, but it's still notable anyways. The issue then that sticks out to me here, is that the demon, who is evidently attempting to push up the stages, is telling the host to stop gaining stages. But what is even worse is that the demon is telling him not to out of concern that if he gained control he'd slaughter everyone. So, the demon doesn't want to kill people, but will if he gains control. Does the demon have a demon? Jinchuurikiception?
~
As a recommendation (To anyone wanting Houkou), this demon would be best served in a sample with a One Versus Many battle royale, and definitely focusing on the ninjutsu at first. Not just one jutsu after another, cause that's something any ninja can do, but instead focus on the element switching. It'd probably be best to play the sample as a perfect host just to get the full effect, though if you do that you might want a separate section to show you understand how it'd work unmastered.
Also, a note to anyone wanting any demon. All the demons are currently under revision, including those currently available for viewing. Some changes are being made to them all, some minor, some major. No demons will be sealed in game until they have been updated and the Perfect Host system is released. Some demons are currently planned for short arcs, and won't be sealed until that arc. Others we haven't planned much for at all. Those ones might be available for autoranks, but that's unlikely as well.
Essentially what I'm saying, is that no demons will be sealed for quite awhile. If you want a demon, feel free to apply. In fact, it's best if you apply as early as possible, even if you end up having to take the demon on a second character if approved. Your activity level after your application up until the time of sealing will have a strong effect on your chances. Lastly, no approvals will be made until the demon is ready to be sealed. If you have not been outright denied, you are still in the running to attain the demon when it is sealed. The choice of who takes the demon will be made when it is sealed, according to what we have seen in game of the applicant's skill and activity, across all characters.
